Stiles is the first to wake. It takes a minute for him to realize where he is. Then the memory of the night floods his senses, going straight to his cock. Ignoring hi growing problem, Stiles turns to the man laying beside him. The sleeping alpha is gorgeous. There is no stress on his face, no scrawl, just unrelenting peace. Stiles can't help himself, he trails a finger over Derek's bottom lip.
The wolf nuzzles into the touch before his eyes open, those amazing green land on Stiles, then their naked bodies before meeting Stiles' eyes again. Terror sets on the wolf's face. Before Stiles can say anything, Derek is out of the bed and racing to the bathroom. Stiles can only stare at the door stupidly. Didn't Derek want this as much as he did?
With unease in his stomach Stiles begins to get dressed. Only to realize he has no idea where anything other then his pants and boxers. He also has no idea how he is going to get home. As he stands, the bathroom door opens, revealing Derek in jogging pants. The alpha's eyes seem unsure on where to look.
"Did I do something wrong?" Stiles asks.
Derek frowns. "No. Last night was just a mistake."
Stiles heart drops. He was a mistake for the alpha? "A mistake? But I thought you wanted me... just as badly as I wanted you."
"I did, but... The full moon. It doesn't just make wolves anger, it can also cause... other reactions to the body. I... it was just a mistake."
Stiles' blood starts to boil as the heartache turns to anger. "So you are blaming this on the full moon?"
Derek sighs. "That and also the fact that I am your boss. This isn't right. I shouldn't be having meaningless sex with my employees."
Stiles balls his hands into shaking fists. He can't hide the anger at the man he has feelings for. "Meaningless sex? You think I only wanted to fuck you because you are my boss? You think that I don't have feelings for you?"
Derek seems ashamed at his words, but doesn't back down. "I don't have time for this. The full moon made me horny and you were willing. Now please keep it down, the rest of the house is sleeping."
Stiles doesn't give a damn if he wakes up the whole damn city. He was not going to let Derek behave this way after what they shared last night. "I like you Derek. I like you a lot. Does that mean nothing to you?"
"Your feelings don't matter. This will not be happening again."
Stiles heart stops. He really doesn't mean anything to Derek. He allowed last night to convince him that he wasn't wrong for falling for the alpha because he also had feelings for him. Without saying a word Stiles storms out of the room. He finds the rest of his clothes neatly folded in the hall way. He grabs them as he heads for the stairs, not slowing his pace.
"Stiles, wait." Derek calls chasing after him.
Stiles makes it to the stairs before Derek grabs ahold of his arm.
"Don't you fucking touch me!" Stiles yells, yanking his arm from the wolf. He quickly makes his way down the steps.
"Stiles. I'm sorry." Derek tries to grab him again, but Stiles is too quick.
"Don't you dare try to apologize. I am not some whore that you can just fuck on a full moon and think nothing of it the next day. I don't know what made you think so little of me. Was it because you knew I liked you? Did you just see me as an easy target to get what you wanted?"
Derek doesn't meet his eyes or open his mouth. Stiles turns to leave, but is met with Isaac.
"Everything okay?" He eyes them with worry.
"Can you take me home?"
"Yes." Isaac quickly escorts Stiles to his car. Reaving the engine once he peels out of the driveway.
Stiles can't stop the tears from staining his face. His anger leaving him as heartache sets in.
"Hey, Stiles. What's wrong?"
Stiles can only laugh at his own disappear. "I let myself fall for the wrong man. I let myself believe he had feelings for me. Only to find out I was just a piece of ass during the full moon."
Isaac's jaw tightens. "Fuck him."
Stiles laughs again. He was a fool to think anyone would love him after what he did.
"What's so funny?" Isaac asks mystified at Stiles' behavior.
"That I had hoped to find someone to love me. No one is going to love me. I'm a monster."
"You are not a monster."
Stiles laughs hollowly again. The rest of the ride is silent. Stiles doesn't even say goodbye as he climbs out of the car.
Going straight to the bathroom Stiles strips and jumps into the shower. He knows he is covered in Derek's scent. He has to get the smell off of him, even if he can't smell it. Its as if it is all over him. No matter how hard he scrubs, he can't get clean. The thought of the smell being inside him almost has him in a panic. How is he going to get rid of that? He eventually ignores it and goes back to rubbing the invisible scent from his skin.
When his skin is raw he turns of the water. Stepping out of the shower, Stiles stares at himself in the mirror. His skin is speckled with a few hickies and bruises from Derek's finger. The worst of all is the bruise at the junction of his neck. The mark of his shame, showing the world he is the alpha's piece of ass.
Anger boils inside of Stiles' chest. His fist is moving without his knowledge, the mirror shatters. Slowly Stiles comes back to himself. Flexing his hand he is surprised there is no bleeding. Grabbing a towel he wraps it around his hips, leaving the mess in the bathroom behind.
"Stiles, everything okay?" John calls from downstairs.
"Yeah, Dad."
It is easy to slip back into the void. For Stiles to cut himself off from the world. He goes to work and makes it through everyday, though he is avoiding the pack. He is also different, he has a cold edge to himself. He doesn't speak much anymore. He thankfully doesn't run into Derek while at work. The only people that try to crack open his shell is Chris and his father, but even they can't get through the void. Everyday he sinks a little bit deeper into himself.
He is laying in his room staring at the far wall when there is a knock on his door. He looks to see Isaac.
"Hey, Stiles." Stiles only sits up in acknowledgment. "I'm not sure what's been going on with you lately. I know you and Derek had a falling out bu-" Stiles cuts him off with a laugh. Wait why does he find that funny? He must be delirious due to the fact that he hasn't slept in days. Stiles can tell his dead gaze is making Isaac uncomfortable, yet he doesn't care. "Anyway... Lydia is coming back tonight and we are going to go out to celebrate." Stiles blinks has it already been two weeks? "Do you want to come?"
Stiles can't seem to find his voice so he nods. Even through the void he still has a desire to see his queen. He has barely spoken to her since they have been away, not even bothering to tell her he and Derek slept together.
"Great! Now let's get you ready."
Isaac knows all to well if he leaves Stiles might back out. Stiles can feel the void starting to ever so slightly lose its edge as he dresses for the night out. He can feel himself coming back to his body in a way. Stiles presents himself to Isaac when he is fully dressed, silently asking for approval.
"You look good. Let's go." As they leave his room, Isaac glances into the bathroom and sees the shattered remains of the mirror. John had cleaned up the loose glass but hasn't had time to replace it yet. "What happened?"
"I punched it."
Isaac stops dead in his tracks. "Stiles, are you okay? You have been yourself and now your punching mirrors. Should we stay in tonight?"
Stiles turns. He knows Isaac is worried but he can't find it in himself to want to ease that feeling from the wolf. "Thought you wanted me to go see Lydia."
Isaac frowns. "Stiles, this isn't you."
Those words ring in Stiles' head.
"This isn't you, Stiles." Allison whispers fear in her eyes.
A snarl rips through Stiles' lips as he throws Isaac against the wall, arm pressed into the wolf's throat. "Don't you ever say those words to me again." Isaac's eyes flash gold, not in anger, but in fear. Stiles releases him and heads towards the door. "Let's go see Lydia."
Isaac slowly follows Stiles to the car. Heading to the club, they sit in silence.
"They are inside already." Isaac whispers, hurrying to the entrance.
Stiles walks into the pounding beat of the club, eyes scanning for his queen. When he finds her something in him breaks. The darkness inside him starts to seep away. He watches as Isaac says something in Lydia's ear before she makes her way over to him.
"Hey, Stiles." She says with a smile.
"Ldys." He has his arms around her in no time.
"Easy. I'm here. I'm not sure whats going on but I'm here."
"I was just believing in unreal fantasies."
"We will talk about it later. How about tonight you let this stress out with some fun."
Squeezing her one more time Stiles lets go of her. When he looks up, Lydia's pack is surrounding them. "I-I want to apologize for the way I have acted. I haven't been myself lately." The pack gives him an encouraging smile, all but Isaac. Stiles meets his eyes. "I want to apologize to you the most. You didn't deserve earlier. I hope we can still be friends." Isaac nods a small smile playing on his lips.
"So when is she going to get here?" Erica asks looking around.
"Who?" Stiles is confused. Weren't they here because of Lydia and Jordan?
"Derek's cousin is going to be in town for a bit. She arrives tonight."
Stiles swallows down his unease. Another Hale to deal with. Just great.
"Stiles motherfucking Stilinski." Stiles turns to see none other then Malia Tate.
"Malia?" A grin breaks across his face as he is enveloped by the coyote.
"You two know each other?" Liam asks.
Stiles pulls away from Malia to face them, but keeps an arm around her waist. "This is Malia Tate. We knew each other in college."
The pack looks at each other with uncertainty. Malia clears her throat. "Tate was the name I took when hiding from Peter and Derek."
Stiles' mouth goes dry. "You're a Hale?"
The coyote smiles shyly. "Sorry. I never thought you would come to Beacon Hills and figure it out."
Stiles shakes his head in disbelief. He... he dated a Hale.
"So you two were friends in college?" Erica asks.
Stiles and Malia share a glance. "Well yes, but we also dated at one point." Stiles admits.
"What!?" Half the pack exclaims.
Malia laughs. "Hey, Stiles' dick is the whole reason I stayed in college."
Stiles' face turns bright red.
"Well with that how about we start dancing." Scott announces clearly uncomfortable with the conversation.
Malia drags Stiles onto the dance floor. They begin to dance in a way that is familiar to both of their bodies. But Stiles' head isn't really into the music. Instead he is thinking on how Malia is the only one in the group that knows what monster he truly is. Isaac got a glimpse of it today, but Malia was there. She is the one that pulled Stiles off of Allison's body. She knows what darkness dwells in him, yet here she is dancing with him like nothing is wrong.
Malia turns to face him. "You're thinking too much." She whispers before nibbling on his ear.
"Malia." He moans softly. He is unsure on if he should go down this path, but she knows all of his weak spots.
Her nibbles travel down his neck until she bites softly at the crook of his neck. Stiles' grip on her hips tightens.
"Let's get out of here." He says through gritted teeth. He needs a distraction from the pain returning to his chest now that he is coming out of the void. And he knows Malia would do the trick perfectly.
One mischievous look from her and she is dragging him out of the club. Calling a taxi. Stiles crawls into the back seat, Malia right behind him. Malia plasters herself to his side as soon as they start moving. Their lips collide and Stiles can't hold back as his hands roam the once familiar body. Its easy to pretend that nothing has changed. That he and Malia are back in college heading to his apartment.
Quickly paying the driver they head inside. They barely make it to the couch before their shirts are off. Stiles' hands roam up to cup Malia's breast through her bra. He squeezes gently causing the coyote to moan. He leans back to look up into her face and stops.
He doesn't see the face of the woman he once dated, instead he sees his CEO's face. Her eyes, though they are not the same color, still remind him of Derek. Of the man that shattered his already broken heart.
"What's wrong?" Malia sits back, a frown on her lips.
"I can't do this?" Stiles' hands drop to her hips.
Malia thinks for a second. "Who is it?"
A sad laugh leaves his lips. Malia truly does know him. "Someone who doesn't even want me."
Malia huffs. "Well who ever it is is a fucking idiot."
Stiles laughs. Would she still say that if she knew it was her cousin?
Malia grins. "How about me and you have a cuddle night and watch some Netflix."
"That sound like a wonderful idea."
Malia leans down and kisses Stiles. Nothing of passion or want, but the kiss held understanding of just being them. A roar has them breaking apart.
"What the fuck?" Derek shouts.
Just then Stiles realizes where they are, Derek's mansion. Malia jumps off of him, but doesn't bother to put her shirt on unlike Stiles who quickly slips into his.
"What's your problem?" Malia asks crossing her arms.
"If you are going to have sex with someone you met at the club, do it in your room not my couch." Derek growls, eyes red.
What has him so pissed? Its not like he is jealous, he truly didn't want Stiles but for one night.
"I didn't meet Stiles at the club, we dated in college."
"That's why you stayed in college? Just so you can fuck some boy?"
Some boy. Stiles teeth grit as he stands. He isn't going to sit here and listen to Derek degrade him.
"Stiles don't leave, Derek is just being an ass." Malia takes a step towards Stiles, arm wrapping around his.
Derek snarls at the contact between them. "Do you just have a thing for Hale's? Are you going to fuck my sister next?" Derek spits out.
Stiles glares at him. "I didn't know Malia was your cousin until tonight." Stiles isn't sure why he feels the need to verify that.
"Yet that didn't stop you from coming home with her. That's sick."
"At least we are a hundred percent honest with one another. Unlike some asshole alpha I know."
"You really thought you could sleep with me and my cousin and think nothing of it? What kind of monster are you?"
At the word monster Stiles' whole world turns upside-down. Snapping his mouth shut he pushes past the disgusted alpha. He shuts the front door just as Malia begins to yell.
"So you're the fucking idiot!"
Stiles wants to call a cab, but then his eyes fall on the camaro. He'll show Derek what kind of monster he is.
A/N: Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed the chapter. I am working on writing the next few chapters. Let me know your thoughts. Until Next Time!
