For Elise May. Your review on my last chapter brightened up a very early start a work day :)

Enjoy


Nick stepped away from the wall and toward Carla, who, herself now had her back to a wall. She tightly shut her eyes and flinched, making Nick stop in his tracks, he softly stroked the back of her face with his knuckles

"Carla, I'm not him. Open your eyes " he whispered. She slowly opened her eyes, but still held herself hunched up, trying to make herself as small as possible

"Please, don't tell me you were doing what I think... " Nick sighed

"I wasn't feeling well" she replied which wasn't a complete lie. She just needed a little help, She still wasn't completely sure why she had done it in the first place

"Carla, please" Nick begs. He can't live like this anymore

"I needed to be sick, it was going to come up anyway, I just... " She trails off, closing her eyes as she tries to calm her breathing down

"I feel funny. I feel.. " her voice contains a keening, needful sort of plea

Her breathing is rapid and harsh, she reaches out and grabs Nicks arm as he leads her to sit down

"Nick, I can't breathe" She gasps

"Yes, you can. Just take deep breaths" Nick inhales and exhaled, encouraging Carla to copy him

Carla's head now shakes back and forth in rapid succession.

"C.. Cant" She chokes out

"Focus Carla" Nick almost shouts, finally gaining her attention enough to get her to breath properly. After a few minutes the shaking starts to reduce and her gasping gulps of air diminishes

"I'm going to get you some water" Nick hesitates to leave her side before rushing over to the kitchen, returning a few seconds later and handing Carla a glass

"Drink, slowly" he orders, receiving a glare from Carla. Nick glares back at her as he returns to the kitchen and placing a slice of bread in the toaster, panic written on Carla's face

"Don't even start Carla" he sighed, reaching for the butter and a knife

"I need to go to work" Carla pushes herself up from the sofa, causing Nick to rush over

"I don't think so"

"You can't stop me " She snaps

"Why can't you see that I'm trying to help? " Nick is almost shouting

"I never asked for your help" she snapped "Now if you don't mind, I'm going to work"

"You've got sick on your top," Nick said, his voice almost breaking, along with his heart "Please take it off"

Carla did nothing, she was so still that for a moment that Nick thought that she had stopped breathing. He felt so helpless that he actually wanted to throw up too. Then he wanted to hit something

"I know you're scared. That part I get, I'm scared too," Nick whispered and let his hand slide down Carla's arm to take her hand instead. "But I'm right here, Carla, right here, and I'm not going anywhere. No matter what you say or how much you push me away."

Carla hesitated and Nick waited, not really sure if he would let her leave or continue to force her to stay if she tried to walk away again. He didn't have to find out because instead of fleeing, Carla squeezed his hand. Nick placed himself right in front of her and took her other hand as well.

"I'm right here," Nick promised, squeezing both of her hands to prove it. "Talk to me."

Carla shook her head and refused to look at Nick

"Damn it, Carla, don't do this," Nick pleaded. "Don't shut me out."

"I can't," She sighed

"Why?"

"Because you care," Carla whispered so quietly that Nick almost didn't hear her "and I… I don't want to make you sad."

That's too late," he whispered, refusing to let go when Carla wanted to back away. "I'm so, so sad to see you do this. It hurts, Carla, because I love you."

Carla shook her head, tears filling her eyes

"Yes, Carla. I love you, let me help you" He pleaded

"The toast is burning " Carla replied, her voice almost monotone and flat as she walked over to the kitchen, grabbing the toast and placing it on a plate. She looked stunned and utterly helpless; Nick's entire body ached when he saw it, but at least it became very clear to him what he should do. He walked up to Carla and took the plate. For a moment Carla didn't want to let go, but when she finally did, she closed her eyes and took a step back.

"Go," Nick said with a sigh

Carla smiled weakly and retreated to the bedroom, emerging a few moments later in fresh clothing.

"Thank you" she muttered as she reached for the front door

"Don't " Nick snapped. A huge pressure filling his chest, making every breath a struggle. This wasn't just killing Carla, he realised. This was killing him too


"You're late " Aiden barked as Carla entered the office to underworld

"You do realise I'm still the boss, right? " She snapped. Aiden looked over at Carla, thinking of a witty come back when he saw the sight before him

"God, Carla, you look like hell"

"You look lovely and all" Carla sighed

"If you're not feeling well.. " Aiden started to reply before Carla cut him off

"I'm fine, get me a coffee " She looked up "Please, oh and no sugar, black " She muttered as she rubbed her forehead, she could feel a headache starting


"Earth to Nick " Leanne waved her hand in front of his face

"Sorry" He muttered. His mind was in other places, or more specifically, on another person

"Let me guess, Carla? She rolled her eyes at the mention of the other woman's name

"Don't" Nick warned, before sighing "I know you hate her, but I'm worried about her"

"Why, what's she done now? " Leanne scoffed. Receiving yet another disapproving look from her ex husband.

"If you're that worried go find her. I'll be OK here" she offered, as a way of an apology. Nick shook his head in response, he couldn't face Carla right now, still angry at her. He needed to remind himself that it wasn't her he hated, it was all the issues they had been facing these past few weeks. He was afraid the day would come when he didn't bother correcting his thoughts. And he was afraid that day would come soon

"Here" Leanne passed him a glass, Nick looked down and realised it was whiskey, which he gladly accepted

"How bad is she? "Leanne sighed, hardly believing she actually cared. Nick stared at her, feeling as startled as he looked. To distance himself from the question

"I can't...she would never forgive me, especially if I told you.. " he said with a forced smile

"Then, how are you?" She replied

It's not, I'm fine," Nick said, undermining his own words by looking away from her.

"You don't have to be strong in front of me, you know."

"I'm fine," he managed to say again after a deep breath, sounding just a bit more secure this time.

"I've noticed, you know" Leanne adds "How different she is. How she's acting, how she looks... " Leanne trails off. Nick wondered who else bad noticed, and why nobody else had stepped in to help. He knew it was only adding to Carla's already damaged perception of herself.

He just wished Carla had the strength to fight some of the days so that he could take a break. No, that wasn't fair. Carla probably fought twice the battle he did. Nick had no right to complain.

No right to be tired.

No right to give in, to give up.

He just had to be strong.