A/N: Hey! It's another chapter from me! So, now that I've given cash and free stuff, it's time to hand out...pennies! Everyone needs pennies! 100 free when you review!

Aragorn = Boromir

Boromir = Aragorn

Frodo = Gimli

Gandalf = Pippin

Gimli = Sam

Legolas = Frodo

Merry = Merry

Pippin = Legolas

Sam = Gandalf
Chapter Nine: Follow Your Nose!

"I'm hungry, Merry!" Gandalf whines.

"Shut up! I'm trying to figure out which way to go!" Sam says.

"Sorry."

"Ok, now that we're all here, I think we should have a story telling time!" Legolas says.

"Fine. Aragorn, you start."

"FINE!" Boromir yells.

"There was once a King who found a Ring, and this Ring was greatly evil.
He searched all day for a year and a day and he suddenly found a...weevil.
He killed the weevil and loved the Ring, but this man was a foolish old King, and soon he gave into temptation.
And his weakness at this came down like a fist and destroyed the whole nation." Boromir says.

"Was that...verse?"

"Probably. It just popped into my head."

"That was good!"

"Boromir, go next."

"There was an Elf and there was a man and they lived in this world of ours.
And everyday they talked and played and whiled away the hours.
Until one day when the man died and the Elf was cast into grief.
And the Elf died, too, for she had sworn that a mortal life her's would be." Aragorn says.

"Wow. Touching."

"Ok. Gimli, go!"

"There was once a fork and there once was a spoon
And they frolicked and played on the side of the moon.
Then there was a cow who kicked a pale
And that is the telling of this tale." Frodo says.

"That was short and stupid."

"Of, Gandalf, go next."

"There once was a beer in a merry old town
Where people would come from miles around.
And the people would drink and the people would laugh
And they all stank cause no one ever had a bath.
And this bar was quaint and it really was swell
Because its water was that of a local well.
And this bar as you know is not a phony
Rather it a tavern called the Prancing Pony." Sam says.

"Whatever."

"Legolas!"

"Ai! laurie lantar lassi surinen, yeni unotime ve ramar aldaron! Yeni ve linte yuldat avanier mi oromardi lisse-miruvoreva Andune pella, Vardo tellumar nu luni yassen tintilar i eleni omaryo airetari-lirinen. Si man i yulma nin enquantuva? An si Tintalle Vardo Oiolosseo ve fanyar maryat Elentari ortane ar ilye tier undulave lumbule ar sindanoriello caita mornie i falmalinnar imbe met, ar hisie untupa Calaciryo miri oiale. Si vanwa na, Romello vanwa, Valimar! Namarie! Nai hiruvalye Valimar! Nai elye hiruva! Namarie!" Pip says in flawless Elvish.

"What did that mean?"

"Ah! Like gold fall the leaves in the wind, long years numberless as the wings of trees! The long years have passed like swift draughts of the sweet mead in lofty halls beyond the West, beneath the blue vaults of Varda wherein the stars tremble, in the voice of her song, holy and queenly. Who now shall refill the cup for me? For now the Kindler, Varda, the Queen of the Stars, from Mount Everwhite has uplifted her hands like clouds, and all paths are drowned deep in shadow; and out of a gray country darkness lies on the foaming waves between us, and mist covers the jewels or Calacirya for ever. Now lost, lost to those of the East is Valimar! Farewell! Maybe thou shall find Valimar! Maybe even thou shalt find it! Farewell!" Pip translates. After all, he is Legolas and is SMART!

"That was...touching." Boromir sniffs.

"Ok. I think Merry should go before I cry."

"I loved that." Legolas says.

"Merry, just go." Aragorn says, his voice cracking.

"Oh, you can search far and wide
You can drink the whole town dry
But you'll never find a beer so brown
As the one we drink in our hometown!
You can keep your fancy ales
You can drink 'em by the flagon
But the only brew for the brace and true
Comes from the Green Dragon!" Merry says.

"Ok. That was just....ok. Let's have Pippin go."

"I really hate you all and advise you to jump off a cliff." Gandalf says.

"Wow, Pip, you're an idiot." Sam says.

"Ok. Let's all just have Frodo go or whatever."

"Maybe we should just stop!"

"Good idea."

They continue to sit there in boredom.

"Hey, uh, shouldn't we use the staff as light?"

"Didn't we?"

"Why is it dark, then?"

"Ok, hold on..."

Sam mutters something and....the light doesn't go on.

"DAMN YOU, YOU FUCKING STAFF!!!" Sam screams.

He twumps the staff against the ground...and the light goes on.

"Uh...Sam? Are you sure you can say those things in a PG-13 fic?"

"Screw it if I can't, Aragorn, and I'm not Sam! I'm GANDALF!!!" Sam yells at Boromir, who is Aragorn.

"Well, I'm sor-ry, Mr.!!" Boromir yells.

"SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!" and with that, everyone shuts up.

"Now, I think I've found the way out."

And they all head down the tunnel on the right. I don't care if that's the way they went or not, they just go that way. Whose fic is it? MINE! Who makes the rules? Well, actually Tolkien did but it's my fic so nyah!

"How did you figure that one?" Merry asks.

"Well, it smells like ale down here, and I know we all love ale, so I think it's this way."

"So follow your nose?"

"I guess. If you want to put it that way." Sam shrugs.

So after hiking down the tunnel, they arrive in some big hallway.

"Moria...." Everyone breathes in awe.

And then, Frodo notices something...
A/N: Hope you liked it. I had fun writing Sam's little anger part, and I don't know why everyone was talking in rhyme. It just is funnier...I guess. So, whatever, review and get free stuff!