"Mr. Hunter," the older man said, opening the door to allow the well-toned writer into his small but familiar home. Stepping to the side, he smiled brightly at the woman in tow, her hair pulled back in a braid similar to the one she wore the first day of school all those years ago. "Ms. Lawrence."
"It's Mrs. Matthews now," she corrected him politely, earning a harsh glance from Shawn. Topanga tried to hide her discomfort as she took a seat on the floral print couch in the formal living room. Shawn flanked her left side while Mr. Feeny selected the hand-carved rocking hair across from them. "How are you feeling? I'm sorry that it's been such a long time since I've come to visit. Work has been busy."
"So I hear," he said with a gentle smile. "I'm feeling fine. I've finally decided to retire at the end of the year so that the Dean and I can travel. We've taken an interest in antiques and plan to traverse much of the Northeast in search of some fine furnishings."
"That sounds lovely," she replied before leaning back against the couch. She could feel Shawn's hand resting on the small of her back, such a small but well-defined gesture. They both knew that it had more meaning than it should. Shifting slightly so that she could no longer feel his skin against her body, she avoided the sidelong look he was giving her. "I suppose you know what has brought us here."
"Cory came to see me this morning. I'm well aware of the situation. I must say, I'm rather disappointed in both of you. I never thought that something like this would happen between you, Shawn."
"Neither did I, sir," he admitted respectfully. "I'm truly sorry that my actions have hurt both Cory and Angela, but I can't apologize for what I've done. I don't regret my decisions. I have accepted responsibility for this. I can't feign innocence when I have chosen to pursue and maintain my affair with Topanga."
"This really isn't any of my business, but Cory came to me, clearly confused and hurt. I think he wanted me to tell him what to do or to give him a reason this all happened. I know that things happen in life sometimes that we can't explain or take back. Maybe this is one of those things for both of you."
Shawn raked his fingers through his hair, hating the distance that was now between him and Topanga. There was nothing he could say to Mr. Feeny that the man didn't already know. "We came by here to see if we could stay. I know it's asking a lot all things considered, but we don't really have any other choice outside a hotel. If you can't, we understand."
"I'm sorry," Mr. Feeny apologized, looking from Shawn to Topanga. "Under ordinary circumstances, I would be happy to open my home to you, but unfortunately, I already have house guests coming in. I'm afraid you will have to find somewhere else."
"Oh, you do? Is Angela staying here?" Topanga asked innocently.
Mr. Feeny looked down at his hands and shook his head. "She is staying next door with the Matthews. Actually, Eric called earlier this afternoon to see if Rachel and Jack could stay with us. They're all coming for a visit, and there's just not enough room next door with Morgan and the others all home."
"There's no room for us anywhere," Shawn said hollowly to Topanga. They were quickly becoming an island of themselves. There was something going on inside his head, but he couldn't put into words. It was an emptiness that he couldn't explain but one he knew he would forever have to live with. There was nothing anyone could do to make it easier for him; he just needed time. Well, time and Topanga.
She stood up suddenly and stepped forward to brush a chaste kiss on Mr. Feeny's cheek. "I have to go see him now," she announced to no one in particular. "It's time."
Shawn stayed behind as she left, watching her tense back as she retreated through the side door toward the Matthews house. He could see her pause outside their kitchen, bringing her hand up time and time again to knock, but she couldn't quite do it. "She can't do it," he told Mr. Feeny, who was also gazing over at the white house. "Maybe I should be the first one t go over there."
"Mr. Hunter, you know that Cory is not going to be able to forgive her for this," the teacher said. "I never I thought that I would see the day when the three of you would be at such a crossroads, but it has come. I expected it from you, but I'm surprised that she would do this to her husband and former best friend."
"You expected this from me?" he asked incredulously. "How can you say that? Cory is the one person I have always been loyal to."
"Exactly," Mr. Feeny replied. "Cory is the one person who has never abandoned you. You have made it your life's work to push away everyone that has ever truly cared about you. You did with Angela, Jack, Jon Turner…everyone else had been on the end of Shawn Hunter's rampage except Cory. Well, congratulations, Mr. Hunter, you've managed to alienate your best friend. You're all alone."
"I'm not alone," he shot back. "I still have Topanga."
He looked past Shawn forlornly at the beautiful woman. "Are you really sure about that?"
Topanga felt so restless as she stood outside the Matthews kitchen, peering through the window at the family spread around the round table. It was a familiar sight, and she had been a part of that picture more times than she could count. Her place had always been between Cory and Morgan, a spot now filled by Angela. They were laughing and talking animatedly while eating pizza from the family's favorite place in the city.
She noticed how close Angela's chair was to Cory's, the way he would touch her arm when he said something to her or how she'd fill his cup when it was empty. It was hard to see someone take her place so easily, so effortlessly. Just as she was about to reach up and finally knock, someone caught her eye from inside. Amy looked at her daughter-in-law inauspiciously before leaning over to murmur something in her husband's ear. Alan glanced up as well, his face immediately crumpling into a tight frown. Within seconds, Joshua, Morgan and Angela had followed his gaze toward the driveway. Cory was the last to look up.
Cory glanced over at Angela. "I guess the party has finally arrived," he mumbled before standing up. Dropping his napkin in his chair, he turned back and glanced at his wife. "I'll be right back," he told his family.
"We'll save you a piece of chocolate pie," Angela promised him, grabbing his hand as he passed by. Cory squeezed her fingers in a sign of understanding.
"Actually," Amy announced, "why don't we take this into the living room so that you can invite Topanga in? You two shouldn't have to do this in the driveway. We'll give you some privacy."
"Thanks, Mom," he said, helping his parents wrangle the food into the living room. Before disappearing out of the kitchen, he waved his hand, permitting Topanga to enter. "I'll be right back."
In the living room, Alan quickly cleared off the table and made room for the family to finish the meal. Morgan distracted Joshua, all the while wondering what was going on. She had always hated being the youngest because no one had ever told her what was up. Now in college, she thought she should qualify to be in the loop, but apparently not. Her brothers had always wanted to protect her. As Joshua chirped on and on about the soccer game, she brought her focus back to the youngest member of the family and soon fell easily into a conversation with her parents.
Cory stood outside the kitchen door, watching over his family with a wide smile. Angela looked up, surprised to still see him in the room. "Why are you still here?" she asked as she sidled up next to him. Following his eyes toward the members of the Matthews family scattered on the floor, she understood. "She can't take this away from you."
He nodded knowingly before slipping his arm around her shoulders. "I just realized that I still have so much, even if I don't have her. Today has been a truly great day, and I just wanted to enjoy this moment. I wanted to cement it in my mind for when I fall back into the darkness."
"Come with me," she ordered, pulling him up the staircase. Silently, he followed her down the hallway until they were at the other set of stairs that led to the kitchen. Leaning against the wall, she looked over at him finally. "I'm not going to let you fall back into the darkness. I promised you that I was going to help you get through this and I meant it."
"I have to go down there and try to figure this all out. Do you know how much I don't want to do that? I was hoping that she would just give up and that I could go on without her. I wanted to enjoy my time with my family and with you, but she had to go and ruin that. Topanga used to know me better than anyone, and if she still knew me, she would know that the last thing I want to do right now is see her."
"She's not thinking about you right now, Cor, she's thinking about herself. She knows the mistake she made, and she is ready to fight like hell to make it right," Angela explained. "What you need to remember is that she can't make you do anything you don't want to do. You are the one in control of your life now. For the first time in as long as I have known you, you need to make the choice that is best for you, not for her."
He hated that she knew him so well because he couldn't deny that he'd never put himself first. She grinned as if she could read his mind before wrapping her arms around him. Running his hands down her back, he wanted to stay like that forever, but he knew that he couldn't. He had to go face his real life. "Alright, I'm going to go do this now, and when I'm finished, I want to take our friends for drinks. Eric should be here with Rachel and Jack any minute. The five of us deserve a little reunion over some alcohol after all this time."
"Sounds perfect," she assured him. Impulsively, she lunged forward and kissed him briefly. Cory closed his eyes and he drew her back to him. They didn't kiss again; he just wanted to hold her. Forehead against forehead, he could feel her eyelashes flutter against his cheek as she closed her eyes as well. Their breaths fell into unison to create the only sound in the air. Finally, breaking the spell, Angela turned away from him with frustration. "Why do I keep doing this to you? It's not fair."
"It's more than fair," he avowed. "It's what I want." She smiled at him faintly and traced her hand down his cheek. "We'll talk about this later. Right now, I have to go downstairs and talk to her."
"I know," Angela said, following him down the stairs. When they reached the kitchen, she couldn't help but feel the mean girl in her come out just a little. Topanga deserved a small taste of her own medicine. "I'm going to go upstairs and take a shower. I'll be waiting for you in our room when you get done."
Cory bit his lip to stifle a hearty chuckle that was fighting to escape from his lungs. With a sly smile, Angela swept through the kitchen and into the living room. Pulling out an empty chair for his wife, he sat down opposite from her. "Well, go ahead. Why are you here?"
For the first time since Cory had found her with Shawn, he didn't seem angry and she'd didn't feel like crying. Instead, he looked apathetic, and she felt numb. "I came here to tell you why I slept with Shawn. You asked me to tell you, but I didn't know then. I have an answer now."
"Tell me."
"I slept with Shawn because he wasn't you," she said simply. "Our entire lives are entwined, Cory, so much that everything you have ever wanted, I've wanted, too. And I know that the feeling has been mutual; you gave up your life here for me. But there was one thing you wanted that I couldn't give you. I couldn't give you children."
"I told you that if all we ever had was each other, I would be okay with that, Topanga. You are the one who decided for me what I wanted and didn't want. Sure, I wanted to have children with you, but I wanted to be your husband more. If you had bothered to talk to me, you would have figured that out."
"So, you and Angela seem close," she ventured as she stood up and headed over to the kitchen. Automatically, she pulled her cup from the cabinet and filled it with lemonade from a glass pitcher. It was a tall tumbler in a light pink hue. Amy had added it to the shelf where she kept the rest of the color-coded glasses for the rest of the family.
"We are," he confirmed noncommittally, not offering another details. "So, where are you two staying? I mean, I am assuming that Shawn is in town. My guess is that he's next door with Mr. Feeny. I'm sure you've already heard there's no room at the inn."
"He said Rachel and Jack are coming down with Eric. It will be nice for you all to be together again," she replied vaguely. She was hoping that somehow, he would find it in his heart to invite her. When he didn't say anything in return, she knew that it wasn't likely. "I know that you don't really want to see me, but maybe we could have lunch or something. We could go to Chubby's and have a clown burger. You used to collect the hats."
He thought about his old hobby and how different life had been in those days. "I used to do a lot of things," he told her sadly before walking toward the door. Opening it, he waited for her to grab her purse and pass him. On her way by, Topanga stopped and pressed a soft kiss on his cheek. As she walked out the door, his eyes drifted over to the fence. He could see Shawn staring back at him.
Behind him, he could hear someone come into the room and as the faint scent of cinnamon passed by him, he knew that it was Angela. She slipped next to him, immediately wrapping her arm around his waist. He turned and looked at her, clad in a stark white sundress. "He's over there," he said softly, smiling down at her. He enjoyed the little show he knew she was putting on for Shawn's benefit. She'd struck both of them in the place where she knew it would hurt the most.
"I know," she whispered, turning so that her body was flush against his. Snaking her arms around his neck, her slender fingers moved up to play with his curls. Cory rested his hands on her hips, his thumbs spanning her slim waistline. "You really want to make him mad? You could kiss me."
"I could kiss you," he said, "but the next time I kiss you, I want it to be because it's what we both want. And I know that it's something that we both want, so don't even try to tell me that it's not."
"I won't," she professed as she turned around in his arms to look over at her now ex-fiancée.
Reaching up, Cory closed the curtain to block his view into their lives. "There's nothing there for us anymore," he told her. "I'm ready for our real lives to begin."
