Chapter 9
Rainpaw had a difficult time falling asleep. She was too nervous to sleep. Thoughts about leaving RiverClan, leaving her mother, worried the apprentice. Did she truly not belong in RiverClan? Was running away from home cowardly? Would ThunderClan even accept her? These questions burned through Rainpaw's mind all night long. Restless, she finally got up out of her nest, and sat just outside the medicine cats' den.
Do I belong in ThunderClan? Maybe I could be the next RiverClan medicine cat here, Rainpaw wondered, staring up at the starry sky. No. That can't be the solution. Surely Bluestar wouldn't have come to me if I was meant to be RiverClan's medicine cat. I must belong somewhere else.
The sun was just beginning to rise, the stars slowly fading. Rainpaw sighed, knowing this was the last morning she would spend in RiverClan. Even if ThunderClan would not accept her, she would not return to her mother's Clan. Rainpaw knew she could not live here any longer. She felt it in her paws, a tugging sensation that pulled her thoughts to what life could be like. Rainpaw noticed the fading stars in the sky beginning to swirl around slowly. The stars began to show images of the future. Rainpaw saw cats on the hunt, climbing trees to catch an evasive squirrel, pouncing on a pile of leaves for a fat mouse. She saw a patrol of cats moving through a land with trees in abundance. Rainpaw recognized a dark gray she-cat leading the patrol. She looks just like me, Rainpaw thought before realizing the cat was her.
As quickly as the images had appeared, they vanished from the sky. Rainpaw was left staring at pale yellow light covering the RiverClan camp. She knew what the images had meant, for they were sent by StarClan itself. She was meant to live in ThunderClan, and she would be an asset to the Clan that adopted her.
As sunhigh approached, Rainpaw grew more nervous. RiverClan was up and about now, the camp in the usual hustle and bustle as daily business went on as usual. They think today is a day like any other. They don't know that I'm leaving forever, Rainpaw realized.
No cat noticed as Rainpaw left camp. It had been a long time since any cat had noticed her, except for Willowshine, Hollowflight, and Mistystar. The three of them did not see Rainpaw quietly leave the camp. Part of her felt guilty. She hadn't told her mother she was leaving. Rainpaw couldn't bear to tell Willowshine good-bye. She couldn't break her mother's heart like that.
Slowly, Rainpaw made her way to the ThunderClan border. She had to cross through ShadowClan territory to get there, but all was quiet on the lakeshore. When Rainpaw got to the border, doubt clouded her mind. Jayfeather isn't going to come. He won't want to meet me here, Rainpaw thought miserably, sitting on the pebbles by the water's edge.
After what seemed like moons, Rainpaw saw a gray shape moving in the corner of her eye. The gray shape moved along the lake shore, growing bigger as it got closer to her. Realizing that Jayfeather had come after all, Rainpaw felt a flood of relief fill her heart. Surely if he was willing to meet her, that was a good thing?
"You came," Rainpaw meowed softly as Jayfeather reached her.
The ThunderClan can looked far from pleased to meet his daughter again. "I'm here. Now what do you want?" he growled.
"To live with you in ThunderClan," Rainpaw replied, wasting no time getting to the point.
Shock filled Jayfeather's sightless blue eyes. "What? Why? Is something wrong in RiverClan?" He didn't sound as if he thought it was a good idea.
"I don't belong there. I can't fish, I hate the taste of fish, I hate swimming, my mentor thinks I'm useless," Rainpaw listed her many RiverClan problems.
Jayfeather shrugged, as if he didn't care about what his daughter was going through. "If your mentor doesn't like you, that's your fault. It doesn't sound like you're trying very hard."
"But I am trying! I practice fishing every day and I try to swim, but I hate the feel of water on my fur," Rainpaw said, defending herself.
"That's not my problem. Unless something is wrong in RiverClan, we're done here," Jayfeather meowed, turning away from his daughter.
Rainpaw darted in front of him, preventing Jayfeather from walking away from the dark gray she-cat. "I want to join ThunderClan," she hissed.
"Well, you can't," Jayfeather spat back to her. "You are a RiverClan cat. Now go home!"
"RiverClan is not my home anymore. I'm never going back there, and you can't make me!" Rainpaw growled.
"I'll take you back there myself if I have to. You are not coming to ThunderClan with me and that is final!" Jayfeather tried to stomp away, but Rainpaw blocked him, rage building up inside of her.
"I would think you'd be happy to have your daughter with you!" she hissed.
Jayfeather's eyes widened, flashing fire. "You are not my daughter! I have no obligation to take you to ThunderClan and you have no right to say you belong there!"
"Why are you still lying? The whole island knows the truth. Whether you like it or not, I am your daughter. You have three kits- two she-cats and a tom. You cannot just pretend we don't exist. We are your children," Rainpaw mewed, lashing her tail in ager.
Jayfeather shook his head, the fury in his eyes beginning to die down. "I gave up my right to call the three of you my children long ago," he whispered, staring down at his paws.
"But you can change, Jayfeather. I'm still your daughter. Tansyleaf and Stoneclaw are still your kits. You can make things right."
Surprise filled Jayfeather's eyes. "Your brother and sister were made warriors?"
Rainpaw nodded, sadly. "Yes, they've been warriors for a moon already."
"Why aren't you a warrior then?"
"That's what I've been trying to tell you, Jayfeather! I can't be a RiverClan warrior. Hollowflight even asked Mistystar if he could stop training me! I have no place in RiverClan," Rainpaw sighed.
Jayfeather shook his head. "But you could help Willowshine or be a queen. There are more places in a Clan than just for warriors."
Rainpaw disagreed. "I have no home with RiverClan. I've run away, and I'm not ever going back. I want to be a warrior, but with a Clan I can be part of. RiverClan is not that Clan."
"That doesn't mean you run away. You can't just hide from your problems, Rainpaw," Jayfeather growled.
Rainpaw was not to be put down. "Isn't that what you're doing? Aren't you hiding from your problems? Are you still going to say that I am not your kit and that you have no kits in RiverClan? It sounds like you're hiding you problems to me."
Jayfeather, dumbfounded by Rainpaw's words, sat down on the pebbles. "I know you are my kit now. I always knew, but you're right. I can't pretend that you don't exist. Perhaps I am the one hiding from my problems," he sighed.
"I am half ThunderClan. I wasn't born with RiverClan skills, but maybe I was born to be in ThunderClan."
Jayfeather nodded, sadly. "I suppose you're right," he meowed.
Rainpaw brightened. "Please take me to your camp. I want to be part of ThunderClan."
"If Bramblestar will allow you to join. And don't expect me to suddenly love you- I'm still not comfortable with being a father yet."
The dark gray apprentice was filled with joy. Her plan had worked! "Oh, Jayfeather, thank you! I'll be the best ThunderClan warrior Bramblestar has ever seen. I promise!"
(Revision date- February 26, 2014)
