Into the Wild
So that's what a dead body looks like.
How often do you see those? And no, funerals don't count. I'm talking about a raw, fresh corpse, just hours after death. Not the manicured dead, decked out in tuxedos and fancy dresses, but the real thing, rotting in all of its gory glory.
But I can't call this mess in front of me a "body." How can I describe this without overstepping the "T" rating? Okay, I think I got it. Imagine that somebody spilled a giant plate of spaghetti in the middle of the woods except, that spaghetti is actually Hayner. It sounds horrible, but it really isn't. The sight is so far removed from resembling anything remotely human, it's hard to feel disgusted. It just doesn't seem real.
The stench, however, is a different story. It smells like crap. Makes sense, since a swarm of flies are feasting on exposed intestines. The rest of the remains give off the scent of warmed over hamburger meat with a tinge of sweetness. I gulp down the rising bile.
"If you throw up, make sure you drink lots of water. You'll be dehydrated if you don't," Riku warns. Steady as ever, that boy. The only thing on his mind is survival. At least one of us has his eyes on the prize. Everybody else is stuck somewhere in the five stages of grief; Olette's in denial, Roxas is pissed, Naminé's bargaining, and Kairi's depressed. The only ones who've accepted this are me and Riku. "We're probably in the bear's hunting area. We need to get out of here."
"Shouldn't we give him a proper burial?" Kairi asks. I think that requires a proper body first.
"You want to bury that? Be my guest."
Olette uncovers her face slowly, her fingertips dripping down like tears. Her skin is pale and her eyes are red with engorged blood vessels. "You have to be kidding me. This isn't happening—this isn't real!" She bows her head and recites futile incantations. "This isn't real, this isn't real, this isn't real…"
I want to slap her and tell her to wake up, but a little sympathy goes a long way. After all, she used her boyfriend as bait to save her own skin. The guilt must be tearing her to pieces—much like the bear did to Hayner. Wait a minute, what were they doing when the bear attacked?
"Olette." She turns to me expectantly. Oh boy, I wish I had something comforting to say, but my curiosity cannot be denied. "This might be an inappropriate question but… were you and Hayner making out when the bear attacked you?"
"What the hell does that have to do with anything?!"
"Is that a yes?"
"Go to hell, asshole."
I knew it! That's how you die. Such is the rule of horror: you horny—you dead. If we were wholesome innocent teenagers on a platonic retreat, this wouldn't be an issue. Whose bright idea was it to go into the woods anyways? It's where the bears shit. Should've rented a hotel room instead. Then again, hotel rooms aren't exactly immune to horror. I guess it didn't matter where we went, we were screwed either way.
"Sorry, I just wanted to confirm my suspicions." Everybody looks at me weird. "What I mean is—I'm with Riku. We should head to the cabin."
Roxas glares at me. "Where the hell were you? If you hadn't disappeared, none of this would've happened."
"You're right," I answer. "It would've been a lot worse. Look at the SUV." The trunk was torn to shreds like paper. Blood coated the inside in a thick, smooth, and rich layer of red. "If I didn't lead the bear away, it would've killed all of us." In a way, I saved your ass. How about a little gratitude, punk?
"And how did you do that?" he asked skeptically.
"I was outside when it attacked. It chased me into woods. I got lucky and fell into a hole and it couldn't reach me. I guess that's when it came back here and attacked whoever was left."
He laughs disbelievingly. "What a joke."
"It's the truth."
"Fuck that." He slams his fist against a tree. "This is bullshit!"
Naminé holds him from behind. "Roxas… I'm scared."
"Me too." He takes a deep breath. "I swear; I'll kill that fucking thing."
"Good luck with that," Riku says dryly. "For now, our best bet is to get away. We can't stay in its territory any longer. If we want to survive, we have to leave—as in now."
"Then leave," Olette says harshly. She stands stiffly, her balled fists trembling. "You can go. It's obvious you guys don't give a shit about Hayner. I'll stay here and show him the respect he deserves. I'll bury him myself."
"What's the point? He's already dead."
"Sora!" Kairi admonishes.
"What the hell's your problem?!" Olette takes a fistful of my shirt and pulls me close to her snarling face. "Hayner's dead! Do you even realize that?" Despair never looked so ugly. I've been keeping a distance from everyone but I can't turn away when her eyes are locked onto me like this. Even if I couldn't care less about Hayner, she does. The consequences here are real, for her, and for everybody else.
I grab her wrists gently and pull away. "You're still alive. Do you realize that?" Her eyes widen. "Hayner gave up his life for you whether he wanted to or not, and that means you have to take responsibility and continue living. Staying here is worse than spitting on his grave. You're only putting yourself in danger. Do you want to die that badly?"
"You don't get it—"
"We're not going to leave you behind. We have to stick together or we're gonna be picked off one by one."
She collapses to her knees. "It's all my fault! He's dead because of me. If I hadn't—"
"If you hadn't run away, you'd both be dead," Riku interjects. "I know everybody's emotions are running high right now. We're afraid, confused, and shocked, but we can't let that stop us." He walks over and helps her up. "It's like Sora says, we're not leaving you behind. We can come back and bury him properly after we've reached safety." What a leader, the perfect combination of smarts and practical skills with just the right amount of compassion. "I'm gonna go pack up our stuff. Don't stay here too long."
"Wait up," Kairi says, running after him.
"We won't be safe as long as that thing is out there," Roxas says.
Naminé grabs his shirt. "I just want to go home and forget about all this."
"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. It's just… I can't believe it." He sighs. "Anyways, let's go help them pack." They follow Kairi, leaving me and Olette behind.
I'd almost forgotten an important rule about theses type of stories: the asshole always dies. The selfish bastard is a character who manages to outlive most of the cast through callous methods. But in the end, there's no escaping karmic justice. My behavior thus far has veered dangerously close to asshole territory. Any further and I might doom myself to an ironic demise. I can't be an ass. I have to play the good guy, but I can't be too nice either. Naivety is a shortcut to the grave. As long as I'm somewhere between "not an asshole" and a "not a nice guy," I should be fine. Olette is glued to the ground and unwilling to move.
"Are you coming? Or am I gonna have to drag you?" I'm sure this requires a delicate touch, but I'm pressed for time. I approach her when she suddenly speaks.
"When I saw his body…" Her voice is barely above a whisper. "I wasn't sad or shocked. Do you know how I felt?"
"Afraid?"
"No. I was happy. Can you believe it? I was happy it wasn't me—happy that I didn't die." She giggles terribly. "Horrible, isn't it? It was never me or him. It was always me. I left him without a second thought. I left him there to die on his own… to that monster." Is she trying to play the villain? Her cruel words seek punishment for cowardice. I won't give her the satisfaction. I'll absolve her of responsibility because that's what a good guy does.
"You only did what was natural."
"Natural? What's fucking natural about it? You weren't there. You didn't hear it—his screams—my god—the screams—I never knew humans could make that kind of noise. Even now, I can hear it." She shakes her head and covers her ears with cold, sweaty palms. "I'll never forget it, his screams…"
What am I supposed to do? Stand awkwardly as she beats herself up? As far as I know, she's absolutely right. She's a coward, through and through—the farthest thing from a hero—or heroine. I can't blame her though. When the situation's that extreme, anything can happen. I should console her somehow. Not sure if this is the right thing to do, but it's what the script calls for. I step in and hug her. My arms wrap around awkwardly. I feel like I'm exploiting the situation—but it's not like I have any ulterior motives. I'm sure there are better ways to cop a feel than trying to comfort a girl whose boyfriend just got eviscerated. I'm doing this just because I'm supposed to. That's it. "You're only human. If you were any better, you'd be dead."
"Am I a bad person?" she asks, her voice muffled by my shirt.
"If you're bad, then I'm way worse. I don't feel a damn thing. He's dead. We're alive. Let's keep it that way. There'll be plenty of time for grief after we get out of here."
She draws back hesitantly. "It's just… I don't know. It doesn't make any sense. All of this… why is it happening to us?" That's probably my fault. I'm the one who wrote this story.
"Let's go before everybody ditches us."
She cracks a somewhat bitter smile. "You're terrible at giving hugs, you know that?"
"Sue me. It's my first time."
"I can tell. Hopefully, you're better at holding hands." She shows me her open palm. Is she inviting me to…?
"If it makes you feel better…" I grab her hand and she squeezes back warmly.
"It will."
I didn't see this coming. Death brings out all sorts of reactions. Some want to be alone and some… just want to be held. The rest of the group already packed up and moved ahead of us. Hand in hand together, Olette and I follow after the "X's" Riku marked on the trees for us to follow. It's an uneasy, yet, comfortable walk through the woods. The soft crunch of our footsteps fill the quiet air.
There were some serious horror vibes going on in the beginning, but now that the monster's finally showed itself, things have taken a turn for the worse. Ghosts, aliens, and zombies I can deal with, but a bear? That's way too normal. I'm not stupid. The bear's not the true villain here, it's just the catalyst. We'll have to fight against not only nature, but against each other—I'm talking about internal discord—that's the true enemy. If the group falls apart, it's all over.
"You want to know something funny?" Olette asks. "Well, it's not really funny, but—"
"What is it?"
"I…" She hesitates. "I was planning to break up with him after the trip—with Hayner, I mean."
"Huh." How do I even reply to that? Not only did you let your boyfriend die, but you were planning to break up with him too? This girl, man… this girl.
"It's just one horrible thing after the other with me."
"That's not it. None of us could've predicted this." Except me. Frankly, that's the only way I can see myself surviving. I'm gonna have to make some crazy guesses to get out of this one. "I thought you two were tight?"
"There's no such thing as a perfect relationship. Don't get me wrong, he wasn't bad—he was a nice guy. There just wasn't a future for us. I'm going to college and he didn't even have a plan."
"That's, uh… kind of harsh. But knowing what happened and all… I can't even begin to imagine how you feel."
"It hasn't really set in yet. I still hope, any second now, I'll wake up and think this was all just a bad dream."
"Me too."
A rustling noise interrupts us. We stop.
"Did you hear that?" Olette engulfs me with her body, my arm trapped between two warm mounds. It's a lovely trap, but a trap nonetheless. If worse comes to worse, I'll push her down and bolt—how's that for a taste of your own medicine? Damn it, I can't do that anymore. I forgot—the stupid rules. If I do that, I'm practically signing my own death warrant. The rustling gets louder. Heavy footsteps approach. Whatever it is, it's coming closer!
Oh.
It's just Kairi. She looks between me and Olette disapprovingly. Hey, what's that look for? It's not like I'm making a move on an emotionally vulnerable girl here. It's all her, I swear!
"What the hell's taking you guys so long? We thought we lost you."
"We were just—"
"Hurry up. We met a dead-end," she explains.
"What are you talking about?"
"Just follow me." She turns around and walks away.
Olette and I exchange glances and we shrug our shoulders. We follow Kairi, who is slightly ahead of us. Olette remains clingy. The deeper we move into the forest, the louder the sound of rushing water becomes. I see… There's a river blocking our path. Soon, we come upon the scene of Riku by the riverbank with Roxas and Naminé standing off to the side.
"This is one fine setback," I announce. Another obstacle and another chance for our group to unravel; I have to tread carefully. "Any ideas, Riku?"
He backs away from the river and strokes his chin in thought. "This is bad. We're not equipped to cross this river, especially with how wide and deep it is. If we're not careful, we'll be carried away by the current." I can see and hear what he means. The river roars, the sound filling our ears as the currents crash against the rocks. The embankment is covered in rich white foam, bubbles rising from turbulent tides.
"I thought you and Naminé went out to avoid this kind of shit," Roxas says angrily. "Were you two even scouting yesterday?"
"Obviously, we didn't go out far enough. We didn't have the time. The sun set too soon."
"Calm down." Naminé tugs on her boyfriend's sleeve, but it only aggravates him further.
"This is your fault." Roxas points at Riku threateningly. "How are we gonna get across this?" Roxas is acting like a powder keg. He's looking an excuse to blow up, and right now, Riku makes for one convenient target.
Our leader is unfazed. "We're gonna have to go around it. We'll split up in two and go in each direction until one of use finds a way across—a shallow, a fallen log—something like that."
Already, the alarm bells are ringing in my head. "Are you sure you want to do that? I think it's better to stick together," I propose.
"That's inefficient and a waste of time," he tells me. "Better to cover more ground."
"But it's more dangerous. I don't want that bear picking us off when we're split up." That's like, horror 101, bro.
"But the longer we stay on this side of the river, the worse, don't you agree?" Goddammit. He's right. It's a catch-22. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
"Fine, how are we going to split?"
"Riku and I will take Olette," Kairi answers quickly. "You go with Roxas and Naminé." I get the feeling she has a vested interest in keeping me and Olette apart. It's probably the best way to split since we have two couples and two stragglers. It's an equal distribution, but I can't help but pick up jealous vibes from her. Might just be my ego too. Whatever. There's a bear out there. The only thing I should be worrying about is surviving.
"Then you go upstream and we go downstream?"
Riku nods. "If one of us finds something, run to the other group. But if we both find nothing after thirty minutes, we should head back here and come up with a new plan."
"Sounds good to me." I expect Roxas to lash out but the plan is airtight, really no room for complaints. He grudgingly accepts.
"Fine."
"Before we head out, this is a good chance to refill our water. You guys take a break. Kairi and I will take care of everything."
"Thanks." I hand over my water bottle to Kairi and watch as they refill it by the river. Olette sits down next to me.
"Do you think we'll be fine?"
"Don't be stupid and you'll live."
She chuckles softly. "Thanks for your words back there. I know it doesn't change anything but… it made me feel better. I guess there's plenty of time to feel like shit after this is all over, huh?"
"Yeah—" A water bottle flies into my chest.
"Water's all good. Time to go." Kairi stares at Olette, imploring her to move.
"I'll catch you later," Olette says.
"Be careful." She goes over to Riku while Kairi remains. "Something to say?"
Kairi's face softens. "Watch yourself out there, Sora."
"You too." We part ways. I turn to face Roxas and Naminé. "Alright, lead the way."
They both walk a small distance ahead of me. With the river raging near us, I can't hear what they're talking about—not that I care, since I doubt it'll be anything useful. The key to surviving is to know what's coming next, but when you're in the thick of it like this, it's hard to think clearly. The bear can attack us right now or the bear could attack Riku and company, and there'd be no way we'd know—unless they come running after us covered in blood. I look at the river and it shows no sign of slowing down. Not a fallen log or stepping stone in sight. I'm getting a bad feeling about this. Actually, I probably shouldn't have said that.
"You guys feeling alright?" I ask.
Roxas looks over his shoulder. "I don't think any of us are alright—except for Riku. That guy gives me the creeps."
"What's wrong with Riku?"
"Nobody should be that calm," he argues.
"I disagree. We need calm. Cooler heads prevail."
"He's too cool," he mutters. Sounds like sour grapes to me. Fortunately for him, I see Riku as the next one to go. After displaying such leadership, it's only natural that he dies next. Because nobody else here has the balls to lead, and it'll make this excursion that much more exciting. I won't be surprised if a shark pops out of the river and snatches Riku with its jaws. Who's to say bears are the only threat around? We walk for a while longer and the sun begins to glow orange.
"Has it been thirty minutes yet?" Roxas asks.
Naminé takes out her phone, which I expect should be running low on battery by now. "Yeah, we should probably start heading back now."
"Damn it. We didn't find anything. Let's hurry."
We retrace our steps and return to original starting point half an hour later. We can tell because of a large "x" Riku left on a tree. There's nobody here. We all exchange worried glances. "Riku's usually on top of things…" I say.
"Nobody's perfect. They're just running a little late." I didn't expect Roxas to make an excuse for Riku, but it's probably for Naminé's sake. She's like a deer in the headlights.
"You think we should go after them?" she wonders. Oh man, this is probably the part where we go up ahead and find their totally dead bodies.
"Better than waiting around here," I say uneasily.
"Let's go then." We follow Roxas' lead. The good news: Riku had the presence of mind to leave of a trail of x's on the trees. The bad news: they disappeared forty minutes in. We're flying blind and there's no trace of them. Though none of us say it out loud, we're all thinking the same thing: we're in deep shit, and things are only getting worse as the sun sinks below the treeline.
"Shouldn't we stop?" Roxas ignores Naminé's suggestion and continues to march forward. I'm not sure which is the better option; stay or keeping moving? The exhaustion is getting to us though, and without food, we won't have any energy left.
"Roxas." He doesn't hear me. "Roxas!"
"What?!"
"Let's stop. We need to eat something and it's getting dark. I think we should set up camp here."
"Fuck." He looks around, searching for some sort of answer in the shadows, but there's nothing. "Fine. Do we have anything to eat?"
"Some chips," Naminé says, digging into her backpack.
"Okay." Roxas sits down and stretches out his legs. "We're totally screwed…"
"I love your optimism." I take my seat on the ground. Night has taken hold and it's only the moonlight that helps us see. Naminé offers me a bag, which I take gratefully. "What do you think happened to them?"
"I don't want to think about it," he replies.
"You think... the bear attacked them?" Naminé seems obsessed with the idea.
"Who knows?"
I munch on my chips quietly and watch the moon glitter on the river's surface. It dances wildly, losing and regaining form in a shower of gleaming sparkles. It's beautiful, hypnotic, and haunting. Here we are, in the dark wilderness, surrounded by the sound of rushing water. I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
And it does.
I shoot up to my feet when I see it. "SHIT!"
Roxas and Naminé flinch. "What is it?"
I point behind them, my hand shaking frightfully. "In the river—"
Is Olette—face-down, and floating.
