AN: Hello everyone, I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season (if you were celebrating) and a very happy new year! As usual, thanks for reading and sticking it out so far. I have a pretty good idea of how the next few chapters are laid out and where I'm going with them so they should be coming along shortly. Also, shout out to my awesome Beta, she knows who she is; what you guys should know is that she is awesome and is helping to make this story what it is. Alright, that's that. Nothing much else to report except to say thanks again, and enjoy the chapter. Your feedback, as always, in any form, is most welcome! Happy reading!
The night of Danielle's migraine ended without incident.
Bucky sat through the entirety of The Princess Bride, chuckling quietly to himself, on occasion, as Danielle dozed beside him. She had woken a few times to interject some thought or giggle faintly at a favorite joke or line, but mostly, she slept. Bucky expected that at some point he'd feel uncomfortable; awake while she was sleeping next to him, but he hadn't. Well, there was that moment in the film that had made him feel uneasy, when Westley had been strapped to a wooden rack, and a machine had been attached to him; causing him immense pain and stripping away years of his life. The idea that a machine could suck out years of your life didn't particularly bother him, but the way the character had been strapped down, the way the machine attached to his head, and his screams when it was turned on made Bucky's heart pound, frantically. He could almost feel the panic rising but he kept reminding himself to breathe, managing to quickly mute the television until the scene had passed.
He found that just not hearing the man's tortured screams was enough to keep him from spiraling too far into his own memories. He also suspected that the gentle, rhythmic breathing of the woman next to him, bundled in her blankets, went a long way in helping him keep his level-headedness.
By the time the movie was over he felt relatively normal again; he'd even been able to enjoy the ending. In fact, he had enjoyed the film over all, and he could certainly see why Danielle was so taken with it as a child, and why it still held a special place now. Buttercup might have been a princess, but she wasn't your average princess and that seemed only right to Bucky. Danielle wasn't at all average either.
He half expected her to protest when he'd woke her afterward and told her he was leaving so that she could go back to bed and get some rest. It wasn't all that late and while he suspected she wanted to object, she was tired enough that she surprised them both and agreed.
He found, sitting in the truck, that despite the fact that he knew she was over any pain or discomfort, he had trouble turning the key in the ignition and driving away. The actual drive wasn't much better. His thoughts kept turning back to the way he'd found her that morning, how still she'd been lying at the bottom of the stairs. It made him grip the steering wheel a little more tightly, though he was careful not to clutch it too tight. He didn't want to have to explain two cracked steering wheels.
Upon returning to the compound, he was glad to find Steve in the gym. Obviously, he'd gotten tired of waiting on Bucky, and that was fine. At least he was still up and around, because however unusual it was, Bucky felt like it might be nice to talk. At least a little.
"Everything alright?" Steve called out, making his way over as Bucky stepped through the doors, pausing at a bench to drop his towel and water bottle.
"Yeah, it is." Bucky wanted to talk, but beginning was difficult. Steve was patient though and could see that his friend had something on his mind.
"Good. Just a little late, so I wondered…" Steve propped himself against the wall, wiping sweat from his face with the back of his hand.
"Yeah…" Bucky had been flipping the lid of the water bottle open and closed, but after a moment he quit fussing with it and straightened up, meeting Steve's gaze. "When I got there this morning… Ty was outside on the porch whining. No lights were on... couldn't hear her, Danielle, moving in the house." He swallowed hard and glanced down at his shoes. "Found her lying at the bottom of the stairs."
"Was she alright? Is she alright?" Steve was concerned, even more so when Bucky looked up at him, his face stricken.
"Yeah. She's fine. Um… She hadn't fallen or anything, just sort of, laid down there." He reached up to scratch the back of his neck, realizing he was having trouble controlling his emotions, that he couldn't keep them from appearing on his face. "She has migraines, apparently. Has for a long time, and they can be really bad?" He shrugged a little. "I had no idea. She has medicine for them, a shot. I had to give it to her. She slept through the rest of the day. Didn't wake up until the evening… I guess it just looked a lot worse than it was when I first got there." He hurried through, giving Steve the abridged version. He wasn't sure Danielle would want him broadcasting her getting sick or the details of her day.
"Sorry man." Steve reached out and clapped Bucky on the shoulder. "Glad she's alright. It's a good thing you were there Buck."
"Yeah." He nodded, taking a deep breath. It felt like the first one he'd been able to take since he'd left the compound hours ago. "I uh… I just wanted to stay and make sure everything was ok before I came back." He said it as if he needed to explain. He didn't need to explain anything to Steve, but it seemed it was more for himself anyhow.
"Yeah of course." Steve nodded. His face grew a little serious and he took a step closer to Bucky, gripping his shoulder tightly. "Listen, Buck. I know it must have been scary to find her lying at the bottom of the stairs; that would scare anyone. There's nothing wrong with that." Steve stepped back a little and he looked at Bucky for a minute before speaking again. "You're allowed to care."
Bucky shifted uncomfortably under Steve's gaze and words. In a way, Bucky hated how Steve seemed to be able to zero right in on the problem. In a way, he was glad he had. It saved Bucky from having to say it out loud. He took another deep breath in and nodded at Steve, his jaw tight, muscle ticking away on the side of his face as he tried to balance his feelings.
"I know. I just," he hesitated, agan taking a deep, steadying breath. "I didn't expect to… to care." Bucky reached up to grip Steve's shoulder, mirroring his touch, for just a moment. Then, he nodded and stepped back. "Feel like sparring?"
"Absolutely." Steve smacked his arm again and marched, without any further looks or questions, over to the ring, Bucky hot on his heels.
The workout definitely helped Bucky relax a little and he supposed, whether he liked to admit it or not, the brief chat with Steve did too. Still, even after he was back in his quarters, exhausted and lying in his own bed, he had to keep reminding himself that Danielle was fine, and that she'd promised to call if anything happened.
It didn't matter. He got less sleep that night than usual and when he arrived the next morning to find the lights on and Danielle scrambling eggs in the kitchen, he hugged her a little tighter and a little longer than he had before.
Danielle didn't give herself time to wonder about the hug or to let it rattle her nerves. She leaned into it and gave him the biggest smile she could muster. She was rewarded with a genuine smile from Bucky in return. It made her heart thud so suddenly that she had to turn away; pretending to busy herself over the eggs to give her a minute to get herself under control. By the time she sat their plates on the little table in the kitchen, she hardly seemed flustered at all.
"I got a call from the roofing company a few minutes before you got here," she informed him, glancing up as he sat down across from her. "They finished the barn roof yesterday. They'll be coming back to collect their equipment this afternoon, but otherwise we are good to go." She smiled at him and before he could respond, continued. "I was hoping we might go down there today and start clearing some things out. That is, I mean… I am going to. If you want to come that would be… nice." She added the last hastily, swallowing hard and pushing a mouthful of eggs between her lips before she could say anything else that sounded so, well, stupid. The memory of the mess she'd been the day before and the awkward tension that had ran between them in the evening was still hanging around her brain. She was having trouble shaking it off.
"Yeah. Of course." Bucky quirked an eyebrow up at her, deciding that maybe she was still a little out of sorts from the day before and letting her awkward words slide without any further thought. "That's the plan, right? Depending on how long it takes to clear out the stuff inside we could be working on the exterior walls by the end of the week." He gave her another little smile, and then ducked his head to tuck into breakfast.
Thankfully, for the both of them, clearing out the barn was a sufficient distraction to keep any tension or nerves at bay for the rest of the morning. There wasn't much being stored in the main barn to clear out, so by mid-morning they had it empty and on a whim, had gone to scour some of the other outbuildings on the property - to see if anything in them might be of use. The whim proved to be fruitful. Several of the smaller buildings toward the back of the property really needed to be torn down all together, but the old doors, windows, and even a few tables and storage units found inside them were going to make great additions to the barn remodel.
By lunchtime they'd loaded a few of their finds into Bucky's truck, confirmed that the newly milled and treated timber would be arriving in a couple of days, and had a game plan for the barn that was drawn out in detail Bucky's notebook.
It gave Danielle a sort of renewed sense of purpose and eased her mind a little. She'd been thinking about the informal meeting Gina had set between herself and the woman from the local Chamber of Commerce this coming Friday. The woman was heavily involved in community events and was, apparently, interested in holding the annual fall festival at the farm. That was both an exciting and daunting prospect. But it was what Danielle had imagined for this place, so if it was even remotely possible that she could secure something like that, she had to try. That meant, of course, making sure the barn and at least the front part of the property was in shape.
The festival was held toward the end of October and that meant she only had about a month to get it all done. No, they. Bucky was going to help, she reminded herself. Together, she thought, they would certainly be able to get it ready for the festival. If she could do her part and secure it with the Chamber and other groups that sponsored it.
Bucky had headed down to the construction site, intent on making an appearance, even if only for a few minutes every other day or so. He wanted to check on things and make sure everything was running according to plan. He had a job to do, he'd said, and even if it was only scheduling and paperwork at this point, he still intended to do it.
Danielle didn't have a problem with that. As she walked back to the house, she thought it was good, even. It would give her time to call Gina and get a little more information about this Darla Anderson she was supposed to meet with and formulate a plan for their meeting. Then she could take their notes from the morning and start to work out some sort of timeline. It seemed like a productive way to spend the afternoon, a solid plan. At least, it had been, until she saw the delivery truck pulling away and the large box on the front porch.
When Bucky came in the door a little while later, he was surprised to see Danielle sitting, crossed legged on the floor, amid several piles of photos. An open cardboard box was sat on the end of the coffee table nearest her and Ty was situated in front of the empty fireplace, resting his head on several pieces of bubble-wrap.
Bucky started to make a little joke, comment on the state of the living room… everything was typically very tidy in Danielle's home, so he thought it a good chance to rib her a little. When he stepped into the room though she looked up at him, her eyes red-rimmed, tears still drying on her cheeks as she sniffled a little and brought her free hand up to wipe at her face; the other was holding a polaroid to her chest.
"Danielle?" He knelt down in front of her, reaching a hand out to grab her ankle, gently. He felt his heart constrict and he immediately wondered if something terrible had happened; images of the migraine incident and Danielle's pained face flashing into his mind.
"Sorry… Momma sent me this box of old pictures… and…" She tried to get her voice under control. It was stupid to be sitting here and crying over a picture of her and Andrew, her older brother, as children. Nothing had happened, Andrew was fine, she was fine, her parents were fine… She just hadn't really allowed herself to admit it, until now, but she'd been growing fairly homesick and opening the box of pictures had brought all of that right out from where it'd been hiding.
"It's ok…" Bucky squeezed her ankle a little and slid his legs down underneath him, being careful not to crush any of the pictures strewn around on the floor. "Looks like she sent you a lot of photos…" He wasn't sure what to say, wasn't sure how upset she was or how he should comfort her.
"Yeah… I asked her to when I first moved, and it took them some time to make the copies and get them all together. She sent a few other things too but… I haven't gotten that far yet." She gestured to the box and gave him a small smile, her eyes still a little wet. "Sorry, I just miss them," she glanced up at him, smiling faintly, sadly and then continued. "This is a picture of my brother Andrew and I…" She tried stretching out her arm, so he could see but, the angle was wrong, and they were too far separated so Danielle pushed a smaller stack of photos to the side and crawled over next to him to show him the image. "I was six… Andrew would have been almost eight…" The picture showed a little Danielle, very blonde and with a bright pink cast on her right elbow; beside her, a little boy sat, his arm flung over her shoulder. 'Danielle & Andrew '92 ' was scrawled across the white frame of the polaroid in haphazard cursive.
"Look at you…" Bucky took the picture from her and peered down at it. It was obviously Danielle, but her hair was a light blonde, her cheeks chubby, and one of her teeth was missing; clearly visible in the wide grin she had on her face. He laughed just a little and glanced down at her, glad to see that she was smiling some. "What happened?"
"We were outside at my Aunt's playing hide and seek… Me, Andrew, and our older cousin, Michael… I tripped and fell trying to run up to this concrete patio they had out back… I put my arms out to catch myself, but my right elbow cracked against the corner of the concrete. It was only a fracture, but I still had to wear the cast. Michael ran inside to get an adult and I was crying so Andrew came over to try and make me feel better…" She glanced up at Bucky, leaning into him a little, her cheek barely brushing the fabric of his shirt, against his shoulder. "He was trying to be grown up about it… but by the time we got to the hospital, he was crying too." She chuckled a little and shook her head at the memory.
"That's sweet…" Bucky smiled a little, but it caught on his face, only for a moment, looking as if he was holding it there purposefully to cover something else. Danielle almost asked him what was wrong, but he began speaking before she could.
"I had a sister…" He handed her back the photo and looked over at her. "Rebecca… I don't have many memories of her, but I can kind of remember what she looked like when she was young." He took a deep breath clearing his throat. "I can hear her laugh in my head, sometimes." He was trying to keep his tone light, Danielle could tell, but the sadness was creeping through anyhow.
"I'm sorry…" She whispered, scooting a little closer and sliding her arm through his.
Bucky pulled away immediately and Danielle was about to move back, thinking she'd overstepped somehow, but he surprised her. He picked up his right arm, pulling it from hers and dropped it around her shoulders, leaning himself back against the bottom of the arm chair behind him. His fingers curled around Danielle's shoulder and pulled her against him, his head dropping back a moment to rest against the seat of the chair.
"Nothing for you to be sorry about… that was a long time ago." He cleared his throat again, sitting up, and pointed at a picture on the floor of a young man in uniform. "Who's that?" He was trying to distract himself, both from the memory of his sister and the fact that he'd just initiated such purposeful, close contact with Danielle. She obviously didn't mind, in fact she seemed to be content leaning against him, but it didn't make it any less nerve-wracking on his part.
"My Uncle, William… My Mom's older brother." Danielle leaned forward and picked the photo up, bringing a small stack of other pictures with it. She half expected Bucky to take the opportunity to break the contact, but he didn't. It was surprising how easy it was to lean back against him, her cheek resting against the front of his shoulder, tilted up to see him while she showed him the photograph.
"Marine Corps?" Bucky took the photo from her and looked it over, noting the crisp, dress blues the man wore.
"Yeah. This was his graduation. Parris Island, I think." She set it to the side and showed him another, featuring the same young man, also in his dress uniform. The picture was, judging by the color palette, taken in the seventies and showed the Marine escorting a woman, in a simple, but elegant wedding dress, walking up the aisle. "My parent's wedding…"
"She's very pretty. You look like her." Bucky leaned down a little, trying to get a better look, acutely aware of how close Danielle's face was to his, though she didn't seem to notice.
"Oh! Yeah… She is… and thanks… usually people think I look more like my Dad." She was definitely aware of their close proximity and felt suddenly awkward and unsure of herself. The fleeting memory of a similar sensation from the night before sliding back across her brain. "There's probably a hundred pictures here." She said, by way of changing the subject. "Oh! And a couple of other things in the box… I don't know what they are."
Danielle leaned forward as if to pull it off of the table, but Bucky stopped her, reaching over her and pulling the box gently from the table to sit in his lap. There were several, heavily wrapped items in the bottom and he pulled one out and handed it to her. After a moment of fighting with the paper and packing around it she managed to reveal a small glass platter, tinted a pale blue, with a dainty pattern cut into the rim, the sight of which made both of them gasp a little.
"I know what that is…" He almost whispered it, flicking his eyes up to meet Danielle's when she looked up at him. "May I?" He held out his hands and she placed the platter into them.
"It was my Great-Grandmother's. It's called Depression Glass… I can't remember the name of the pattern." Danielle watched him turn it over in his hands, his eyes going a little glassy, getting that far-away look in them again. It didn't last long though, he passed the platter back to her and let her re-wrap it and set it carefully in the box before he spoke again.
"When I was younger… before the War…" He cleared his throat, moving his arm back around her, this time in an effort to seem casual, as if nothing was amiss. "You could buy that at the grocery store, or sometimes, with certain types of food, you'd get a piece… It was pretty cheap. I think we had a few pieces and, we didn't have much money at all." He hazarded a glance at Danielle who had relaxed against his side and was listening with rapt attention. "I remember, when I was older… when… Steve and I were sort of… on our own..."
Danielle could hear that there was some hesitation in his voice now, and he paused, trying to collect himself before he continued. There wasn't anything particularly emotional about this memory, or bad… it was just, unexpected and, except with Steve and occasionally his therapist, Dr. Jansen, he never really talked about his life from before. It was more natural to do with Steve, with the doctor, it was clinical… this… telling Danielle… it felt different. He didn't quite know how but, it made it more difficult in a way. He felt like he was revealing something very personal to her, despite the fact that it was no more personal than what she'd just divulged to him.
"I was headed downtown to one of the clubs… to go dancing." He pressed on, focusing on the memory.
"You went dancing?" Danielle's eyes widened, her mouth curling into a bright smile as she tilted her face up to him a little more. She didn't know why she should be surprised about that, social dance used to be a much bigger part of life than it was now; at least, it was much different than it was today. She suspected Bucky would not recognize or like the dance clubs of 2018.
He nodded, and his mouth twitched a little, one side curling up in what she could only be described as a rakish smile. "Mhmm… The Dame's loved it…"
He gave her sly grin and the tiniest wink, and for a moment, she could see it. She could vaguely remember the news reports about him, showing his service photo; a strikingly handsome young man, in uniform, who definitely had a witty charm and bit of cheek to him. Just then, when he'd said those words, given her that little half-smile and wink, she saw that man peeking through.
For Bucky's part, he didn't really know what had brought out that flirtatious behavior or had prompted him to speak that way. It wasn't untrue… girls had loved to go dancing, and he'd loved spending the evenings holding them as they whirled around the floor. But any misgivings he might have had about his words or actions were quelled by Danielle's response.
"Dames, huh?" She managed, though the words were accompanied by what she might later consider to be an embarrassing giggle; it only made Bucky's smile grow wider. Danielle cut her eyes at him, trying to wrangle her mind away from the image of a clean-cut, cocky, James Barnes leading girls out on the dance floor.
Bucky laughed a little and nodded again. "Yeah… Dames… we used to call girls that. I don't… I guess that's not ok anymore." He shrugged a little and seemed to refocus on his story. "I was coming down the stairs and a woman who lived on the floor below us was carrying a platter, kind of like that one… only hers was green." He took a deep breath, Danielle's smile reassuring him somehow, so that he could continue. "I didn't really know her. She had a lot of kids and no husband… I just remember that she had all this food piled on that plate. More food than any of us ever really had at that time. At least all at once." He swallowed, audibly, hesitating again before continuing. "I don't know if she was going or coming with it, but she slipped in the hall. She almost didn't drop it… Almost." He sighed and shook his head. "It went everywhere, shattered into about a million pieces. All of the food hit the floor... I just remember her being so upset and how, there wasn't anything I could do. "
Danielle leaned into him, her hand reaching up to press gently against his chest when he grew silent, the touch prompting him to speak again.
"I don't know why that came back to me. I just… I always thought, if she was taking it somewhere, it must have been hard on her to get together enough food for herself and her kids, let alone anyone else. And if she was bringing it home… they must have needed it." Bucky almost wished he hadn't mentioned the memory. It made him sad in a way he couldn't quite identify, and he had to keep reminding himself that the woman was dead, her kids probably quite old now, and that there was nothing he could do for them.
Danielle seemed to understand that it had some impact on him, and they were both quiet for a moment, which he was grateful for. In fact, sitting there, in silence, he surprised himself again by finding that he wasn't nervous anymore. He realized he was pretty comfortable sitting on the floor like this, despite their prolonged and, fairly intimate, at least for Bucky, contact.
It was Ty who broke the quiet, shifting on the pile of bubble wrap in his sleep. It seemed to snap them both out of thought, making Danielle chuckle a bit before reaching for another pile of photos.
"Want to look at a few more pictures? I'm sure they sent some embarrassing ones… Although, if you see any of me in middle school you might run for the door." She laughed a little and Bucky smiled, seemingly thankful for the change of topic. He reached up and sat the box back on the coffee table and nodded at her, settling back against the chair.
"That bad huh?" Bucky squeezed her shoulder as she riffled through the stack of photos to find what she was looking for, "I can't wait."
Despite the fact that there was some urgency in working on the barn and making the front of the property presentable if she had any hope of securing the fall festival event, it had been nice to spend the afternoon inside reminiscing over photos with Bucky. After he'd told the story about the Depression Glass they had focused on photos from Danielle's childhood, or family. She'd taken care to direct their conversation, to keep it light; mocking her terrible fashion choices, and the trends visible through the years on display in the photos to imbue their conversation with humor. It had worked, and they had whiled away several hours comfortably sitting, with Bucky's arm around her shoulders, and her leaned against his side, chatting easily as if were a common occurrence.
He hadn't been gone all that long when the phone rang. In fact, Danielle had just sat down at the kitchen island, their notes on the renovation spread out in front of her. The caller ID read Gina's name and it reminded Danielle she'd been planning to call her earlier, before the box of pictures had distracted her.
"Hey girl!" Gina must have been in her car, Danielle could hear, through the Bluetooth connection, the sounds of her blinker and passing traffic.
"Hey G! Thanks for checking in again yesterday… and for mentioning the shot to Bucky." She'd already said thanks but, it didn't hurt to say it again.
"Of course… Lucky I called, if I do say so myself. Sorry if it's loud, I'm on the way home." Gina chuckled, confirming what Danielle had already suspected. "Speaking of yesterday… the reason I called was, I saw an email from Darla before I got in the car to head to the office. I was calling to tell you that she said she would be coming out of a meeting with the historic society and to the festival for a little while, early on… She said she would be out and down by the concert stage around 5 if you wanted to meet there."
"Yeah… Thanks. I was going to ask if there was a time or place. Maybe when I get there I can just give you a call? Unless you weren't going to be present…"
"No, no… I figured I'd make the introduction in person and then leave you two to talk, or I can stay… Ma'am!" Gina said the last word as if she were scolding someone, someone who obviously wasn't Danielle. "You could have put on your blinker and then I would have known you were turning… ugh!"
Danielle couldn't help but chuckle. "Everything alright?"
"Yes. These people on the road, you know? Anyway… I may have been wrong about Bucky." Gina said it with the same tone that she'd used when talking about drivers on the road. Casual, slightly exasperated.
"I'm sorry… what?" Danielle wanted to hear her say it again; both for the satisfaction it would bring and to make sure she'd said what she thought.
"I might have judged him a little too quickly… harshly. Ok? Look, I admit when I'm wrong. And let's be clear, I'm not 100% sold but, he seemed genuinely concerned about you yesterday and, it was good of him to stay and make sure you were alright." She conceded.
"Yeah," Danielle felt her throat tighten a little, but she ignored it. "It was and thank you. Just give him a chance please. He just… requires a little patience and understanding. He's a good person, G."
"I promise… I'll be better." Gina agreed, and the sound changed, less background noise leading Danielle to assume Gina had arrived at her destination. "What are you wearing? Something cute. I want you to meet Mike. That's the new guy I told you about. He's coming, and I've raved about you so…"
Danielle scoffed in mock disgust. "How dare you? I'm always cute." Gina only laughed in response, Danielle joining her.
"Alright… I need to run. If I don't talk to you before text me on Friday when you head in. I'll see you at the concert. Make sure Barnes cleans up too. You're bringing him along right?"
"Yeah, He's coming. Steve too, I think. See you on Friday." The phone went dead, and Danielle set it back onto the counter. This Friday was going to be a little make or break, she thought. Perhaps even in more ways than one.
There was the conversation about whether or not the farm was a good candidate as location for the fall festival and then there was going out in public with Bucky. The former had been on her mind since the day Gina mentioned it. It was exactly what she'd wanted for this place. A way to invest in the community, be part of it, and use her skills in events and management to do something she loved her own way, on her own terms.
And then, there was Bucky. She wasn't so much worried about him as she was worried for him. She didn't know how overwhelming this concert might be. She had no idea how many people would be there or how they might react to him in person.
What she did know was that if this thought was plaguing her mind, it must have been haunting Bucky; though she suspected he wouldn't be eager to admit to it. It didn't matter. If he was willing to put himself out there like this, she was going to do everything she could to make sure they both had a good time.
