Chapter 9- Jace's Secret Part 1

It was nightfall when Clary finally awoke from her light sleep. She knew that Jace was gone before she opened her eyes. It shouldn't have been a surprise, Jace did warn her that he had to leave and would be back at sunrise. Yet, she still felt her heart clench with disappointment. What was happening to her? The distraught young women sighed softly looking around the bare cave deciding what was she going to do now. She was too restless to fall back to sleep and she needed something to take her mind off of the handsome man who dominated her thoughts. Deciding she needed something to do to pass the time she took out her sketch book from her bag. Wrapping herself in covers she began drawing next to the blue flame fire. It was warm and she looked at the hearth curiously. The fire blazed beautifully with blue and white flames bringing a warmth that didn't reach her heart. Clary never knew how the pit came to life since she had never lit it herself. She suspected the wolf god had something to do with it. Regardless she was grateful for the warmth and shelter from the storm still raging outside. She hoped Jace would be back soon and that wherever he was, he was nice and dry. The young man didn't need to catch a cold after fighting off demon venom only a day ago. Clary silently shook her head trying to draw her thoughts away from Jace.

Looking down at the paper Clary couldn't help but think of the demon in the cave. The redhead began to draw the hideous monster. She always drew all of the demons she had come in contract with along with any weaknesses she had discovered. She hoped to make a book one day to help her people. Fire demons were often difficult to see because their bodies were usually alight with bright flames. Until she had worked with Simon and Izzy to destroy the pit in Ignis she didn't even know they had bodies. The demon they had encountered a day ago was different than the others. His body was grotesque and large and easily visible through the flames. He had four arms that were lumpy and charcoal black. Each arm had a set of three long claws dripping with poison. Its eyes were red and stood out against the red and black flames. She had finished the drawing and threw it to the side. It was too life-like and too soon to think about. Still, it was better than thinking about Jace and his soft perfect lips. A battle the petite redhead lost recalling what a wonderful those lips gave her. Kissing him made her toes curl and her breath shorten. She sighed, finally obliging her mind.

Clary wanted to see him again, desperately but as excited as she was, she was scared. She didn't know where they stood now. Everything had changed so quickly that her mind was rushing to catch up. Was she just a companion for the night? That thought gave her no pleasure. Clary gasped. What if she was just some sort of challenge for him? Did he think of her as more? By the angel, she hoped that Jace cared for her as more. The poor redhead had been racking her brain all night finally coming to the conclusion that she had no clue about him, dating or any of these feelings. She knew that she cared for him very much. She would even consider herself falling in love with him. She wasn't quite at "love" yet but she was falling. Falling desperately down the tunnel with nothing to brace herself for the impact. It was only a matter of time until he would have her heart and she prayed to the angel that he didn't break it. Clary reluctantly looked outside at the cold rain falling down. It continued to pour down and it didn't look like stopping anytime soon. She sighed once again. She couldn't help that she was worried about Jace. It was natural to care about someone you liked well-being, right? Clarissa looked out into the storm and wished she hadn't made that promise to stay here. By her honor, she was bound to remain in this cave until he returned. Still, if she just stuck her head out that wouldn't qualify as leaving, would it?

Clary stood up from her place by the fire, wrapping the blankets around her with determination. She wasn't going to break Jace's promise, she was just going to bend it a bit. The small redhead rose from the blankets and stepped out towards the cave entrance. Her heart raced as her mind swelled with thoughts of him. She was acting like some love sick simpleton. The same ones Isabelle and she made fun of. The irony was not lost on her but did little to stop her heart from crying out for him. Standing at the entrance of the cave she stuck her head out allowing her hair to get wet in the process. Clary frowned when all she could see was darkness outside and it chilled her. Only the lake and the trees directly in front of her were visible. She grunted with annoyance. Everything was so wet, it was surprising that the water hadn't flooded the cave yet. Clarissa looked down to see a small trench carved out into the stone floor entrance that channeled water away. Clearly, whoever had lived her before had thought of everything. Taking a deep breath, she leaned against the threshold and wrapped her arms around her chilly body. Everything looked normal until she had caught a flash of white. Looking out once again she saw the outline of the guardian standing proudly on the outskirts of the lake. Her breath caught in her chest as fear flew through her body. She was still afraid of him but now that fear had been replaced with anger. She furious and had every right to be.

Jace had tried to convince her otherwise but to Clary, the giant wolf would always be a frightful monster who attacked the village. He was also the monster who did nothing to help Jace was he was struggling for his life. Clary snorted with disgust as the creatures golden eyes locked with hers. She wondered absently if he was here to kill her as punishment. Jace had told that he detested disobedience. Seeking out a fight with a demon and endangering herself and his favorite slave probably fit into that category. She contemplated hiding but it was too late for that. "Venturing out tonight little Clary?" his deep voice rumbled into her head. Clary didn't want to answer. She thought about how much she wanted to go outside and help Jace; to make sure he was okay. After all, he must still be sore from everything that had happened. However, she promised she would stay here and that is what she was going to do. If he wasn't back by sunrise she would go rushing out to look for him. Doe was sure to know where he was. "He didn't appear sore when I saw him. Searching for him won't be necessary. You needn't worry little one, your lover is safe." The voice replied in her mind. Clary's eyebrows rose in surprise. She didn't remember speaking out loud… Maybe she had spoken unintentionally? Yet, she couldn't recall doing so. Could, could he read her thoughts? The wolf stood silently as she pushed her next thoughts to him. She pictured Jace fighting the demon in the forest. The wolf's eyes narrowed. "No." his voice came to her. "I wouldn't have him fighting any of those creatures alone. You should have never faced the creature alone." He scolded. Clary blinked in disbelief. "You, you can hear my thoughts?" she asked out loud. The wolf smiled. "Only the ones that you direct towards me. I heard your thoughts from the cave and came to put your mind at rest." His voice called out again in her mind. "All of my thoughts? she squeaked. The wolf shook his head. "No, just the ones you send to me…. unfortunately." He growled.

"How do I send them to you?" she asked. The wolf grinned. "You direct them towards me." He replied. "But, I didn't direct any of my thoughts to you before?" she inquired. Again the wolf god grinned. "You were directing your thoughts out to Jace. He is with me so naturally, I came upon them. You seem to care a lot about him?" he asked curiously. Clary could feel her face going red. "Can, can he, hear my thoughts?" she squeaked. The creature's golden eyes blazed into her before he nodded. "Yes, but only during this time. When he is with the great guardian spirit. Fear not, he cannot hear your thoughts during the day; despite how much he wishes he could." The guardian chuckled. Clary let out a sigh of relief. "Thank the angel." She whispered. The wolf didn't look pleased for whatever reason. "Try again." He spoke. Clary looked at him curiously. "Don't you think it's a bit pretentious to thank you instead of the angel?" she asked. A deep laugh rumbled as loud as thunder. "I was referring to your thoughts. Try to communicate with your mind once more." He elaborated. Clary nodded obediently. She pictured the wolf before her smiling instead of frowning. He looked menacing when he frowned just like that night he first came- "Enough." The voice called. Clary opened her eyes and looked up at him curiously. "I can see that I frightened you but it is not in my nature to hurt humans." He smiled trying to reassure her. She vaguely recalled Alec and Magnus telling her that sometimes the god would kill outsiders. Then Jace himself had told her that outsiders came to steal the wolf's power. Her nose wrinkled with disgust. She wouldn't want his powers if she had the choice. A lifetime of lonely nights defending a village of ungrateful people for all of the eternity. To never experience happiness or love. Was the guardian even capable of love? Was Jace? "I am capable of love." The guardian replied. Clary's head turned towards him as her cheeks warmed. "Stay out of my head!" she yelled stomping her foot. The guardian just grinned. Clary wasn't amused.

She closed her eyes and concentrated on another thought. Of the people she missed. It was a picture of Max, Magnus, and Alec. Alec was strong, Max playful and Magnus was magical. Magical….She was concentrating hard when an image of Jace unconscious flashed into her memory. The white magical light surrounding his unconscious body. She quickly caught herself and quickly imagined Alex's bow and arrows. "Sorry, I am not used to this type of communication. My mind jumps around too much, as I am sure you are already aware." She hissed. She had wanted to ask the god when she could see her friends. It had been a month since she had been here. The wolf's bright gold eyes appraised her. "Please explain the light to me." He requested curiously. Clary shook her head. "It's nothing. Just something that happened. No need to worry yourself." She shrugged pulling her mind away from him. At least she hoped that was the case but the wolf wouldn't relent. "I am concerned, magic is not easily done and rarely without speaking. Now please show me what happened. I need to know in case your Jace is in danger again." The wolf commanded. Clary frowned. She wasn't sure if he was her Jace or not. This might all just be a game to him. "That is a question you should ask him." The wolf replied with a sense of compassion and pain. Clary blushed once again cursing under her breath. "I'm not going to show you anything now get out of my head!" she yelled out loud. She grunted, crossing her arms in annoyance. The wolf god continued to look at her, waiting. She knew what he was waiting for and seemed determined to get it as a devious smile came to his snout. "You know Jace would make a delicious snack. You did accuse me of eating humans before and I must admit the idea does seem quite tasty." He explained. "You lie." She started with uncertainty. The wolf merely grinned waiting.

Finally, Clary huffed in defeat. "Fine but no human snacks, promise?" she asked. The wolf nodded. Clary closed her eyes reluctantly and pictured the white light. She remembered crying in the forest, thinking she was saying goodbye. Then again in the cave with the antivenom. After a few moments, the redhead finally opened her eyes and watched the guardian's reaction. "You seem to have magic flowing through your veins. Were your parents magical?" he asked. Clary frowned. As the image of her mother laying on her death bed flashed before she could withdraw it from him in time. The guardian's eyes blazed in apology. "You miss her. That is why you wear her necklace?" he inquired. The redhead nodded, not trusting her words.

She fingered the silver key-shaped necklace. It was her mothers and the only thing she had left to remember her by. Is was silver with a beautiful blue stone in the middle. She never took it off and it matched the charm bracelet that Jace had given her. "Go to sleep Clarissa. Daybreak will be within the hour. Your mate will return to you then." He spoke. Clary had been in the process of turning when she froze. Her cheeks grew red as she eyed the wolf. "He is not my mate!" she snapped out loud. A low rumble rose from the guardian's throat. It sounded like he was laughing at her. Of all the nerve. "Not yet but soon. He is very taken with you and Jace always seems to get what he desires." He chuckled. Clary had wanted to tell him off for not helping her when Jace needed him. She wanted to question how much he really cared for his servant but bit her tongue. It would do her no good fighting with him and he had disappeared into the woods before she could say anything anyway.

Clary instead huffed and returned to her warm and dry bed. How would the giant wolf know what Jace wanted? She highly doubted that they shared that sort of information with one another. She couldn't see Jace talking to the god about his love life. The fact that he just assumed that they would be…well sleeping together just infuriated her. She took a deep breath trying to calm herself. The wolf was right about one thing. She did use magic and it was very unusual magic. Most spells require a chant or a mixture of some kind. Maybe her father had been a warlock or something. She never did meet the man. Mother had always told her that he died in the last war. Thinking about it made her tired and frustrated. The lay down on the blankets. After a few minutes she could feel her eyes began to droop close and before she knew it, she was fast asleep once again. She woke briefly when Jace returned cuddling back under the blankets beside her. Insecurities forgot at the moment, she cuddled into his chest and fell back to sleep. There were many things happening in her life right now that she questioned but being in Jace's arms wasn't one. He made her feel safe and that was something the young women wanted to get used to.

Days blended together after that first night. It seemed the wolf had been correct about the young man going after what he wanted. She may still question if he loved her but his interest left no room for misinterpretation. Jace had stayed with her every day after that night. He would often take her with him into the forest during the day. They would spend the entire day together before he would leave again at sunset to assist the guardian. After two weeks, she could no longer deny how she felt about Jace. She was in love with him. He consumed her every waking moment and sometimes even her dreams. She spent the days with him and the nights thinking about him. She loved the mornings where they did nothing but stay in bed and kiss. She had told him that she didn't want to have sex with him until they knew they loved her. The young man had nodded and understood. She had yet to tell him the depth of her feelings and it was becoming unbearable at times. She was waiting for him to say it first. He seemed to be so much more experienced than her when it came to things like this.

The only problem was that Clary could feel herself fall deeper and deeper in love with him with each passing day. She would awake when he crawled back into the bed with her after a long night. He was never too tired to talk to her or hold her. She had never felt so safe before. Clary loved how he would leave sometimes in the morning to get breakfast for them. He showed her around the forest and even how to hop from tree to tree. It was scary at first but she ended up loving it. She could defiantly get around quicker this way. The weather was getting warmer and he had taken it upon himself to teach her how to swim. Clary still blushed thinking about the first time she had seen him shirtless when he stripped to get in the water. She blushed even deeper when he got out and removed her dress from her trembling body. She was left in nothing but a bra and underwear in front of him. He had grinned wolfishly the entire time. When the swim lesson was over and their clothes were hanging out to dry he had wrapped her in the warm blankets next to the fire. He then kissed her until she couldn't tell left from her right. By the angel, she loved when he kissed her. Although he never pushed her into sex she had allowed his hands to draw pleasure from other parts of her body. She knew it was only a matter of time until she allowed him to make love to her. To take her in his arms and claim her maidenhood. To make her his and give himself to her. Instead of being afraid she desperately wanted it.

One afternoon they had returned from swimming and lay under the covers until their clothes dried. A result of Jace splashing her and Clary pushing him into the lake fully clothed. She giggled when he landed in the water only to suddenly be pulled in herself. She smiled at the hanging clothes as her body brushed against his bare leg and manhood. She instantly blushed. "Jace! You're not wearing anything!" she gasped. The blonde man just smiled twisting on top of her. "I was all wet and I didn't want to get the covers wet. Do you want to get the covers wet?" he whispered seductively. Clary couldn't trust herself to speak. She blushed shaking her head no. Jace smiled down at her. He looked into her eyes, holding her gaze as his fingers shook. She enjoyed making him nervous. He lightly pushed up her bra bringing it up over her head before tossing it onto a rock and into the sunlight. He then eyed her bare chest hungrily. They had messed around under the covers but she had never allowed him to see her naked. Now he looked at her as if he wanted to devour her. "You are so beautiful." He whispered. Her cheeks warmed as she pulled him down to kiss her. She kissed him passionately as their bare bodies collided with electricity. His fingers frantically traced her thigh pulling down her underwear. "Jace." She whispered. He stopped suddenly and looked at her wide-eyed. "Am I going to fast darling?" he asked worriedly. "No." she shook her head. "I just wanted to tell you that ….I love you." Clary breathed as the words forced themselves out of her mouth.

Jace's golden eyes looked down at her lovingly as his lips formed into a bright grin. "For how long?" he asked. The young women smiled weakly at him. "For awhile now. Why?" she stuttered. He leaned down and kissed her sweetly on the lips. "I was just curious who fell first." He whispered against her lips before drawing in a breath and kissing her again. "I've been in love with you from the moment you first kissed me, Clary." He replied. The redhead smirked. "You weren't conscious the first time I kissed you." She teased. Jace just grinned wolfishly and pinned her down beneath him. She gasped as his manhood pressed against the most intimate part of her. He was hard and her body flushed at the thought that she could get such a reaction from him. Jace groaned as he proceeded to kiss down the sensitive skin of her neck. It was something he knew drove her crazy. Her skin had always been sensitive and now she couldn't fight back. Her body squirmed in pleasure beneath him. "Jace!" she gasped looking up at his now serious gaze. "I love you more than anything Clarissa. I would fight hundreds of demons to keep you safe here in my arms. You have my heart. I am yours, please tell me that you are mine." He begged. Clary nodded.

"Yes. Yes for now and forever. I love you, Jace. I'm yours and you are mine. Take me." She whispered. He was about to do just that when a stream of sunlight illuminated the cave. "Damn it." He whispered looking out of the cave entrance and at the sun setting in the sky. Clary looked up and frowned. It would have to wait. "I…I have to go. Please forgive me-" he was silenced by her fingers coming up to touch his lips. "I understand. I love you Jace and I'll wait for you forever if I have to." She replied. The blonde smiled down at her. "Tomorrow is a new moon. You will have me the entire day and all night. Get some sleep baby because you will not be getting any once I return." He smiled bending down to kiss her. A deep blushed warmed her cheeks and flushed down her neck at his words. A reaction he was more than pleased with himself at obtaining. She nodded struggling to form a coherent sentence. He smirked before lifting himself off of her. Jace got up and it took all of Clary's might not to gasp at the sight of his naked body. Jace smirked but didn't have time to tease her. He threw on a pair of shorts and rushed out of the cave blowing her a kiss. Clary frowned slightly and yawned. It had been a long day and she was tired.