Warriors: The Cycle of the Night Flower
Book 1: Budding Moon
Chapter 8

"Use the tunnels?" Rabbittail repeated in a taken back voice, falling a step backwards. "As camp?"

"It sounds ridiculous, I know..." Lilyshadow muttered, flattening her ears and swishing her tail back and forth as she tried not to look at the other she-cat.

"I don't know..." the WindClan warrior said softly in an almost sympathetic tone. "You might have a hard time getting Briarstar to fork over what was once WindClan territory." Lilyshadow's ears lurched forward, making it obvious she was intending to listen. With a sigh, Rabbittail leaned forward and spoke quietly, out of shot of the other two WindClan cats behind her. "The Clans didn't always live here around the Lake," she began. Lilyshadow nodded. She knew the stories of how the four Clans had once lived in an amazing forest and gathered every moon in a clearing with four great oak trees, but were drove out by Twolegs to the home they now reside in. "Even farther back then that, back in the old territory, WindClan cats were trained as tunnelers!" The black she-cat's eyes blinked in surprise. "The tradition was outgrown when we started chasing rabbits out on the open moor rather than into their burrows... But when we came to the new territory and we discovered the tunnels, they were declared ours. They span all the way through WindClan, ThunderClan, and some ShadowClan territory so they were used for raids. But all the activity had supposedly made the tunnels collapse!" Rabbittail paused. "I guess that part was legend..." Lilyshadow growled to herself. How could she convince the other Clans to let her have the tunnels? They were one-way accesses to the other territories, not that she'd be planning any raids.

"You say WindClan doesn't use these tunnels anymore?" she asked. Rabbittail shook her thin head.

"But you'll have to come up with some pretty strict rules for yourself to get the other leaders to agree to it, I'm sure," she added quickly.

"That's the place, though!" the black she-cat breathed. "I just know it!" The brown WindClan cat's whiskers furrowed for a moment.

"Good luck, Lilyshadow," she murmured, getting to all four paws and making the black she-cat look up. "Some cats agree with the creation of the new Clan..." Lilyshadow could tell by the look in her eyes that this she-cat was one of them.

"Why do you support it?" she couldn't help but ask. She followed Rabbittail's gaze as it shifted over her shoulder to Desertwing and Rosepaw as they talked and weaved around the border.

"Things have been changing around the Lake lately..." she muttered, her whiskers drooping.

"What things?" The words jumped out of Lilyshadow's mouth before she realized it and for a moment Rabbittail looked surprised.

"Cats have been changing... and there have been more rogues around lately..." The black she-cat's thoughts drifted back to the band of rogues that Lionfang had helped push out just before the Gathering, the same ones that had injured Stoneflight. So... WindClan was experiencing rogue problems just like ThunderClan? Rabbittail's voice broke her train of thought. "Whatever the new Clan is here to help fight off, don't forget that not all cats are against you." Lilyshadow's eyes flashed with gratitude and she dipped her head to the WindClan warrior.

"Thank you."

"Hey, new-Clan-kitties!" snapped Desertwing as he padded over to them, showing Lilyshadow his teeth. She scowled at the nickname. "Shouldn't you be getting back to ThunderClan?" Lilyshadow looked over her shoulder at the group of her cats gathered around an exhausted and somewhat dirty-looking Snowpaw as her brother rasped his tongue over her back leg - as if it would help.

"We should..." the black she-cat growled softly, eyeing Desertwing with disdain. She turned back to Rabbittail. "Thanks again for your help." The two she-cats exchanged a nod and the WindClan cats began to turn away. Lilyshadow watched them for a moment before calling out suddenly, like she couldn't help it. "Rabbittail!" The lean, brown she-cat turned to look one last time. "Do you think you can...ask for me...?" The WindClan warrior looked down sadly, but then flicked her tail.

"I'll...see what I can do," she replied and bounded away onto the moor, Desertwing and Rosepaw on her paws. Lilyshadow watched them go, feeling a sudden pang of guilt for the WindClan apprentice as she struggled to keep up. She'd feel sorry for any cat with Desertwing as a mentor!

"We need to get Snowpaw back to camp," came the stern mew from beside her. She turned and suddenly saw Stripedshadow at her flank. She blinked once, then nodded. Her blue eyes went over the group of cats.

"Uh... Okay.." She eyed her dark-pelted friend. "Stripedshadow, divide the rest of the cats into two patrols and finish marching the borders," she directed in a choppy voice. "Berrypelt and I will take Snowpaw back to camp." The black tabby's green eyes sparkled at her for a moment and he flicked an amused ear in her direction, but got to his paws and followed her orders nonetheless. Flanking Snowpaw's left, and Berrypelt her right, they propped her up between their shoulders and helped stagger the injured apprentice back to camp. The travel back went on in more-or-less silence, but Lilyshadow kept her eyes on a worried-looking Berrypelt. His gaze wouldn't leave his sister's face and he wouldn't so much as twitch a toe without making sure she could make the move as well. When the three of them finally made it back to ThunderClan camp, Lilyshadow was happy to break the awkward silence. Heads were already turning the moment they pushed their way through the bramble tunnel, but Lilyshadow shouted out anyway.

"Snowpaw needs help!" She was about to yell for Patterenedflower when a blur of brown and white streaked across the clearing, a green bundle in her jaws.

"I got it!" Spiritpetal said between the leaves as she trotted up the cream-pelted cats, dropping the herbs on the ground. The black she-cat cast them sympathetic looks and turned to leave her to work.

"What happened?" growled Twistedtail as he cantered towards her. She suddenly felt her ears grow hot and it was as if a large chunk of mouse was caught in her throat at the sight of his authority. The old tabby's nose twitched and his eyes tightened. "You have WindClan scent all over you!" he hissed. "What happened?"

"Snowpaw fell into the underground tunnels out of no where," she explained quickly as she tried to sharpen her gaze but probably only succeeded in making herself look more frightened. "We got some WindClan cats to show us a way into the tunnels so we could rescue her." The ThunderClan deputy looked her over skeptically and after a moment of huffing to himself, seemed to buy the story.
"Fine," he grumbled.

"Where is Hollowstar?" Lilyshadow bleated, Twistedtail having almost not finished his word. The deputy looked slightly bemused at the sudden outburst but looked over her head anyways.

"She took a large hunting patrol out earlier," he responded. "She won't be back for a while." Lilyshadow could've groaned loudly at that news. Twistedtail didn't spare her a moment more for questions and padded past her into the crowd of cats that were looking on at Spiritpetal as she worked on Snowpaw. Taking a moment to survey the camp, Lilyshadow noticed that (besides the cats she knew were with Stripedshadow) it was missing Cloverfur, Ashpaw, Adderstorm, and Ghosttail - a healthy mix of her cats and ThunderClan cats. With a sigh, she plopped her hindquarters onto the ground. What was she going to do now? She looked this way and that and finally, in a desperate hope to get out of the crowd, decided to step into the nursery.

She pushed her way inside, instantly enveloped in warmth as if this den held in more heat than the others. Her eyes blinked once, then twice in the dimmer light before they fell on Redmarigold in the back corner of the den with Owlkit and Redkit nestled tightly up to her belly. They had grown a little since she had seen them last, and their eyes were starting to open.

"I keep telling them it's past time for their eyes to open," came the squeak from the other side of the den. Lilyshadow looked up to see Hollykit laying boredly across her mother. The soft, young she-cat was a nice size and easily ready to be apprenticed; for a moment, Lilyshadow wondered why Hollowstar hadn't held her apprentice ceremony yet.

"Hollykit!" her mother scolded. A deep, calm chuckle rose from the chest of the blazing ginger tabby next to Lilyshadow in the darkness, and she turned her blue eyes back to the older queen.

"Quite alright, Pearlnose," she chortled. "I agree with you! It is time!" she purred and nuzzled the two bundles happily. Lilyshadow felt her gaze soften at the affection for just a moment. Owlkit was chomping determinedly at her brother's ear, flexing her tiny paws as she attempted to roll on top of him; although they were moving so slow it was almost impossible to notice.

"I don't know about them, but I'm ready to get out of here!" Hollykit wailed again, bounding over Pearlnose as her mother rolled her eyes. Lilyshadow's ears lurched forward as the almost-apprentice dropped herself right beside Lilyshadow's front silver paws. "I'm really ready for my mentor!" The black she-cat chuckled down at her.

"I wonder who it'll be?" she played along. Her mind quickly ran over the ThunderClan warriors lacking apprentices. There weren't many, and all of them were young. "What about Foxface?" Hollykit and her mother looked at the black she-cat and blinked.

"Foxface is her father," Pearlnose said with a nervous giggle.

"Oh," Lilyshadow muttered, ears hot. She knew Clan cats hardly ever mentored their kits. She just now realized Hollykit's sharp angled face and ears, much like Foxface's, even though she shared her mother's snow-white pelt.

"My son would make a great mentor though..." sighed a wistful Redmarigold blankly. Lilyshadow's eyes fluttered in the dark.

"Son?" she repeated.

"Yes," the red tabby nodded proudly. "Him and Flamefoot both. They're brothers." The black she-cat thought for a moment. It made since; they were both a lot alike in appearance.

"So this isn't your first litter?" Lilyshadow went on. She almost thwacked herself in the head with her tail; that was a dumb question. Then her whiskers seemed to curl in disgust as she thought of something. "Surely not all with Jaggedtooth?"

"Oh StarClan, no!" Redmarigold purred. "Foxface and Flamefoot were my first litter, and Bristlepaw was from my second." Lilyshadow once again blinked in surprise, and she got the sneaky feeling that Redmarigold was once of those Clan cats that did their part for the Clan by staying in the nursery. The queen didn't seem like much of a fighter or a hunter anyway. "And these two bundles of joy are my third, but... they're my first with Jaggedtooth." The red queen seemed to get hung up on the broken-toothed warrior's name. Jaggedtooth was Bristlepaw's mentor... Maybe that was how Redmarigold and he had gotten together? Through the red queen's daughter? Lilyshadow went over the orange fur of Bristlepaw's, Foxface's, and Flamefoot's pelts in her mind. Surely the toms and the apprentice shared the same father?

"What happened to your first mate?" she asked without thinking, then wished she could take the nosey question back when she saw the twang of grief written all over Redmarigold's face. "I'm sorry! I shouldn't hav-"

"Redmarigold's old mate killed Bristlepaw's two sisters!" Hollykit exclaimed.

"Hollykit!" Pearlnose shouted, scuffing her daughter roughly across the ears.

"It's alright, Pearlnose," the older queen said slowly, her eyes focused on her current kits. The glossy layer in Lilyshadow's eyes made them appear almost as if they were quivering, and she suddenly felt her paws grow weaker as her ears flattened back against her skull.

"Redmarigold... I'm so sorry..." she whispered in the dark of the nursery. The red queen shook her head.

"It's not your fault... It was before you were with us," she went on, paused, then exhaled loudly. "Pantherear never wanted daughters..." she added. Lilyshadow's claws slipped out of their sheathes and flexed against the soft nursery floor, but this went unnoticed.

"What kind of cat could kill his own kits?" she scowled in her mind.

"I am just glad that Flamefoot got to him in time, or I would've lost Bristlepaw as well," she sighed, then gazed at the wall as if it reflected something that only she could see. "She does look so much like him though..." Lilyshadow imagined Bristlepaw's black fur with splashes of orange fur like scratch marks. A tom that looked like that...? Her eyes fell down to the small cups of fur against Redmarigold's belly and a blaze went through her. Ice eyes narrowed and she turned sharply on her paws. She barreled out of the nursery, shoving past Moontalon as she entered. Her fast pace broke in the center of the clearing where she almost stumbled to a stop, pacing back and forth anxiously.

"How could someone do something like that?" she yowled outloud when she couldn't take it anymore.

"Something like what?" came the peep behind her, making her jump forward in surprise. She turned around to see a fluffy-furred Bearclaw with his usual goofy disposition.

"Hey..." she muttered lamely, casting her gaze sideways. "Nothing."

"Nothing, nothing," the tabby mocked with an amused smirk. "You were pacing." He paused and there was a moment of silence since Lilyshadow refused to speak. "What were you doing in the nursery?"

"Just talking to Pearlnose and Redmarigold..." she said absentmindedly. For some reason this got a chuckle out of the marbled tabby tom.

"Talking to queens?" he repeated, taking a step closer to her. "Not making plans are you?" For a moment Lilyshadow sat still, as if trying to decode his words, but she jumped back when she felt his flank brush against hers, and her hackles raised as she realized the message.

"What?" she squeaked. "No!" The words came out a bit harsher than she had meant them, and a couple sets of eyes around the clearing zeroed in on her. Her ears flattened hotly as she tried to flatten her fur. Meanwhile, Bearclaw was chuckling at her reaction. "You're a she-cat!" he exclaimed. "You've got to have kits sometime!" Lilyshadow could practically feel the twitch in her back teeth as she felt the urge to bite down on his tail as hard as she could. How much more sexist could you get? It was up to a she-cat as to whether or not she wanted to have kits! A jet of fury flurried through her, starting in her ears, and blazing downwards into her paws where it came out in the form of her claws. Her muscles tensed.

"Why you - !" She was getting ready to tackle him when out of no where the bright white-and-brown pelt of Spiritpetal stepped between them. Lilyshadow had been so annoyed by Bearclaw she hadn't even noticed her presence.

"Lilyshadow?" the herb-smelling she-cat cooed. "Can we talk?"

"Uh..." she stammered, uncoiling her muscles. "Sure." Spiritpetal nodded and led her away with a flick of her tail, but Lilyshadow was sure she felt Bearclaw's gaze boring into her pelt as she left. "Thanks," she sighed after they were out of ear-shot. "I was about to claw his ears off." Spiritpetal looked like she wanted to spare the black she-cat an amused look, but something else in her eyes seemed to be nagging at her fur. "What is it?" Lilyshadow asked, immediately sensing something was wrong.

"I had a dream last night," she began and the black she-cat's interest was piqued at once. She stepped forward, paws anxious and ears upright. "I was in a dark..." She paused, looking for the right word. "...not den... It was as large as a clearing... almost a cave... It smelled like I was underground!" Lilyshadow couldn't believe what she was hearing. "And I saw this bright stone, jutting up out of the ground. Everything felt so cool and welcoming...like... I was supposed to go there!" Lilyshadow could hardly keep her paws still from excitement. "Do you think it's a dream from StarClan?" she asked slowly.

"Is it?" Lilyshadow repeated. "Of course it is! Spiritpetal, that's amazing! That's the underground clearing that Snowpaw fell into!" The brown-and-white she-cat's eyes glittered with surprise.

"Do you think... that... I'm supposed to be the new Clan's medicine cat?" she questioned, stuttering between words. Lilyshadow sighed with relief.

"That's the only thing I'm sure of, Spiritpetal," she chuckled and this time the other she-cat purred in amusement with her.

"Well, I need to get back to the medicine den," Spiritpetal beamed. Lilyshadow nodded and remembered that the medicine cats must be busy. A lot of cats were being quarantined to the medicine den.

"All my cats..." she thought bitterly. Spiritpetal's voice broke her mental scolding. "Oh, I think Patterenedflower sent Silverstorm out to collect some goldenrod for us since we're so busy here. It grows well this time of year so he'll probably have more than he can carry. Can you go help him, please?" She didn't give Lilyshadow time to respond and bounded off across the clearing again. The black she-cat shrugged. Why not? It would give her something to do. Plus, Silverstorm knew Hollowstar better than any other cat. Maybe he could tell her what the ThunderClan leader would think of her tunnel idea.

Talking with Spiritpetal had put Lilyshadow back in a Clan-construction mood after her depressing conversation with Redmarigold and her even more aggravating conversation with Bearclaw. So when she found Silverstorm clawing through a patch of yellow, dust-like flowers just beyond ThunderClan camp, she was eager to talk.

"Hey," she meowed as she approached the handsome tom cat. His white fur held its traditional silver tinge in the bright sunlight. "Spiritpetal sent me to help you carry goldenrod," she explained.

"Thanks," he beamed as he continued plucking the flowers with his claws. "I hear Snowpaw fell underground. Is she okay?" Lilyshadow was glad he had been so kind to bring up the topic for her.

"We think she broke her leg," she replied and she saw genuine sympathy flash across the young warrior's face.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, stopping what he was doing. "Your Clan seems to have a stroke of bad luck." The black she-cat felt a pleasant warmth inside her when he said 'Clan', but she couldn't help but deny he was right.

"Yeah, well..." She paused for something; what, exactly, she wasn't sure. "We'll manage. So... I might've found a place for our camp," she went on, moving the conversation along in her direction. The silver tom's ears lurched towards her. "The underground tunnels!" she exclaimed with so much excitement she probably looked like an over-grown kit.

"The ones WindClan used to use for raids a long time ago?" he asked inquisitively, almost as if there were some other set of underground tunnels in the area.

"Yeah," she replied, but with less enthusiasm. "What?"

"You're going to have a hard time convincing the leaders that the tunnels won't give your Clan an unfair advantage," he pointed out. This was nothing that Lilyshadow hadn't been told at least ten times, but she wouldn't get mad at the young warrior.

"I know.." she sighed. "What do you think Hollowstar would say?" Silverstorm was quiet for a moment, then he straightened himself up as if he was steadying them both for his words; Lilyshadow took note that when he wanted too he stood just an ear-length or less taller than her.

"If I were Hollowstar," he began. "I wouldn't mind letting you lead a Clan from the tunnels, Lilyshadow." The black she-cat's heart jumped in her chest. "But... I might not let someone else lead a Clan from the tunnels." She narrowed her eyes in confusion. "You're not about to go raiding any of the other Clans anytime soon," he went on, and Lilyshadow nodded in quick agreement. "But someone else might. Someone else like... let's say... Dirtface?" Lilyshadow couldn't help it when a shiver went down her spine at the mention of the brown-and-red splotched tom.

"He wouldn't..." she said under her breath.

"Would he?" repeated the handsome tom.

Silverstorm and Lilyshadow returned to ThunderClan camp with so much goldenrod in their jaws that pieces were falling out here and there, leaving a trail as they made their way towards the medicine den. The closer they got, Lilyshadow couldn't help but notice a steadily-growing commotion about the camp. A few more cats than usual were crowded around the medicine den entrance. Could Snowpaw have that many visitors? Her and Silverstorm stopped in their tracks and Lilyshadow put down the herbs to ask what was going on, but before she did, all eyes were already on her - or at least, it seemed that way. Every cat turned to lock a stare onto her, and it created a strange tickling on the tips of her hairs.

"Where have you been?" came the strangely cross mew of Berrypelt as he shoved his way out of the crowd to stand directly in front of Lilyshadow.

"Wha...?" she stammered, dumbfounded by his uncharacteristic ferocity. "I... was gathering herbs for Spiritpetal... What's wrong?" Berrypelt's blue eyes were almost as dark as night, and seemed awkwardly large as he starred her down. "What's wrong?" she repeated again. She saw a twitch ripple down the cream-colored tom's spine.

"Lizardclaw's dead!" he snapped. Lilyshadow felt her breathing stop as she recognized the feeling in his eyes: hurt.

"Berrypelt..." she whispered. "I'm... so sorry... I -"
"Where were you?" he asked again, cutting her off. "Where were you when I needed you?"

"I'm sorry...! Spiritpetal asked me to-"

"You knew Snowpaw had gotten hurt!" he cut her off again, his pelt prickling. "You knew we were having a rough time already, and that we needed you! Where were you?" Lilyshadow felt her heart drop into her paws along with all the blood in her body. "And why did he go with you?" the cream warrior went on, flicking an ear towards Silverstorm. She felt cold sweep through her and she felt like a stone sinking beneath the stare he was giving her. She couldn't understand... Did Silverstorm standing beside her mean so much? She stepped towards her friend.

"Berry-" She cut herself off when she watched him take a step back, away from her. His eyes flashed darkly one more time and he turned, disappearing through the crowd of cats back into the medicine den. The heart in Lilyshadow's paws seemed to shake as it tried to beat. She tried to take a breath and it struggled uselessly before shattering. Heaviness set in on her, freezing her to the spot. Her line of sight shifted down to the dirt where her eyes starred lifelessly, her body all but stone.

"You see?" came the unmistakable snarl of Dirtface as he padded towards them, turning heads of other cats around him. Lilyshadow didn't even look up. "I told you!" he ranted on. "See what you've done?" he growled, continuing to march towards her ever fiercely. "Stoneflight was shredded to pieces! Snowpaw has broken her leg! Hollystep is dead, and now so is Lizardclaw!" he raged. "You're going to lead us to our deaths!" Thoughts of the cats he named bolted through her mind and she shook with each one. They were all hurt or gone because she led them here to the Clans...

"How dare you judge her?" bit back the strong voice of the warrior next to her as she smelt goldenrod hit the ground beside her. It was Silverstorm.

"I do dare!" Dirtface hissed back, taking a challenging step towards the ThunderClan warrior. By now they had created quite a fuss and they were surrounded by other cats. "She hasn't helped a single thing go right for us! And now when one of her best friends needed her the most, she was off somewhere else!" Lilyshadow could practically feel claws ripping through her flesh at the splotched tom's words. Actually, part of her wished she would be ripped to shreds right now.

"Lizardclaw's death had nothing to do with her!" Silverstorm retorted. "And the other problems weren't her fault either! She had no way of controlling them!" Why was he defending her?

"When something happens to a member of the Clan it does fall under the responsibility of the leader, does it not?" growled Dirtface. The silver ThunderClan warrior looked on harshly, at a lack of words. The other tom made a point that he couldn't argue with. "And she obviously can't handle it..." Dirtface's words stung her like shards of ice shooting through her. She opened her mouth wider to breathe, but it didn't help any. The black she-cat just continued staring blankly at her paws. "And now..." he went on with a deep-throated growl as he took a step nearer. "She won't even fight back!" He quickly shoved his shoulder against her flank, knocking her to the ground.

"Hey!" Silverstorm jeered and nudged the other tom roughly as if to get him away, but stopped when he noticed that Dirtface wasn't advancing. Rather, he was just glaring down at Lilyshadow with a revolted gaze. Lilyshadow winced silently at the twitch in her stomach from where he had shoved her, and looked up at him to meet his eyes.

"A real leader fights back!" he spat. His words washed over her like the cold of leaf-bare. She looked down at nothing and forced herself to her feet without a word.

"Lilyshadow..." Silverstorm muttered. "Are you ... ?" The black she-cat shook her head before the ThunderClan cat could finish asking. A dissatisfied huff came from the brown-and-red tom.

"You can't even protect your beliefs or yourself..." he said lowly in disgust. "How can I expect you to protect a Clan?" Lilyshadow looked away, refusing to look at him, and said nothing once again. She heard his loud, frustrated screech and the sounds of a few cats stirring in surprise. Then all at once a shearing pain exploded from her right ear as she felt claws rip though the flesh. The sting of hot liquid gushed out of the wound and she let out a painful yowl as she jumped to her feet. Blood tunneled into her ear canal and trickled down the side of her face, dampening her fur. She turned slowly back towards her attacker, eyes registering color and movement very slowly. A blur of black was the first thing she noticed. Stripedshadow, out of nowhere, had just slipped between her and Dirtface. She blinked and steadied herself, shaking her head, although that only sent throbbing pain through her ear. Her eyes fell on Dirtface again, who stood firm as he glared at her despite having it appear as if at least five cats were about to jump on him, Silverstorm and Stripedshadow being among them. She took a boulder-heavy step and found herself leaning against the black tabby, recognizing his scent more than his image. She blinked again. Stripedshadow? The other patrols must be back... That meant...

"What in the name of StarClan is going on here?" came the demanding, regal meow of Hollowstar as she shouldered her way through the mess of cats. A disappointed Twistedtail was by her side. When the ThunderClan leader's eyes fell on Lilyshadow and her bloody ear, then Dirtface's extended claws, she batted her eyes in shock and swallowed. Twistedtail's deep, stern gaze zeroed in on Dirtface.

"What should we do with him, Hollowstar?" the gruff deputy asked. The tall bark-colored-and-white she-cat seemed to think for a moment before she looked at the shell-of-a-Lilyshadow.

"He is not part of ThunderClan..." she said calmly, walking slowly towards the black she-cat. "Let his leader punish him." Lilyshadow blinked once at Hollowstar's words, then heard Dirtface groan as he rolled his eyes. She wheezed in a shaky breath of air and stood stiffly, lumbering towards the brown-and-red tom. Her paws came to a stop when she was a whisker's length in from him.

"You're not going to hit me back?" he asked, sounding annoyed. When Lilyshadow did nothing, he growled angrily. "Come on! Fight back!" he snarled.

"Why should I harm what you tell me I'm supposed to protect?" she said back softly. A few murmurs ran through the throng of cats at her words. Dirtface seemed slightly surprised and took a small step backwards.

"Then...punish me," he retaliated. Lilyshadow's gaze fell once more.

"I won't punish you for being right," she muttered and turned away. The brown-and-red tom cat starred at her in disbelief, as did many of the other cats around them. They watched her walk away slowly, as if her body was heavier than normal, then glared at Dirtface again.

"She should've clawed your face off," growled Lionfang as he shoved past him.

"She should've made you do it yourself!" Adderstorm added hatefully as he walked the other way.

"She should've made him leave..."
Dirtface turned around to face the speaker of the newest comment, wincing as he did. Glaring back at him was a flat-eared Cloverfur.

Lilyshadow had hobbled over to hide in the shadow beneath the Highledge. An unusually distressed Stripedshadow padded up to her front, looking closely at her ripped ear.

"You should go to Patterenedflower..." he said in a voice barely above a whisper.

"No!" she hissed, turning away, her body almost quivering. There was no way she was going into the medicine den... Not with him being in there. He brushed closer towards her, trying to get a look at her face again. He breathed out half of the word 'why' before she shouted back at him, "Because Berrypelt hates me!" The black tabby froze in place. They sat in silence and he watched her shake, refusing to look his way.

"No..." he muttered as he leaned closer. "He doesn't." He rasped his tongue once over the tear in her ear and pulled back. She winced at the stinging pain, then almost wished it was back as he walked away. She sat there alone and quiet for what seemed like a while - until the sun started to set and they brought Lizardclaw's body out into the center of the clearing, arranging him so he appeared to be sleeping as Patterenedflower laced his pelt with herbs. Both Berrypelt and Snowpaw were with the three medicine cats, despite Snowpaw being told she shouldn't; she leaned between Spiritpetal and Berrypelt for balance. Lilyshadow also noticed the three elders pulling slowly out of their den and making their way to the center of the clearing, apparently to sit vigil over Lizardclaw.

"So... are you going to tell me what happened?" came the calm voice to her left. Lilyshadow looked up to see Hollowstar by her side, looking intently at the small group of cats in the middle of ThunderClan camp. The black she-cat did nothing for a moment, then shook her head. "Ah," the leader breathed as if Lilyshadow had actually answered a question.

"Why is Lizardclaw getting a Clan tribute?" she asked quietly, not looking at the white-and-bark-colored she-cat.

"He is an elder," she explained. "All elders deserve respect." There was a pause. "What did you want to tell me that you told Silverstorm?" Had Lilyshadow not been so depressed, she would've been impressed and wondered how the ThunderClan leader knew that.

"That I found a camp that none of the other Clans will probably let us have for a Clan that doesn't even trust me..." she responded in an uncharacteristic condescending tone.

"Why?" Hollowstar asked calmly.

"Because every other Clan will think we're going to raid them if we camp in the tunnels, even though StarClan has showed me that that is where we belong!" she hissed, although at nothing in particular; the more she spoke, the more her fur rose.

"No," the leader said slowly. "Why doesn't your Clan trust you?" Lilyshadow blinked curiously in spite of herself. Did Hollowstar not just hear her news about the new camp?

"I don't know..." she sighed. "Because I keep failing."

"Do you?" the older she-cat shot back. Lilyshadow opened her mouth to respond quickly but then stopped herself. Had she done anything wrong?

"Well... I ... I must've..." she stammered. Hollowstar let out an amused purr, and it was all Lilyshadow could do not to roll her eyes. Why was she laughing at this?

"You remind me of someone else I know that wanted to be a leader but doubted herself," she said. "Do you know what happened to her?"

"She became leader?" Lilyshadow scoffed back with a loud sigh. "I know you're just talking about yourself, Hollowstar." The ThunderClan leader gave the black she-cat a very serious look as she turned to face her.

"No," she replied in a stern tone. "The cat I'm talking about lost herself..." Lilyshadow winced and stared on at the scene of cats sitting vigil in front of her.

"Am I going to lose myself?" she couldn't help but ask. The ThunderClan leader didn't reply at first, but then looked away.

"Only StarClan knows," and with that she walked forward towards Lizardclaw's body and pressed her nose to his clay-brown fur. Lilyshadow looked on for a moment then wobbly got to her paws and followed. She slipped into a space between Hollowstar and Berrypelt, leaning down to press her nose to Lizardclaw's pelt. Instead of closing her eyes however, she glanced over at Berrypelt, hoping to see his dark blue eyes open and looking at her, but no - his eyes were shut and he didn't even acknowledged that she had fell in next to him. She clenched her own eyes tightly and tried not to shiver.

"StarClan, help me..." she prayed in her head. "Let them all trust me..." Her breath caught in her throat and she swallowed for air. Her paws, heavier than ever, felt like they were going to fall out from under her, and she wanted nothing more than to just lean over and press her flank against Berrypelt's. "Let him forgive me..."