Hello everyone! I'm back with another chapter! Hope everyone's been enjoying the winter (if you're in the northern hemisphere) and their summer (in the southern hemisphere). Also, hope everyone's been enjoying their holidays that come this time of year. Thought I'd update as a Yule/Christmas/Hanukkah/Diwali (and whatever other holidays that are celebrated) present. Anyway, enough of my chitchat! Enjoy!
-Chapter Nine-
Mitsuki stood outside on her balcony as she looked out at the night sky. There were a few clouds but she could see Hei's star clearly in the sky. It had almost been a month now since Hei had gone to the PANDORA facility. Each night, she would look up at the sky towards his star. It continued to shine softly each time she looked so she knew that he was still alive. It hadn't gotten any brighter so she knew that he hadn't used his powers either. That was probably a good thing though given if he was trying to remain inconspicuous, using his powers there would have been a bad idea.
Suddenly, she noticed his star suddenly start to shimmer and shine brighter than before, signalling he was using his powers. She gave a blink as she looked from it to the direction of the facility at the Gate's wall before looking up at his star again. It still continued to shine brightly. But there was another star she noticed nearby his that was also shimmering brighter than usual causing her to furrow her brow. If there was another Contractor enabling their power, could Hei be fighting against them? Even while inside PANDORA? She really hoped that he would be okay given she knew he wouldn't have been able to bring his gear with him and that he couldn't let himself get caught.
'Oh Hei,' she thought to herself as she kept watching his star. She didn't want to see it fall at all tonight. The long minutes seemed to drag on as she kept her eyes on his and the other star before suddenly there was a small rumbling tremor that seemed to come from the direction of the Gate. The next instant there was a blue light from beyond the wall glowing brightly as the tremors seemed to get stronger a little bit more. The intense light shone for only what seemed barely a few moments before diminishing once more.
Looking immediately up towards the sky again, Mitsuki looked for his star. She prayed it wouldn't be gone. There was a white shimmer that suddenly streaked across the sky as a star fell and she felt her breath hitch in her throat as her eyes went straight for the spot she knew his star sat. It was still glowing brightly but beginning to fade slowly back to its normal shimmer. The other star that had been shining brightly nearby, however, was missing. It had obviously been the one that had fallen just now after that bright light had started to fade again.
Giving a small sigh of relief that at least it seemed he was still alive, Mitsuki bit her lower lip hoping that Hei would make it out safely from there. She couldn't imagine what would happen if he got caught by PANDORA. Most likely he'd either become locked up somewhere or worse: dead.
Watching his star for several more minutes, she finally turned to head back inside and try to get ready for bed. She was restless though. Whatever that bright blue light had been, it had stirred something within her. She wanted to go run and see what it was but she knew that was impossible. The only thing she knew was that it had been similar to the blue light she'd read about with the disappearance of Heaven's Gate and the train wreck. It was no doubt synchrotron radiation. But it had been at such a higher scale than normal synchrotron radiation that a normal Contractor produced.
Shaking her head slightly, she just hoped that Hei would be out of there soon and she could see him. Then maybe she could ask him what had happened tonight.
Mitsuki looked up from reading her book the next evening to the sound of a soft knock at her door. She furrowed her brow as she marked her page and set it on the coffee table before getting up and went to answer it. When she looked out the little peek hole, she gave a blink at the familiar dark haired Contractor standing on the other side in his usual white shirt and jeans.
"W-what are you doing here?" she asked Hei as she opened her door. He silently held up the moonstone piece she'd given him. "Oh um...go ahead and come in. I'll uh go grab your jacket."
Turning after letting him in and shutting the door, she went down to grab his jacket from her room. She gave a small bite of her lower lip as she went over to her bed, grabbing the jacket off her pillow and the radio off her nightstand. She had been laying with it at night, letting his fading scent that was still all over it calm her down and let her sleep. Had he seen that, she might die of embarrassment.
Going back down to the living room, she looked over to see him standing there at her bookshelf looking at the couple of pictures she had there. One was the last picture she and her brother had taken just before their grandparents had passed away and the other was a picture that had been taken a few weeks before the train accident. He turned his head slightly towards her as she started to come over, pausing just long enough to set his jacket and radio on the coffee table, before going to his side. She noticed the tired look in his eyes and how pale he seemed compared to normal.
"Are you alright?" she asked concerned as he looked towards her then back towards the pictures again.
"I'm fine," Hei replied though it was a lie. He was still worn out from the whole ordeal with Nick back in PANDORA and dealing with the meteor shard. Having seen Bai not only on the monitor screen that one day that had set him off, but also in the Gate, and what had happened inside it had completely drained him emotionally. The nightmares that had plagued him when he slept, including the one that had gotten him to wake up in a cold sweat that morning were haunting him more than usual. He needed to distract himself before he lost it again. "Your hair is different than in these. Did you change it to remember your brother?"
"No." She gave a shake of her head slightly as he glanced towards her. She reached up, taking a little of the white part of her hair in her fingers, and looked down at it. "When I woke up in the hospital after the wreck, my hair was like this. Whatever my brother had done with using his power obviously had an effect on me just enough to cause this to happen. Same with my eyes changing colour." She gave a small pause looking up at the tired dark blue gaze looking back at her. "But I guess I don't mind since it was obviously the last little gift he gave to me before he disappeared along with the little snowflake shaped scar."
Hei gave a blink before looking back towards the pictures again. Obviously Yue had proved that he had still cared for her despite being a Contractor, even if his obeisance was to feel human emotions. If only Bai had had that obeisance instead. Would she have not become the monster he'd watch her turn into? The last vivid memory he had of her was her standing in the water, Contractors dead all around her, a little blood on her face, and that emotionless look in her eyes just before she had started to collapse as her obeisance set in. He had rushed forward, catching her before she landed in the water and she had looked up, telling him that she had made the stars fall all night before falling asleep.
Feeling warmth on his arm, he turned his head to see her hand there before looking into her gaze that had a concerned look on it. The image of Bai flicked across his memory again from when they had been kids before the Gates appeared then to the one of her standing there; an emotionless killing monster. He was about to pull away but before he could react, Mitsuki reached up and pulled him into her embrace. His reaction was to stiffen since the last time he'd gotten an actual hug from someone that actually cared had been the older woman that had taught him how to cook before the Syndicate had found him and his sister. The sudden overwhelming swirl of emotions that seemed to come bubbling up from within that he'd been suppressing all this time took over him. He turned his face into her shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her, letting the tears he'd held back all these years come flooding out, unable to be held back any longer.
Feeling the silent tears as she held him and the soft, shaky breaths he took, Mitsuki stood there letting him cry. She didn't know what had happened in the Gate, but obviously it had affected him enough to make him this way. And she wasn't about to let him be left alone with no one to comfort him. He cried silently for several more minutes before his shaky breaths relaxed to become more evened out again. When he finally pulled away, she looked to his face that was a complete mess; his eyes a little red and puffy while his cheeks were damp with his tears.
"It's okay to cry," she spoke softly as she looked up at him. He pulled his lips into a thin line before looking away with a slightly embarrassed look on his face. Obviously he had never let anyone see him like this.
Thinking of something, she reached to his hand and turned, pulling him over towards the couch. She sat down with him giving a blink of confusion as she pulled him down to sit beside her. He could only furrow his brow slightly.
"Lay your head down," she spoke up as she patted her lap. He furrowed his brow more and was about to ask why but she just raised an eyebrow at him so he slowly laid his head down on her lap as he stretched out on the rest of the couch looking up at her. "Alright. Now turn to face me a little okay?"
Furrowing his brows slightly, Hei turned to face her. He had no idea what she was planning but whatever it was, he wasn't in the mood to argue with her.
"Close your eyes."
Closing his eyes after looking up at her still confused, she just giving him another raised eyebrow back, he wondered what she was going to do next. Normally he wouldn't have allowed anyone this close to him and tell what to do but he was drained from all his crying. The next instant, he felt her left hand slide up the back of his neck and her fingers thread through his hair a little before they started to gently massage the back of his head and neck. Her right hand rested by the top of his head and gently had her fingers threaded through his hair before also gently massaging a little. But her main focus seemed to be at the back of his head along the base of his skull. The sudden soft sound of her humming an old Chinese lullaby his mother used to hum to him as well caught his attention.
As she continued massaging his head while humming, he felt himself slowly begin to relax and the tension in his body seemed to melt away. When she'd finished humming the lullaby, she switched to another one and continued on. Hei found himself at her mercy as he lay there listening to her hum softly as she continued to massage his head gently. For once in such a long time, he was able to completely relax. It was like there was nothing else in the world besides him and her there together. No Gates. No fake stars. No Contractors or Dolls. For the first time in practically five years, he felt human again. No. Even longer than that. Since having been brought in by the Syndicate and trained to be a cold-blooded assassin. Ever since his first professional kill he had felt just like the Contractors around him. But now...
Hearing her humming cease and her fingers go still, Hei slowly opened his eyes and turned his head slightly to look up at her two-toned eyes looking back down at him. She had a softened look on her face.
"Feeling better?"
Giving a small blink before closing his eyes again, he nodded a little. Shifting enough on her lap still, he brought his right arm up that was free, as he was laying on his left side, and wrapped it around her waist, curling a little closer to her. He didn't want to get up just yet, which was something he rarely felt in this situation. She sat there with her fingers threaded in his hair holding him as he laid there for a little bit longer.
Finally, giving a small sigh, Hei released her waist and pulled back before slowly sitting up and shifting himself so his feet were on the floor in front of the couch again. He glanced over to the clock on the cable box and gave a blink. He'd been laying there with her for over an hour.
"Still doing better?" she asked as he turned to look at her beside him. He just gave a silent nod and she gave a soft smile in return. "That's good."
Seeing the tired look in his eyes and still a bit paler than normal with the dried tear trails down his cheeks, she noticed he did seem a little more relaxed at least. He gave another slightly embarrassed look as he turned his head away along with his gaze. She reached her hand up, placing it on his cheek, before turning it enough so his gaze came back to meet with hers.
"Like I said, it's not a bad thing to cry once in a while," she spoke softly to him. He went to open his mouth but she moved her hand from his cheek, placing a finger to his lips to silence him. "I know you're going to say Contractors aren't supposed to feel this way and have human emotions. But obviously you're not a typical Contractor." She gave a small pause remembering she hadn't asked about his obeisance yet. Though from what she had noticed the day she had saved him, he didn't seem to have any particular action he had to do to pay for his use of power. If he had an automatic one like Yue had with feeling human emotions, of course he wouldn't have a choice in the matter of paying it back. "I don't know what your obeisance is but-" She moved her finger from his lips before placing her palm down against his heart; feeling its steady beating from within his chest. "-if it's having a human heart, then you can't exactly ignore the feelings inside you." She gave another pause. "You know, why don't you go ahead and go get a bath and relax a little more okay? I'll make something to eat."
Giving a slight nod, Hei felt her pull her hand away from his chest before she stood up. For some reason the feeling of her warm hand there had been nice and kind of comforting. She held out her hand to him and he took it before she pulled him up to his feet. He headed down towards the bathroom while she headed to the kitchen.
Sinking down into the hot water after washing up, Hei tilted his head back and looked up at the ceiling that had a cloud of steam already forming. He had to admit, it had been a little while since he'd actually gotten a bath. If he wanted one, he had to go to a nearby bathhouse, otherwise he mostly just washed up at the kitchen sink. And since he didn't like being so vulnerable at a bath house, he rarely went unless he knew it was pretty much empty.
Sighing softly, the feeling of the warm water did help to melt away a little more of the tension and stress. But his thoughts went to Mitsuki. Was it possible that what she said about his obeisance was really having a human heart? As far as he knew, he had no obeisance and yet he did still feel human emotions. He'd suppressed his emotions when he was still human, becoming the ruthless Black Reaper everyone had feared. But as soon as he became a Contractor and his sister disappeared, he found it hard at times to keep those emotions in check.
"See you're emotional. Like some Moratorium. But that can't be right because you're stable and in control. You don't seem to pay a price for your powers either. Are you really a Contractor at all?"
Carmine's words echoed in his head from when he had interrogated her in order to try to find out about where his sister was at. He raised his hand from the water and looked at it in front of him. So what was the truth? Was what Carmine's words about him even being a Contractor at all the real thing or was Mitsuki's about possibly having a human heart for his obeisance instead? It would be the only rational way to explain why he had the emotions he felt and still be a Contractor. How else would he have powers if he wasn't one? But if it was his obeisance, did that mean it never seemed to stop being paid and that was why he was able to use his powers practically without a limit like other Contractors had?
Sighing as he dropped his hand back in the water and closed his eyes, Hei didn't know what to think anymore. He was just too emotionally drained right now to really delve into it further. It had been so long since he'd cried like that and he'd forgotten how exhausting it really was.
Suddenly there was a soft knock on the door and he opened his eyes as he looked towards it. "Um Hei? The food is about done," came Mitsuki's voice from the other side softly.
"Okay," he replied and heard her softly walk away. He gave a small sigh before dunking his head down under the water for a moment then let the water start to run down the drain before getting out to get dried off.
Noticing a piece of paper having been slid underneath the door a little, he went over and picked it up. There was a small arrow pointing back out towards the door with his name written underneath it. He gave a small furrow of his brow before opening the door a crack. There on the floor in front of the bathroom door in a small laundry basket was some clean folded clothes. He gave a blink before grabbing the basket, brought it into the bathroom, and shut the door again. They were the clothes from before that she had let him borrow of her brother's he'd returned before going on the mission to the PANDORA facility.
Finishing up drying off, fluffing his hair, and getting changed into the clothes she had left him, he put his other clothes in the basket. But since he wasn't sure where to leave it, he left it sitting in the bathroom after hanging up his towel. Then he headed back down the hall towards the kitchen; the smell of cooked food hanging in the air. He paused in the doorway of the kitchen to see her placing a plate of food on the table with a few others and some water. She looked up giving a soft smile.
"Go ahead and sit," she spoke up as she went over to sit in a chair. He nodded before coming over and sat down across from her before starting to eat. They ate quietly before he helped her with dishes despite her initially saying it was okay and that she could do it. But for what she'd done for him, it was the least he could do.
As he went to grab his jacket and the radio he slipped back into his jacket pocket after returning the moonstone piece to her and get ready to head out, his thoughts went to the empty apartment waiting for him. He still felt drained.
"Um..." he started to say as he turned towards her.
"Is something wrong?" She noticed the shift in his stance as he dropped his gaze down towards the floor. He had moved his right arm across his torso and was holding his left arm in a way that showed he was nervous or unsure of something. It was the sign of being utterly vulnerable. And given how guarded he probably was around everyone else, this was something major for him.
"Do you...think I could...stay with you tonight?" His voice was quiet and his gaze remained downcast on the floor. She gave a blink, feeling her cheeks get a tad warm at his words but knew that he wasn't meaning it in that sort of way.
"Sure. I don't mind," she replied as he slowly brought his gaze up towards hers and she gave him a soft smile. She knew that he obviously must be emotionally drained since crying did always seem to drain her quite a bit. And being left alone was always hard when one was in this sort of emotional state as is. "Um just a minute then."
Watching her as she disappeared down the hallway, Hei couldn't help but still feel embarrassed at asking for such a request. It wasn't like him to be this way. But thinking about being alone in his empty apartment didn't seem like something he could handle right now. It was bad enough that he had to keep himself composed enough at PANDORA after first seeing Bai in that monitor. Especially since he knew there were Syndicate members in there other than Mina that he had talked with several times during his mission. He remembered her approaching him and telling him not to bottle up his feelings after that incident with seeing Bai on the screen, but he'd simply brushed her off. And when she'd confessed having feelings for him, it had left him slightly agitated that he'd just walked away, leaving her there in the library. He hadn't understood why she would even remotely feel that way towards him when she knew who he was. But then again, it was the same way with Mitsuki helping him out despite knowing who he was as well. There wasn't really a difference between the two of them so why was it that he seemed more open to his feelings around Mitsuki?
The Syndicate. That had to be it. Mina was part of it so getting close to her wasn't something that was possible. Not without them realising it and the repercussions that would follow for both of them. Mitsuki was just...Mitsuki. No ties to anything but herself. Plus, her brother had been a Contractor so she understood what it was like having a sibling changed by the Gates, even if she didn't know about it until after her brother's disappearance. Maybe that was why he was able to open up to her a little more because she understood on a level that no one else did. And she didn't laugh at him or make him feel anything less than human like others tended to view Contractors as. He could tell she really did care every time she looked at him and by every action she did.
"Here." Hei gave a blink as he was pulled out of his thoughts when Mitsuki returned and held up a pair of black lounge pants. "You can wear these for sleeping in."
"Um, thanks," he replied taking them. He had to admit, he was lucky that she did have a few leftover clothes of her brother's for him to borrow.
Going down to the bathroom to change into them, he came back down to find her having brought a pillow and blanket down to the couch. He gave a small nod to her before he went over and laid down. She turned the lights off and was heading back to the hallway, when he spoke up again looking at her.
"Um...thanks, Yuuki." It still felt a little weird saying her name since he had mostly kept from using it to keep from getting attached to it, despite the deal they had made.
"You're welcome," she replied with a soft smile at him. "Get some rest." She started to turn to go down the hallway again but paused and glanced back at him. "And Mitsuki's fine. Goodnight Hei."
Blinking as she disappeared down the hall, Hei processed what she'd said. She was letting him use her given name. Then again, with everything that had happened between the two of them just tonight alone, she obviously felt he had earned the right to use it.
"Mitsuki," he whispered softly to himself. He saw her click the light off down the hall to her room before closing his eyes and trying to get some sleep.
Laying there in bed after shutting her lights off, Mitsuki couldn't seem to get to sleep. Her thoughts were on Hei down the hall. She felt bad that he had to sleep on the couch but there really wasn't anywhere else for him to sleep. It wasn't exactly like he had a fever and injured like that one time where it was kind of needed to lay by his side to get him stabilised.
Plus, what had happened earlier with the emotional breakdown like that must have been a long time coming for him. The way he had clung to her so desperately while he had cried made it seem like he'd been holding back all his emotions for so long. She still wasn't sure if that really was his obeisance or not, but since he hadn't said anything after she'd mentioned it, she wasn't going to push the issue. After all, her brother had mentioned that usually stating one's obeisance wasn't something that many liked to do since it was considered a vulnerability. If another knew about it, they could easily use that as leverage to get a Contractor to do what they wanted and make sure they weren't able to pay their price. Especially if it had been an action type of payment. And because no one knew what would happen if a Contractor didn't make their payment, Contractors made sure not to miss one. It was a rational train of thought for survival.
Suddenly feeling a presence behind her as she had her back turned towards the door, Mitsuki rolled enough to look over her shoulder to barely see Hei's darkened figure in the doorway looking in. "Hei? Is something wrong?" she asked as she sat up a little. She could just barely make out him looking away.
"Um...do you think...I could..." he started to ask quietly. She could hear the uncertainty and slight embarrassment in his voice.
"Come here," she said softly as she turned to face him and scooted back towards the middle of the bed. He looked at her and took a hesitant step into her room before, silently like a ghost, came over to her bedside.
Sliding under the blankets and laying down beside her, Mitsuki laid back down facing him. She reached out and pulled him to her a little before he hesitantly wrapped an arm around her waist in return. He curled up beside her, tucking his head underneath her chin, much like a frightened child would do that needed comforting. She didn't blame him though. He obviously needed it tonight and she wasn't about to let him face his problems alone. Knowing that he was letting her see his vulnerability like this meant a lot in his trust of her despite not having known each other for very long.
"Get some sleep okay?" she whispered softly to him as she continued to hold him close; the feeling of his heart beating in his chest felt against the warm, smooth skin of his back where her arm rested. He didn't say anything in reply other than to give a small squeeze of him curling closer to her a bit more.
Laying there and listening to his soft breathing that she could feel against her chest a little and the soft, even throb of his heartbeat, Mitsuki gave a soft smile to herself knowing he'd fallen asleep. She wondered how long it had been since someone had held him like this and let him know everything was going to be alright. From what she remembered with him talking about his sister the time he'd helped her with her ankle, it had obviously been since losing his parents after the Gates appeared. She wouldn't know what to do if she had gone that long bottling everything up inside herself. The only certain thing was that she would probably have cracked a long time ago. Whatever had happened inside PANDORA and the Gate definitely had affected him quite a bit. After all, she heard the rumours about seeing ghosts and what one had lost inside there. Whatever he had seen and whatever that bright blue light had been...well, maybe she'd ask him later about it. But for now, it would most likely be a touchy subject and she didn't want him to get any more upset than he was.
Closing her eyes as she put the thoughts out of her mind, she gave a soft sigh letting herself relax as she breathed in his cedar and coriander scent and fall into unconsciousness of sleep.
Well that's the chapter. Poor Hei having a rough time dealing with everything that happened in the Gate. But I don't blame him. And just like Mitsuki says to herself about how long it must have been since he'd been held in a comforting way, told everything was going to be okay, and let his emotions show, it was obviously a long time coming. At least, Hei has her support. *grins* And he certainly won't forget about it.
Anyway, hope everyone likes how it's going so far. Again, any and all reviews and comments are welcome! Thanks again! *passes out gyoza and pocky*
