A/N: New readers and old, please see the end for a very important notice!


Chapter 9

The plan had been to wait them out. That is, that had been the plan until he had set off the proximity alarms. The high pitched, annoying sound was agitating to his auditory sensors, even from his elevation, probably amplified by radio waves of some sort. But that didn't really matter, as knowing how it reached him didn't make the whining any easier to bear.

The truth was, he didn't go down there because he had no interest in getting shot that day. The factions had settled into something strange, like a stalemate, and as loathe as he was to admit it, he had grown used to not dodging lasers. But his trine was down there, in enemy territory, and they hadn't outlived their usefulness yet.

Then again, if it became a frequent occurrence, he'd say slag it all, let them deal with it. He would have to make this clear to them. To Skywarp, that meant constantly reminding him every nanoklik, and to Thundercracker that meant... well, he wasn't entirely sure on that part. But he had time to work on it later.

He had tracked them to the Ark through their comm. signals, which due to a damping effect had proven both a frustration and a challenge. He'd already left the Nemesis by the time he started tracking them, which of course meant flying lopsided through open air, but it was that or lose precious time. He hated wasting time.

And now he was flying around the Ark in circles, realizing the teeny, tiny hole in his plan; he had no plan.

"Getting dizzy?" a voice broke in. The static curled it, threatening to strangle it, but he received it all the same. He accelerated out of shock, trying to locate the source hastily.

"Just get down here," the voice went on. He could hear the boredom in it. "It would be easier that way. Don't worry, they won't shoot. Unless, you know, you do your stupid megalomania thing."

"I don't know what you're on about," he returned, practically doing the frequency equivalent of a hiss and a spit. "Megatron is the megalomaniac, not I. I've gone over this!"

He scanned over the entrance and nearly stalled in confusion. The Autobot medic and Thundercracker were standing there, holding their hands above their visages and looking up at him. It was surreal. It was mystifying. It confounded him.

Most of all, it really slagged him off.

Had he been a romantic, he would have been deeply moved by the subtle messages in an Autobot and Decepticon standing together, looking to the sky. But Starscream was not known for his romanticism, and it did nothing but irk and offend him.

"Having fun defying physics?"

"Blow it up your exhaust, Thundercracker. And get out of the way."

"I'm not in the way."

"You will be when I run you into the ground," Starscream said, and that was, quite simply, that.

And he did. Or, at least, he tried. But millennia of pseudo-camaraderie had wisened Thundercracker to this behaviour, and he backed up before Starscream actually made contact. This was good, as a tangled mess of jet parts would have been really odd to explain to the Autobot medic standing there. Which of course begged how Starscream didn't run into him instead; but that never really crossed his mind for any serious contemplation.

Starscream casually dusted off an arm. Thundercracker gave him a regular 'how-do-I-put-up-with-you' look, a cross of hatred and exhaustion. The Autobot medic looked like he considered all of this to be absurd and beyond him.

What was that Autobot's name? Some kind of tool. Wrench? Spanner? No, no. Well, there was no sense in wasting time over it. He would just pretend he remembered such a trivial thing and be done with it.

"Where's Skywarp?" Starscream demanded.

"Dunno," Thundercracker said, shrugging. "Don't really care at the moment."

"Fine. Why aren't you in the brig then, being tortured by the trigger happy one?"

"Would that be the red trigger happy one, the yellow trigger happy one, or the other red trigger happy one?"

"Any of them!" Starscream sputtered, frustrated. He was so frustrated, in fact, he reached out in attempt to wrestle some sort of sense into Thundercracker, but again Thundercracker pulled away without so much as even acknowledging the threat.

"I'd hate to break up the reunion," the Autobot medic said, "but we have a situation. A situation that is rapidly growing out of control."

Starscream turned to the Autobot, feeling murderous among other things and not in the mood to listen to the jabber of things out of control. He could see that for himself, thank you very much. He looked back to Thundercracker, whose visage was a mask. "What are you even doing here to begin with?"

"It's 'Warp's fault," was the simple response.

He groaned. "What now?" He looked around.

Ratchet, watching the whole exchange, decided enough was enough. "Starscream, if you care about anything, you will shut up and listen to me. This affects your teammates."

Starscream snapped his head towards Ratchet. Before he could say anything, his mouth curled in the beginnings of a snarl, the medic continued. "Now, the situation so far is not good. My primary concern, and I believe a connection to the problem, is a white Soundwave somebots tell me is running around." The medic said no more, just looked at them with his blue optics.

Thundercracker couldn't believe his audials; the medic – no, Ratchet – was ordering Starscream to shut up and listen. And perhaps what was most amazing of all was that Starscream did indeed listen.

Starscream himself was simply dumbfounded. How could this mech – a medic no less – treat him like this? He was second in command of the Decepticons! Then he thought about what had actually been said. "How would this affect Skywarp?" Starscream forcefully inquired. "We both know he isn't dead or hysterical."

Ratchet turned wordlessly and motioned them to follow.

"He's saying there is a white Soundwave running around," was all Thundercracker said as they stepped behind him.

Starscream grazed his wingmate with a glare. "Who says?"

"Skywarp. And him." He nodded at Ratchet.

"I know he says!" Starscream twisted his visage in thought. "But what is Skywarp on about?"

Thundercraker shrugged. "No idea."

"He's always been difficult, Skywarp," Starscream mused.

"Mm." Thundercracker glanced at Ratchet's back, and lowered his voice an octave. "To be honest, Screamer, there's something even stranger going on."

Starscream was sure what to make of this, but followed suit in exercising caution. "Such as?"

"There's… a casualty."

"Fascinating. Who?"

"It doesn't matter who. The fact is someone's dead, and not by Decepticon hands."

Starscream narrowed his optics. He could see where this was going. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying there's a third party involved, impeding and harassing the Autobots for some unknown goal. And if we don't cooperate, the Decepticons could be next." Thundercracker gave him a knowing look. "Even if you survive, you might not have an army to take over, Screamer. Think about it."

Starscream glared forward, past the medic. "I'll think about it, indeed."


He tiptoed to the rec room, feeling light-headed and woozy. Skywarp knew there'd be the Pit to pay for leaving Thundercracker in enemy territory, but just thinking about the Autobot twin's 'Jet Judo' made him want to purge. Well, and jump off something, but since he could fly, it just wouldn't hold to same merit as it did to a ground-pounder.

When he turned the final corner, he froze in fear. Dark blue, menacing, and emotionless, Soundwave was walking right towards him.

"S-S-Soundwave?"

He stopped for a moment, tilting his head downward. "Affirmative."

Skywarp grabbed at his head. "Ohhh, I hate this so much!"

Pop!


"Pro-owl, my leg huuurts."

"Deal with it."

Bumblebee huffed. "That's encouraging. What a comrade."

A moment of peace.

"Pro-oooowl."

"Oh, by the-"

"Can you give me a piggyback ride?"

"I don't even understand the question."

"Duuude, a piggyback ride is like, the easiest thing, man."

Both Autobots started, the main difference being that Prowl prepared himself for a fight while Bumblebee fell right back on his aft. Before either could launch a strike at the white mountain of a mech in front of them, another white mech stepped forward.

"Prowl! 'Bee!" Jazz said. "Man, am I glad to see you guys."

From his position on the floor, Bumblebee pointed up at the other mech. "So, uh, wh-who's tall, light, and faceless?"

Before Soundwave could start his 'heroic Decepticon' spiel for the twentieth time, Jazz hurriedly said, "He's an ally. Don't sweat it."

There was a moment of silence filled only with Bumblebee's seemingly enlightened 'ohhhh' filling the corridor.

"So he's an ally," Prowl said.

"Yep. Completely on our side. Checked his papers and everything."

A littler mech poked out from behind the 'ally'. "We brought papers?" He looked up at Jazz. "You checked them? When did you have time for that? We didn't have time for that."

Jazz aimed a not-so-subtle shush at the small blue mech.

"Right," Prowl said. "You checked their papers."

"Yep."

"And I guess those papers mentioned nothing about the Decepticon insignia on his chest?"

The white mech in question let out a sound that could have been a gasp. "Noooo waaaay, duuuuude," he drawled. "I had nooo ideaaaa!"

The small blue mech rolled his head around. "Sounders, never do that again."

Bumblebee scrambled to his feet, letting out a much more legitimate gasp of surprise. "You've been fraternizing with the enemy!" he cried out. "You've betrayed us all!"

Jazz held up his hands. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down there, 'Bee."

"Traitor! Usurper!"

"By the Allspark, just stop."

There was chaos and disorder in the corridor for precious minutes that simply could not be spent with such absurdities. But they were and it would be time they would regret spending in such ways, but that's simply the way the chronometer ticks. Ever forward.

"Hey, dudes."

The three Autobots, nearly coming to blows, stopped and looked at the mech known as Soundwave.

"Did any of you dudes consider that maybe I'm switching to your side?"

Bumblebee let out a 'huh' as Prowl nodded. "That makes sense," he said. "I'll be keeping an eye on you regardless."

It was still tense as they moved towards what was supposed to be the quarters of the crew, which also happened to be Earth's entire Autobot force.

"Man," 'Bee said. "These guys get a whole ship. Why can't we get a ship?"

"This thin' doesn't fly," Jazz said. "Not if the way it looks on the outside is any indication."

"It's still cooler than a garage."

They approached their supposed destination as a door hissed open and a pink femme stepped out. She turned the other way, then looked back towards them. Her face was set impossibly tight, anger and concern and something else lining her features.

"Arcee!" the small mech, whom was introduced as Frenzy, dashed forward to meet the femme. "Oh, do we have a story for you!"

"Where were you?" Arcee said, her tone curt and her voice hollow. "Ravage said he wasn't picking up your signal anymore." She paused. "At least, I think that's what he said."

"We, uh." Frenzy looked back at them, and Arcee's gaze followed.

And then she yelled out, jumped back into what must have been her quarters, and locked the door.

"Arcee!"

Frenzy banged his little fists on the door, ending with a few kicks after it was clear he wasn't making a dent. "What's wrong this time? We can fix it!"

"Why is he with you?" came a shout through the door.

Frenzy looked up at Soundwave, who shrugged. "Who's with us?" Frenzy asked.

"No! The last time I said it, I killed someone!"

Jazz rapped a fist on the door. "We haven't got anyone with us tha' shouldn't be," he said. "It's safe to come out, Arcee. He isn't here."

"No! I can't trust- ahhhh!"

The door opened with another hiss and Arcee threw herself out, knocking both her and Jazz into another undignified pile.

"Why," Jazz said.

Arcee just whined into his shoulder.

"Aah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, I swear!" a black and purple jet spoke, stepping out of the room. "I just wanted to ask you about the white Soundwave."

"Sup, my man," Soundwave said.

The jet looked up, seeming to go very still. "Hi," he squeaked out. "Gee, you're a tall drink of energon, huh? Oh. Geez, uh. Didn't think this through."

Arcee pushed herself off of Jazz and shoved at the jet. "Who the Pit do you think you are? Always coming into my room like a creep. I've got bigger things to handle right now!"

"I, uh, I-"

"Don't you have better things to do? Sweep the floors of the Nemesis or something trivial and mundane?"

"Why do you hurt me in such ways?"

Arcee paused. Skywarp looked dejected, like she'd kicked him or something. Oh Primus, he was doing the pouting, puppy-eyed face thing. What did she do to deserve this hell?

"Okay. Ignoring how awkward this is," Arcee said, noting everyone muttering in accord with that, "what are you really doing here?"

Skywarp looked around, and upon seeming to notice he was outnumbered by a stupid amount, submitted to his fate, teleportation or not. "I, uh, n-noticed that there was a white Soundwave last time I, uh, popped in-"

"Seriously, dude. Creepy."

"-and I thought I should investigate." He looked at her almost sheepishly. "You're, uh, not going to throw me in the brig, right? Because that doesn't really work."

"Yeah, plus we may have, uh, locked someone else up in there," Frenzy said. "Maybe."

Arcee looked down at him, then ran her hands down her face. "All right, everyone in my quarters for debriefing. Now."

Skywarp looked at her confusedly, pointing at himself. "Even me?"

"Did I stutter? Get. In. My quarters."

Scrambling to a proper military attention, he saluted her and shouted, "Yes, ma'am!" And then he ducked inside.

Arcee turned to the others, who stiffened before marching in themselves. "Should have done this eons ago," she muttered, closing the door after herself.


A/N: Some of you who have been following might not have been keeping track (or even forgot this existed). Considering our previous update was on July, 31st, in 2011, you wouldn't really be blamed. (For those of you that saw this on the front page and had no idea what they were getting into. Uh. Sorry?)

A lot of things have happened. There was the Navy (and then not the Navy) and then schooling forever which is still going on to this very day. It's been a long strange trip. TFU isn't finished or over, but considering it was conceptualized back in 2009 and originally published in 2010, we feel that we can do much better in both general storytelling and just less chaos and jokes that rely on breaking the fourth wall in general. This requires a revamp that will probably require a complete rewrite. For history's sake, this version will be left up for your (dis)pleasure. (We even finished the infamous chapter nine! Man, you have no idea.)

Even here you can see the style shift. We hope to release TFU as a more structured story that both you can enjoy reading, and we can enjoy writing and presenting to you. We apologize for the large gap in time in which we kinda stopped existing, but uh. Whaddaya gonna do?

We thank you for being on this trip with us, and we hope to see you in the new and improved TFU! (Which hopefully will not take another five years in the making.)

Yours always,

- Nightwing and Vex (TAD)