I wonder if I have to clarify that this is "not mine" every single chapter?
Chapter Eight
when i close my eyes
Bella
The kids went back to school today, and I am devastated. They were excited to get back on the bus. They missed their teachers and their friends, so I sucked back the tears and kept my eyes dry.
Tanya made partner at her firm, and she's been working this huge case. I don't know if it's just me, but Max sees her less now than before. I mentioned it to Edward, but he got so pissed, I had to shove a cupcake in his mouth to calm him down, but then he started choking, and I freaked out. He laughed so hard as I tried to give him the Heimlich.
Me and Leo are on our way to lunch at the diner, and I decide to invite Edward.
Sure. Emmett wants to come.
Cool. Bubby is starving. See you there.
The diner is empty when me and Leo walk in, well except for Waylen, who sits on his usual stool. Cora waves at me as I choose a booth closest to the door. I sit Leo beside me instead of getting a high chair.
Cora brings a menu and our drinks before Emmett and Edward show up.
"Edwud!" Leo stands on the seat, shaking his arms so Edward will pick him up.
"Hey, bubby." He says, kissing his head.
I kind of swoon, and then mentally slap myself for swooning over a married man.
Emmett sits across from me, and Edward pushes me over, letting Leo sit on his lap.
We order our burgers and fries, and Leo gets macaroni with his French fries.
"So, I was thinking. You should build me a house."
Edward looks at me funny, and I give him a look like what?
"You have a house," he says.
I shove a fry in my mouth and chew it. "No, I don't. That's Rosalie's house. The kids are trashing it."
"I can't build you a house," he says, stealing some of Leo's fries and sipping my soda. I grab it out of his hands because soda is one thing I don't like to share.
"What? Your job is to build houses!" I look at Emmett to see he's watching us, eyes narrowed. "Emmett, you guys build houses, right?"
"Yeah, Bella. We also build business buildings and all that. Where are you going to build this house?"
"I haven't thought that far ahead. I'm sure I can find somewhere." I say, hopeful.
"Find somewhere, and then we'll talk," says Emmett, but he's looking at Edward not me.
"Okay, cool!"
Edward pays the bill despite my protests, and then carries Leo to my car. Emmett waits at Edward's truck.
He buckles Leo in like he always does, making him scream and giggle. "Later bubby."
After closing the door, he stands in front of me, his tattooed arm resting on the top of my car. "You can't move," he says. "Max will miss you."
"Later Bella," he says, pulling on the ends of my hair and walking backward to his truck.
Edward
I'm just about to leave work when Emmett calls my name. I stop by his office and he gestures for me to sit down.
"I gotta go pick up Max."
"What the fuck is going on with you and Bella?"
"Nothing's going on," I say, and I mean it. Nothing is going on. She's getting way under my fucking skin, and she's all I can think about, finding excuse to be where she is. She's so fucking great with Max, Harlow and Leo, it drives me fucking crazy good.
"It didn't look that way today. You might need to distance yourself from her if you're catching feelings."
"I'm not catching fucking feelings," I lie. "She's my neighbor and my kid's babysitter. That's it."
"Whatever you say, man."
"What the fuck does that mean?"
"Nothing," he says, holding his hands up. "Just watching you two today at the diner, with Leo in your lap, you guys look like a fucking couple. You're married, man."
"You think?" I say, sarcastic as shit. Like I could fucking forget I have a wife.
He shrugs. "I thought I'd remind you."
"Thanks for the reminder. I'm out of here."
"I'm just lookin out of for you, bro," he yells at my back.
When I get to my truck, I just sit there, frustrated and confused and so fucking angry.
…
…
…
When I pull up to my house, Tanya's car is parked in the open garage, and it surprises me. She's not supposed to be home until Sunday.
I pull out my phone and text Bella.
I'll be over for Max in a minute.
Cool. He's eating dinner.
I walk into the house and Tanya is sitting on a stool at the kitchen counter. Her hair is down and her jacket is unbuttoned showing the swell of her breasts.
"What are you doing home so early?" I ask. "Why didn't you go pick up Max?"
She takes sip of her wine. "I thought I could spend some time with you first."
"We can't just leave Max with Bella and fuck around."
"She won't care, Edward. She loves Max."
You should be the one loving Max.
She stands up, her slim hands finding my waist. "I need to feel you."
My dick swells against the zipper of my jeans, and I yank her closer, gripping her arms, slamming my mouth down onto hers. She moans, and I am desperate. Desperate to feel her around me, desperate to get Bella out of my head, so I can prove to myself that I still love my wife.
I strip her out of her clothes and lay her across the counter top. I leave my clothes on, but push my jeans down my thighs. Reaching up, I run my finger through the folds of her wet pussy, and she cries out, begging me to fuck her.
Jerking her forward, I slam inside of her, watching as her tits bounce. I fuck her hard and unforgiving, my fingers gripping her too tight, but when I close my eyes I see Bella.
Her long, dark hair.
Gorgeous brown eyes.
The way she scrunches her nose when she teases me.
Her giggling with Max and Low.
The way she loves and nuzzles Leo.
I shake my head, fucking Tanya faster, harder, sweat dripping down my forehead. I fuck my wife, not Bella.
Tanya.
Not Bella, who cooks me dinner almost every night, who hides sweets in her house for me and Max because Tanya won't buy them, who wants me to build her a house, who invites me to lunch at the diner just because.
I don't fuck Bella, the girl next door who crashed into my life, stealing a place in my heart.
I fuck my wife.
Tanya.
I squeeze my eyes tighter, slowing my thrusts as I imagine Bella laid out beneath me, her tiny little body yielding to me, her hands running up my arms, loving and caring, her sweet voice whispering "fuck me harder, Edward."
I gasp, grinding my dick inside her, watching as she throws her head back, her mouth parted as she comes around my cock. Groaning, I jerk inside her, coming harder than I ever have in my life.
"Edward," Tanya says, her hand running through my sweat damp hair. She's not Bella, and I fucking feel sick that for one second I thought she was.
I pull out of her, avoiding her eyes as I tuck my dick away and zip my pants.
"Get dressed. I'll go get Max."
"I'm going to take a bath," she says, grabbing her clothes. "Maybe grab a quick nap."
Shaking my head, I leave the house to go get my son at Bella's, who takes care of him like he's hers, who would never take a nap instead of spending time with him.
I don't know what's worse. Fucking my wife thinking of Bella, or still fucking my wife when it's Bella I really want.
I don't want to want to betray Tanya, but I can't stop being around Bella. Max loves her, and she's my best friend. She takes care of us like it's her life's mission, and I'm not giving that up for anybody.
