Chapter 9

God I'd never get enough of that woman, when she turned over on all fours I thought I was going to have a stroke, but god did it feel good she brings out the animal in me taking her like that drove me insane I'm surprised I lasted as long as I did. After I worried I was too rough, but she seemed to like it, which started getting me hard again.

I wanted to tell her I loved her so bad, but it was still too soon I think, I pulled my pants on to grab her some water from the kitchen, I ran downstairs like a little kid dying to get back to Bella quickly just as I was going into the kitchen there was a light rap on the door. It was Tanya, yeah not particularly fond of her but she's Bella's friend, good friend or not I'd play nice this time. I opened the door to find her holding a cardboard box, she looked me up & down her eyes staying on my bare chest longer than I liked. ''well if isn't Oliver Twist, I can see I interrupted something. I was just dropping this off for Bella it's the last of her stuff from her office…well it's my office now.''

She smirked she didn't seem to feel very bad for Bella which pissed me off & she comes here declaring she's taking Bella's office what a Bitch. She shoves the box at my chest. ''you know Bella loved that job, she was always the smart one but now I think she's just dumb, she has to be to choose you over keeping her job''

''what are you talking about'' – ''she didn't tell you, oh boo….. mike doesn't want a hobo loving idiot working for our magazine, he told her she could keep her job as long as she stopped letting you mooch off her & send you on your way to the dogs home but like I said she's dumb she chose you instead, laters.''

I stand at the front door in shock as I watch the bitch drive off in her car. I can't believe Bella would choose me over her career. ''Edward is everything okay down there?'' Bella yells down from our Bedroom, she's probably wondering what's taking so long just to get water. I don't even answer her just go to the kitchen fill a glass for her & make my way back upstairs. ''Hey what took you so long, I missed you'' ''uh, sorry here's your water'' I sit on the edge of the bed sad that my fucked up life is fucking hers up too. She puts her arms around my waist & starts kissing the back of my neck I just want to lose myself in her forever .

''Edward I have to tell you something'' she whispers in my ear''I already know'' ''you…you do?'' ''Tanya was at the door, she told me what happened she brought a box with the rest of your stuff by'' I turn to look at her, she's frozen with a look of sadness of shock & sadness on her face, like that's not what she was going to say, now I feel even worse, I'm such an asshole. ''I'm sorry I didn't tell you the real reason why they fired me I didn't want you feeling bad over this you didn't do anything, this is my mess not yours ok''

she's putting the blame on herself when I am the sole reason she lost her job, & what I'm about to do makes me want to end my life but I need to…for her.''im ruining your life…I think its best if, if we go our separate ways. This just isn't going to work'' – ''what no no no. don't…don't say that'' she grabs my face with her hands & forces me look to look at her but I can't so I close my eyes & press on with the pain. ''Bella I can't do this, it's too much drama I'm used to being free on my own, I'm grateful to you for giving me a roof over my head & food & a warm bed but that's all it was. I need to go now, I'm sure your boss will give you your job back once he knows I'm not in the picture anymore, I'm truly sorry about that.''

She's crying now, I can't take it I need to run from here let her get her life back as soon as possible. '' ''your lying I know you care about me, I didn't tell you because I knew you'd do this you'd blame yourself but you didn't do anything, their just small minded people Edward who care more about appearance & standards I didn't see it before because I was used to being around those kinds of people all the time, but I see now & I don't want to work for them. All I want is you, you can't leave''

It's too much & I'm crying now too. I have to do this, if her job & her friends can turn their back on her because of me how many others will. I look her straight in the eye as I tell her the most evil lie its better that she hates me she'll move on quicker.

''Bella I was playing you, I knew you were naive & innocent I knew I could get you to let me stay for a few days if I played Nice guy but you know what im not & your not the first girl who's virginity I've taken. It's what I do it's who I am do you really think I could have survived ten years on the streets without a game plan. I trick innocent women into sleeping with me so I can crash somewhere for a few days then I move on before it gets heavy….so there you have it. I'll be leaving now.''

''I don't believe you, I know it was more I know you felt what I felt. you said you wanted to find a job & make this relationship work. Please don't do this Edward'' she's hysterical grabbing my arms & trying to stop me from putting my shirt on but I push past her & run downstairs to put my shoes & jacket on. She follows me & I'm two seconds away from getting on my knees to beg her forgiveness for every lie I just told her. 'Edward please …I …I...Love you''

Oh no, no please. I can't turn around to look at her because she'll really know I've been lying my face is soaked with tears, tears because I have to give her up & tears because she Loves me how many times I wished she could love me back & even more I know I have to do right by her. I squeeze my eyes tight as if it'll help. 'I don't love you'' & I walk straight out the door away from the only woman I've ever loved.