Please just read
Oh, and p.s. I wrote this at three a.m. so if it seems like I was drunk, I was just tired.
"Hi." I smiled at Ezra as he opened the door.
His eyes boggled a little at my dress and I pulled at eh hem, self conscious. "Hey." He breathed, that silly smirk coming to his face. "Uh, I mean, um, come in." I giggled lightly, side stepping around him.
I breathed in the apartment. So much like Rosewood, but none of the same essence. "Like the place." I smiled. He smirked, shutting the door. I pointed up to his Foreign Film Press poster, "You still have it."
"'Course I do." Ezra came up, standing next to me. "I've had a hard time getting rid of anything associated with you. But this I wouldn't give this bad boy up anyway." His words burrowed down inside me like a tic, hurting just as much as those parasitic little bastards did. I remembered the day I had gifted this to him, a small and extremely random gift that had turned a kiss into . . . well . . . the first time . . .
"So, um, I still haven't read the poem, Jay." I smiled, hoping my voice didn't sound too thick as I changed the subject.
Ezra was taken aback but then smile sheepishly, realizing now was not a time I wanted to use to dwell on the past. "I have the book here, if you want to." He left to retrieve it. I don't why it tickled me so much but I erupted into laughter.
"Oh no! Your one of those authors!" I smiled. He chuckled and rolled his eyes as he burrowed through his book box. He found the book and handed it to me but I put my hand up.
"Would . . . You read it to me?" I asked. He looked down at it then me and nodded. We sat down on his leather loveseat and waited. He gave me one last glance, like it was the last time he'd see me, before starting.
"When did I love you? Instantly. When did I know? Too late. The eyes so full of unrelenting turmoil that gave me the most pleasure, flickered away soon due to my neglect, lilting away as I did the same. Soon marred are those so early made in the obstacle of love and barrier of fate. Which as unbreakable as the perpetual virginity of your soul kept me away long enough for me to never mind the escape and release I so yearned for in you. To say I love you is an insult. Love is a useless word. The word much greater than love and all other variations could all equal, yet not shine as bright, as Aria."
I didn't realize the tears were there till I stood up and the motion made them fall. "How dare you?"
"W-what?" Ezra stuttered.
I threw the book from his hand against the wall and shrieked. "How DARE you! How could you have written those things and felt those things and let me think you didn't love me!"
"We already discussed this." Ezra stood up. "Jackie said she wou-"
Tears shook down my cheeks in sheets. "No. That's not what I mean. I mean why didn't you tell me THAT when I was seventeen. Ezra we could have made it work. We could have fought! This whole time I never knew you loved me as much as I loved you. But now, knowing you've hidden it from me? It's so much worse!"
"Aria please . . ." he came forward, his jaw tight as his own tears trickled from his eyes.
"Don't touch me . . ." I whimpered.
He ran his fingers through his hair. "Damn it Aria! I can't lose you again." My breath caught as he grabbed my shoulders. "I won't lose you."
"Ezra get off. Let me go!" I began pummeling his arms and chest, tears spilling over and over down my cheeks. He pulled me tighter to his chest and eventually my punches slowed and just my mangled sobbing was left. Before I knew it I was actually hanging to him for support. I don't know if I was just lonely, scared, angry or what, but I was surprised by my own words.
"Make love to me Ezra."
His fingers, which had become knotted in my hair, slowed their rhythmic movements. "What?"
I looked up at him. "For once . . . I don't care how pathetic it sounds. How childish . . . how sad. I need you. I've missed you so much. And I just . . . I just need you now."
I nestled my head under his chin again, my ragged breathing becoming slightly normal again. Wordlessly, he slowly carried me to the bed, our lips never moving from each other's. For the first time in years, I felt whole again."
Was it worth the wait? No. Will you forgive me and REVIEW your little bummies off? Oh Gawd, I hope so.
