Chapter Nine

"Ron is going to kill you. You know that, right?" Harry asked conversationally.

Pansy made a face. "It's no wonder you Gryffs can't do anything right. You have no sense of adventure."

"I like to think I have just the right amount of adventure in my life. Now that the war is over, I think a bit of relaxation is due me."

"Blasphemy," she said. "We're going to work with tireless resolve to get Weasley with Draco."

"Oh good. I thought we were going to just lounge around and drink lots of caffeinated beverages."

"Sarcasm does not become you, Mr. Potter," she said.

He smiled. He was starting to see why so many guys picked girls that were difficult and hard to deal with. It was fun. Plus, Pansy came up with some great plans.

Well, they would be great if they worked.

"Pansy, there's no way Ron is going to go along with this."

"What if you and Granger team up on him?" she asked.

"What, you think he'll magically do everything she wants just because they're seeing each other? You really don't know how love works then."

"Well he's a lot more likely to listen to her than he is to me and we need him in on this."

"So I'm your errand boy?"

"Yes," she answered. "Is the big bad Gryffindor going to cry about it?"

He looked at her, a little surprised to see she was smiling. It was a happy smile, as if he had told her a grand joke or done something very nice. She wasn't being mean. She was just being herself.

He liked it.

"Fine, I'll talk to him. But you might want to think of a plan B while I'm gone. Just saying."

He left on that note. He knew Ron would probably be at the Quidditch field and it was there he headed first. Sure enough someone was flying around the pitch. To cinch it, Hermione was sitting in the stands, her head buried in a book. As he started up, she looked up, her attention going first to the flying figure then to him. Her face, which had been tender when she looked at Ron, changed to warmth of a different degree.

"Hey, Harry. What can I do for you?"

"I'm pretty sure I know the answer to this, but I have to ask. Will you help me and Pansy get Ginny and Malfoy together?"

"Of course. But you know I have to talk to Ron about it."

"Actually, Pansy wants Ron in on the plan."

"I've never known her to be stupid. But I guess the Slytherin side has to prevail at some point."

"Are you saying all Slytherins are stupid?"

"No. I'm saying they all have crappy plans. If Ron agrees to the overall plan, she and I are going to have to have words about the details."

"Oh, this is just all kinds of fun waiting to happen."

"Potter."

Harry looked up. Draco was standing in front of them, looking like it pained him to even be talking to them.

"Hey, Lover," Hermione chirped. "Long time, no see. You better be careful how long you hang. I think Ron's still a bit jealous."

"I am something worthy of being jealous of," he sniffed. "I need you two to do me a favor."

"What?" Harry asked.

"Convince Ginny Weasley to date me."

"Great plan," Harry said. He caught Hermione's eye and she mouthed 'crappy'. They both burst out laughing.

"I'm not asking for a serious commitment," Draco hurried to say. "I just want a date. Two hours of her time."

"We'll see what we can do," Harry said. "But you'd better get. Ron looks like he's coming over here to kick your ass."

"Fair enough," Draco said and trotted off.

Ron had landed his broom and now came over to them, scowling at the departing Draco.

"What did that git want?"

"To get back together with Hermione," Harry said with no small amount of glee.

"Don't be mean, Harry," Hermione admonished. "He wants us to convince Ginny to go out with him."

"Never going to happen. "

"C'mon," Harry said happily. "I think they'd be the cutest couple. Ginny would be constantly trying to kill him. He'd be undermining her authority with vicious rumors and you and the others would be kept nice and busy trying to find ways to kill him without Ginny finding out. I mean you wouldn't want her to know you were the one who actually pulled the trigger. I'm pretty sure she'd turn her murderous side on you."

"You're right," Hermione said, warming to the topic. "It's one thing if she kills him but she wouldn't ever want anyone else to have the pleasure. It's a great plan. They wouldn't get into any trouble because they'd be so busy trying to kill each other. It would be like Wednesday and Pugsley."

Ron and Harry looked at each other then at her.

"From the Addams Family? C'mon, I can't be the only one to get that?"

"Don't be silly," Harry said. "Wednesday tried to kill Pugsley way more than he tried to kill her. I'm pretty sure it would be mutual if they ever got together."

"How true."

"My sister would kick his ass." Ron looked a little crazed and Harry discretely took a step away from him. "We're going to do it. My sister is going to go on a date with him and tear his soul apart."

He stormed off to change.

"Harry, I worry about my boyfriend sometimes," Hermione said conversationally.

"Word," Harry replied.

(A/N: Gotta love Harry and Hermione when they're being devious.