Disclaimer: I am a brunette, broke and not British.
Warning: Abusive!Dursley, AU/non-canon, Dumbledore!Bashing, Dursley!Bashing, Father!Snape, Kid!Fic
A/N: Nobody guessed my RPF reference in the last chapter **SIGH** oh well. Anyway, beta'd by the wonderful sexyslytheringoddess012, thank you so much! Sorry for the delay in update, had family visiting. Enjoy!
Chapter 8
I was avoiding the subject.
Since I had gotten the letter from Madam Bones I had forestalled breaching the topic of guardianship with Harry. We had an appointment for the end of the week, and tomorrow was Monday.
Monday, I groaned to myself, Harry would need to come to work with me. I had reflected on Poppy's earlier words, about making 'arrangements with work', and had come to the conclusion that 'arrangements' meant taking him with me.
"Merlin, he does not even know how to draw properly," I sighed, rubbing at the ache that was settling in my temples. How on earth could I expect him to be entertained for an entire ten hour day while I was supposed to be working?
I was lost in my thought by the time Harry woke up. I had just set the last plate of food down when he decided to make his entrance. By some miracle I had managed to produce breakfast without any catastrophes this morning.
"Sev'rus?" Harry, looking quite disheveled still dressed in his pajamas, came out of the hallway rubbing his eyes with his stuffed toy tucked under the other arm. "Who're you talkin' to?"
"Only myself," I sighed, urging him to sit down and eat, "It seems we're going on a trip today."
I had already given into the developing circumstances. The very idea was repugnant, I looked down at Harry, but inescapable. His eyes were wide and I could practically see the dozens of questions storming up in his thoughts.
"Where we goin', Sev'rus?"
—SSHPSSHPSSHPSSHP—
To Hell.
Sighing, I straightened my shoulders and held Harry's hand a might tighter. It may have been Sunday, but Diagon Alley was just as busy as ever. Hoards of people bustling in and out of stores like bees to flowers, street vendors shouting out alleged bargains for their wares, beastly noises from hisses to squawks all contributed to the arranged mayhem that was Diagon Alley.
"Stay very close, Harry," I ordered, snapping him out of his visual exploration. He was spellbound in the bazaar around him, seemingly try to absorb all of it. However, I knew it was impossible to take in everything – every corner had something new, every store sold something the next one did not, and every building blended together creating a labyrinth that only an expert could navigate. Having the apothecary for nearly five years, I considered myself such an expert.
And I was.
Within minutes, we were in front of an acceptable store, one I reasoned I would not die of shame upon entering. It was tucked in a back alleyway, and there was hardly a soul in sight. In large, faded pastel letters was 'Teiff's Toy Shop' with another sign hanging right below that said, 'come in young wizards and witches for the funniest fun and the most playful playthings'. I snorted at the ridiculous words.
"Abandon all hope ye who enter here," I mumbled under my breath, thinking the saying much more appropriate.
—SSHPSSHPSSHPSSHP—
"Welcome! Welcome! Come in from the cold," a booming Irish brogue voice shouted as we stepped inside, a bell above the door announcing our arrival. A rather lanky, older man came out of the backroom, covered in wooden shavings and wearing a worn leather apron. As he stepped around the counter, I felt Harry cower behind me. Not having any of that, I eased him to my side. His hold on me tightened, and I felt him completely still as he clung to my outer robes.
"Well, who have we here?" the shop owner squatted down to Harry's level, his hands patting his shirt and apron, "I seem to have misplaced meh specs."
"They are on top of your head, Sir." Harry whispered, pressed behind my robes like a cat behind the drapes.
"Well, suh they eh're," He pulled them down and placed them on the edge of his rounded nose, "My, that's a might'eh fine young lad yeh got there!" A small smile peeked through and I felt his grip on my robes lessen a might.
"It seems we're in the market for toys," I spoke up, trying to speed things along. We did not have all day just to waste with this inanity.
"Oh, what a lucky lad yeh are!" he grinned and winked at Harry while wagging his finger, "What eh're we looking for today?"
I looked to Harry.
He looked right back.
The shopkeeper took mercy after a few silent, uneasy moments.
"Well, yuh've certainly come to the right place, lads," hands on his knees, he pushed himself up, "Why don't yeh both just look eh'round."
Harry kept a hand bunched in my robes as I led him down the nearest aisle. We walked past a few displays and Harry remained silent. We went down another aisle, and still he said nothing. I finally protested his stillness.
"Do you see anything you like?"
"I dunno," Harry whispered, darting glance between me and his shoes.
"Don't you want to pick out a few things?" He quickly shook his head, pulling himself against my robes. Alarmed, I quickly dropped down on my knee and saw Harry withdraw his shaking hands from my robe and into his jumper. He looked devastatingly lost. Not lost in awe like outside, but lost as in overwhelmed.
"What is it?" I placed a hand on his back.
"I-I-I d-don't think I should g-get anything," He was stuttering, which I had noticed he only did when feeling particularly distressed. By and large, his relatives.
"Why not?" I asked, holding back a sigh.
"C-cause ah'm not s-s'posed to keep things," He whispered, shame settling over his features, "Aunt Petunia says its wrong for me to have things I don't need, says it's selfish." I barely held back a growl as I thought of that insufferable woman instilling such pain and parameters over the child. Holding back my anger, I tried to ease Harry's anxious state.
"But you do not live with those people anymore, correct?"
"No," he admitted after a long moment.
"You live with me," I reminded, "and starting tomorrow you will be accompanying me to work. I do not believe you would find cataloging valerian roots and sorting beetle eyes to be very interesting, do you?"
"Dunno, pro'ly not," Harry shrugged, his hands falling from his sweater when his shoulders dropped.
"So it would be of great benefit – for the both of us – if you had some form of amusement to occupy your time while I am working. Don't you agree?"
He shrugged his shoulders, his gaze slowly lifting.
"Well, that is what I think, and I do want you to have things of your own." He finally looked all the way up, meeting my gaze, and slowly nodded. "And I am not sure how much longer my potion journals can sustain your interest or your handling."
"Can I provide eh'ny assistance?" the old shopkeeper interrupted, coming around the corner.
"We could use some help finding some suitable items," I stood up, keeping a hand on Harry's shoulder.
"Well, I believe I understand the situation," I interpreted this as he had eavesdropped on our conversation, but let it go, "and meh thinks I can be of service."
—SSHPSSHPSSHPSSHP—
By the time we had finished Steiff, the shop-owner, had wrapped up a half a dozen wooden puzzles, a pile of children-specific picture books including drawing books with pictures that were to be colored in, a set of gobstones, a working train set that ran on a foldout floor track, and – what I suspected to be Harry's personal favorite – a beast and creature playset that came with a toy wand that could change their appearances. He seemed quite pleased about seeing a wand for himself, candid excitement getting the better of him. The shopkeeper had even charmed Harry into a chat.
"Yeh can turn this here fig'rine into a full fledged hippogriff with this here wand. It'll be just as tall as yeh are, lad."
"Really?" He gasped, excitement flooding his small stature.
"True as I eh'm standin' here, lad," he swore, his face foolishly serious, "Why, meh grandson has the whole set, and he's always playin' with this here Jarvey. Drives his mum right up the wall with all the swearin' he taught it." He barked out a croaking laugh before tucking the last package in the bag. Placing the receipt on top, he hoisted the carrier over the counter.
"I put a catalogue inside if yeh lads want to look for eh'nything else," he grinned, "Yeh're in a puddle of trouble with that'un."
"Thank you," I begrudgingly muttered, taking a hold of the carrier's handle and my charge, "Come, Harry." The old codger smiled knowingly, seeing us to the door. Harry smiled back and thanked him as well before I hurried him out. I had spent a near week with the boy and had barely been shown a smile. Within a half an hour, this old man had Harry grinning and carrying on with him. Frowning, I tugged Harry closer and quickened my pace. I felt my aggravation return.
This was not how I had imagined starting the week.
—SSHPSSHPSSHPSSHP—
"Make haste, Harry, we are almost there," Severus huffed, his breath turning to clouds before his face. It was getting dark out and it had gotten colder, but we were walking so fast I was sweating under my jumper and coat.
"Where we goin', Severus?" I panted, glad he was holding my hand. I knew if he wasn't I would definitely get lost. There were crowds of crowds of people here! Everywhere I looked there were the craziest things – In the windows, from the street sellers, even the people were wearing the most funny clothes and hats!
"To the Apothecary," he said, slowing down a little, "I need to pick up a few things and we need to make arrangements for the week."
"Oh." He sounded angry, but he wasn't yelling. And he looked kind of sad, too, like someone had yelled at him. I wanted to ask him what a 'pot-carry' was, but I did not think he would want me to.
Stupid children like you I don't deserve such nice things! You take away enough from this family!
My tummy knotted and my throat hurt as I remembered what Uncle Vernon used to tell me. Suddenly, I felt like I was going to sick up breakfast.
Stupid, you took his money for those toys, you took his food, and now you wanna ask him stupid questions? Why shouldn't he be cross with you?
Frowning I held tighter to Severus' housecoat. Didn't he want me to have that stuff? He was a guardian, right? My guardian? Guardians were supposed to be nice, right? Didn't Mrs. Figg say that?
"This is it." Severus stopped so fast, I tripped and fell into his legs. Scrambling up, I ended up just falling again. "Good grief."
Before I knew what was happening a door creaked and I was being carried inside and placed on somewhere tall. A countertop, I knew it was Severus. My cheeks burned as I realized he had carried me inside, like a big stupid baby. Ducking my head, I felt tears burning my eyes and I quickly scrubbed them away. I did not want to act like a baby, especially in front of Severus.
"Harry, did you hurt yourself?" Severus was pulling on my arms now and soon I could not hide my face anymore. I tried shaking my head, because I could hardly talk now, but he did not seem to like that. "Harry, you need to tell me if you are hurt. I can help-"
"Sorry, Sir." I swallowed my tears and kept my eyes on my lap.
"I thought we talked about this 'Sir' business, Harry," I knew he would definitely be angry now, "Are you hurt?"
"No, Sev'rus," I made sure to say his name right, "m'kay."
"Are you upset?" He was talking softer now.
"No, Sev'rus."
"You seem to be in quite a state for someone who is not upset or hurt."
"Sorry, Sev'rus," I heard him sigh, real heavy like, and I felt worse, "Sorry for being trouble and taking things and being stupid and-."
"Harry, calm down!" His voice was loud, but it was not mean. His took his hand away from my arm and began rubbing my back. And it didn't even hurt, because he made it better with that stinky medicine. I took big breaths and rubbed away the rest of the stupid tears. "Now, Harry, you need to tell me the truth, I do not appreciate being lied to. Are you hurt?"
"M'fine, Sev'rus," I looked at him and he seemed to be studying me like he did when we first met, "honest."
"I cannot help you if I do not understand what is wrong. You must tell me if I am to be made aware of the problem. Why did you think you were in trouble?"
"Cause you were mad at me, and I was being a baby, and I cost you a lot of money at the shops, and I fell, a-a-and…AND I DON'T WANNA GO BACK TO THE DURSLEY'S!"
"Oh, Harry," Severus sighed again, but this time he dropped his hand on my head, rubbing the hair out of my eyes. He did that before, in the library, when he was being nice, "You are never going back to those people. By no means."
He looked like he wanted to say something else but instead he shook his head and took off his house coat.
"It seems we both still have quite a bit to adjust to."
"What's that mean?" I asked, as he pulled me off the counter. He did not look mad no more, and my eyes were itchy but it was not because I was going to cry.
"It means I apologize for being…short with you. I was not angry with you, more with the state of affairs. I am very pleased you have belongings, and I am very, very pleased I could provide them for you."
"Oh."
"Very pleased, indeed," he ran his hand across my forehead again, and he was smirking at me like he did instead of smiling, "And it is not 'being a baby' if you are hurt. As the adult here, it is my responsibility to take care of you. Not the other way around, understood? "
"Okay, Sev'rus." I leaned into his hand, and he gave me another smirk.
"Now," he lifted the carrier bag, "I think it's high time we unpack these, don't you agree?"
A/N: Next chapter, Severus takes Harry to work – a grumpy git, a five year old and a store full of potentially dangerous potions…WHAT COULD GO WRONG? Haha, and on that note I say adieu!
