ok, well you guys waited so long for an update I couldn't resist giving ya one more chapter. :) Tho, it is pretty short and yes, much sap and angst again. I know, 'm such a drama queen *drawls* but I promise we'll have some action again in Ch.10 Hope you enjoy and again, remember read and review!! Make my world a shiny happy place in which I dwell ;)


Chapter 9: Well, More Like Wavering...


I am here to tell you we can never meet again
Simple really, isn't it, a word or two and then

A lifetime of not knowing where or how or why or when
You think of me, or speak of me, or wonder what befell
The someone you once loved so long ago, so well

Never wonder what I'll feel as living shuffles by
You don't have to ask me and I need not reply

Every moment of my life from now until I die
I will think or dream of you and fail to understand
How a perfect love can be confounded out of hand

Is it written in the stars
Are we paying for some crime
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time

Is this God's experiment
In which we have no say
In which we're given paradise
But only for a day

Nothing can be altered, oh, there is nothing to decide
No escape, no change of heart, no any place to hide

You are all I'll ever want but this I am denyin'
Sometimes in my darkest thoughts I wish I never learned
What it is to be in love and have that love returned

Is it written in the stars
Are we paying for some crime
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time

Is this God's experiment {God's experiment}
In which we have no say {In which we have now say}
In which we're given paradise {If only for a day}
But only for a day

{Is it written in the stars}
{Are we paying for some crime}
{Is that all that we are good for}
{Just a stretch of mortal time}

Is this God's experiment {God's experiment}
In which we have no say {In which we have now say}
In which we're given paradise {If only for a day}
But only for a day

Hours later MJ groaned in protest, chin resting on her hand.

Peter matched her groan with one of his own. "MJ ... its been twenty minutes. You gotta make a decision. I mean, either you can or you can't."

"Weeelllll...." she whined. "I'm trying..."

"Try harder!" he huffed impatiently.

"Look! This was your idea, ok?!" she grumbled, pointing at him with a menacing glare.

"Ok, lemme help you then!" he demanded but didn't move from the floor.

"No!" she squealed and used her hands to cover up.

"Ugh!" he slapped his hand to his forehead. "It's just a game MJ, c'mon..." he pleaded, collapsing back and sprawling out on the rug near the coffee table.

MJ sat on the other side of the table, across the game board. "That would be cheating..." she argued, looking at her rack distractedly. "Just gimme a minute..."

"I already gave you twenty, what's one more!" he threw his hands up in protest.

MJ chewed her lip staring with concentration at the tiled letters lined on the wooden rack in front of her. She sighed, frowning. The letters spelled out:

HE LUVS U

"Ok, lemme see!" he sat up, patience at an end and reached across the table for her rack.

She smacked his hand away. "No!"

"Mary Jane!" he whined. "Its been over twenty minutes and you've gotta decide already. It's only Scrabble, not a life or death situation."

"Ok fine Mr. Impatient," she knocked her rack over, scrambling the letters. "Lets see you make a word outta these letters!"

Peter came around the table, shaking his head with a grin. "Sore loser..."

She stood up, going to look at the Christmas tree. She watched him pick the rack up and start lining up the letters. "Can't we play something else?" she asked, playing with a branch.

"Like what? We've already been through every board game I own..." he answered, distracted by his task.

She toyed with an ornament. "How bout truth or dare?"

"Uh.. no..." he answered quickly.

"What? Too risque?" she teased.

When he didn't answer, she grinned. "K... how bout a movie?"

"VCR's broke..." he shifted some tiles.

"Peter Parker, class genius can't fix his own broken VCR?" she teased.

"Its fried," he answered simply, almost indignant.

"How bout video games?"

He actually stopped to look at her, raising his brows. "You like video games?"

"Sure, why not?" she crossed her arms, meeting his gaze.

He put the L tile in front of the U tile and stopped to look and see what he'd do next. "Well, cuz you're a girl."

She laughed. "Thanks for noticing, Pete."

He rolled his eyes, putting the H tile in front of the E.

"We could talk..." she came over to sit on the couch.

"Bout what?" he frowned, looking at the tiles.

She looked over his shoulder at the tiles. She bit her lip. *Uh oh...* Hoping to distract him she flipped her hair and cleared her throat.

He turned his head to look at her. His breath caught in his throat when he caught sight of her. She was sprawled across the couch, smiling playfully and eyes sparkling with mischief. Waves of ruby hair fell over her shoulder and cascaded across her face. He tilted his head taking in all her beauty. It was almost as if she were posing for him. He smiled at her. "Yes?"

"Well..." she demanded.

"Am I missing something here?" he chuckled, eyes back on the tiles.

"I figured I could practice some of my modeling poses, since we've nothing better to do. And you are a photographer. Not to mention a guy. You tell me what's attractive and what's not..." MJ sat up again. She looked at the tiles desperately. He was so close to spelling out what she had spelt out before. "What about this one?" she gripped his shoulder, turning him to look at her as she tilted her head, arms tucked under her chin.

"You look like you're trying to sleep standing up..." he joked. "Now c'mon I've almost got this."

"Pete ... why don't you just leave it be..." she sighed, deflated.

Peter ignored her as he picked up the second U tile and placed it at the end. He stopped moving, shocked by what he managed to make of the tiles.

HE LUVS U

It stared back at him plain as day.

Behind him MJ shifted on the couch.

"This what had you so stumped?" he muttered softly.

When she didn't answer, he turned around slowly. His eyes sought hers and he frowned at her saddened expression.

She avoided eye contact with him, fidgeting with the zipper of her sweatshirt.

He turned back to the rack and stared at it indignantly. He knocked the letters over and reached over the table to grab his rack of letters. He dumped the bag full of lettered tiles onto the table and began picking them out and placing them on the racks.

MJ watched him in confusion as he set up the racks and tiles.

"Close your eyes." Peter told her.

"Huh? Why?"

"Just trust me," he replied.

She did as he asked and took a deep breath. "Ok..."

Peter stared at his work and wondered if this was such a good idea. His gut told him he was gonna regret it, but his heart told him this was right. It was the least he could do. He picked up the first rack and turned from his spot on the floor to face the couch. "Open your eyes."

MJ opened her eyes and found herself staring at him holding a rack of tiles. She read:

SMILE MJ

Then he turned and grabbed another rack, turning slowly so they didn't spill over.

Her heart pounded in anticipation, until the rack was in her view.

THE TILES NEVER LIE

She looked into his eyes, her heart threatened to stop.

And once more he turned and brought her the words he couldn't say for fear of protecting her.

XOXO

She beamed brightly, giggling gently at his sweet suggestion and let out a gasp as her eyes watered over.

Peter looked at the tiles then at her. "Triple word score, with two X's... Think I win the game..." he smiled, speaking softly.

His wonderful voice made her ears tingle and her heart fill with warmth. She laughed lightly, wiping at the tears in her eyes.

She reached out and brushed back a strand of his hair from those pools of blue. "You've won more than that, Mr. Parker..." her voice cracked.

He leaned into her caress, relishing in her very touch. He closed his eyes, and bowed his head. He only wished she was right. He only wished he could have her; to hold her, kiss her, cherish every inch of her. He felt a tear run down his face and he knew he couldn't hold them in any longer.

She heard him cry softly and it caught her by surprise. She understood this small confession was to keep her from hurting, from wondering what he thought of her. It wasn't one that broke the barrier between them. It wasn't one that let him love her as much as he wanted it or she wanted it. He cried because he wanted to tell her so bad himself and he just couldn't. Not today anyway.

"I know, Tiger..." she ran her hand through his hair, comforting him. "I understand."

He looked up, his crystal blues filled with tears. He was almost sure her expression mirrored his and he gritted his teeth and swallowed hard. *One day MJ, you'll be happy again. One day you'll find someone who can love you no holds barred. I only wish that could be me. But, it won't. It can't. I'm so sorry....* he let out a soft burst of tears.

MJ pushed his head into her lap and stroked his hair lovingly. She fought valiantly against the tears threatening to bubble over but in the end the tears won. She put her forehead into his soft hair and wept.

********

She watched from the doorway of his bedroom as he slipped on his gloves and turned to her. She gave a half smile.

"Ready?" he asked.

She nodded gathering her bags silently.

"You sure you don't wanna ... stay?" he offered.

"I ..." she lowered her eyes, fiddling with the handle of one bag. "I can't. I have work tomorrow and a meeting with my agent." *You know I can't stay, Pete. It's too hard on the both of us.*

He nodded in understanding. "Lemme see those bags. Don't want them to break on us." He webbed each up tightly, sealing them. "It'll dissolve in an hour or so."

She shook her head in wonder. "I won't ask how you do it."

"I'll tell you one day..." he chuckled softly. He slipped his mask over his head and pulled it down, covering his neck. He opened the balcony window and turned, arms outstretched. "Your carriage awaits madam..." he bowed.

She gave a soft smile and stepped out into the brisk night air.

********

They swung high above the city, the cold wind whipping past them at a great speed.

MJ had her head tucked into his neck, shielding her face from the sting of the frigid temperature.

When her building came into sight, he swung lower towards her balcony. He gasped softly, looking at the giant mound of snow built up on her balcony. "Hang on tight, Mary Jane! Gonna be a rough landing in all this snow!" he shouted over the whipping wind.

She nodded and squeezed tighter.

Peter dipped lower quickly, lifting her high up as he did. Then he planted his feet low into the snow bank so she wouldn't feel the impact. Unfortunately, landing gracefully in six feet of snow was impossible and they plowed into the snow bank. Peter managed to twist his body so he would hit first and hardest. The snow cushioned their impact slightly, but he still let out a little moan when her weight hit him square in the chest.

MJ was the first one to sit up, laughing to her surprise. "Well, that was fun!" she grinned over at him. He was still laying in the cold snow, emanating a small moan of pain.

Peter sat up slowly, smiling under his mask. "One day we'll get it right." He looked over to her. "You ok?"

"I'm ok, are you?" she attempted to stand.

He hopped up quickly, helping her right herself. "Spider's unlike cat's don't always land on their feet, but 'll live."

"Good thing you webbed up my presents," she said, arms outstretched with bags hanging from each. "Can you find my keys in my coat pocket?"

He reached in and found the set of keys she asked for. Then he unlocked the balcony door and a pile of snow fell in with them.

"Thanks..." she sighed, stepping right over the mound now present in her bedroom. She was too cold and tired to care. She placed her bags down beside her bed before she slipped her coat off and shivered. "The heat's not on. Gina must have stayed at the hospital all night..." she went to the dial controlling the temperature in her room. She turned it up higher and turned to Spider-Man.

"Can I get you anything? Coffee?" her teeth chattered.

"Nah... I should get out there right away..." Peter answered. Yet there was no incline from his spider sense that danger was anywhere near.

"Oh... ok..." she wrapped her arms around herself. "Be careful, please..."

He nodded gently. "I will."

"Stop by if you get cold and need to warm up or anything..." she offered.

"Thanks... I'll remember that..." he didn't make a move to leave though.

"Thanks for last night and today..." she smiled.

He nodded again.

"Will I... see you again soon?" she asked.

"I'll be in the neighborhood..." he promised.

"I'll be waiting for you," she smiled, a double meaning behind her words.

"Take care, Mary Jane," he opened the door.

She took a step closer to him. "Bye, Spider-Man..." she whispered to him.

He stood there, wanting to hug her close so desperately, it made his heart ache. Instead, he just reached out a finger and traced her cheekbone quickly. Then he leapt out into the snow, shot a web-line across the sky and was off into the night.

She closed the door and stood watching him till he was gone from the horizon. "Bye Tiger...