Stay Young Forever

Chapter 9


We went outside of his hotel room to the terrace. It was past midnight and the air was freezing cold, but I had a lot of layers on. Besides, the night air helped clear my mind.

We sat on chairs that you'd see in a fancy cafe. It surrounded a tiny round table where he set his hands as he stared out at the night sky. I waited patiently for him to start.

"I quit the movie." He said suddenly, and my eyes bugged out in shock.

"What? Why?" I asked, leaning in a little closer.

He shrugged, as if it were no big deal. "Didn't feel right."

"Right." I said, rolling my eyes. I wasn't buying this for a second.

"You don't believe me?"

"Of course not. If that was really your reason, then why are you still here in New York?"

He looked off to the sky again, and I could tell I had him cornered. I leaned back and crossed my legs, prepared to wait all night if I had to.

"The day I saw you, I wasn't supposed to be the one ordering the props. My manager said he would take care of all of it. I was about to let him do it, but I overheard him on the phone. He was talking to your boss, trying to get him to borrow the props. Your boss said he'd need to talk to his best accountant, Ms. Valentine. I knew there was a large change it wasn't you, but I took the risk anyways. And I'm glad I did."

I looked down at the table, unable to meet his eyes. I felt him stare at me for a little, then he continued with his story.

"My manager was pretty upset about it, but he decided to let me do it. I was supposed to return the next day, but when I found out it really was you, I couldn't help but stay. So then the director found out, and he said I either returned right away or I got fired. So I picked the second option."

I rolled my eyes, scowling at him. "You threw away a huge opportunity just to hang out with a childhood friend?"

"Of course. Especially when that childhood friend is in desperate need for some childhood memories."

I just snorted a little, resting my hand on my cheek and my elbow on the table.

"So is that really your reason? For hanging around me so much? You just wanted to remind me of what used to be?"

He laughed, and our eyes met. "You make it sound so tragic."

"It kind of is." I said, and we both started to laugh.

"Okay, I did you the favor. Your turn."

I looked down at the table and nodded. I wondered if I could get away from this by 'accidentally' falling asleep. But I decided I was doing this for my own good.

"It was June 18th 2014." I said quietly, chills running down my spine. I was about to just go out and tell him, but I decided it was better to break it to him slowly.

"You remember how my mother had died from cancer, right?" I asked him, staring out at the sky now. I could feel him staring at me, searching for answers.

"Of course."

"Well, that was the day I lost something big in my life. Something that couldn't and wasn't ever replaced. That left me with only my brother and dad. I loved them to death. But you know what they did? They did things a little too recklessly. I learned from them, and I started to be reckless too." I stopped to wipe a tear from my eye, not daring to even look close to Beck's eyes.

"They always drove so carelessly. They would swerve and just have a great time, enjoying it. They had this motto, to spend everyday like it was your last. And June 18th was their last." I barely croaked out. Beck was still for a few moments in shock, until he put the puzzle together and was reaching for my hand. I allowed him to take it, as I stared out at the sky. I squeezed his hand roughly, trying not to cry.

In my mind I was reliving everything. The moment Lane called me to his office to tell me. The feeling of complete emptiness. The change, turning into something I wasn't just so I'd be safe.

"Cat, I had no idea." He whispered, and I just nodded, wiping another tear that escaped. We just sat there for a few minutes, me regaining my composure and him trying to figure out what to say. But I've had practice with this before, and I know how to hide these feelings well. So I just pushed them aside and forced a fake smile.

"I'm fine, really. No big deal."

He stared at me for a few moments, and I stared right back at him to assure him I was alright. But I was the farthest from alright. And apparently he wasn't that easy to fool.

"Cat, you don't have to fight these emotions. You can talk to me. They were a big part of my life too." He whispered, and I noticed for the first time that his eyes were glazed over with tears as well. And that was all it took.

In seconds my tears finally reached their limit, breaking the barrier and streaking down my face. I clung both shaky hands around Beck's, and bowed my head while I cried. Beck walked over and picked me up, and I clung desperately onto his shirt, as if he were my last chance at living. I felt as if I was the one in the accident, as if my life were the one ending.

This gut-wrenching feeling I've had since that day was finally being released from me. I felt a burden being lifted, and the more I cried the better I felt.

Beck just stood there, overlooking the New York skyline. He was rocking me gently back and forth in his arms, and I felt the soothing motion calming me down. Soon I was silent, just staring out at the night. Then I felt a few drops on the top of my head, and I knew he was crying too.

"Beck." I whispered after about half an hour had gone by. "Beck, let's go inside." I said while shivering. He nodded and turned around, opening the back door. I hopped out of his arms, although I could tell he still needed comforting. I walked over to the fort and stroked my finger tips against the fabric, once again remembering how my dad would make these for my brother and I when we were kids. And just the memory sent me sniffling again, turning away as I wiped another tear.

"So.." I said after I had regained my composure again. "What do you want to do now?"

He just shrugged, and I could tell he wasn't really in the mood for partying anymore.

"You know, this is why I didn't want to tell you."

He looked up at me with a confused expression, so I decided to evaluate.

"I didn't want to tell you because I knew what would happen. From now on your not going to look at me the same way. You'll see my brother, or my dad, and you will just think of my tragic loss, and then you'll feel bad for me. But I don't need anyone feeling bad for me. What's done is done, there's no use trying to pretend it could be better by comforting." I stared at the fort the whole time I said this, unable to look at him.

"Cat, I won't look at you any other way. When I see you all I ever see in that childhood friend I loved so much. Nothing will change that."

"Yea, right. You say that now, but what about tomorrow? Will you wake up and see me sleeping, and then go out of your way to be nice to me? I don't want you to be incredibly nice to me. I want you to treat me how I deserve to be treated. If you want to do this quest-mission thing, then you can't be nice to me. I don't want that. I want you to see me as the spoiled brat I am." I said, this time meeting his eyes.

"Your not a spoiled brat."

"I was to you before I told you that." I sneered at him, and looked at the fort again. I felt the room tense up, and it was incredibly awkward.

"Look, Beck, all I'm saying is, don't be any nicer than what's necessary, okay?" He nodded, and I sighed with relief.

"So, want some ice cream?" He asked, pointing at the fridge.

"Sure." I said, and we headed over.

This was going to be a looong night.