I'm really unsure about this chapter, that's why it took so long for me to post it. But, here it is. Hope you enjoy.


So prepare for the coup of the century
Be prepared for the murkiest scam

It had been used as a bookmark lately. He had almost forgotten about the picture, it was slightly battered when he received it. Now there were a few more creases in it, the numbers on the back were fading as if all those years it had been locked inside a frame. Maybe it had been, knowing Axel. He pulled it out and set it down on the table, watching the middle arch up slightly on the surface. The three other pictures were set beside it. They were neat, they were only slightly worn, they were old. One of them had Axel's arms around his own neck. The redhead's eyes closed, his nose in Roxas' hair, Roxas' eyes closed, his expression quiet and sombre.

The last one had Axel's mouth over his. The kiss looked soft, tender, like nothing mattered but how it felt to be so close. The third one was a little more questionable, Axel's mouth was against his ear and his expression was joyful. Roxas was slightly flushed and he wished he knew what else had been happening.

He wished he remembered. He wished he knew what he had forgotten, all those years he didn't remember. Everything was so foggy, he remembered Namine but he didn't remember Axel.

Christmas came and went, he was sitting around watching the sky. His knees pulled to his chest, his arms around his legs. His blue eyes pale, the breeze on the balcony lifted his hair and chilled his shirt. The world seemed so dark and threatening, he didn't know what to think, he didn't know what to do. He didn't know who he wanted to trust and he didn't know what they wanted of him. He wanted to know what his father had done, he wanted to know what he and Axel had done. He wanted to be what he was to the redhead before all this happened.

It was a great and terrible longing in his chest, a pain that pulled at him, he wanted to know despite his fear, he wanted to know.

He had done a lot of thinking. At the end of the night he still wanted to be with Roxas and in the morning he knew he needed to do something about it.

He was walking through the streets, the crowds of people passed him, his hands were at his sides. He didn't wear a scarf because he liked how harsh the wind felt against his flesh. His chin was cold and his nose felt even colder. As he walked he scanned the faces of the people passing him. Eyes focused in one someone, someone he thought he knew, he kept going, as they passed he stopped walking. He slowed to a stop and just stood there, stunned. Someone bumped into him as they passed, he turned and took off.

Finding the shoulder of the one who had passed by he swung him around the corner, into an alley, holding him with one hand to the wall. His eyes looking through the shadow in the alley at the worn and thin face of someone he had known.

"Hello Axel" The male's voice was calm. "It's nice to see you again. It's been a long time, hasn't it?"

"You're supposed to be dead" Axel growled, throat tight, hands shaking, tongue thick in his mouth.

"Follow me"

Axel let go of him and followed. Walking behind him through the alleys and the wet ground. When they arrived at some back door Zexion kicked at the bottom of it, probably to loosen the warped wood, then used a small key to open the door. Heading inside, leading Axel down two flights of stairs to a cracked door with a six on it with cheap and rusted metal.

Inside the apartment, the air was fresh. There were plants lining the shelves on the walls, everything was clean, a few sticks of incense sticking out of a pot of dirt, ash, and matchsticks. All burnt out by now. The coffee table was scratched, the couch was the same one that he had seen far too many couples curled up on years before.

"You remember what it was like back then, correct?" The male asked softly, lowering the hood from his face. The dull light from the single bulb lighting the shadows under his cheeks and the lines around his eyes. "Do not look so surprised. You know what they did in there. You know that anything could have happened"

"They said you killed yourself" Axel whispered, standing in the door way. He felt frozen.

"They said a lot of things"

"I saw your body"

"Have you ever read Romeo and Juliet, Axel?"

".. yes" He was hesitant to say anything.

"What did Juliet use to feign her death?"

"..."

"These things are real, you know as well as I the things they are capable of"

"That doesn't explain how you're still alive. Why are you here?" He asked.

"Maybe you would know a little more if you had paid a little more attention" He offered. "Maybe if you had stayed that night you would not be so shocked right now."

The male sat down on the couch, he seemed feather light against the fabric. "What have you done to yourself?" Axel asked, he moved forwards into the cold apartment. Kneeling on the floor after closing the door and flicking the lock closed out of habit.

"I am emotionless" He said. "I was a part of Ansem's original study group, as you knew. We were his guinea pigs. Do you remember our nicknames? We were called Nobodies because we had given our lives to his organization. You were never a part of his original testing. You do not know the things he did to us in the line of science. At that time I had no idea what he was doing. I was young, so was everyone else when he took them in. He wanted to map the brain. He wanted to know how the heart and the brain were connected. If there was a connection. We wanted to explore, we were students who wanted to learn."

Axel was resting his palm against his forehead. "So Roxas...?"

"Legally, he could not do anything to us that we would not consent to. Roxas, however--"

"He was different"

"Correct"

"How are you still alive?"

"It was a rotten time, Axel. Everyone was tainted and no one looked out for anyone but themselves. You knew this when you stepped into that hospital. You could smell the corruption. You could taste the deceit. It was a prison."

Axel was quiet, so was Zexion.

"Lexaeus meant everything to me" He whispered. "I knew him before I had ever heard of Ansem. I knew him for years, he was the one who introduced me to Ansem. He was the reason I became a Nobody like him. When he died I wanted to talk to you, I knew that you would know what to say because you always did. But you left to see Roxas. We were never supposed to talk to him, you know. That's why Ansem got so mad. You are the reason he is locked up now."

"How can you be so calm?"

"I do not feel anything anymore" Came the gentle reply. The hair that hung in deep violet eyes was faded, almost grey, his eyes had a deadened emotionless look to them. "It was one of his experiments. He wanted to know if he could rob a human being of human emotions. I remember laying on the table with tears pouring down my face, responding to each new place they explored. I remember feeling a swell of sadness so great I wished I could just die. Then this overpowering wave of joy."

The male was quiet, thin lips parted slightly. "Then nothing. No sadness, no emptiness, no joy. I can not begin to describe it. You will never know how strange it is to be truly empty."

His head dropped down, he looked at his thin wrists coming out from the end of his hood. "I vowed myself to science after that. No emotions to bring me down, by them good or bad. It wasn't until Ansem lost what little grip on sanity he had that I washed up here, continuing my research." Zexion's eyes misted, he looked at Axel, and said softly: "I know that if he were still alive he would enjoy this room. It was exactly what he liked."

"Zexion.."

"You should go, Axel. I am sure that Roxas is waiting for you to call him."

"I don't know what to say" Came the soft reply, "I missed him too. It wasn't just you. I didn't mean to abandon you"

"You did."

There was a ringing in his pocket, he frowned. Slowly pulling out his phone and glancing at the name. "Roxas, right?" The male asked. "Just take it, Axel. Leave. Do not come back here. Do not come back until you can tell me with a straight face that you did not ignore us for him"

The phone stopped ringing, Axel still knelt there, looking at the phone in his palm.

"Maybe I would go as far as to say you betrayed us. All of us, for him. Was he that important to you? Was a few short days of tenderness with that child more important than years of friendship with any of us? What do you have left, Axel? You left everyone behind to follow him here, you were the strongest, you stayed out of corruption, you were the wild card, no one knew what you were going to do. Had you stayed, things would have been very different. What now, Axel? What do you have left?"

Axel continued to stare at the phone, the small screen had dimmed, 'one missed call', it said.

The redhead stood, his heart heavy with information. "You're alone too" He muttered.

"Everyone thinks I am dead"

"Maybe you'd be better off that way"

Axel turned, left the room. The clean smell of the air felt nice against his lungs as he left, closing the door behind him. His eyes closed, he sagged against the closed door. It smelled of damp wood and dirt out here. He swallowed thickly, the phone started to ring again and he reluctantly brought the phone to his ear. "Hey" He said quietly as he found the stairs. "Sorry for not answering earlier, I was in the library." He muttered as he walked.

As soon as he was outside, he felt a lot better. The air was fresh, it smelled of rain. The ground was wet and he walked with purpose down the windy cement. "It's a little loud. How about I just come over?" He offered. "I'm in the area anyways." The library was a little farther away than this, but it would do. He'd take his time. "I'll see you soon, okay?"

He pocketed the phone after a soft good-bye and turned to the nearest street he knew, wandering through a thin alley before coming out on a street. Roxas lived a little further away than he had originally thought, and he began the walk in the direction of his place.

Roxas knew Axel would have answers. He knew that Namine would have them too. What he didn't know was who was right or why Axel hadn't told him they were dating in the beginning. But in the beginning, would Roxas have responded well to him?

He held his phone in his palm, watching the minutes pass. He was waiting for Axel to get here so he could ask him. Sora was at Riku's, leaving Roxas alone in the apartment. But it was better that way, he wanted to have that time alone with him so he could figure this out.

The sound of the door shocked him, and ignoring the device to let him in he jolted down the hall to the front door, opening it for a very pale and very quiet looking Axel. Roxas' enthusiasm died, he stepped back to let him in. "What's wrong?" Roxas asked lightly, taking the redhead's cold hand and beginning to pull him along to his room.

"Feel like I've seen a ghost" Axel muttered. "I think I have. I don't want to talk about it" His answer was quiet, he seemed unhappy.

Roxas didn't know what to say, and led the male into his apartment, closing the door and giving the lock a casual flick to keep anyone else out. He reached up to place his hands on the other's shoulders. "Sit down, want anything to drink?" He asked, watching the male kick his shoes off and shrug out of his coat.

"Just water, maybe" He muttered as Roxas led the male to the couch before heading back to the kitchen and filling a cup with water.

Axel sipped it, Roxas sat down beside him, they sat in silence for a few minutes.

Eventually, Roxas pressed his face against Axel's shoulder, his cheek resting against his warm clothing. "I'm sorry I went with her" He said softly. "I should have thought a little more about it. I really care about you, all I remember about Namine is her name" Axel's arm wrapped around his shoulders, Roxas draped one over Axel's chest. "That's not enough of a reason. I'm sorry. I don't know what actually happened, but I have to believe what I feel now, and not what someone else tells me." He sat up, Axel's hand rest against the small of his back. "I want to remember" He said softly.

He and Roxas lay on his bed, the television had been turned off after the move and though they were shirtless, they were still mostly clothes, Roxas had fallen asleep and was curled against his side, his arm was around him, his eyes looked at the ceiling. Eventually he closed them. Trying to sort out the pieces of his memory.

Waking up, Roxas had rolled over to his side, head resting on Axel's arm. He was still on his back and his neck felt sore, he groaned softly and rolled to the side, his other arm wrapping around his small boyfriend. He rest his nose against his hair and breathed. Might as well sleep, he was here anyways.