Author's notes: Oh dear, the second-biggest Ichigo ship. I was really hoping this would come up later rather than sooner, but at least this way I won't have to worry about it any longer. This is where it really starts getting controversial and potentially-inflammatory. If this is your ship, please bear in mind that I am lampooning everything, not just IchiHime. I PROMISE IT'S NOT PERSONAL PLEASE DON'T KILL ME
Chapter warnings: The usual, in addition to references to a couple of canon starboards.
Today's person-to-be-paired-with-Ichigo is... Orihime! -RK
Poor her. -RA
No, I'm pretty certain she likes him. -RK
Do they actually have anything in common? -RA
... -RK
No, not really, if I'm honest. -RK
They'd look sweet together though, wouldn't they? Perhaps one of us can do something with that. -RA
You just gave me a fabulous idea! -RK
Orihime hummed cheerfully as she pushed the supermarket trolley down the produce aisle, dragging her boyfriend behind her by the hand.
"Are you looking for anything in particular?" asked Ichigo.
Orihime nodded. "We're out of carrots! I need carrots to dip in the Nutella."
Ichigo smiled and patted Orihime on the head. "That sounds like a wonderful combination, my darling." (Does this seem horrendously out-of-character for Ichigo? -RK) (Yes. Please do continue. -RA)
"It is! Almost as good as prawn crackers dipped in custard."
"Yum."
The pair continued walking and Orihime made a gleeful exclamation as she spotted the mass of orange on a shelf. "Here they are! Look, Ichigo, this one looks like you!"
Ichigo laughed indulgently as she held up the carrot to his head, where the orange clashed horrifically with his weird hair.
"I could say it more closely resembles you, except I would not be so insulting to describe you as a vegetable," replied Ichigo, running a hand through Orihime's long hair as she put the carrot in the trolley before she reached up and kissed him on the cheek.
LOOOOOL. -RA
Seriously? -RA
Yeah, I don't know. I was going for the sort of thing Orihime would imagine in her sparkly-vision. -RK
Because you just know that ACTUAL Ichigo WOULD have done something like call her a vegetable. That boy really is a moron. -RK
Yeah, he kind of is, isn't he? I think you got Orihime's image of him pretty much spot-on, though. -RA
Actually, I really do think that Orihime would probably like to read it. Do you think you could delete our comments and forward it to her? I would, except I kind of need to deal with a plus right now; Ichigo can't konso it or it would be destroyed forever. That boy really is hopeless - why would you send a boy with a Quincy weapon to do a Soul Reaper's job? -RK
Talk to you later. -RK
Okay. Do you want the good news or the bad news? -RA
Let's start with the good news. -RK
I forwarded your ficlet! -RA
And there's bad news? Oh crud, Orihime didn't respond badly, did she? I thought she'd love it. -RK
The bad news is that Orihime didn't respond at all. Because my e-mail service forwarded it to the wrong person. -RA
Oh gosh, PLEASE tell me you didn't accidentally send it to Ichigo. -RK
I didn't send it to Ichigo. -RA
Oh, that's good. -RK
It's so much worse. -RA
I accidentally sent it to Ishida. -RA
... -RK
But I think I can be excused for the mistake - "Inoue" and "Ishida" are like right next to each other alphabetically. It's super easy to accidentally click on the wrong name. -RA
It just occurred to me that it's my brother's birthday in a couple of months and I haven't seen him for a while. Perhaps I should pay him a visit. -RK
Like, right now. -RK
Good idea. I, um, look forward to seeing you. =) -RA
... Please don't kill me. -RA
Then again, I think I might be more scared of Uryu Ishida in protective-mode than I am of you. -RA
You sure about that? -RK
... Not entirely. -RA
More author's notes: Fortunately for these two, Uryu never received that e-mail. When Renji asked, he was given a false e-mail address. ^_^
