A/N: Hi again. I kinda forgot to update this story. I'm sooooorry, real life was nuts for a while and then I saw the Avengers and the Glee kids graduated and so I wrote a story called 'The White Knight' and also there was some Birdflash adorableness that caused feels I needed to rid myself of and so here I am.

/rant.

After Sam came to, though he was still majorly pissed off, his very pregnant and temperamental wife forced him to observe social niceties, such as bringing their guests a hot beverage.

"That's for when they're upset!"

"Are you questioning the mother of your child?"

Sam quickly went into the kitchen after that, mumbling about how he should have married a Japanese woman.

Kerry smiled at the two men seated on their sofa, their young daughter playing with an assortment of blocks and gurgling happily on the floor below them.

"So, how long have you two been together?"

Jim straightened, her sudden change in attitude making him suddenly nervous. "Eh… It's kind of a funny story, actually. Y'see, we aren't together in the traditional sense of the word…"

"Oh? Then you're not together anymore but are civil to each other for Hannelore's sake! I'm impressed, Jimmy boy, I never thought ye could be so mature!"

Jim glared at her as Sam set down the coffees on the side tables on either end of the couch. "First of all, I'm very mature- stop smirking, Sam- and second, there's never been a together to not be anymore! It was a complete freak accident that Hannelore was born, no feelings involved what so ever!"

Kerry looked at him, her expression telling him clearly 'I don't believe you one bit, but for your sake I won't press the issue'. "I see, then. Well, I'm sure that Winona must have screamed somethin' nawful when ye told her she was a Nanna!"

An absolute silence ruled over the room, save Hanners' occasional happy cooing.

"Oh my god, you didn't tell Mom?"

"I-It might have slipped my mind…" Jim muttered, looking away from his brother.

"JIM! When she finds out you have a friggin' one-year-old and didn't tell her she's gonna murder you! If she survives the heart attack she'll inevitably suffer from the shock!"

"And who says she'll ever find out, huh?" Jim retorted indignantly.

Sam groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "Dude, she's our Mother. There is nothing in this entire universe that we can do and she won't find out about eventually."

"Then this is the exception. I hardly see ever even see her, so the chances of her finding out about Hanners are about five billion to one."

Just then, the doorbell rang once more, its tinny chimes filling the house.

"Ugh, great, more people. Sammy, pet, go get the door, would ya? If I try to get up again my feet are gonna fall right off."

Sam willingly obliged her and once again went to answer whoever happened to be calling at that moment. "Hi, how can I- MOM?"

The older woman threw her arms around her eldest son, pulling him into a tight hug. "Hi, Sammy! I was in the area, so I thought I'd stop by and see you and that darling wife of yours!"

Sam swallowed nervously. "W-Well, it's nice of you to come and see us, but, er, n-now really isn't the best time."

Winona released her son, staring at him inquisitively. "And why isn't it, dear?"

"B-Because… uh… well…" Sam honestly couldn't think of a good reason, or at least a lie that his mother would believe.

Forgive me, little brother, for I am about to wrong you. "… Because Jim's here visiting right now." Sam admitted with a guilty sigh.

The former member of Starfleet stared at him in shock for a minute before she rushed into the living room. "Jim, darling? Is that you?"

"MOM!"

With another guilt-infused sigh, Sam returned to the living room to find Jim standing in the middle of it, having the living daylights squeezed out of him care of their mother.

I hate you with every fiber of my being right now, his eyes seemed to growl.

Jerk.

Bitch.

"Oh, Jimmy, how I've missed you! Where have you been, why haven't you called me, I was starting to think that you were dead!"

"I-I'm fine, Mom, other than the fact that someone seems to be trying to suffocate me."

Still their mother didn't release her younger son. Hanners, who had seen the display but somehow had not been noticed by the really scary lady who was making Daddy look like he was hurting, was getting very tired of this old woman trying to make Daddy dead and latched onto her father's leg, screaming, "NO! My Daddy, mine!"

Suddenly, all the commotion stopped as the room's attention turned to the extremely upset toddler currently clinging to Jim's pant leg. Currently, the tiny blonde child was doing her best death-glare, one slightly reminiscent of a certain lieutenant. Unfortunately, Hanners being only a year old, this effort was wasted as it is nearly impossible for a one-year-old to be threatening, save a certain biological son of a certain bat-based superhero.

"Jim," Winona began slowly, "whose child is that?"

Her younger son sighed uneasily, taking the still unhappy girl into his arms. "This, Mom, is my daughter, Hannelore Amanda Kirk. She's a year old, her birthday is April 3rd, and she is the result of an incident involving me, my First Officer- that's him over there, by the way- and some weird alien reproduction crystals. Surprise?"

For a moment, his mother just stared at him in disbelieving shock. Then she raised a shaking hand to her forehead and began to walk towards the door to the back yard.

"I… I need some air."

With that, the screen door slammed shut and the room was left in silence.

Jim glared disapprovingly at his daughter. "And just what do you have to say for yourself, missy?"

The toddler cooed and wrapped her tiny arms around her father's neck.

"I thought so."

-To Boldly Go-

Later that evening, as the sun had begun its surrender to the night, Winona Kirk was still in the back yard, sitting on the creaking mold-colored porch swing and staring into the empty space in front of her.

"Mind if I join you?" Winona looked up to see her younger son smiling at her apologetically, knowing that he was probably in big trouble but facing it.

"… It's a free galaxy." The older woman stated eventually, making room for her son, who sat next to her without another word.

For a moment, the pair sat in silence, either trying to think of a way to start this inevitable conversation or waiting for the other to break the silence.

Finally, Jim couldn't take the tension anymore. "Look, Mom, if you're gonna yell at me, could you please just get it over with so we can move on with our lives?"

Winona chuckled humorlessly. "That's the same thing you said to me when you were ten and you stole Frank's car."

It had been a long time since she'd been able to refer to her ex-husband by his name. For the first few months after the divorce, he was 'He-who-must-not-be-named' in their house, and any mention of him would inevitably end in tears. Then he was simply 'jerk-face' for a while if he was ever mentioned, and finally he was just 'that one guy'. Now he was Frank again, signifying that enough time had finally passed for it to be a long gone source of pain.

Jim smiled, more out of habit than actual fondness at the memory. "I think Frank was angrier about it than you, actually. I coulda sworn I heard you laughing about it later on."

This time, his mother chuckled because it actually was funny. "Yeah well, I always did hate that old piece of crap."

More time passed in silence before Winona spoke again. "I'm sorry, Jim."

Jim did a double take. "Wait, what? Why are you sorry? I'm the one who had a baby and didn't tell you!"

Winona sighed wistfully. "I know. But I also know why you didn't tell me. I… I'm well aware of the fact that I was a pretty shitty excuse for a mother when you and Sam were growing up, and that's not even putting in my leaving you with that abusive asshole I married. I was selfish and could only think about how much you reminded me of your father… how much looking at you, with your blue eyes the same as his, hurt me. A good mother puts her children's needs before her own, and I was too wrapped up in my own pain to see that. I wasn't there for you, and I'm going to be regretting that for the rest of my life."

Another minute passed. Then Jim pulled his mom into a one-armed hug. "Mom… Don't you think I've figured all that out by now? Sure, you weren't the best mom in the world, but I know that Dad's death left you pretty screwed up. The reason I didn't tell you isn't because I have some sort of resentment for you because you never were around. I love you in spite of that. I didn't tell you because I thought that the circumstances that lead to Hanners would cause you to have a heart attack or something."

Winona snorted. "Jimmy, I was a Starfleet officer for more than twenty years. You don't honestly think that finding out I got a granddaughter out of weird circumstances would really do me in, do you?"

Jim laughed. "I guess not, now that I think about it!"

The two laughed for a bit longer before Winona spoke once again. "So, then, about your First Officer-"

"No, I'm not in a relationship with Spock, nor have I ever been in one with him."

"Ah, but you want to be with him, don't you?" The older woman asked with a smirk.

Jim flushed. "Wha- NO! MOM! You know I don't swing that way!"

"Oh, bullshit, Jim, I know all about the boys back in the Academy."

"Wha- HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?"

"Because I'm your mother, I know everything, duh."

-Where No Man Has Gone Before-

After an extremely awkward conversation in which Jim admitted to his mother that he was both bisexual and crazily in love with his First Officer, the Captain finally got around to formally introducing his daughter to her grandmother.

"Hanners, this is your Nana. She's my mommy."

The older woman smiled warmly at the girl, who still looked like she didn't trust this strange lady. After a tense minute, the tiny blonde leaned forward and placed a hand on Winona's forehead, removing it a moment later and leaving everyone very confused when she suddenly thrust out both arms towards her grandmother exclaiming, "Hug! Hug!"

However, no one was unhappy with how it turned out in the end.

A/N: And with that, Shore Leave is over!

Now brace yourselves, because the next chapter will not be so happy.

(I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry)