Sharpay has always had a temper. As long as she has been alive, she has been screaming, and as long as she could comprehend emotions, she has been stomping her foot and scowling and growing red with anger.
It's the only way she knows how to cope with adversity. She shouts and stomps until someone else solves her problem for her.
This time around, however, there is no one to solve her problem. There's no one who can make an expensive purchase or rearrange a song to accommodate it to Sharpay's needs and desires.
There's no one who can make these feelings go away.
Ever since the incident, Sharpay has been avoiding Gabriella, pretending that she doesn't exist. Instead of going back to her snide remarks and attempts to intimidate her, she feels like it's better to ignore her and hope that the problem will just go away.
And it's working.
Maybe Gabriella is equally avoiding her, equally afraid to face her, because she hasn't been nagging at her, just walking straight past her in the hallways, staying quiet during rehearsals, sitting with Taylor at lunch.
It should have been a relief, to have a break from Gabriella and her aggravating eagerness, to be able to pretend that she isn't falling apart, but she has to admit that she misses her.
It's become somewhat of a normal, to have Gabriella trailing beside her, trying to be her friend, and it feels quiet without her, as if something is missing.
Sharpay hates quiet and she hates not having everything she wants and needs.
So, in turn, Sharpay is compensating for the quiet. By yelling at every single person besides the one person she really wants to yell at.
"Why does it feel like I'm the only person who cares about this musical?!"
Sharpay is standing on stage, hand on her hip as her eyes slide over each and every single person – all except one – sitting in the auditorium with a vicious rage.
Darbus had to be absent today – something about a meeting with Principal Matsui and Coach Bolton that couldn't be rescheduled –, so as president of the drama club, Sharpay has taken over to lead the rehearsal and she has learned today that she is most definitely not cut out to be a teacher.
She's too angry, too frustrated to deal with everyone's complete incompetence, and she can't stand it that no one seems to be actually doing what she's telling them to do. She doesn't know if it's Darbus's absence or if everyone is just having a bad day, but every single person, from tech to band to actors, is continuously messing up and Sharpay is quickly starting to reach boiling point. As a teacher, as a leader, she should be accommodating and calmly correct people and teach them how to do their jobs properly. Instead, she just wants to throw some punches.
Nothing is going the way she wanted. Nothing is going the way she planned.
So, she does the one thing she knows how to do in these situations. She unleashes her temper.
"Well?!"
Every single one of her fellow students under her scrutiny are cowering, a look of genuine fear in their eyes, and while this normally would delight Sharpay, her desire for power is now trampled by her annoyance and her panic about her entire world crashing around her.
"Sharpay," Ryan speaks up, a slight tremble in his voice, "I think we're just all really tired. Why don't we just call it a day?"
"No," Sharpay barks immediately, scowling at her brother. "We need to get our crap together or else this musical is going to be a disaster and I refuse to let that happen."
Ryan opens his mouth again, but Sharpay raises her eyebrows at him menacingly, so he just sighs and sits back in his chair.
Then, her eyes roam the room, only to land on the one person she's been trying not to look at.
She's sitting next to Kelsi, slumping in her seat as she stares at the floor.
She looks just as miserable as Sharpay feels and Sharpay genuinely doesn't get it. She's not the one may have who caught feelings for someone she thought she hated. She's not the one whose life has completely been blown into a whirlwind because someone decided to audition and ruin all her plans.
Sharpay can't stand it, to see her like this. She wants Gabriella to speak up, to go against everything Sharpay wants. She wants a legitimate reason to hate Gabriella again, to realize that all of these feelings are silly and unnecessary, so she can look back at this in a few years and laugh.
She wants things to go back to the way they were, before all of this happened.
"Gabriella," she says, and she watches as Gabriella blinks and looks up with shock and curiosity.
She immediately knows it's a bad idea, though, as a spark runs through her at looking into those beautiful eyes again.
Ignoring the flutter in her stomach, Sharpay narrows her eyes at the girl, before smiling phonily. "You always have suggestions to improve the musical, don't you? Why don't you tell us what to do?"
Gabriella blinks again, before looking around at the expectant faces and looking back to Sharpay.
This is usually the point where that challenging glint appears in Gabriella's eyes, the one that riles Sharpay up, but instead, her gaze remains empty of any kind of fire or spark.
"I don't know," she says quietly, and Sharpay lets out a heavy breath and purses her lips in response. "I think Ryan may be right. We're all tired."
"Of course you don't know," she scoffs. "None of you do. None of you have any idea what to do. Idiots."
Shaking her head, she walks off the stage and moves towards the back where Gabriella is sitting in menacing strides.
However, she stops before she reaches Gabriella, bending down at the seat where Alan is sitting.
"You're up," she says lowly as she stares into his frightened eyes. "And I swear to god, if you stumble of your words one more time, I'm going to tear you up from limb to limb."
"Sharpay!" Ryan exclaims warningly and Sharpay rolls her eyes as she stands up again and motions for Alan to go.
As Alan scurries off to the stage, Sharpay turns back and raises her eyebrows at Gabriella one more time, challengingly, but Gabriella doesn't respond, just remaining quiet.
Sharpay hates the quiet. She hates this new normal where she and Gabriella ignore each other. She hates that she hates this new normal.
She hates that she can't solve this problem.
When Gabriella thought about the inevitable end of the truce with Sharpay, she thought that things would go back to the way they were, with Sharpay being rude and Gabriella fighting the injustice she causes.
Reality is much more brutal.
Sharpay is still lashing out, but not at her specifically – rather, she lashes out at everything and everyone besides Gabriella. Meanwhile, Gabriella doesn't know how to behave anymore, so she just remains quiet, miserable, out of place.
Normally, when Gabriella is this distraught, she would go up to the rooftop and just enjoy the fresh air and spectacular view. However, when rehearsal finishes – it was particularly brutal one with Sharpay at the helm –, she has no idea where to go or what to do.
Not only has she driven Sharpay away, but she has also driven Troy away.
Ever since the mishap the other day, Gabriella hasn't visited the rooftop anymore or even looked him in the eye, because she doesn't know what to do, how to act, whether she can even explain to him what is going on inside of her head.
Chaos, is the best word to describe it. How can she have feelings for two people, both so vastly different, and both so capable of breaking her heart?
So, as she hurries out of the auditorium, quickly waving at Kelsi, she decides that the only thing to do is go home and wallow in self-pity alone.
However, when she enters the hallway, she suddenly feels a strong hand on her arm and a spark shoot through her body.
"Gabriella."
Looking at who has grabbed a hold of her, her eyes double in size as she suddenly feels nauseous.
It's Troy. And he looks as if he's in agony.
She gulps as he releases her arm from his grip and they wordlessly move away from the door as not to stand in anyone's way or grab unwanted attention.
For a moment, they just stare at each other in silence, so many unspoken questions and apologies between them.
Gabriella bites her lip, feeling supremely awkward, before quietly saying, "Hi."
She rubs her hands along her arms in a gesture of anxiety, and Troy's eyebrows furrow in worry. "Are you cold?"
Gabriella almost wants to laugh at his genuine concern. He's so kind, even after she left him with such confusion. Why can't she just like him and only him? And why can't she just open her heart to him?
Because she always sets herself up for disappointment and pain, that's why.
Silently, she shakes her head in response to his question, and the awkward silence between them continues.
Troy is the one who eventually breaks it, and to take the plunge. With a pained frown, he asks her, "Did I misread the signs?"
Gabriella freezes. No, she wants to scream. None of this is his fault. All of this is due to her and her stupid feelings and her brain that's unwilling to shut up.
However, not a sound comes out.
"I mean, I thought our connection meant something more and I thought you felt the same and I'm so sorry if I misread that and freaked you out," he continues, and Gabriella blinks as she unfreezes, before shaking her head furiously.
"It's not your fault," she says, firmly as she takes a step closer to him. "It's my fault. I'm scared."
Troy's eyebrows rise slightly, and Gabriella feels a blush come on as she moves her the gaze to the ground, her voice growing soft and nervous as she continues, "I know it may not seem like it to you, but I'm not as brave as you seem to think I am. I'm just as terrified as you are of opening up myself."
As she looks back up, she expects disappointment on his face, but instead, there's a small, affectionate smile on his face.
"So it wasn't just me?"
Feeling a blush come on, she shakes her head. "No, not just you. I just don't know how to deal with this."
Furthermore, she doesn't know how to deal with the fact that there's two people she has to deal with.
At least there's only one person who may feel the same way.
"I'm sorry," she says, and Troy shakes his head as his grin only grows, the storm in his eyes disappearing and making way for that gorgeous light ocean blue.
Softly, tentatively placing a hand on her shoulder, he squeezes. "Don't be sorry. You know that I know what it's like to be scared. We'll figure it out together."
Together. She likes that.
Just as she smiles and leans in a little closer to him – although she leaves enough space between them, still afraid to get too close –, the moment suddenly crashes down around them as a body pushes into hers from behind.
Blinking, she turns around to see Sharpay, scowling at her.
"Oops!" Sharpay exclaims sarcastically, before shooting Troy a fake smile. "Hi, Bolton. What are you doing here?"
Troy's hands fly up to his neck awkwardly as his eyes flick back and forth between Gabriella and Sharpay. "I was just talking to Gabriella."
Sharpay hums in response, before turning back to Gabriella and Gabriella bites her lip under Sharpay's scrutinizing gaze.
Why does she see a speck of hurt in Sharpay's hazelnut eyes? How much of her and Troy's conversation did she hear? And if that's the reason why she looks so hurt, why would that hurt her?
Does she–? No, that's ridiculous. That's just wishful thinking. And why is she even wishing that Sharpay returns her feelings in the first place?
After a moment of intense eye contact, Sharpay shakes her head and scoffs. "Well, toodles."
Then, she turns to walk off, but before she can get far, Gabriella calls after her. "Sharpay!"
Sharpay turns around, raising her eyebrows expectantly, and Gabriella tucks a curl behind her ear nervously. She doesn't know what to say. She just wants Sharpay's attention.
So, she just says the first thing to come to mind.
"Do you still need tutoring?" she asks, and she inwardly berates herself for asking such a stupid question.
The answer is so clear.
Sharpay seems to think it's stupid as well, as she just stares at Gabriella incredulously for a moment.
"No, I'm good," she says curtly, before turning around and strutting off, Gabriella watching after her with a deep sigh.
"What was that about?" Troy asks once Sharpay is out of sight. "I thought you were getting along?"
Gabriella sighs. "It's complicated."
Complicated and confusing and painful.
She really needs to clear her head.
Troy nods slowly, not asking any further questions, before a knowing smile grows on his face. "Can I interest in you in a calming view from the rooftop?"
Gabriella giggles in response as she breaks out into a large beam. "That's exactly what I need."
Troy winks at her. "Race you?"
"You're on."
And, as they run away together, laughing loudly, Gabriella feels a weight drop from her shoulders.
She's still scared and her mind is still a mess and she misses Sharpay, but at least she hasn't lost Troy.
At least there's still someone out there for her.
It feels strange to be having lunch with Taylor.
It's not like she hasn't had lunch with Taylor since she befriended Sharpay, but those were different circumstances. When she divided her attention between Taylor and her friends from drama club, she was actually spending time with Taylor solely because she enjoyed her company.
Now she's also having lunch with Taylor because there's no attention to divide anymore.
"So, what happened between you and Sharpay?" Taylor asks casually as she picks a piece of tuna off her plate and Gabriella sighs as she moves her gaze away from the table upstairs to her friend.
"Nothing happened. Why do you think it did?"
Taylor lets out a laugh and shakes her head. "I know you, Gabriella. You've been quiet for days now and you keep staring at her longingly."
This makes Gabriella turn a dark shade of red as she almost chokes on her food.
"I'm not longing for her," she splutters. "I'm not longing for anyone."
Still, she can't keep her gaze from flicking up for a second, which obviously doesn't go unnoticed by Taylor, who just scoffs.
"You don't think I haven't noticed you looking up constantly? Or the fact that you've been staring at the back of her head during homeroom instead of paying attention?"
Gabriella continues blushing as she looks down at her plate, unsure of what to say.
Of course Taylor is right. Of course she is longing. It's just that no one knows to which extent she longs.
It's not a longing for a friendship or a truce, it's a longing for something more.
No one can ever know.
"Look, I won't say I told you so, but I can't say that I'm surprised that something happened between you two," Taylor continues. "That girl is a snake. I still don't get why you wanted to get along with her in the first place, after how horrible she has been to you."
"She's not that bad," Gabriella mumbles, and Taylor scoffs again.
"Gabriella, I was there when you accidentally spilled your lunch on her. I was there when she spent a week throwing constant temper tantrums after you got a role in the musical. I've also seen the way she tramples all over her own brother and that composer girl. She's rude and spoilt and selfish. How can you not see that?"
Gabriella shrugs. "I just think she's misunderstood. There's more to her than just the bad. She's pretty cool once you get to know her."
"If she's so cool, then why aren't you hanging with her anymore?" Taylor retorts, and Gabriella bites her lip as she frowns, flashes of that afternoon when everything went wrong appearing before her eyes.
Taylor would never understand.
As Gabriella remains quiet, Taylor rolls her eyes. "See? That's what I mean. She's a terrible person and she's incapable of change."
"Taylor, will you just stop?!" Gabriella exclaims, a little more loudly than intended, before gulping and looking back again. "You don't know her. Yeah, she's a little snobby and a little rude, but she isn't some demon like you're making her out to be. She has actually helped me a lot."
Taylor's eyebrows furrow as she stares at Gabriella incredulously, a little suspiciously. "Why do you keep defending her?"
Gabriella shrugs again. "I like her."
A lot more than Taylor would ever know.
Taylor sighs as she shakes her head, before looking up at Sharpay, Ryan and Kelsi's table. "Well, she obviously doesn't like you."
A little more softly, more gently, she continues, "I think it's admirable that you want to see the good in people, but you can't change people and turn them into someone they aren't."
Gabriella sighs as she looks up too. Maybe Taylor is right. Maybe she has been trying too hard to get Sharpay to like her. Of course she hasn't wanted to change who Sharpay is, but somewhere along the line, maybe she has conjured up an image of Sharpay that isn't true to reality. Maybe she has been so desperate to show that she's different that she has made her believe that Sharpay is different, too.
Maybe she has been trying too hard to be different. She has been going through such trials and tribulations the past couple of months and if it continues this way, it's never going to pay off.
Maybe she's not as different as she thought. Maybe she has always been meant to be a loser, an outsider, whether she's in the musical or in the scholastic decathlon. Maybe being in the musical isn't as worth it as she once thought.
She's always going to be an outsider, a threat to Sharpay. She's always going to have to fight.
She's tired of fighting. Fighting Sharpay, fighting Taylor, fighting her feelings, fighting for herself. She's tired of all of this.
She's tired of being different.
"How's the scholastic decathlon going?" she asks, changing the subject, and Taylor suddenly lights up as she starts rambling about the comings and goings of the club, Gabriella nodding and smiling along, even though she's not really listening.
"I know you're busy with the musical, but you really should join!" Taylor ends her ramble, and Gabriella bites her lip as she contemplates that.
Deep down, she knows that the scholastic decathlon isn't for her anymore, and that she wants to continue to be in the musical.
But she can't continue on like this anymore.
So, with a forced smile, she says, "Maybe."
Maybe she should just accept her fate. Maybe she should just accept that nothing is ever going to change.
