Disclaimer: I don't own anything Fullmetal Alchemist related.

AN: Yes, Al does get over it. He and Ed get on good terms again. Also, Ed gets kidnapped by Izumi again, beaten up a little bit, and finally apologizes for missing dinner, in case anyone was worried about that too.

At Central's military headquarters, a press conference was being held to question the investigative team lead by Mustang on the events leading up to the house fire located in the lower class area of Dublith. Colonel Mustang stood before the members of the press giving his evaluation of the situation at hand, "...guarantee you that the fire was not in fact caused by a careless member of the investigative team, but by a stray Amestrian who had an extreme dislike of the Amestris military. The individual escaped capture and we continue our efforts to apprehend and question the youth responsible. Now are there any questions?"

"Colonel Mustang! What did the individual look like?" Was a notable question raised from the small crowd.

"We were merely able to identify that it was a young most likely male figure. The odds of finding the individual are slim, and we only hold the faintest of hope of tracking down the individual. However in the hopes that these events will not be repeated, a few troops have been assigned to patrol the area until further notice..."

"Colonel Mustang! Is there a possibility it was an enemy attack from a neighboring country!"

"How many people died in the fire!"

"Any suspicions that there was an alternative purpose for the attack! Colonel Mustang!"

The questions kept poring in as Mustang stood his ground at the podium that was at the front of the Military headquarters. He noticed Fullmetal running up the stairs to get into the building. He said into the microphone over the crowd's voices, "Fullmetal, in my office."

Edward looked over at him. He looked extremely confused but ran over to Mustang, whispering to him quickly, "Sure, but I have to say something first." He lightly pushed Roy. Clapping his hands together and making some of the ground raise him up, so he was able to talk into the microphone before the press.

The next day's newspaper was a big hit. Any news involving Amestris's known 'Hero of the People' being on the front page was sure to be a big seller. Overshadowing even the supposed theories of a potential new attack on Amestris's own soil was a quick article at the very top. It read:

The Fullmetal Alchemist Declares Newfound Asexuality?

Less then a year later after a claim of the Fullmetal's supposed gay alignment comes a stunning report from Fullmetal himself during a follow up press conference involving the fire attack.
The Fullmetal Alchemist came forward and made a quick and simple statement, "Hey, I'm asexual alright, so everyone just (expletive) off."
And that was the conclusion of his claim before he quickly retired to his headquarters upon his superior's request...

The night before in Colonel Mustang's office, after a long and tiring conclusion to his public statement, Roy entered his office drained of nearly all his energy and finding one of the sources of his constant migraines comfortably lounging on his couch. Roy moved a bit sluggishly over to his chair. He sat down with a relived sigh.

Folding his hands under his chin, he acknowledged the admittedly handsome pain before him, "...Fullmetal..." He stated in a serious tone, "What on earth possessed you to do that?"

Edward shrugged casually, "This whole mess began with a public announcement, so I figured it should end with a public announcement."

Roy looked at him for a while, gauging the seriousness of his casual response, "...So you meant it?" He asked.

Edward looked at him slightly confused, "Yes. I did."

They were both silent for a bit before Roy finally leaned back in his chair. Sighing and letting out a soft, "...Damn"

Edward jumped up off the couch in fury, "WHAT! YOU STILL WANTED TO TRY FUCKING WITH ME YOU DAMN BASTARD! AFTER EVERY FUCKING THING I'VE BEEN THOUGH YOU THINK I WOULD STILL BE FUCKING GAY! GAAAAHH!"

"...Why didn't you wait for me at the crime scene?" Roy responded simply, deciding not to aggravate the blond any further if he could help it.

Edward flushed slightly at this, his face looking slightly mortified. He was silent for a long moment, which caused Mustang to really wonder what the heck had caused this. He finally responded, "...You... wouldn't believe me if I told you..."

Roy raised his eyebrow. Deciding that he could maybe get the information when Fullmetal was less emotionally unstable, he asked a different question, "And what happened at the Devil's Nest?"

Falling into a familiar routing, Fullmetal gave a report on the events that occurred from the moment Envy revealed himself to Ed, until the moment when Ed made the phone call with Roy. He wouldn't budge further then admitting he had in fact been planning on waiting there until Roy arrived, but something both unbelievable and unexpected had happened. Finally Roy dismissed him ready to get started on the paperwork he had to fill out on the events of the investigation.

Roy looked at the first page. He then let his head fall to the desk and moaned, "...I hate paperwork..."

Meanwhile, the moment Edward exited the office Riza called out to him, "Edward?"

Ed looked over at Riza, "Riza?" He questioned back.

"Could I speak with you in private for a moment?"

"...Sure"

The two of them exited the office to move to a more private area of the headquarters. Riza spoke quietly so that no one would hear her, "Edward." She started in a very serious voice, "I would like to inform you that I have considered running for the presidency myself."

"..." Edward looked at her in a funny way. "...And why are you telling me this?"

"Edward, I would like you to help me attempt world domination as my right hand man. I have plans on improving and expanding this country, and I know you could help me do it. I'm not asking for any kind of emotional involvement, and I'm only hoping that you will consider this."

"...Why me?" He asked with curiosity and suspicion.

"You are famous everywhere Edward. And I need someone with lots of public influence to help me on my rise to power."

"..." Edward took a moment to look past the outright ridiculousness of the situation he was placed in and gave it some serious consideration.

"...Well... I was looking for something to do with me life, something of relevance. I was hoping to find love and live my life as a free roaming researcher. But... since that failed maybe working on improving the country is the next best thing? ...I guess Riza. I'll be your partner. ...But what about Roy?"

"I know of a general who will have me quickly promoted, and you can transfer under my command. Once I pull out all the stops, even Roy won't be able to turn against me."

'...That sounded far more mincing then any man should hear...' Edward thought with an inner shudder, going to a hotel to sleep off his horrible day.

She used Ed as her public persuasion, and her own frighteningly precise means of none public persuasion to rise in power. Riza ran a successful campaign that gave her the title of Fuhrer President Riza Hawkeye. With General Elric at her side the two of them conquered a bit less then half of the known world with their partner country, Xing. The two of them lived as happily as two non-married business partners could live.

The End.

AN: A rather lacking in thought potential ending. Something quickly made with the Chibi Party episode in mind during creation.