Chapter 9
"Kate?" His voice was small and scared.
"Yes, angel?" She wasn't sure where this new pet name had come from, but at the moment, she also didn't really care. He seemed to like it, and if it helped him in any small way, she was willing to do it.
"Kate, I can't see you," he said, sounding panicky. Her breath caught in her throat. Oh, god...
"What do you mean, baby?" she asked.
"I can't see you, you're all fuzzy," he said.
"Rick, baby, I need you to listen to me, alright? I need you to focus, can you do that?"
"Focus on what?" he inquired.
"On staying awake and taking slow, deep breaths," she instructed patiently.
"I just want to sleep," he mumbled.
"No, Rick," she said. "No. Listen, I know you're sleepy, I know you're in pain, and I know you just want this to be over. But I can't lose you, okay? I need you to hang on for me. Just a little bit longer, angel. Not long, sweetie. Can you do that, Castle? For me?" The ghost of a smile flickered across his face.
"For you...anything for you, Kate." She bent down and kissed his head.
"Stay with me, Rick, please stay with me. I need you in my life, Richard Castle, you hear me?" Her voice was wavering as she spoke, quietly and as calmly as she could to him.
"Mmm," he groaned, squeezing her hand. "Hurts, KAte. Hurts a lot. Too much." She soothed him quietly, almost mindlessly.
"I don't want to die, Kate," he said.
"Hey," she murmured. "Shhh. Don't, Castle. It's not over yet, not yet."
"Close, though."
"No, no, no, don't. Rick, please. Please. Shhh."
And then Rachel called.
"Rachel, please tell me you have that antidote," Kate said as she picked up the phone.
"We do," Rachel confirmed. "We're on our way back there now."
"Hurry," was all that Kate could say.
"How is he?"
"Rachel, just hurry," she repeated tersely.
"That bad, huh?"
"Worse."
"Okay, we're coming. We'll be there soon."
"Kate,"Rick mumbled.
"Go," said Rachel. They hung up and Kate turned her attention back to Castle.
"They have the antidote, Rick, they'll be here soon," she assured him.
"Kate, I...I can't breathe." Kate's heart stumbled in her chest. Oh, god. He didn't have long. Please, Rachel, please hurry.
"Here," she said quietly. She gently helped him sit up, supporting a good majority of his weight.
"Rick, look at me," she pleaded. His eyes met hers. "I know it hurts, baby. But you have to hold on for me, remember? Just focus on breathing, nice and slow, okay?"
"I love you," he murmured.
"I love you, too," Kate whispered. "You're doing great, sweetie, just a little longer."
"I like when you call me things like that," he whispered. She ran her fingers through his hair gently, brushing sweaty strands off of his skin.
"Things like what?" she asked.
"Angel, baby, sweetie."
"Oh. You like that, hmm?"
"Yeah."
"Well then maybe when you're feeling better you can convince me not to stop," she suggested.
"Mmm 'kay," he murmured. "Ow," he added.
"What?"
"Head again. Like it's all taking turns. Head, stomach, chest, legs, back to head again."
"I'm sorry."
"Cold," he said. "I'm so cold, Kate. Cuddle with me?" She wasn't sure if he was bordering on delirium or just seeking comfort. Either way, she allowed him to curl up in her side, his head nestled in the crook of her neck. She drew the blankets snug around his shoulders, cradling him close to her. He was shaking and he was starting to cry again. Kate's heart was shattering into a million tiny little pieces.
"It's okay, baby, I'm here," she mumbled. "I'm right here, I've got you."
"Kate." It seemed to be all he could say.
"Shhh, just breathe, angel."
"Kate, my head," he muttered. "Spinning."
"Just hang on, Rick, please angel, just hang on for me, I promise not much longer, sweetie. You can do it, Castle, I know you can. Just a few more minutes." She looked him in the eye and what she saw there scared her to no end. Blankness. No sparkle, no fear. Nothing. And then he fell limp in her arms, unconscious.
