End of the week, hah.

001, Glad to be back! (Deja Vu) I still have to watch the Punisher, but that doesn't really matter as I consider this the sequel to both Mysterion Returns and The Coon. And I STILL need to watch a playthrough of TFBH. Can't wait for your stories though! Pelosius, I read the translated version, and you pretty much nailed it. It's completely 1 for 1. As for Cartman remembering Kenny's deaths, I think I might have retconned that in the very first story, and I don't consider this that canon anyway so, yeah. Thakeron, I already sent you a large block of text as a reply, but I hope you enjoy this chapter regardless.

Oh shit, I didn't do a disclaimer last chapter. Oh well.

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or any of its characters.


3rd Person PoV

"Fuck, oh fuck this is not good." The driver says as he slams the accelerator to flee the slaughterhouse.

His phone begins ringing: an unknown number. He fumbles with the phone as he tries to get it out of his pocket while keeping the van on the road. Eventually, he answers.

"Who the fuck are you and what the fuck do you want?" He gives a panicked yell as he swerves to miss a car.

"Now, now, that is no way to talk to your boss." The voice says, distorted with a voice manipulator.

"Oh, shit, um, Mr Overlord, Sir! The slaughterhouse, it's-"

"I KNOW THAT IT'S BEEN COMPROMISED. Do you have the girl?" He demands.

"Uh, y-yes, Sir!" He answers immediately.

"Then get her here, no matter what. Oh, and I would be careful, I'm pretty sure you have attracted loads of attention." The phone cuts off as a spotlight begins shining on the van, as well as sirens being heard from behind.

"THIS IS DENVER POLICE DEPARTMENT, PULL OVER!" Above, the helicopter pursues the van as Fitzgerald watches from inside.

"Ma'am, we have located The Coon at the suspected location. He is with at least one other accomplice." An officer says to her.

"I figured that leaving them alone until The Coon would strike was a good idea. Now we have both of them." She grins. "Get the SWAT after The Coon!" She orders.

Meanwhile, at the slaughterhouse, Coon and Mole are inside the Coonmobile. The Coon presses a button, activating all the lights inside the car.

{Coonmobile, fully operational}

Cartman slams on the accelerator as the burst out onto the road.

"Eric, we are too far be'ind, we are never going to catch ze basterd from 'ere." Mole complains.

"Oh come on, he couldn't have gone that far." He says, eying the helicopter. "And it looks like all we have to do is follow the sirens."

"Um, I think ze sirens are following us." Mole says as he eyes the screen displaying the rear view camera, showing a bunch of cop cars swarming them.

"Oh, fuck my life. Where did you get the information on the slaughterhouse Mole?" He asks.

"... Ze Denver Police records." Mole sighs as Cartman facepalms.

"Damnit! They knew this was the place, they knew we were coming and they let us do the damn dirty work." He curses under his breath.

"Now, calm down, you are currently in what is basically a tank. Zhere is no way in 'ell zhey are getting to us." Mole assures him.

"We still have to shake them. We don't need the cops finding our base after we get this guy." He replies.

"I thought we were going to raise 'ell at ze next place." Mole says.

"I'll consider it after we lose the cops." He replies. Mole closely watches the helicopter take a right.

"Zat way, hurry up." Mole points right and The Coon makes a sharp turn onto a straight. However, at the end of it, there's a large SWAT blockade with numerous SWAT officers standing in front of it.

"Uh, Eric.." Mole says.

"I see it. Don't worry we'll smash right through it." Cartman assures him.

"Eric zhere are people standing zhere." He says. Coon takes a closer look.

"They'll move, I'm sure of it." He reassures Mole, and slightly himself.

However, the SWAT officers don't budge, even if they begin shaking.

"Cartman, zhey aren't moving." Mole says.

"They will." He says as they near the blockade. Still no movement.

"Cartman!" Mole shouts as Eric swerves into an alleyway, narrowly missing the blockade and the officers. They emerge from the other side, with cops coming immediately from behind, double the amount from before.

"Sheet!" Mole shouts.

Meanwhile, as the van continues it's high speed chase, another blockade is set up for them.

Back inside the van, the driver dials the unknown number again, reaching the Overlord.

"I'm about to hit a fucking blockade! I'm not going to make it!" He cries.

"Don't worry. I always come prepared." The Overlord answers before hanging up.

Suddenly, one of the cars in the blockade explodes, destroying it, allowing the van to pass through.

"What the hell was that?" Fitzgerald clenches her fist from above.

"The blockade exploded. Must have been outside interference" An Officer replies. News helicopters invade the area, forcing the police helicopter to descend.

"Fucking media choppers. Tell the men on the ground to ram the damn van then!" She orders.

Back on the ground, the cop cars begin to catch up on the van. One car drives up beside it, attempting to ram it into some street posts. The response is getting rammed into another cop car, sending them both crashing into a building. The van misses another ramming attempt, swerving to narrowly miss a lamp post, as two cop cars come up on either side of the vehicle. They both start ramming it from either side, causing the driver to pull out a submachine gun. He smashes a window before firing at the cops in the car. He misses each shot as the cop readies to return fire. Fumbling with his gun and the steering wheel, the driver struggles to reload as the cop pulls up to the window with his gun out.

Just as he's about to fire on the driver, a gunman wearing a skull mask riding a motorcycle pops out in front of the cop and shoots him in the head, crashing the car into a lamppost. Another masked rider does the same thing to the other cop on the other side, spinning him out. Another motorcycle appears behind the van, and they begin covering the van from each side.

"Goddamnit! Get a sniper out here!" Fitzgerald yells as she opens the side door of the helicopter.

Meanwhile, in the Coonmobile, Coon and Mole continue to have near misses with the cops as they struggle to follow the helicopters above the van.

"I think we are getting close." The Coon says as the cops keep appearing behind them.

"We 'ave to get away from zhese cops before we reach zis van or else ze amount of cops be'ind us will fucking triple." Mole says as he readies his assault rifle. Coon notices this.

"Woah, what the fuck do you have that out for?" He asks.

"We 'ave to get zis done one way or another." Mole replies.

"No dead cops. I thought we agreed on this." Coon says, and Mole opens his mouth in protest, but Cartman gives him a glare. Backing down, Mole puts away his assault rifle before sitting back.

"Hey, is zat ze van?" Mole points to his left, where he sees the van ahead of them. They both groan at the sight of the cops closing in on the van.

"Now 'ow ze fuck are we going to reach zhem. Zhere is a wall blocking our sides of ze road." Mole points out the barrier between them. At this moment, The Coon gets an idea.

"Select Condensed Air Mines." The Coon commands the computer as it brings up its targeting system.

{Condensed Air Mines Selected, Targeting System, Online}

"What ze fuck are you doing?" Mole asks as The Coon presses a few buttons.

{Front Facing Targeted Selected}

"Just hit the throttle when we hit it." He says, and Mole realises the plan.

"You're fucking insane." He replies.

"I know." The Coon smirks before shooting a mine directly in front of him. As soon as they hit it, Mole goes full throttle, blasting them into the air, past the cop cars chasing the van, and landing them directly behind the rear motorcycle. The landing causes some of the cops directly behind to slam on the brakes, causing a jam of cop cars behind the Coonmobile, leaving it completely open.

"What, The, FUCK HAPPENED?" Fitzgerald screams into her radio, fuming having just watched the stunt The Coon pulled.

"He has a lot of firepower, ma'am." An officer replies with an impressed tone.

"AND YOU DON'T?!" She screams before shutting off the radio.

Back on the road, Mole disengages the boost as the Coonmobile begins to gain on the van. The rear motorcycle gunman aims his weapon at the car, spraying it with a load of bullets that barely make a dent in the car. The Coon moves to the right of the motorcycle, before ramming it hard, sending it crashing behind them.

"I can't use the air mines against the van as it might injure the person at the back. I'll have to ram it from behind and have the front crash into a lamppost or a wall." The Coon says.

"Zhere are more cops coming be'ind us, but zhey are quite far. If we are interrogating zis beetch, we better do it fast." Mole says.

"We aren't interrogating anyone." The Coon coldly says before increasing the throttle, gaining speed on the van.

Meanwhile, up in the air, a news chopper is covering the scene closely. The police helicopter next to them have snipers attempting to kill the motorcyclists, but they keep missing.

One of the snipers notice something as he is reloading. He uses his scope to take a look at the news chopper's landing skids. His eyes widen at the sight.

"Ma'am, you may wanna see this!" He says to Fitzgerald, who takes a look through her binoculars to see a dark-cloaked figure hanging from the chopper. She quickly yanks the rifle away from the sniper and lines up a shot, but before she can fire, the figure releases his grip from the helicopter and dives towards the van.

The figure's cape opens up, allowing him to glide across the sky before landing on the roof of the van. Before the motorcyclists can fire, the figure whips out two shurikens and throws one at each bike's front tyre, sending both of them to a screeching halt as the Coonmobile zooms past them.

Inside, both the Mole and The Coon back away from the van, visibly shocked.

On the van, the re-emerged Mysterion takes a quick glance at the armoured vehicle before hanging off the side of the van, giving it no attention. He moves to the driver, who in a panic, begins shooting out the window. This causes Mysterion to lose his grip in his right hand, having him precariously hanging from the side of the van with his left. Struggling for a few seconds, Mysterion manages to get a hold with his right, before kicking the driver in the head. The driver raises the gun, but it gets kicked out of his hand, before finally, Mysterion kicks him hard enough to have him ever left, sending the van hurtling towards a lamppost.

Mysterion let's go of the van, landing on his feet as the van comes to a sudden halt when it crashes into the lamppost. The Coonmobile zooms to the right both, before coming to a halt just ahead of the crash. The Coon then jumps out of the vehicle and heads towards the driver.

Mysterion casually walks to the back of the van, opening it to reveal an exhausted Bebe Stevens. The look she first gives him is one of awe, surprise, shock, and wonder. He helps her down without saying a word, before hearing the sound of a dying gasp. He slams the door shut before seeing The Coon walk back towards the armoured car. Mysterion walks over to the driver's seat to see the driver with his throat slit.

He turns to The Coon, who is staring at him. He gives him a long glare, before The Coon glances up, and runs back towards his car. Mysterion considers giving chase before hearing the sound of helicopter blades above. Cop cars surround the area, allowing the Coonmobile to escape and they completely enclose Mysterion.

"MYSTERION, STAND DOWN. YOU ARE SURROUNDED. YOU ARE A VIGILANTE AND YOU WILL BE BROUGHT TO JUSTICE." Fitzgerald says through a megaphone.

Mysterion takes a look around him, surveying the situation as cops get out of the cars and aim their weapons at him. He then takes out two sets of firecrackers, hesitating to see if the cops would open fire. When they too hesitate, He ignites both, tossing them at either side of him, causing large enough explosion to create a thick smoke cloud.

When the smoke clears, Mysterion is nowhere to be found.


A/N: HE'S BAAAAAAAACK Finally after a story and 9 chapters, Mysterion has made his return! Tell me what you thought about it by leaving a review, as that would be very much appreciated. And as always…

Thanks for Reading!