"No Time Like the Present"
Phil inhaled, then exhaled slowly. He wasn't sure how welcome he'd be, if the others knew about the break-up. But Fury had told him to go back to Johnny, and damned if Phil wasn't good at following orders. The orders he wanted to follow, that is. In this case, it had taken very little encouragement to send him straight back to the Baxter.
Reed and Susan were clearly still at the conference, and Ben had accompanied Alicia to her gallery opening, so it was possible that they were sleeping in. That was why it had just been Phil and Johnny in the kitchen only an hour ago.
And Johnny, it turned out, was still there.
He looked up when Phil coughed, and turned to face the door. His expression lifted, and Phil decided that he'd never seen anything more stunning in his whole life.
"Phil," Johnny said, and he climbed off the stool. "You're back."
"Yes. I—"
"Come on." Johnny grabbed Phil by the arm and dragged him to their— his bedroom. Phil frowned, wondering what Johnny had in mind. Had he forgotten about this morning?
"Johnny?"
"Look, I didn't even realise you were kissing me until you were nearly out the door," he said. "I couldn't think, or move, or say anything to stop you. So," he pushed Phil towards the bed. "I want a proper send-off, if you don't mind."
The words slowly processed in Phil's mind. "Johnny, it doesn't have to be—"
"I get that you don't want me anymore," Johnny said, interrupting again. "You don't need to explain. But I want more than just a not-memory of a kiss. Would you at least give me that?"
"Shush," Phil said, annoyed, and he caught Johnny's hands in his. "I'll tell you why, but this doesn't have to be a send-off. If you want me to leave after I explain, I'll leave, no questions asked, no entreaties."
"…You wanna retract the break-up?"
"I didn't even want to break up with you in the first place," Phil murmured, and he stroked Johnny's ear. He loved Johnny's ears. He loved everything about him, even his arrogance, his complete lack of a sense of self-preservation, his flirtatious and teasing manner. The whole package. "Can we sit down?"
Johnny nodded, and they perched on the side of the bed.
"Shoot," he said.
"Several months ago, I was tracking a mercenary named Hawkeye. He's an archer, and an assassin. I could see that he had potential as a field agent. He was only doing it to survive, not because he wanted to. There was some good in him, and I knew SHIELD could tap that. So… well, I shot him in the leg, because he's pretty damn good at getting away." He smiled when Johnny snickered. "He wasn't too happy about that. But he's proven a difficult case, going through handlers faster than any other agent. He needs to be with someone capable of… I don't like the word discipline, but supervision. I was the only one left to ask."
"So your boss told you to break it off with me, so you could concentrate on this kid?"
"No," Phil said, and he looked away for a moment. "I chose to… to—"
"Dump me."
"…Yes. I can't deny that. But hear me out. Please." Johnny was frowning, but he nodded. "Barton – his name is Clint Barton – will be a handful. I can see it. But he'll be worth it in the end. If I'm right, any team he's on will be the best. He's used to working alone, so it would have to be a small team. Just one or two other people, at most, and we'd have to work up to that. If we succeeded, and became the best team at SHIELD, we'd be sent off to remote places to undertake the most dangerous missions."
"And you worried that you'd… what, cheat on me?"
"What? Never!" Phil entwined his fingers with Johnny's. "I'd never do that to anyone, least of all you. But I'd never have enough time to see you. I wouldn't want you to feel lonely, and…"
"I wouldn't cheat on you, either," Johnny said softly. He let go of one hand, and cupped Phil's chin, tilting his head so their gazes could meet. "You're all mine."
"You still want me?"
"Yeah." Johnny kissed him gently. "So why'd you come back?"
"My boss said he'd take over Barton's case, and told me to come back to you. If ever there was an order I'd obey without question, this is it."
"What if your boss doesn't succeed?"
Phil sighed. "Barton has killed people. He'd either have to be imprisoned or executed."
Johnny sucked in a sharp breath. "That's harsh."
"It is. But we can't let him back into the world like this. Just for being on SHIELD premises for so long, even if he didn't know anything about us, there'd be a price on his head. No matter how good he is, he'd be dead within a fortnight, a month at the most, and it wouldn't be a pleasant way to go."
Johnny moved closer, right into Phil's personal space. "We can work around it. We'll see each other whenever we can. Or I could join SHIELD, and promise not to ask you questions about anything above my security clearance. I could help with his training."
"I was thinking about suggesting that he learn how to fly."
"There. You see?"
Phil rested his forehead against Johnny's, and laughed softly. "All right, all right. I'm sure Nick will be happy to let you on board. You know, I thought all this time that I was still supposed to be your liaison. It turns out he was just keeping me on here because he knew that I was happier with you… than I've ever been in my life."
"I don't wanna lose you, Phil. You said you loved me."
"I did?"
"Last night. You were nearly asleep, and you said you loved me. I think I love you, too, Phil."
"…I'm very glad to hear that, Johnny."
They stayed like that for a few more minutes. Then Johnny sighed through his nose, and raised his head.
"Enough talk," he said. "If I'm not getting break-up sex, I want get-back-together sex."
Phil laughed again, and allowed Johnny to tackle him onto the covers. Before they could start stripping, however, he cupped Johnny's cheek to get his attention.
"One more reason I thought a split would be best," he said.
"What's that?"
"Because… it only takes one mission going wrong. If I didn't come back… I didn't want you to go through that."
Johnny looked haunted, too haunted for someone his age. "Neither do I. So let's make the most of the time we have together, okay?"
To break the sombre mood, Phil lowered his head, and whispered directly into Johnny's ear, "And you always have the best ideas when it comes to making the most of time, don't you?"
With a slow grin, Johnny rolled Phil onto his back.
So much emotional stuff. When I start posting (I'm writing the whole story before I post) I'll most likely leave it a couple of days between chapters, just to give you a bit of a break from the schmoop. Unless you request otherwise.
Review, please!
