A/N Hey :) Another chapter ready... Next one will be up immediately.
8th Chapter: Don't tell me lies, Arizona!
I sit on the sofa, a book resting in my lap. It could not get any more kitschy, could it?!
Now she finally gets her prince charming … Oh so realistic...
A cracking of the door frame draws my attention away from the book, towards the entering blond woman.
Oh, sure she wants to tell me about her progress! Maybe they even figured out a way to stop, already...
I hope she tells me that everything will be easier and better from now on.
I wear a big smile on my face when I ask Arizona: "Hey, Zona! How was your first appointment?"
And I do expect her to start rambling as soon as I voiced my question, but nothing comes out of her mouth.
Only death glares pinning me down.
"Arizona? Did the both of you already-"
But the blond interrupts me mid sentence, not allowing me to end my thought.
"Drop it!", she mutters angrily. With even more force: "I don't want to talk about it!"
What is up with her?! I mean, she should be happy that everything will be better from now on.
She should start telling me how much this session helped her!
When I started treatment for major depression the first appointment was like … it was kinda a savior. So why does my pretty girlfriend not want to talk about tis?
She throws her bag angrily into the corner, not bothering to smile at me.
With a grumpy expression on her face she leaves towards the bathroom, not even allowing me to contradict or tell her my thoughts.
That's so unlike Arizona! She usually argues about everything until both parties are happy with the decision that was made.
But now she left me standing alone like a forgotten umbrella.
While I try to get my mind straight and force my thoughts to lead into a different direction than Arizonas behavior, I hear a buzzing sound out of her purse that is still lying on the ground.
"Zona! Your cell phone is ringing!", I shout as loud as possibly, desperately trying to drown out the showering noises.
But when she does not notice my attempts I walk towards her bag.
She is my girlfriend after all!
So I assume she would not have any problem with me taking a look.
I rummage through the countless contents, Jeez! What does she carry with her?! Bricks?
This purse is kind of heavy!
After a few seconds I found what I am looking for. Her phone.
Seven missed calls, – that's unlike her, I wonder.
Ahh, and the newest income: An Instant Message.
Should I read it? I mean it's not like this is any of my business...
But finally my curiosity wins over my conscience and I take a look and read through it.
"Hello, sweetheart. :)
We do know you don't celebrate your birthday, but we hope you enjoy your very special day nonetheless...
We love you so much,
Mom and Dad."
Whoa. What is this about?!
This can't really be, I mean she never said that today is her birthday!
I don't even have any presents for her … Why did she not tell me about it? I am her girlfriend, why don't I know this not even private information?
And why does my Arizona not celebrate her birthday?
I love surprise parties … maybe I should arrange something quickly …
But before I could make a final decision the bathroom door opens and towel-clad blond stands next to me in no time.
With furious glares she rips the cell phone out of my hand and gives me no time at all to explain this.
She yells: "Callie, what the hell are you doing with my cell?!"
Not answering her question I reply as calm as possible: "Zona, why did you not tell me today is your b-day?" I mix a little hurt int my voice: "I am... I am your girlfriend... I thought I should give you a very special present or at least organize a party..."
Her face holds pain. No longer anger, but sheer hurt.
Grabbing her phone even tighter she explains in a low voice: "I don't celebrate. I never did ..."
I dare to close distance between us...
While taking hold of her lower arms I go on: "But why? That is the best day of the year! Better even as Christmas, because it is solely about you.
This day is supposed to be perfect!"
I can feel her hesitation to be honest and yet her answer tells me she does not tell me the truth.
"I just never liked parties... I never was this … kind of girl that liked standing in the spotlight..." Oh, a pathetic excuse!
"Come on! Don't tell me lies, Zona! I don't believe this tale!"
I really don't.
"Jeez! Why do you have to know everything about me? Why do you care at all if today is my birthday? Why are you interested in why I don't want to celebrate it?
Can't you just take something for given, once?!"
Her angry voice disturbs me, to be honest. I did not insult her or something...
"No, I can't! You are my girlfriend and I guess I deserve to get answers for my questions.
I never asked you to reveal any earth moving stories, I just want to know why you did not think it is necessary that your girlfriend knows when your birthday is!"
Her face undergoes a couple of changes, emotions clearly displayed by each of them.
It finally ends in tension which is proven when she starts to speak with a quite forced voice.
"You want to know the true story? Fine, than you will get it!"
OK, she is furious...
"Birthdays are something we get for free.
Year after year we celebrate something we never earned or had to work hard to get it!
We take those days for granted, so why should I throw a party to honor this day?
It is nothing that requires effort!
Well,... I used … I used to celebrate my recovery-anniversary … from … an- … anorexia.
This was something I had to fight for daily to be able to celebrate such an honorable day once a year, either.
But then … I slipped into self-destructive behavior and broke with the habit of allowing presents, because I did not deserve them any longer … still don't do today."
She trails of. Wow, another secret whose revealing must have taken her a lot of courage.
I mean, I already assumed she suffered an eating disorder during her youth, but now that it is confirmed … I have certainty!
I want to hug her so bad, but I guess that is what she would hate most at the moment.
And I can't bare making her even sadder...
So I try to find a question that would make her feel better and finally find one:
"What was the best present you ever got? I mean one that really surpassed your expectations by far?"
She does not think long about it and when a smile lits up on her face, I know for sure she found the right reply.
"The best and most surprising present I ever got was for my 2-years recovery... It was my first own violin! It was amazing! I never would have expected to get such a great present from my parents... My first violin, … I mean that is such a special moment when you finally own the instrument you are playing and no longer have to borrow it!
It changes your whole relationship towards the music you are playing..."
The sparkle in her eyes does not leave when she stops talking, seemingly thinking hard about something while she examines me.
"I somehow can feel you have the heart of a musician, either...
I mean I heard you singing while you were in the bathroom and you do have an gorgeous voice, but I believe there is more... So which instrument did you learn to play?"
I try to set up a surprised facial expression to show her I have no idea what she is talking about.
"What do you mean? I don't play any instrument ..."
But inwardly I wonder where the hell she know about this.
"Hey, don't tell me lies, Calliope! I know you do!"
Why is she so convinced about this? I did not even tell Mark about this! So where does she know about it?!
Finally I admit: "I hated it and I don't play very well. I mean, I can't play anymore at all ..."
I think back at my first lesson. A little me sitting on a chair, barely tall enough to reach the keys, not wanting to talk about the pedals!
Arizonas laugh interrupts my train of thoughts totally and tears me away from my memories.
"Just tell me, Callie! It is nothing major. I will find out which instrument it is sooner or later, so why don't you simply tell me?"
I look away, embarrassed, not even sure why I am embarrassed myself.
"Piano. I learned to play the piano."
A/N
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