I own nothing you recognize. All original characters and storylines are my own.

...

So Far Away

...

This is my life

It's not what it was before

All these feelings I've shared

And these are my dreams

That I've never lived before

Somebody shake me

Cause I, I must be sleeping

...

(chorus)

And now that we're here,

So far away

All the struggle we thought was in vain

And all the mistakes,

One life contained

They all finally start to go away

And now that we're here it's so far away

And I feel like I can face the day

I can forgive, and I'm not ashamed to be the person that I am today

...

These are my words

That I've never said before

I think I'm doing ok

And this is the smile

That I've never shown before

Somebody shake me

Cause I, I must be sleeping

...

(chorus)

And now that were here

So far away

All the struggle we thought was in vain

And all mistakes one life contains

They all finally start to go away

And now that were here

So far away

And I feel like I can face the day

I can forgive, and I'm not ashamed to be the person that I am today- Staind

...

Charming

He continued to hold her for a few seconds before a nudge to his shoulder brought his attention to Bobby who gave him an impatient look. Juice squeezed her tightly and placed another kiss to her head. He had to give himself a mental pep talk before he could let go.

"Hey, other people wanna see you." He whispered and Milla pulled away, the tears in her eyes making them shimmer like chocolate gemstones. She nodded and turned to hug Bobby as Gemma came behind and did something no one expected her to do. She placed her grandson into Juice's arms. The message she was sending wasn't lost on anyone.

While Juice held Little Clay, Milla was being passed around. Faces became blurred and voices muffled until she was practically thrown into a muscular chest that was familiar and not at the same time.

"Hey Mills, long time no see." Milla's mouth opened in shock then closed as she grabbed Opie around the waist and hugged him for all she was worth. The last time she'd seen him he'd been in Chino, now he was here in her arms and she wasn't completely sure everything was real.

"Ope, god it's really you Ope." New tears poured down her face as he removed her arms only to engulf her in a bear hug.

"Yeah Mills, it's really me." He rested his cheek against the top of her head before he set her down and smiled at her while she grinned back.

"Where's Donna, and the munchkins?" Milla asked as she wiped her eyes and Opie gave her a smile.

"She's at the house; she doesn't come to Club events." Milla's face fell and he added. "You'll see her and the kids later."

He smiled at the woman he loved like a sister and hugged her again before he passed her off to Koz, who just needed one more hug. He was happy she was back and he was free to enjoy it.

"So, you thinkin about coming home. Maybe to stay?" Luann looked at her godbaby who quickly swallowed her bite of the pulled pork sandwich her Mom had made for her and smiled at her Auntie Lu.

"I wish I could, lord knows, but I have responsibilities and obligations in Belfast. I plan on coming home more often though. I think my baby boy already likes it here." She felt tears at the back of her eyes when she saw her father cradling his sleeping grandson while her mom ran her fingers through his curls.

"Good, now that you've come back to us, we don't wanna lose you again." Luann pulled Milla over and kissed the top of her head, she was glad to have her baby girl back and she hoped nothing would fuck this up.

"I don't want to lose any of you either." Milla smiled again but resisted the urge to look back to where Juice was leaning against the wall. He hadn't left her side for most of the night and she was grateful, but at the same time she was anxious. Soon it would be over. Like Cinderella at midnight her fairytale would come crumbling and she'd have to resign herself to the fact that he wouldn't be with her in the way she wanted right now, or possibly ever.

"Stop with the losing each other shit. Milla's home and she's free to come back whenever. Let's focus on the good." Clay commanded while Gemma nodded at his side and Milla beamed. She was home and free to come and go. Life was finally worth it. She just had to work on staying permanently.

Later that night Juice trailed behind Gemma's Caddy as she dropped Milla off at Ope's. Opie had left early because Donna was working the night shift and he'd needed to be there for the kids so Gemma had offered to bring Milla to his house. Juice and Jax had volunteered to be the escorts. Well Jax had volunteered; no one else was getting in Juice's way on that one. They stayed parked on the street and watched as Milla carried her son to the house with Gemma following, making sure her daughter was in her line of sight at all times, it didn't take a genius to understand why. She'd lost her once; she wasn't going to lose her again. Once Ope opened the door Milla turned and waved at them and Jax nodded back while Juice raised a hand. He wanted her to know that he was there and would continue to be. Soon Milla was in the house and Gemma was at her Caddy. Juice readjusted his helmet and was prepared to take off when Jax started speaking.

"You know you have our support right?" He asked and Juice quirked an eyebrow. "As soon as the Mick's out of the way we'll make sure the path is clear. No one else I'd have my sister with but you Brother."

With that Jax kicked his bike to life and followed his mother while Juice sat for a few more seconds and let it sink in. As soon as she was free she'd be his, no fights, no opposition he'd have everyone's blessings and he knew she wanted him too. He'd just have to be patient and wait it out but if he knew Clay he'd been plotting Rafferty's demise for two years so maybe he wouldn't have to wait too long. He grinned and brought his bike to life. He had to get some sleep, stress and anxiety had led to too many sleepless nights in the last few months and he needed to catch up. He needed to be at his best. He continued to grin as he took off but the grin left his face as he came to a conclusion that changed his course. He still had an obstacle in his way to Milla. A petite brunette obstacle with his name tattooed on her back. With a curse he continued on to Nessa's apartment complex and hoped that she was still awake. He didn't want to wake her up just to dump her, a part of him felt like that would be rude. He looked up and saw that her light was still on, it meant that she was still up and that meant he had to go, there was no use prolonging the inevitable.

"Hey baby! I wasn't expecting you tonight." She said happily as she threw her arms around his neck. He didn't say a word as he hugged her for what would probably be the last time. "I made some spaghetti for supper; I have the extras in the fridge if you wanna warm some of them up."

She pulled away and took his hand before she walked him into the kitchen. In her experience he was always hungry, especially after a party so it was good to have food. She also knew that as long as she kept talking and doing things he wouldn't have a chance to tell her the reason he came over. He'd spent the whole night in the same room with...her... Nessa wasn't an idiot, she'd seen the sadness in his eyes and it wasn't self-pity, oh no that pity was directed at her and as long as she kept moving she could deflect it and as long as she did this shit she could show that she was a good Old Lady, would be a good Old Lady as soon as he decided to slap the crow on her.

"Vanessa...We need-" He started and she felt her heart clamp in two. He never called her Vanessa; it was either Ness or Nessa, the occasional Nessie, but never the full name. She couldn't let him continue so she just kept on talking.

"I was thinking, so much shit is going down around town, maybe now would be a good time to go to Big Bear or Tahoe. Our anniversary trip was put on hold because of that thing so now would be the perfect time. I mean it's not like they need tech all the time and that new guy, Half-Sack, he can do some tech stuff." She knew she was speaking too fast and her voice was rising in pitch but she couldn't seem to stop herself, especially when she saw her Juan just looking at her. She turned away from him and turned up the heat on the burner underneath the spaghetti sauce. If he had food in his mouth he couldn't tell her he didn't want her.

Juice watched Nessa as she flew around the kitchen like a hummingbird. She kept on talking about nonsense and he knew she was trying to stall the inevitable. She knew Milla was coming back today, she knew what it could mean. Right now she assumed the worst and when he walked through the door she would have been right. He had every intention of telling her that what they had couldn't compare to what he could have with Milla. He didn't intend to let her off gently; he wanted to hurt her so she would hate him. If she hated him he couldn't feel guilty because then it would be her choice. Now he saw her so desperate to keep him, desperate to be good enough. It suddenly hit him that the desperation had always been there; she'd listened as he'd rambled on about Milla, held her tongue when the name he moaned wasn't hers. She'd wanted him, not his patch and had stayed loyal, even when he'd used road pussy to drown out his pain. She didn't deserve what he was planning on doing, didn't deserve it at all. As she made to pass by him he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her into his lap and smelled her hair. He could stay with her, for a while.

Milla woke up the next morning to a steady tattoo being drummed on her head. She opened one eye and saw Little Clay happily hitting his hands on her head. While he played she slowly moved her hand up and before he could react she grabbed him and tickled him while she held him to the bed.

"Mama pee." He giggled and Milla knew better than to ignore it so she took him to the bathroom down the hall and helped him out of his pull-up. Once he was done she took him to the kitchen and set him in the high chair Opie and Donna had been good enough to set up for him. While he sat and played she looked around the kitchen and was pleased to see that everything was where Donna usually kept it.

"Want some pancakes baby?" She asked and Little Clay nodded while she took out the ingredients and skillet. By the time everyone got up she'd have a world-class breakfast for them. It was the least she could do.

She had finished her first pancake when she heard the front door open. Immediately on alert she held the spatula like a weapon and looked around the corner. Unfortunately it was the wrong corner.

"I smell pancakes, are you cooking again Ellie?" Milla heard Donna's voice and turned around in time to see Donna drop her purse. In a flash she was in her best friend's arms and Donna was kissing her cheek. "You're here, you really are."

Milla giggled as tears started to fall and hugged her best friend back. Seeing her family had been huge but she'd still felt like there was something missing, something huge but now that Donna was holding her she knew what that was. She missed her best friend. They hugged for a few more moments before Donna let her go and ushered her to the table with promises that she could continue breakfast later. They had catching up to do.

"I still can't believe you're here." Donna said with a smile as she sipped her coffee. "I wish we could have stayed in touch."

"I don't, you needed the Club's help and I was an exile. I'm glad you honored their wishes. The last thing I'd want would be you not getting the help you need. I love you too much to see that. It doesn't matter though, I'm here now." She smiled and Donna nodded.

"How long are you here for?" She asked and Milla quirked her smile.

"Three weeks, I need to get back to Belfast before... Well I need to get back, but I plan on coming back in a couple of months and seeing if I can't stay longer." She sipped her coffee. "Maybe permanently."

"I won't get my hopes up but I want you to stay too. You seem happy, light, not like you were the last time you visited. Clay looks happy too." Both women looked over at the little boy who was coloring like mad in the coloring book Auntie Donna had grabbed from the coffee table in the living room. Kenny wouldn't mind sharing it.

"I am happy, for the first time in a long time I'm free. No IRA, no Keegan...I'm here with my family, here with..." She let it drift and Donna reached over and patted her hand.

"He was miserable. I kept out of the Club stuff but occasionally Juice would come over to help with something and he'd ask about you. What you were like growing up, did you always have that scar by your lip? He wanted to know everything and he was so polite I couldn't help but tell him. I have a feeling that he's walking on air that you're here." Donna's smile faded for a second. "What does Keegan think?"

"Who gives a damn?" Milla said hotly and Donna raised her eyebrows. "I'm just waiting for him to piss off the wrong person or get caught in the crossfire. Once he's gone I'll cut most of my ties to Belfast and move here with my baby. After last night I know I have a lot of reasons to stay. One reason in particular"

Donna didn't say anything because there was nothing to say. Milla wanted to come home and she wanted the man who made her life miserable to pay. Those were worthwhile goals in Donna's book and she'd support Milla no matter her course. With a smile she patted Milla's hand and the two rose to make breakfast, they'd have a hungry group in a few minutes and needed to be prepared.

Gemma pulled into the driveway at Opie's house. As Donna's domain, the matriarch knew she wasn't welcome but they were harboring her baby and grandbaby which meant that she had right to be there for the few minutes it took to pick them up. She smirked as she thought about Donna saying they weren't family. She'd bet good money that those words would've never come out of her if Milla had made the offer. With that thought she got out of the car and walked to the front door. She rang the doorbell and patiently waited and was shocked by the sight that greeted her.

"Hey Gemma, Milla and Little Clay will be ready in a few minutes. Want to come in for some coffee?" Donna was all smiles as Gemma stood and simply stared at her, unsure how to approach this happy person who usually reserved most of her venom for her.

"I'll just come in and sit for a minute then." Donna just nodded and walked her into the kitchen where Ellie was playing peek-a-boo with a giggling Little Clay. Gemma smiled at the kids playing and looked over to see Donna looking at her with the smile still on her face.

"It's great that she's home isn't it?" She asked and Gemma just nodded.

"Took the words right out of my mouth darlin'." Both women continued to smile as their verbal ceasefire moved into truce territory. If Milla stayed any longer they might even have to sign treaties. They continued to watch the kids in comfortable silence as they waited for Milla to finish getting ready. Gemma was taking them to St. Thomas so Milla could meet her nephew and Little Clay could see his cousin. Their family was back together and they needed to know each other.

"Hey Ma, sorry I kept you waiting." Gemma looked up and scanned her eyes over her daughter. This young woman wasn't the same one who went to Belfast. This Milla's face had aged by years and she was dressed in clothes her baby would never have worn. The jeans were too tight and the top was too low cut. Hell, this Milla even had tits that Gemma was sure were the product of padding and lifting technology. It was all, in a word, odd.

"Hey Baby, ready to go meet your nephew?" She asked and Milla smiled as she leaned down to kiss the top of Ellie's head and unhook her baby from his seat.

"Yep, we're ready." She balanced Little Clay on her hip and turned to Donna. "We'll be back later. We'll go to dinner at Stumpy's, my treat. It's been forever since I had a real burger."

Donna nodded and gave Milla one last squeeze before she kissed the little boy who seemed to have already fallen in love with his Auntie Donna. With a quick wave they went out the door and Gemma took Little Clay from his Mama while Milla took out her cell.

"We're heading to St. Thomas Hospital, just follow the black Cadillac. Ok Doyle, I'll let Jimmy know. Thanks for cooperating." Milla hit a button and looked over at her Mother who raised her eyebrows. "What? You knew he was here. I'm just making sure he does his job and doesn't get in trouble."

Gemma simply nodded and motioned for Milla to get in the car. She felt uneasy about Milla working for the Irish but she understood that sometimes you were forced to do things you didn't want to do to survive.

Gemma led Milla down the hallways as they made their way to Abel's room. She had wanted to bring her there yesterday but with the party and the jet lag had decided that it was best to let Milla get some rest before she took her to see the newest addition to the family. Soon enough they were at the room and Gemma pursed her lips as she saw the doctor bitch holding Abel. This was just what she needed, the bitch distracting her other kid.

"Tara?" Milla asked as she held a struggling Little Clay who wanted to see the baby in the room. Milla set him down but held his hand while she looked at her mother.

"Guess I forgot to tell ya she's back." Gemma continued to purse her lips while Milla lightly rapped on the window and got Tara's attention. She waved as Tara's eyes got wide and she motioned for them to come in. Milla nodded and looked at her mother who leaned down to pick up Little Clay before they went in. Milla had every intention of talking to Tara, asking her why she was back in Charming, when she clearly saw the little boy for the first time. She immediately fell in love when his bright blue eyes met hers and he made a gurgle.

"May I?" Milla asked and Tara nodded before she rose and set Abel in Milla's arms and guided her to the rocking chair. Milla sat and stared at the little boy who had her brother's eyes and the same cheeky look. He was beautiful.

"Who's this?" Tara asked brightly as she looked at Little Clay who was shyly pressing his face to his grandma's neck.

"Clarence Harry Rafferty, my son. You can call him Little Clay for short." Milla said softly as she managed to tear her eyes away from the little boy in her arms.

"So this is Little Clay, you're Uncle Jax loves you a lot." Milla watched as Little Clay picked his head up, deciding that if this lady knew Uncle Jax, she had to be alright.

"He loves his Uncle Jax." Milla said quietly before she looked at her mother who understood the message and knelt down so Little Clay could see his cousin. Tears came to both women's eyes as Little Clay ran a hand softly over Abel's face. This was the new generation and they'd be damned if they'd be separated again.


...


Author's Note: I'm sorry if that was dull but this chapter is a bridge to show Milla getting comfortable at home again. I promise the next couple of chapters will have that drama you love and crave. Regardless of the pace of the story it feels so good to get to work on this story again. I hope to have a new installment up every week and there will be a new installment of Domesticity up within the next couple of days. With classes and my Practicum I don't have as much time as I used to but I'll keep this up. It's too therapeutic not to.