A/N: Ok, I am IMMENSELY sorry for the long wait. So this is the longest chapter so far...It's not quite as perfect as I wanted it to be, but it's something right? I switched from Windows to Apple a week ago, and somehow when I was bringing all the documents over, all my fanfic got corrupted.. Yes, it sucks, and then I travelled halfway across the globe to Brazil and stayed in a lot of places with no wifi. So I know it's still no excuse, so I'm sorry.
Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious
Chapter 8: I Love You.
Jade's POV:
I didn't fall asleep like I hoped to. I was almost there though, in that phase just before you sleep, when you're barely aware of anything in the outside world. I wonder what it would be like to constantly be in that dream like state. To be there, yet not there. That state where you're so vulnerable, one little thing, the rustle of the leaves, or the banging of the door can seem cause you to sit up in a panic.
But it wasn't either of those that triggered me. No such luck for me I guess, it was Tori Vega laughing on her cellphone.
"Yeah! I know right?" –pause- "Who cares about what she thinks? She deserves it!" she exclaimed into her pearphone as she walked pass Beck's car. I shrunk down, I didn't want to let Tori see me like this.
"Oh c'mon Trina! For once can't you be happy for me?" she trailed on happily.
"Ugh," I moan, her happiness is sickening. I lean back in my seat and release my knees from my arms. I take deep breaths, not wanting to relive old memories. So I think of Beck. Beck and his breathtaking smile. His innocent face he pulled on when I catch him doing something behind my back. His sly grin whenever he makes me jealous. When his brows knit in concern for me and his brown eyes melts my heart.
Thinking of which, where is that guy? The bell had rang at least 10 minutes ago, students had trailed out the doors, getting into cars, catching buses, hailing cabs. But he wasn't one of them. I'm tempted to just get out and find him myself, but my face is a mess. Mascara and eyeliner were washed off by my tears and had drawn black lines on my cheeks. My eyes were still red and puffy from all the crying.
I sighed and sat up again, staring out the window. Then I saw him, rushing out of the door, his bag slung low on one shoulder. He looked angry. His eyes were cold, his lips set in a hard line. He sighed, running his hand through his hair as he continued to stride towards the car. He looked frustrated too. Then he caught me watching him and his expression changed. He put on an easy smile and walked even more hurriedly to my side, opening the door.
"Looks like someone was waiting for me," Beck says with a smug air.
"Rather impatiently, might I add," I reply, raising my eyebrow.
"My apologies ma'am, I had to see Ms. Paula about something." He reaches for my hand and lifts it up to kiss it. I give him a wry smile, it's been a while since he's acted like this.
"Oh is that so, well then I guess you couldn't help it then," I say casually playing along.
"Not at all ma'am," he answers as he pulls me closer. I'm sitting on his lap now, our faces inches apart.
"Then I guess you're forgiven then," I say nonchalantly. But then he grins and pulls me in, crushing my lips to his. When we pull away for air he doesn't let go, instead he just hugs me, resting his head on my shoulder.
"Everything will work out alright Jade. So don't be scared," he murmured.
I open my mouth to retort back, to say that I'm not scared, but he knows me to well. "Okay," I say simply.
He lets go and walks to the other side of the car and gets in, pulling the seatbelt on before driving away.
"So what should we do today?" he says as he turns out of HA.
"Aren't we going back to the RV?" I ask him.
"Nah, let's go shopping." He says with a large grin. I raise my eyebrow. "Shopping," I clarify. This is very suspicious…
"Shopping!" he exclaims, in a very Cat like manner, and the insanity of it all causes me to laugh.
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah! Why not right?" he turns to look at me. "When's the last time we really went out for fun?" he asks. Now that I think about it, he's right. We've hardly ever left the RV since almost forever.
"Fine, let's go," I say with a sigh. He cheers and yells like a toddler going to Disney world. I just roll my eyes, wondering how he does it. How the hell does he just lift me like that? Dragging out all that pented up shit that was in me.
We end up in a small town 5hrs away from Hollywood, arguing about the music selection all the way:
"Frank Sinatra." I say in disbelief.
"Hey don't diss Sinatra! He's a good singer!"
"He's dead!" I snap back. "At least pick someone like Bocelli! With talent! And alive!"
"What's wrong with dead people?" he complains.
"Did I say there was anything wrong with them?" I throw my hands in the air.
"So I guess you don't like Michael Jackson anymore then? Or Ella Fitzgerald? Or even the Beatles?"
"Oh don't start with the Beatles! Paul's still alive!" I hiss.
"Mmhmm?" he just whistles the chorus of 'Here Comes the Sun' innocently, knowing I love the Beatles.
"Can't you stick to the current music?" I turn the knob.
"Bon Jovi?" he just stares at me. He turns again.
"Oh my god, Beck! Mamma Mia?" He shrugs, singing along to 'Dancing Queen'. I can't believe him. I turn the knob.
"ACDC? Are you kidding?" turn.
"Britney Spears?" turn.
"Avril Lavigne?"
"I like her… Don't turn that knob Beck! Don't you dare-" turn.
"Jade! You like this song!" he objects trying to push my arm away.
"I don't care!" I yell pushing him away and reaching for the knob. There's a short silence when we're just cruising though the static. Then the faint sound of music comes through.
"Miley Cyrus? Really Jade? Really?"
"Better than Mamma Mia! God!" I scream. And it went on. Eventually though, we ended up on Taylor Swift. We both liked her.
We ended up at the more just in time for dinner though. But there's noting much, so we settle for pizza hut.
"Where do you wanna go now?" he asks me, holding me from my back, his arms around my waist.
"Honestly Beck, there's nothing much here," I reply, leaning into his chest.
"Nonsense! Look there's a supermarket!" he points.
"What are we doing? Grocery shopping?" I laugh.
"Why not? I'm sure they have a candy section!"
"What is wrong with you today?" I turn so I'm facing him, "You usually hate shopping! And your enthusiasm is becoming something akin of Cat's emotions. I'm starting to think that you're being – mmph!" Beck interrupts me with another kiss.
"Being?" he inquires slyly when he pulls away, still holding on to my waist.
"Incredibly sweet," I answer, before realizing what just said. My eyes widen and I bite my lip. Shittttt… I can so imagine Beck's reaction. No one will be able to stop him from gloating for the next few decades.
"Oh ho ho! Jade! I believe this is the first romantic comment in our entire 2 year relationship!" He exclaims smugly.
"11 months," I grumble, pulling away from him and stalking off, crossing my arms.
"Oh c'mon Jade! You know you wanna," he tries to pull me back, and I turn around abruptly. "Oh don't you start the 'you know you wanna' with me." I snap.
"Okay, I'm sorry, really!" he attempts to look serious when he sees the skepticism splashed on my face. "I'll make it up to you. I will." Then he grins, and I'm sure he's thought of another immature idea.
"I'll do it right now," he says the grin plastered on his face even though my eyebrow has been permanently raised. "Okay, just stay here, rightttt here," he instructs positioning me in the center of the passage in between the various stores and designer labels.
"Whatever this is Beck, you better make sure you don't regret it." I threaten darkly.
"You'll love it!" he exclaims and slowly he backs away from me. All of a sudden I'm very suspicious. I take a glance behind me but I see nothing remotely dangerous.
"Beck?" I say my voice coming out a pitch higher than usual. I take a few steps forward.
"Stay there!" he urges putting out his hand to stop me. I huff but stay there in anticipation.
"Ready?" mouths to me, now around 6 meters away from me. I nod, waiting for it to be over. Maybe he was going to run and jump on me. Or do a stupid dance. I just hope it doesn't embarrass me.
I can see Beck's grin in anticipation. Then he cups his hands around his mouth and yells, " JADELYN MARIE WEST, I LOVE YOU!" A shocked silence fills the air, but he's not done yet, "I REALLY, REALLY," he stops for a breath, "LOVE YOU!" he shouts.
I am stunned into silence. Around me the shopping mall erupts into cheers and clapping.
"You go man! You got guts!" some random guy shouts, as Beck walks slowly back to me. Actually, no, not walking, sauntering would be a more proper word. He reaches me in 3 strides, pulling me towards him for a passionate kiss. The crowd just went even more wild. He pulls away and looks to the numerous shoppers, store owners and other bystanders before bowing twice, to the left and to the right.
Finally, I snap out of it. "You are so dead," I seethe, pulling him away from the center of attention and into the supermarket.
"I can't believe you did that!" I turn to look at him.
"I take it I'm forgiven?" he's still acting so smug it pisses me off.
"Oh god I need a coffee." I press the palm of my hand to my forehead. He just laughed happily. I'm secretly happy he did that and he knows it. Beck's never been so outspoken about our relationship. That part usually falls to me and he knows it.
We continue to walk through the produce aisles. The supermarket is huge, almost as big as Walmart. It's also deserted, save for a few middle aged mothers and Beck and I. He grabbed the large shopping cart though I didn't think we'd buy anything.
"These oranges look good. Do you want an orange Jade?"
"I'd rather stuff a banana up your ass." He knows full well that I hate oranges, and bananas…
"But I'd rather you don't," he just replies cheekily. I don't answer, so he starts up again. "Ooh look Jade, bananas!" I turn around, readily equipped with another round of sarcastic remarks when one of those middle aged mothers bump into me, stepping on my foot with a ridiculously high heel for someone her age. Especially when she's just in a supermarket. Ridiculously sharp too.
I let out a string of curses, as I hop around the aisle, grabbing my foot.
"You okay?" he asks, concerned.
"Do I look okay?" I snap.
"Let me see," he murmurs but I move out of his grasp.
"I'm fine," I say, overwhelmed by the sudden influx of concern for me.
"Jade, don't make me do it," he threatens lightly.
I raise my eyebrow for what seems like the billionth time today. "Do what?"
"This," he say, lifting me up and dumping me in the shopping cart.
"Beck!" I squealed surrounded by the columns of metal bars. I try pushing myself out but he pushes me back down.
"Ready?" he whispers into my ear.
"Ready? What do you mean read-" I got cut off as he started to push the cart at a rapid speed down the aisle.
"Beck!" I shriek, "We're gonna crash!" I yell, but suddenly, the cart swerves and we turn into the next aisle, slowing down to a leisurely pace.
"Don't worry, I got you," he says, leaning down on the cart handle so his chin rests on my shoulders.
"I hate you," I mutter, but he just chuckles contendedly.
"I love you," he says, before tipping my chin up with his finger so he can kiss me. I smile, maybe there is hope in this world after all.
Eventually we left the supermarket. We didn't buy anything in the end. Not even the bananas, despite Beck's persistent pestering. We settled back into the RV, snuggling in bed. I lay on his chest, his arms around me as I drift of to sleep.
"Jade," his voice pierces through the still night.
"What?"
"What did your dad say? In the carpark."
I stiffen, as memories of today come back. It seemed like that all happened weeks ago.
"He said I had to drop the case," I say finally.
"What did you tell him," he prompts.
"I said I would," I turn around knowing that he'd object to this. "Beck, I have no intention of going to court with this. It's a small place, word will get around."
"Isn't that better than sitting there and taking all his blows?" he asks, his arms tighten protectively.
"No. I don't want anyone to know. I'm sick of people always staring and acting like they're better than me. I can't stand it!" I exclaim.
"No one would ever be better than you Jade, you. Wait." He looks me right in the eye. "What do you mean you're sick of it? Meaning you've gone through it before?" I freeze, lowering my gaze, but he continues on anyway, "Have you told anyone else about this? Were you in another," he pauses, thinking of how to ask the question. "Have you gone to court before Jade?"
"No," I answer, because I can, and because he's so close to the truth. "It's just an expression Beck."
"No it's not," he says firmly. "Look at me Jade." I don't. "Look at me." I raise my gaze finally.
"You're hiding something from me."
I take in a sharp breath. He's right, of course he is. But he looked heartbroken when he said those words. Like he thought I didn't trust him. But I do. I trust him more than anyone else on this planet. I just couldn't tell him. His whole view of me would change.
"It wouldn't change a thing about us," he says as if he read my mind.
"Of course not," I murmur, running my fingers through his hair carelessly.
"Please Jade,"
So I told him. What else could I do? I told him everything, from start to end. And then I let him hold me as I sobbed into his chest until I cried myself to sleep.
"I love you Jade. I always will." I heard him murmur before finally going under.
A/N: So I tried to make this a happy story, since Jade's been through crap the last few days. Hope you enjoyed.
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kimi
