This one was originally called "Breaking Point" but I changed the name for publishing here. It's from Day 110 and the prompt was for April to see something of Steph's. I really love it, but also notes-wise I think it's a fave of everyone. I've been meaning to post it, but other one's felt more "right" to post in past weeks. After the preview for 11x10, this one feels SO right for this week, though. Ahhh, still have residual feels from that 1 second and will all week. PS: I fixed the changing sheets dilemma, if you remember it from the original post ;)
April squealed as Jackson picked her up and carried her over the threshold of his apartment. "Babe, we already did this part, remember?" she whispered in his ear and then kissed down his neck. They were heading straight for the bedroom, and she wouldn't have it any other way. They'd been driving for 14 hours straight, pretty much. The bags were safe in the car, they could wait.
"Oh did we? Everything before the sex is kind of a blur, to me. A wonderful blur of course."
She giggled as he threw her on the bed, pulling off her t-shirt and unclasping her bra so fast it was almost one motion. "Refresh my memory on the sex, Jackson, what did we do?"
"Ahh, do you really forget or do you just want me to talk dirty to you, April?" She blushed. They had a lot of work to do on her insecurities during sex. He took her red face as his answer "Well we didn't make it to the bed, that's for sure." He kissed down her stomach and undid the tie of her sweats, pulling them down.
"No, we didn't did we? What'd we do? Tell me." She shimmied away from him before he could get her underwear off, forcing him to get on the bed with her. She pulled off his shirt, kissing his shoulders, his face, his abs, his stomach, everywhere.
He pulled her close, so their bodies touched as he breathed in her ear. "Well, you immediately took your favorite position against the wall. But you didn't know it was your favorite then, you were just doing it so I had easy access to the tiny little buttons all the way down the sexy strapless wedding dress you bought. Just for me." He paused to kiss her. "Once I finally got it off, you wanted to turn to show me what you were wearing, and I asked you to wait because I wanted you to try new things, as my wife…"
"Stop, Jackson." April had caught sight of a bra at the end of the bed. But hers had fallen at Jackson's feet on the side.
"That's not what you said, sweet…"
"No, Jacks, stop. there's a bra, her bra…"
He pulled away, rushing off the bed to make the bra disappear. But April was already sitting up, t-shirt on. "I'm sorry babe, she…she stayed here the night before your…"
"… Wedding to Matthew." April bit her lip, sound barely coming out of her mouth. She couldn't look him in the eye.
"Hey, look at me, babe." He put his finger under her chin, forcing her to look up. "I am so lucky, that you chose to be my wife. I feel like the luckiest man in the world, thank you."
He pecked her lips, and she kissed him back, reluctantly. "You're welcome."
But he knew her. "What's wrong? April, talk to me."
"Her hair, it's all over the pillow, there."
Jackson gave a guilty shrug. "I never could figure out how in the world to get rid of all the hair…It's…" He cleared his throat. "It's probably all over this place. And her toothbrush is probably in my sink..Babe. I…I'm sorry. There was really no way around this, I guess."
April nodded in agreement, but was still pouting. "Did you have sex with her, the…the night before you…"
It was Jackson's turn not to be able to meet April's eyes. "Yeah, yup. I did." A tear fell down April's face. He looked up in time to wipe it away. "Hey sweetie. I didn't wake up that morning saying, 'I'm going to stop April's wedding today…' I had buried my feelings so deep that I didn't even know their full strength until I was standing up there, waiting for your reply, petrified you would say no and I…would be lost."
"I know, Jackson. I just…I can't…I can't make love to you in that bed."
"…Because of the hair? Babe I can.." He crawled over to the pillow in question and removed the clump of black hair. "I can, I can have the whole place cleaned by tomorrow."
"No, Jackson…I…I can't…I can't sleep with you in this bed." April stood up. "I…I know it's weird but…I'm sorry…It's just you loved her and, that's fine, but…"
"Hey. Listen to me. I've never been in love with anyone else in my life. You are the only person I have ever been in love with. That's the truth, OK? That's the reason why it took me so long to realize, I think. Do you believe me?
"Yes, I believe you. I do…I just, Jackson, I really don't want to sleep in this bed. I want to get a new bed…"
Jackson sighed. "I think that's really silly, April. But if you want to go to your place for awhile, until…"
"We can't. We can't stay at my place. There's too many…" She paused, unable to think of the right word. "…Reminders."
Jackson was losing his patience, slowly. "Alright, April. Well, there's reminders here and reminders there so you have to pick your poison. I can handle the reminders of him, so if you want to go…"
"Please don't do that, Jackson. Don't dismiss my feelings like that. I'm sorry…I can't help it…I…wish it didn't bother me. I know you did nothing wrong. I just wanna start new with you. I want to forget everything, and start new…" She fell into his arms, crying.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry April. What do you want to do, put blankets on the floor? The bed kind of makes it hard to…"
Then he got an idea. He ran to the closet and pulled out the sleeping bag his mom made him buy the one year she insisted they go on a family camping trip with Harper. One mosquito bite and she was back in the van in a heartbeat.
"You wanna sleep in this and tomorrow we can, figure out the bed thing. We have one more day at home. Is that ok?"
April ran after him, down the hall. "Yeah, but…where will you sleep, babe?"
Jackson sighed, exasperated. "I was gonna just sleep in the bed, April. It's a one person sleeping bag and I can't really spread out on the couch. I respect you're feelings but…"
"Seriously, on our third night married, you feel good about that choice?"
"No April," Jackson threw up his hands. "I want my wife to sleep in the bed with me. In fact, I'd have no problem picking up where we left off 15 minutes ago, but…"
"Fine honey, I understand. I respect your choice, as well. Goodnight. I love you." She kissed him, but there was a chill in her voice and stone in her eyes.
"I love you too, April," he said, as she crawled into the sleeping bag. "I don't really know what you want from me, here. I'll book us a hotel room tomorrow, if we can't get a bed in."
"Goodnight, Jackson." April yawned, and waited for his bedroom door to slam before she let more tears fall.
First, Jackson changed the sheets. He thought about asking her if that made any difference to her, but he knew deep down it wouldn't. Now the sheets weren't filled with sex ghosts, great. He should've changed them before he let her come in the room. But this was about something deeper, to her.
He tossed and turned in bed for five minutes before he realized what a jackass he was being. It might be a really uncomfortable night sleep, but of course he wanted to be next to her, or at least in the same room as her, every single night. That was essentially the point of marriage.
"Scoot over, you're tiny. I think I can fit in there, if you don't mind being squished a little," he said, startling her when he entered the living room.
"Seriously?" He heard her sniffle. "I think you're right, it's kinda small."
"Well then get up, I brought a comforter, just in case. And a sheet. And an extra blanket…are these…She's slept under these though, is that…But they're clean I promise..." The question was sincere. He honestly had no idea what April's breaking point was, exactly.
"Yeah, yeah, that's fine." She stood up, allowing him to create the makeshift bed.
"April, I'm sorry I….it took me a few minutes to cool off and understand, better," Jackson said when they were finally under covers. "I'm so sorry I made you cry. I was an idiot. Of course, I want to sleep wherever you are for the rest of our lives."
"That's good to know, but I did understand why you…I was honestly crying because…We have a lot of stuff to figure out, now. We can't just start where we left off, we're married, now. That's a big deal."
"I know. I'm a little scared too. But I'm gonna be here next to you."
She squeezed his hand under the covers. "You know what we can continue where we left off, though?" she whispered in his ear.
Jackson winced, wondering if he should just keep his mouth shut, but he couldn't help himself. "Uhhh April, I've…"
She cut him off. "Did you cuddle, after?"
"On the floor? Nope. No we never cuddled on the floor." They'd actually just moved into the kitchen, but Jackson was smart enough to keep that part to himself.
"Then, there's no problem." She rolled on top of him. At least he knew her breaking point, now. Actual intimacy.
"Babe?" He pulled away from a kiss. "We're gonna need all new couches, too…and we probably should just get rid of that chair in here, it's ugly right? Yeah."
"Very ugly, honey, but I don't think you should be allowed to talk anymore, tonight."
Jackson grinned. "Fine with me…I'm just gonna…" April pulled her t-shirt off again. "Yeah, I'll shut up, now."
Author's note: I have to add this note because I will defend this story to the death and I want to make some things clear.
1. The most random stupid things "inspire" me to post certain one shots every week. Yes, the bed scene at the end did inspire me. But also the fact that Jackson IS TRYING to care for April here. He's trying to understand, and failing...and getting frustrated. Just like 11x09.
2. OF COURSE STACKSON IS RELEVANT HERE. It's the day they got home from getting married and she sees Steph's bra in the Apartment. Of course it would be there, THEY NEVER BROKE UP! No matter what Jesse said. Just based on the timing in the prompt the fact that he was with Stephanie is VERY important.
That's all I have to say, really. I mean, normally I don't feel the need to put anything like this in my posts but...Yeah that's all. I hope most of you understood that.
