WOO its been a while, oh god a long while, and I'm so sorry guys, I could go on forever saying how sorry I am, but I've had SO much on, and I hope you guys understand that its been hard to for me to update at all. Anyway, please keep the really nice reviews coming! You guys are the best PEACE #
Stevie's POV
Beep. Beep. Beep.
I flutter open my previously closed eyelids, as a blinding that could easily be perceived as god hung above me. I squinted at first, but soon adjusted to it.
I feel like I had the best sleep of my life. I dreamt of telling my mother about me and Zander, of her being happy for me, of me and Zander actually having a life together. We would have kids, a house, a car…
Car.
I remember the force of impact as a flash of memory temporarily appears in front of me. I gasp, but it soon disappears. I look around me at last, and realize that I must be in a hospital.
My breathing becomes quicker and heavier, and I hear the beeping on my left getting quicker and louder. A nurse comes rushing in, hair flicking around in a ponytail behind her.
"She's hyperventilating! Get me a read on her pulse rate, I think she's panicking." She turns to me after shouting through the door and her eyes widen. "She's awake." She says quietly, in disbelief. "She's awake!" This time she shouts it out to the people in the room next door.
I start to slow down, but my chest still aches. The nurse touches my shoulder, and tries to calm me down. "Honey, you need to settle down, you've been asleep for a while now. 3 days-"
"Where is he? Zan – Zander – where's Zan-" My breathing picks up again as he crosses my mind.
"Your partner is outside, and I expect he'll be happy to see that you're conscious again." She continues. "He hasn't left the hospital since you got here. He's been sleeping in the waiting room. Said you'd 'feel his presence'."
Well, he was right. My breathing slows down completely, and I rest my head once more.
"What about my mother? Can I see her?"
The nurse goes to say something, but has a double take and goes on. "Not right now, you'll be able to see your mother soon." She begins unplugging a bunch of machines. "But we've already ran the tests that we needed to, so soon you'll be able to go home."
This makes me smile, at the thought of seeing everyone that would have been worried about me. Kacey. Nelson. Kevin. My mother. My father. Zander.
*5 mins later*
This hospital gown feels empty, freeing. Unlike the tight clothes that mother makes me wear to show of my 'curves'. But these clothes, they help me feel me. But not quite me at the same time.
I walk slowly down the corridor, the nurse at my side with the other nurses helping me walk. Though I still needed to run through some things, I insisted they let me out to see Zander.
We get to the waiting room, and I see a few unrecognizable faces. But one that I could never mistake.
His hair is scruffled, and his grey t-shirt is slightly crumpled and creased on the front, from lying on it, no doubt. In his hands, he holds a bouquet of daisies. However, beneath his feet, you can see the wilted daisy petals that fell off from lack of sun and water.
"Sir. Someone's here to see you." The nurse smiles at him, before stepping back slightly.
He lifts his head, a few raven curls falling onto the top of his forehead, his eyes tired and worried. They widen when he sees me. His mouth opens, speechless. He stands up, still not finding the words.
"Stevie…" his hoarse voice whispers. I smile and nod.
A smile slowly spreads across his face, and the wilting bouquet falls to the ground. He starts walking towards, and I him. It soon turns to a desperate run, both of us hungering for the feel of each other. He reaches me and wraps his arms around my waist, lifting me up and spinning me around, as I bury my face into his shoulder. I feel the warm tears from my eyes fall onto his shoulder and smudge across my face.
"You're back." He says, holding back tears, as he stops spinning and strokes my hair.
"Yeah…" I smile into his shirt. "I missed you."
He pulls away, to my disappointment. But he cups my face in his hands, despite the curious eyes lain upon us, and brings me in for a kiss. It's long, sweet, and passionate. The feeling of his lips is foreign, yet so familiar.
We pull away and lean our foreheads together, our faces inches apart.
My hands still around Zander, I turn back to the nurses.
"Can I see my mother now?"
…
"Not right now, you'll be able to see your mother soon."
True. I just never thought I'd see her like this.
I slowly walk forward, white lilies covered in tear drops in my hands. My black dress trails along the dirt, my pulse accelerating at an alarming pace.
I reach the grave, coffin standing motionless beside, simply waiting for its destiny. The men lift it, placing it slowly into the open grave. I tear my eyes, for I know that if I don't I will surely curl into a ball and cry, until nothing is left to cry over. I read the tombstone above her.
Bethany Baskara
Loving wife and mother.
She really wasn't either of those things. She was never loving, she was worried. Worried that the people she held close to her heart, but never loved, would leave her. Worried of what others thought of her and us. It was her worrying that brought her down.
She never loved, but she tried.
I finally find the strength to kneel down, and place the flowers onto her lowered coffin. I step away as soon as possible, as my hands fumble behind me, searching for Zander's.
I find them and they squeeze mine, lovingly, and I nearly fall back into his arms. He holds me so tight, I can nearly feel his heart beating in my ears. He places his chin on top of my head and kisses the same spot.
I can't hold them back anymore. I cry into Zander's blazer, sobs muffled by the cool leather.
I've cried many times over the last few months. When Zander told me about his parents, when Grace left to go live with dad last week, when I found out that my unforgiving, brutal and passionate mother, whom I had loved, was dead. This was by far the easiest time for me to cry.
We soon start the precession. We all slowly walk back to the church, hand in hand with who ever we could hold. Kacey with Kevin, Grace with Nelson, my father with the old lady who sold scarves outside the city hall. Me with Zander.
I turn to him, face filled with sadness and dread.
"Where do I go now?"
He looks at me, his expression mimicking mine as he begins to tear up too.
"I don't know." He pulls me in tighter by the shoulder. "But I love you Stevie, and I'm never going to leave you. Not till the day I die."
I love him. God, I love him so much.
I hope you understand now mother. Wherever you are. Heaven or hell, you'll always be my guardian angel.
