A/N: Sorry this has taken so long guys! But now I am almost done with this story! :( Let me know if you would like me to write Chase's story as well. It has to do with the avalanche and I have some pretty cool ideas so just let me know. It probably won't be out for a few months if I do it because I have to write the sequel to Shattered Glass and get going on that. Anyway, there are only 2 more chapters in this story after this one, and I'm sad that it is almost over. Tell me, have you enjoyed it so far? What would you like to see in the epilogue chapter? What can I do better? Thanks for reading! :)
3 months later...
Bree's P.O.V.
Three months. It has been three months since I last saw Chase. It's weird, not being around him anymore. Sure, I don't miss his annoying ego or his need to belittle me every chance he gets, but he is my brother. He is-or, was, my best friend. I miss how we used to talk and how we used to laugh together. Our relationship has changed over the last few years. We have grown farther apart. And I guess that is more my fault than his. I was always the one running off and ditching him to see boys or to go to parties. I took him for granted and I shouldn't have.
But it doesn't matter now. It's all ruined. Don't get me wrong, I don't want it to be this way. I can hardly stand being apart from him like this. We were so close when we were younger, and now, just look at us! We can't even be in the same room together! No, I would do just about anything for things to go back to the way they were before all of this happened. I wish we were still young and naive. I wish I could still look him in the eye. I wish I could stand even ten feet away from him without shaking. I wish I could talk to him without my breath hitching and seemingly disappearing. I can wish all I want, but wishing won't change the facts. My brother is lost to me. And I can't seem to do anything about it.
Adam and Leo have told me how he is. They try to tell me that he is fine, but I know the truth. I can see in their eyes that he is hurting. I thought if we stayed away from each other for a while, I would be able to forgive him. I thought he would apologize and I would tell him that I forgive him. But that didn't happen. The one time I did see him in this three months, I couldn't even look at him. And I fell down into Adam because I was so afraid. I did look at him then. I saw how much it hurt him. And I was sorry. I didn't mean to cause so much grief. I want to walk up to him and throw my arms around him and tell him that I don't hold it against him anymore. That I've forgiven him. Because I have.
But I can't control what this fear does to me. It rages and roars inside of me and this feeling of complete helplessness envelops me and I can't escape. I can't go to him like that. My own fear is keeping us apart now, and I can't seem to make it stop.
Still, I know I have to be brave. I can't let this go on forever. I won't. I can't live in this constant, consuming fear any longer. I have to make it stop, or I don't know how much more I can take. I can't keep living like this.
So, here I am. I'm standing outside the mentors quarters. Adam and Leo are off with Mr. Davenport and Douglas. And it was not a coincidence that that is happening today. I am facing it today; all my fears have to go today or I don't know what I will do. I'm coming to him again. I'm not angry this time. I'm not even sad or hurt or shocked. I am ready. I think.
When I open the door, I expect something dramatic to happen. Something like in the movies. But nothing happens as I open the door. In fact, Chase is completely unaware of my presence until I clear my throat. He turns around from where he is sitting at his desk and immediately stands up, shocked. "Bree! You're not supposed to be here! I mean, it's not that I don't want you here, it's just that, well, Mr. Davenport thought it best if you and I, that is to say, that we, well, if we could-" he rambles on.
My small, clear voice silences him. "This is very hard for me. And your rambling is not helping ease my anxiety. Please, we need to talk." I say, my voice hoarse and barely above a whisper.
I'm far away from him, at least 20 feet, but I feel his presence as much as I always have. And It is suffocating me. He nods and gestures for me to sit on the couch. I shake my head and remain standing, crossing my arms over my chest. He stands still as well, not moving toward or away from me. It confuses me. Chase has always been one to make a move of some sort. He either runs from his problems, or, when the situation involves me, turns to comfort me.
He sticks his hands in his pockets and studies me. His gaze feels strange and I shiver, wondering if I really have made a horrible decision by coming here. His eyes soften when they meet mine and my mind is spinning out of control. This is not going to be easy. Not even a little bit. "What is it?" he asks, his voice calm though his eyes are stormy, "You're not pregnant or something, are you?"
I almost laugh, but then take a deep breath. I hadn't considered that possibility as a real and very possible outcome. "No." I manage to say.
He breathes a sigh of relief and then turns his attention back to me. "What is it you want to talk about then, Bree?" he asks.
"I can't do this anymore. I can't keep on living like this. I want it to stop. I want it to end." I say with no emotion in my voice.
