Everyone will probably hate this chapter too but if life went swimmingly for my lovely little family than it would be no fun! Things will improve but we need a base to work from so I promise after this you will like me again! Enjoy!
The floor was littered with Harry's toys. Blocks, miniature dragons and a toy train set scattered in permanent disarray on the living room floor. Sirius paused in the doorway and frowned. Remus was kneeling on the floor quietly tidying the toys, placing the blocks in the toy chest that was carved with dancing animals.
"Harry settle?"
Sirius entered and crouched on the floor beside his friend. "He did." The man grinned. "Even let me tuck him in!"
Remus forced a smile to his lips and continued to stack the blocks away. He worked slowly, using his right arm only.
"It's his birthday next week." Sirius spoke brightly, a week of having Harry in the house had transformed him, especially after the little boy had offered him a shy smile and consented to allow Sirius to play with him and his toys.
Remus moved away from Sirius, his face was hidden and he continued to pack the last of Harry's toys away.
Sirius gritted his teeth. "Look, Moony, I know that it's killing you that Harry is still frightened of you but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be excited about his—"
"Thirty-first is day after the full moon." Remus spoke flatly. "I will most likely be unconscious. Forgive me for not sharing your excitement." He rose stiffly. "I'm going to bed."
Sirius swallowed convulsively, cursing himself mentally. It was a week from the moon, having Harry here had driven every thought of the lunar calendar from his mind. Remus who Harry refused to speak to. Remus who was never alone in the same room as the little boy. Remus who spoke gently to Harry at every meal, praying, begging that one day the frightened, abused child could look past his scarred face, past the fact that tremors ran through his left arm from the silver-damaged nerves and frightened the boy who had once been Remus' whole world.
"Idiot. Idiot. Idiot." He muttered slumping against a wall. "Idiot!" Not once had Remus allowed Harry to see the hurt brimming in his eyes, it was always the same calm, gentle voice that spoke rarely and only when Sirius was there for Harry to hide behind. Harry's birthday. The full moon. It was more than unfair. It was cruel.
Sirius heaved himself to his feet. Last month he had noticed the changes… This month. Gritting his teeth Sirius shook himself. Remus had been endlessly patient, listening to him talk about Harry, worry about Harry, in one week offering more encouragement than Sirius thought possible and what had he given in return? Nothing...
"Open the door, Remus."
The answering silence chilled him. "Remus! Please! I'm sorry! Just open the damned door!"
The door opened and Remus stood, arms folded, his right half supporting the left as if to hide the slight trembling that gave away his hurt. He stood, mute, looking at the floor at his feet.
"Moony, I'm sorry!"
"For what?" Remus muttered.
"For forgetting that full moon is nearly here! For not noticing how tired you are! For… For letting you still work."
Remus looked up, disbelief and hurt written across his face. "You think that is why I am upset?" He whispered.
"It isn't?" Sirius frowned. "I… What's wrong then?"
Remus turned and began to close the door before Sirius shoved past him. "Don't shut me out, Moony."
"For the first time in five years I will be with Harry on his birthday and I will be unconscious!" The words exploded from the werewolf.
Sirius winced. No wonder Remus had looked so betrayed at his wild guesses. "I… There will be other birthdays." The comfort hung piteously in the room.
Remus leaned on the window and stared out at the moon. "In five days I will become a raging monster… I think that will effortlessly fulfil what Harry thinks of me."
Sirius winced. He stood beside Remus, their shoulders brushing. "He doesn't think that…"
"I'm not angry with him. He has been so badly hurt… But… his birthday." There was a throb of pain in Remus' voice.
Sirius touched Remus' shoulder in a comforting gesture, drawing back swiftly as the werewolf flinched and sidestepped.
Remus hunched his shoulders. "Sorry." The word was broken.
"Shut up." Sirius banished the frustration he felt from his voice. "You know, you really should talk to me about that place."
"Talking about Azkaban?"
Sirius scowled. "I hate you, Lupin. I really do."
They stood beside the window for a long time, each wanting to speaking, neither knowing what to say as they stared at the moon that crept towards a glowing circle that had tortured Remus since he was Harry's age. The moon that was carved into their lives as Sunday Roasts were into other families.
"Harry, Uncle Remus won't be here for your proper birthday so we are going to have a huge lunch today and then it will be you and me, kiddo. How does that sound?"
Harry looked delighted. "You and me?" He grinned.
"Uncle Remus is very sad to be missing it." Sirius spoke firmly. He adored his god-son but the fact that he was still terrified to Remus was beginning to trouble him. They were meant to be happy, free of trouble.
Harry shrugged.
"Anyhow, Uncle Remus is sleeping, so you want to help me cook? We will make lots of mess!"
Harry laughed and shyly slid his hand into the one Sirius offered. The animagus was hard put not to should with joy. In fourteen days this was the first time that Harry had voluntarily accepted his touch. "Ready?"
The messy black head nodded and Sirius led Harry from his room to the kitchen.
Lifting his godson onto the bench he broached a question that had been nagging him. "Do you like living with us, Harry?"
Green eyes looked at him curiously, a too-old expression in them. He nodded slowly. "I like living with you." He admitted.
"Good." Sirius ruffled the black hair affectionately. "Because I intend to keep you locked up here until you are at least thirty."
Harry giggled. "You will be ancient!"
"Oh! You wound me! No licking the bowl for you, young man!"
Harry frowned suddenly. "I didn't mean to upset you." He whispered the vulnerable side of the four year old flashing.
Sirius sighed. Remus would be so much better at this. Constant mood swings in a nearly five year old were confusing. "Harry." Sirius spoke gently. "I was just teasing you. Honest. I love having you here and you will never make me mad. Well, you probably will, but that's ok because we will talk about it. Ok? You have the best godson ever and I love you."
Harry stared owlishly at Sirius for a long moment.
"Right." Sirius spoke firmly. "Let's start lunch! And then we can make lots of noise and wake uncle Remus!"
Sirius stood in the doorway and frowned. He had no desire to rouse Remus from his restless slumber but the werewolf had insisted. He approached the bed and gently bent to shake the frail-looking man.
"Moony? Wake up, old fellow." He spoke gently, wincing as Remus woke with a startled cry.
"Shh. It's just me?"
"Sirius?" The voice was pitched with panic.
"Shhh. Relax, Moony."
Remus crumpled back against the pillows and gave a shuddering sigh. "Sorry." He whispered and Sirius was struck by how similar Remus and Harry were.
"Shut up, you prat." He frowned. "You look awful."
"Thanks." Remus glared at his friend for a moment. "Give me a hand."
Sirius obediently helped Remus to his feet. He frowned as the werewolf swayed. "You really do look like death." He said bluntly, his eyes travelling over the almost translucent skin with visible concern.
"Where is Harry?"
"Kitchen. He helped me cook." Sirius brightened. "He held my hand, Moony!"
Remus' face softened with a weary smile. "Good." He murmured. "Maybe you will get your good night hug."
Sirius shrugged. "Not tonight." He shook his head. "He's still scared of me."
"He will come around." Remus leaned against Sirius as they slowly made their way down the stairs. There was a note of wistfulness in the tired voice and Sirius gently brushed the hand that clutched at his arm in a desperate attempt to stay upright.
"He is going to love you, Moony." He reassured and Remus was too tired to argue.
Harry frowned a little as his new guardians entered the room. Remus straightened and moved towards the table slowly, a limp visibly, the rough, silvery scars stark contrast to the ashen face.
"Hullo, Harry." His voice was hoarse. "Happy birthday for tomorrow." Remus' trade-mark gentle smile softened the disfigured face. "I'm sorry I can't be here." He closed his eyes against a wave of dizziness before continuing. "But I am sure that you and Sirius will have a grand time!" He ignored the way Harry sank into his chair and refused to look at Remus' face, after all, the child had been so emotionally damaged by his relatives that it was no wonder he was frightened of the deformed face of a stranger.
"We will." Sirius spoke a little too loudly and Remus winced. "Sorry, Moony. I forgot. Now, we will have a wonderful time, won't we, Harry! And then when Uncle Remus is back we will tell him all about it! You even get to open Uncle Remus' present today so he can see if you like it." Sirius began to dish the baked potatoes onto plates. Remus seemed to pale even more at the smell and Sirius frowned.
"You need to eat." His voice was firm, authoritative.
"Yes, Lily." Remus muttered.
Sirius grinned at the reminder of how Lily would hover over the werewolf, forcing him to eat before he transformed. "Hungry, Kiddo? Let's see who can eat fastest, you or me."
Harry looked confused for a moment before frowning and nodding determinedly. He was willing to go along with whatever hair-brained plan his new godfather came up with if it kept Sirius happy and meant he could stay.
They ate, Sirius ensuring that Harry laughed at the faces he pulled and carefully drawing Remus into conversation whenever he could. It was a dance the adults had perfected since Harry's arrival but still the newest arrival of the family refused to speak to Remus and only stared at him with wide, fearful eyes. The food was demolished swiftly and it wasn't long before Sirius brought out a lop-sided cake.
"Merlin, Sirius." Remus raised an eyebrow.
"Shut up. You are the one who is better at baking."
"Mmm." Remus glanced at the clock. "Next year." He was beginning to droop.
Sirius forced himself to remain light hearted. "We are not singing Happy Birthday, Kiddo. I plan to do that tomorrow, but you cut the cake and then open Uncle Remus' present and then we can let him go for his trip."
Harry nodded shyly and held the knife just above Sirius' strong hands. "One, two, three!" Together they pushed the knife into the cake and their shouts of laughter rang out into the kitchen as the icing slid onto the plate along with the top layer of cake.
Remus was shaking his head, lips pressed together tightly in an attempt to hide his smile. "You need lessons, Sirius." He mocked gently.
"Good, after the— Trip, you can give them too me. Cake?"
Remus shook his head. "Harry, I have to leave in a moment. Here is your gift." A tired smile. "I hope you like it."
Harry glanced at Sirius swiftly and waited for the reassuring smile that appeared before carefully unwrapping the set of books that Remus had made Sirius buy. He traced the bright illustrations and smiled books of his own.
"Say thank you." Sirius prompted gently.
Harry shivered and glanced up. "Thank you." The words were mumbled swiftly and Remus sighed.
"I have to go."
Sirius frowned but nodded. "Harry, take them into the sitting room." He ruffled the black hair again. "We will play with the quidditch set?"
Harry grinned, slid from his chair and scurried away. He loved playing with the Quidditch set that he had been given and he and Sirius could spend hours over it.
"Can you walk?"
"'M fine." Remus slurred. He was so tired. So very tired.
Sirius pulled the werewolf to his feet and frowned. "You weren't this tired last month."
"Normal. More awake."
Harry' Birthday, the reason Remus had dragged his weakened body down the stairs and forced himself to smile, make conversation. Sirius tightened his grip on his friend; Harry had to see how much his 'uncle' truly adored him.
"Sirius?"
"Sorry! I got distracted."
Remus looked at the animagus for a long moment before he spoke again. "Take me to the basement now." The room was spinning around him and he was cruelly reminded of being worked till exhaustion and pain felled him in the compound. A violent shudder rippled through him and he unconsciously slumped closer to Sirius, the man who would never beat him for not being strong.
"Moony."
"Please."
Sirius nodded curtly and gently half-carried the werewolf down the steps to the basement. He swiftly cast a warming charm and conjured a soft bed. "It will vanish with moonrise." He soothed seeing Remus' frown. "Now, steady. I'll come to you before moonrise and help with your robes."
"Mmm."
Sirius drew a blanket over the shivering form. "Was it this bad in that place?"
"Worse." Remus forced his eyes open. "Please… Not…Now."
Sirius nodded. "Sleep." He turned and crossed to the door, looking back over his shoulder he sighed wearily, Remus shifted fretfully, unable to find a comfortable position. He had always been uncomfortable, tired and sore before the moon but this… This was torture to watch.
Harry frowned. Sirius was distracted and the little boy was frightened that he had done something wrong. It was strange this house, he had his own room with the amazing painting with animals that moved, toys were in every room now, his, the library, kitchen, and the sitting room he was never forced to clean them up but once, he had peaked into the sitting room and seen Remus doing it, kneeling on the floor and packing the toys up. It puzzled him, Sirius used his wand to clean them up but Remus seemed to enjoy packing them away in a normal way. Harry sighed and cautiously touched the colourful cover of the books. He didn't like Remus, he was scared of the quiet man and spoke in a calm voice unlike Sirius who was so… Loud. He wanted to like him, Remus was so nice… But the scars on his face frightened Harry so badly. Aunt Petunia had told him once that if he didn't stay silent in his cupboard a bad man who was ugly as sin would take him away. Now, he didn't know what 'as ugly as sin' meant but Remus seemed to fit the 'ugly' part. His face scared Harry, the uneven skin, the way his cheek caved inwards a little, at odds with the fine bones of the unmarked side, the eye that was red where it was meant to be white. And then his arm… His arm that was always trembling just a little. Harry shivered, it was clear Remus was the bad man who Aunt Petunia had warned him about and he had to make sure Sirius know that the person he thought was a friend was not a good man. Harry's lips trembled, he just wanted to be happy and having a normal life like other kids. Like Dudley, with a mum and dad who loved him.
"Remus, will you please stop!" Sirius glared at his friend. "It's only been five days! You should still be taking it easy!"
Remus straightened and wiped his hands on his pants to remove the dust and straightened. "I am fine." He sounded irritated; it was an argument which had been repeated often in the two hours he had been cleaning.
"We said, you said we needed to do this together!" Sirius scowled.
"Sirius, we went through this room, there is nothing that will eat me. Go play with Harry; he looked miserable when you followed me out."
"He is getting used to you."
Remus looked up incredulously before turning. "Mmm." He used his wand to flick the heavy curtains open and sunlight seeped through the grime-covered windows into the room.
"Fine. I'm going. You are a prat."
"Git." Remus called back obligingly after Sirius' back. He sighed as he heard laughter floating away and his shoulders slumped. Sirius was happy, it was good, the animagus had been through so much and if Remus forcing a light tone ensured that his friend remained happy than how could he argue?
An hour passed, and then two. Remus worked efficiently, finding to his surprise he missed Sirius' constant talking and attempts to draw him into conversation. Two months had changed him. A tiny, rueful smile flickered across his face. Two months had reminded him to live, that people loved him and needed him and that he needed them. Dust was banished from every surface and the sun shone brightly through the now clean window by the time Remus turned back to a dark wardrobe that had obviously seen better days and he found himself marvelling that the most Noble and Ancient house of Black still tolerated a cupboard that was falling off its hinges. Sirius had already tested it for Dark Objects and Remus stepped forward and pulled open the door. Immediately he was thrown backwards, blinding light and searing pain rushing forward in a flurry of bright flames. He screamed in agony before his head made contact with the floor and he collapsed into merciful unconsciousness. He never heard Sirius' frantic, desperate cries, never felt the man who loved him life a brother lift his unconscious body and hurry it to the bedroom, never saw the wide green eyes of a small, undernourished five year old watching in stricken silence as his god-father worked frantically to heal the skin burned by the fiery snake that had erupted from the cabinet as a result of Fiendfyre.
Please review! And I will explain how the curse wasn't found by Sirius in the next chapter! I just wanted to leave it on a mean note :P
