Leia smiles back at her. "Well, sadly I've been too busy to read any good books lately, the music isn't nearly as good as it was when I was younger, so why don't we talk about how long you've been sleeping with my son?"
And the smile freezes on Rey's lips. "Um ..." She wishes she could sink into the floor. "Did you feel it through the Force?"
"No. I heard the others talk about it. I'm old not deaf, dear. Besides, you have a hickey."
Rey blushes and puts her hand to her neck. "I'm going to kill him ..."
"Answer my question, Rey. How long have you been sleeping with my son?"
"Um, I kind of lost track last night. And then there was twice this morning ..."
Leia winces. "How long, dear. Not how often. I don't want to know how many times you've had sex with my son. I don't even want to think about how man times you've had sex with my son. Let me try to rephrase the question. How long have you been in love with my son?"
"I don't know." It's hard to confess that.
"Was our arrival here … our safe passage and medical care... was this how you got him to say yes to it?"
"What? No!" There's a white hot surge of anger in her at that. "I did not sleep with Ben to save you. He never would have asked that of me." She forces the anger to cool down. "I pretty much take the lead in that ..."
"Rey … again with details I don't want to know." Leia had given up hope that Ben Solo would ever come back a long time ago. "How did this- how did the two of you happen?"
"Snoke said he created a Force bond between us, but I don't believe it. It's too … good for that. I think it might have started earlier." There's old pain here- for Leia and herself. "After … after the First Order captured me. Ben- Kylo then- tried to interrogate me to find out what I knew ..."
"Did he hurt you, Rey?"
"No … not really. Not the way you think. He read my thoughts … and I discovered I could read his too. That's how I knew about his fears. He left me … and then I used the Force to escape. I think that's when the bond was established." She looks away. "When I found Luke, the bond became stronger. I could talk to Ben. That's when he became Ben to me. He told me what happened … or at least what he thought had happened. He thought Luke tried to kill him."
"You're saying that Luke made him into Kylo Ren."
"Not just Luke. Everyone. You. Han. Luke. Snoke." She hates this part but it's truth, and it's fair, and she knows that Ben would want her to say this. "But Ben knows that he's responsible for everything he did as Kylo Ren. He's accepted that. And so have I."
"What happened when you told Luke about this? You did tell him?"
"He walked in on Ben and I ..." She saw the older woman's eyes widen and then laughed. "No. Not that. We were just reaching out for each other." Maybe if we hadn't been interrupted things would have been different. Maybe he would have come to me sooner. "I told Luke there was still light in Ben. He told me that Ben couldn't be saved. I went after him anyway."
"I'm beginning to see why Ben fell in love with you..."
"He took me to Snoke. Snoke tried to make me tell him where Luke was. He couldn't make me." Her eyes tell Leia what she needed to know about that. "Then he told Kylo- Ben- to kill me. Obviously he didn't. He used the Force to control my light saber to kill Snoke. Then together we defeated Snoke's Praetorian guard. It was … I can't describe it to you, General. We moved as one, had absolute faith in each other. And then when we won, I thought Ben would come back with me … that we could bring an end to the war … but he chose the throne and when I refused him, we destroyed my light saber. We were so perfectly matched that neither of us could overcome the other. It exploded. I woke up before Ben and got away."
"You didn't think to kill him?" The thought hurts Leia, but if she had been there...
"No. I couldn't kill Ben- any more than he could kill me whenever he had a chance." She closes her eyes. "I was wrong. I thought I could save Ben. That if Snoke died the spell on Kylo Ren would be lifted and he'd be Ben Solo again. He'd be good again- just like that. But it wasn't. I couldn't save Ben, General. He had to save himself."
"But you gave him a reason to do so."
She blushes. "I told him I wanted him- wanted to be with him- but I couldn't join him on the Dark Side. He would have to come to me. And when I told him you needed help, he told me about Mustafar and came to us. To me."
She doesn't know why she says that last, but she can't stop herself. There are parts of Ben she won't share with anyone- even his mother. Parts that she has claimed for herself.
"He came back for you." Leia smiles, but there's an ache in her heart that neither she or Han had been able to bring Ben home. Maybe if we had tried together … "Rey, Ben was Supreme Leader of the First Order. Is he still?"
"I don't know. He doesn't know either. I guess we'll find out when we encounter them again."
"Rey." If she could, Leia would rise up from her sickbed. "We had a chance for peace. Ben was on the throne. We could have worked out a truce- maybe even a peace treaty. We had the best chance for peace and he threw it away!"
"He did it to save your life! And I asked him to! He came because I asked him too. I wanted him here, General. He had no one to watch his back there. Do you think Hux wasn't planning to kill Ben as soon as he could?"
"There was a risk, but with his skills Ben would have been-"
"He could have died, Leia! Doesn't that mean anything to you? Don't you care about your own son?"
"Of course I care, Rey! But now millions of lives are at risk because the two of you put me- put yourselves- before the welfare of the galaxy! That's not the Jedi way!"
"I am not a Jedi! Ben is not a Jedi! If the Jedi Council hadn't been so hidebound that Anakin had to keep his marriage a secret he might not have become Darth Vader! If Ben hadn't been forced to try to surpress his feeling then maybe he wouldn't have become Kylo Ren!" She knows she's shouting, but she can't stop herself. "Ben and I won't become Jedi if it means giving up on our love! We won't let our children become Jedi if it means they would have to give up on love! Maybe Luke was right- maybe it is time for the Jedi to end!"
She stares at the surprised older woman for a moment. She's on the verge of stepping out the door when Leia says, "So, you're planning on having kids? How many?"
She whirls about and stares at the older woman. "What?"
"Children, Rey. Your children. My future grandchildren. Are you expecting?"
"No." At least I don't think so …
"I wanted a larger family, but there was never enough time. So much work to do in the Senate. And somehow … Han and I just never managed to work it out to try again after Ben. We were afraid to try, to be honest."
"I … see." Are you blaming Ben for that? That you were so disappointed in what he was that you were afraid another child would be just as dangerous?
"I do hope that Ben salted away some credits when he left the First Order. Children are very expensive," Leia says to change the subject. Is that political skill or the Force? Rey isn't sure.
"We'll be fine. I'll take care of Ben, he'll take care of me, and we'll both take care of our children. If we have them. When we have them. Which isn't going to be soon. Because I'm not pregnant."
"Twins run in the family."
Force. I can't do this alone. It's like she's trying to drive me crazy. She reaches desperately out into the Force. She knows, Ben. She knows about us.
His reply comes back annoyingly calm. And? It was bound to happen and I didn't think you wanted to keep it secret any longer than we had to...
"Did Ben tell you he's still technically part of the Royal House of Alderaan? Since his past as Kylo Ren isn't generally known, I'm sure there'll be a big celebration and that the government of New Alderann will want the wedding held there. If it's something that the two of you are planning on soon, we should notify them … Perhaps Ben should join us...?" There's a longing in the older woman's voice that belies the lightness of her words... and everything that she's said earlier … she's a mother who's been kept from her son far too long.
And if Rey wasn't currently having a meltdown she might have noticed that. She wants to talk to us, Ben. She wants to talk to both of us! Force! She keeps asking me about my intentions towards her son... and how I'm going to support you … and if we want kids … I've changed my mind. We're eloping. Definitely eloping. Get your pale white posterior back here, Ben! I am NOT doing this alone!
I'll be right there.
How dare he be so calm! He never said anything about being a prince! Force! She didn't know anything about royalty … what if they expected her to wear a dress?!
"Ben is on his way, General." Her teeth grind against each other. When I get you alone, Ben Solo we're going to have a long talk …
Author's Note: I posted two chapters yesterday and Fanfiction still showed the last update as being on the 21st. Hope this one shows up. I may not be able to update for a few days due to the holidays.
