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10 reviews on the last chapter?

Thank you so much!

Okay, sorry for the ** late** update. I truly am, but I've been spending a lot of time with my family, primarily my grandparents, and I just hate doing half-ass updates

Anyway, enjoy!

Note: I tried my best with editing it. So yeah~


"You'll be fine honey." My mom said to me as I sat stone faced in the passenger seat of her old beat up Volvo. We both sat parked in the U of T main campus parking lot. It felt like my first day of kindergarten, my mother with a cheery smile on her face yet masking the worry and pain behind her fragile smile. And me pouting refusing to attend. What's wrong with this picture?

"Clare, I know this is going to be hard but you'll be okay. I'll be here after you're done with your classes to pick you up okay?" Last night after my mom's nap she sat me down, apparently having not napped at all but rather stayed up thinking of what to do for me. She figured it would be best if I went back but she brings me there. Apparently she doesn't trust me enough to go on my own. Although I can't truly blame her, I wouldn't trust me either.

I nodded my head, wanting to get out of this car, suddenly feeling claustrophobic. . I leaned over and opened the door sticking one leg out of the car ready to leave when my mom gently grabbed my arm. I stopped and turned my head around to face her.

"I love you, Clarebear." She said giving me a gentle smile. I forced a small grin onto my face, nodding my head while muttering. "I love you too, mom." She hesitantly released my arm. "Okay, I'll see you at 4, sweetie. Have a fun day." I stepped out of the car, closing the door shut and giving her a small wave as she drove off.

I truly had no intention on going to class. I made up my mind late last night when I was contemplating leaving and just returning to my dorm, due to the pressure that was now put on me. The logical side of me knew that wouldn't be a very smart idea because things would eventually get worse. I was giving my mother the benefit of the doubt by showing up.

I casually walked around campus not knowing what I could exactly do for 4 hours when I should be filling my brain with knowledge and boring lectures. As I continued to walk I spotted my dorm complex. A small visit wouldn't hurt, besides I need more clothes and a few other things. I don't see myself leaving my mom's house anytime soon.

I walked to the front entrance, swinging the door open hearing some students talking, snack wrappers being opened, and the sound of pages being turned rapidly in a text book. I slowly made my way past the chill room, ignoring the students that were working. I just wanted to get in and get out, no chit chat.

Once I made my way up the stairs I walked up to my dorm room seeing a sock hanging on the door knob. Great. Bianca and Drew are having some fun time. I don't care. I need my stuff regardless if they're getting freaky in there.

Turning the knob quickly I entered the room, seeing the beds empty but the unmistakable moans coming from Bianca and the rough grunts from Drew and the occasional skin slapping against skin. They're too busy and lost in their own world to even notice I was here, which ultimately works out for me. I took of my back pack, tossing it on Bianca's bed, and walking over to the dresser we both shared.

"Ah! Drew!"

I heard Bianca shout. I grabbed a few more shirts, pants, and some underwear. I closed the drawer stuffing everything into my backpack and zipping it up, throwing it over my back sticking my arms through the loops. As I walked towards the door I decided to maybe have a little fun with this. All the other times I had interrupted Drew and Bianca they had both seen me. You only live once, right?I opened the door and shouted.

"Have fun you two!" Slamming the door behind me, I could hear Bianca shriek and yelling a few things to Drew.

"Why didn't you lock the door! That was the one thing you had to do!"

xxx

I sat at a table near the front of Starbucks, playing with my now destroyed coffee cake. I came in about an hour ago not knowing where to go exactly. Just a few more hours until I'm back home; Should I call it home? I never had any intention on staying there for this long, just a small getaway. Besides I'm not even sure if I've over stayed my welcome. I know my mom is more than happy to have me back home she must have some sort of resentment towards me. I ignored her and her marriage to Glen through my last year of high school. I refused to ever fix it up until now. Maybe it was this situation that made me realize I need to hold onto the good things in life, the things that actually matter; Family. I can have as many friends as anyone could ever want but they could never replace the caring and tenderness only a mother could hold.

Once I came and sat for a few minutes, the manager told me I had to leave unless I bought something. So I bought a coffee cake, one of my favorite desserts but I'm not that hungry. So instead of dining on this lump of sugar I decided to play with it a bit. Turning it into a pile of mush.

The bell to Starbucks rang, signaling a new customer. I snapped my head up to see a boy enter with raven black hair and a solemn expression. Eli?

As if he new I was here, he turned his head in my direction as we locked eyes. His green orbs glowed, shining, making my stomach flutter in an odd way.

"Hey." He said softly, walking towards my table. He had one hand placed on the loop of his backpack, keeping it steady on his one shoulder.

"Hey." I repeated back as I glanced down at my coffee cake, feeling his stare as I suppressed a smile, feeling a blush cascade across my cheeks.

"Well, this seems to be our little meetup place." Eli said laughing. I looked up at him with a puzzled expression. He seemed to have understood my reaction, then elaborating.

"The last time we met up was at Starbucks before class a few weeks ago. Oh, By the way, where were you? You promised you'd be in class." He said with a shy and worried look. Crap, I completely forgot about that. I rested back in my seat a bit thinking of what I could say until he spoke up once again.

"It's cool, you don't have to tell me as long as everything's okay." I looked over at him, feeling slightly agitated. What was he supposed to mean by that? The way he said it made it seem as though he knew something was wrong. I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Well do you think something's wrong?" I asked in an accusing tone. Eli scrunched his eyebrows together, giving me this 'what the fuck' look.

"Yeah. I do." He licked his lips, looked around for a few seconds then landing his eyes on me. "You just look so..different. I know we've never really talked except for a few weeks ago but you look so different. You used to be so bubbly and a ray of sunshine; Nothing could bring you down. You're smart and studious but lately you've been ditching all your classes. I'm just worried."

"You don't know me. Maybe this is the real me; Showing my true colors." He contemplated that for a moment and pulled out the chair from across me dropping his backpack to the ground. He took a seat resting his arms on the table.

"Then let me get to know the real Clare." I studied his features to know if he was serious about this. The old Clare would have been doing backflips and running up and down at this. But the now darkened Clare is masking her old self.

"Okay." He smiled at me, seeming excited about this. God, I hope I don't regret this.

xxx

2 hours later

"I'll see you later Clare." Eli said with a beaming smile. We had talked for 2 straight hours about ourselves, just trying to understand each other. I learned a lot about him, some things truly shocked me but it did give me a better idea of who Eli was. I can't lie that, those were the best two hours of my life. I haven't smiled this much in a long, long time.

"See you later Eli." I said, giving him a small wave. We weren't that far apart until he walked closer to me giving me a side hug. My smile dropped as my body became paralyzed. Disgust and guilt ran through me, thoughts circulating in my mind.

Eli waved at me a little and walked away turning around once to look over at me. I turned quickly on my heels wanting to just be alone. It would be an hour before my mom picked me up and the alone time would be nice.

My skin crawled at his touch, as though my body relived that night. I may not have been conscious but my body knew what happened. My heart beat faster as I left the main campus, seeing a full parking lot.

Some relief set in as I leaned against the wall, trying to compose myself. My breathing was uneven, the adrenaline from this panic attack still in full swing.

"Woah, you okay there?" A voice said in front of me. I looked up at the voice as I swallowed the lump in my throat finding the words to speak.

"Yeah. Yeah, not really." I rested my back against the wall closing my eyes for a short while before hearing the man next to me light a match and the smelling the scent from his cigarette. I rolled my head to the side where he was. He had baggy clothes with some words written on them, but not being able to read them.

He took the lit match and waved it around a bit, making it go out and then stepping on it. I watched as he took a long drag of his cigarette, seeing the smoke escape from his mouth and nose. He had this almost euphoric look on his face, as though he got some internal pleasure that visibly relaxed his body.

The man caught my eye and laughed a little, holding the cigarette carton out to me. "Want one?"

I stared at it for a few seconds, the logical side of me sprung free and scolded me for even thinking about attempting class. I know how harmful a cigarette can be but this burning desire pushed me to give it a go. Maybe I could have that same feeling that he did.

"Sure, thanks." I said quietly as I walked towards him a little grabbing one and holding it between my fingers. He lit the match for me and lit my cigarette. I looked down at it, feeling the overwhelming stench of the smoke filling my lungs and burning my nose. I threw all caution to the wind and put it between my lips, inhaling the toxic smoke.

I imitated his movements, not feeling anything at first. I took a second inhale, feeling this tingly sensation all over my body. I rested against the wall finishing my cigarette.

"I'm Jeremy." The man next to me said.

"I'm Clare." I said not looking at him.

The hour came and went as Jeremy and I had a small talk, him lending me a few more cigarettes to last me until tomorrow. He told me about his daughter him and his girlfriend both have together and they're both his world. I told him about my mom and Glen. He had a few words of wisdom he gave to me. I'm not too sure what he meant by what he said but it doesn't matter. I'm just glad I could talk to someone. Jeremy seems like a really nice guy, I may have found myself a new friend.

When my mom arrived she could smell the strong scent of smoke around me, she questioned it but I simply told her I went to study in the library and there were plenty of people smoking in there.

She bought it.

More lies


I wasn't too happy with this chapter but I hope you liked it~ Reviews are always lovely!

Mini spoiler(s)! Okay soooooo, I've been hinting at something in this chapter as well as the last chapter, it has to do with Clare (lol, duh) Has anyone noticed it?

annnddd

xo was in this chapter. Not like lurking from a distance and unseen. He was here. I love it when you guys guess who it is ^_^

Alright, toodles!