Starting to draw to a close. Next week I'll put up the last 2 chapters together and we'll be done!
Enjoy!
It was a quiet day after the night's excitement. Batman didn't return to the manor until just before dawn, and he immediately headed out again for the day as Bruce Wayne without exchanging more than the most cursory words with anyone but Alfred. Dick, for his part, slept until almost noon. When he woke, however, he felt much better despite the ugly bruising covering his shoulder. But that was par for the course – Beast Boy had an advanced ability to heal, Starfire had her alien strength, Cyborg's injuries tended to be mechanical, and Raven could heal herself through meditation. Only Robin ever wandered around for such a long time with the evidence of their fights littered all over his person. And Raven would have healed him if he asked, but that was one of the rules drilled into him from his time with Batman: you take care of your injuries in silence or you're not fit to fight.
Dick found that Alfred had left him a tray, which he gratefully emptied and returned to the kitchens, discovering on his way that things were very quiet. A check of his communicator gave Starfire's location as the game room, with Cyborg and Beast Boy off in another area and Raven in her own room. With no real desire to wander the mostly empty manor and feeling familiar silence descending upon him, he made his way down to the Batcave to see if he could track Slade or the Metabreed. Because when Dick Grayson didn't want to talk, he worked. The rhythm of the task soothed him and he let himself fall into a daze of focused investigation instead of introspection.
It was only when a barrage of little pebbles broke his concentration that Dick realized he'd been working non-stop for hours, almost to sundown. And apparently Cyborg had been trying to get his attention via ballistic gravel.
"Yo, Robin! Can I talk to you for a minute?" Cyborg called from his spot underneath the right wing of the T-Ship. Robin, having just completed a scan of Gotham from the nearby console, got to his feet and met Cyborg in the middle. The Batcave was silent and empty, except for a few bats clinging to the ceiling above.
"Sure. What's on your mind?"
"I… Look, man, I don't like to pry. But I just gotta get something clear before I go ahead and make a really stupid mistake." The cybernetic hero took a deep breath. "How do you feel about Raven?"
"Raven?" Dick asked, incredulously.
"Yeah, man. I mean, sometimes it seems like there's something going on between you two, but lately you've...you know, had a thing for Starfire. And you and I both know how Beast Boy feels about our girl. So I wanted to make sure I know where everybody stood before I told him what to do."
"Told him what to do?" Dick echoed again. Cyborg sighed to himself. Robin was definitely behind on the news. With the Titan's leader thinking only of Slade, it was no wonder he had no clue what was happening right under his nose!
"Long story, Rob. The little grass stain asked for my advice on how to approach Raven, since he's sweet on her, and I don't want to tell him the wrong thing. I hate being in the middle, but I don't want him making a dumb mistake and getting hurt, either. He seems to think there's something between you two. So will you answer my question already?" he prodded.
"Um…sure. Raven's a good friend. She's…I don't know, she's smart and she's brave, and she's given me a lot of faith in, you know, what we do here. I mean, if someone like her can be a hero, coming from a past like that, then there's hope for all of us, no matter what we face or what we have to overcome. And she's also…" He trailed off uncomfortably, ducking his head and looking at his feet.
"Yeah, it's that part I'm worried about," Cyborg said dryly, after an awkward moment's pause.
"No, it's not what you think!" Robin protested. He backed up to sit on a protruding ledge of the cave and motioned for Cyborg to sit as well. He'd never told his team about the link between their minds, but apparently it was time. Robin hadn't asked Raven why they kept the bond a secret, or even if it was deliberate; he hoped Raven wouldn't be too bothered by this. "Listen, Raven's kinda…part of me. Do you remember when I was hallucinating and seeing Slade everywhere in the dark?"
"You almost killed yourself. Of course I remember." Cyborg settled himself next to the Titan's leader, watching him carefully.
"Then you remember that Raven threw herself into my mind, to see what I was seeing." At Cyborg's nod, he continued, "She sort of became me for a moment. Our minds were one, just for that instant. When it was over, and ever since then, there's been a sort of connection between us. Her mind, her feelings, they're sort of linked with mine. I can sense her somehow. It's…I don't know how to explain it."
"It's how you saved her from Ebon," Cyborg said quietly, things falling into place. "I was wondering about that. I mean, I know you two are sort of close, but I couldn't figure out how she latched onto your brain, I mean, yours in particular."
"That's how," Dick nodded. "I think the bond is stronger on her end. I think she can reach farther into my mind than I can into hers, which is really what saved her from Ebon. But I get glimpses, especially when she's feeling something strongly. So when everything started to happen, I mean with Trigon rising and everything, I could feel it. I knew there were things she was keeping from us. I could sense her fear. She was more afraid than I've ever known her to be before or since. And I had to protect her."
He took a breath. "So I guess I do have something special with her now. That experience changed us both. But I don't understand what the problem is with that, though. Why should Beast Boy be worried if we're closer now?"
"That's what I'm talking about, though!" Cyborg flailed his arms in confused frustration. "Until the whole Trigon thing, you really didn't take any extra notice of Raven, even if you did have this bond…thing…whatever it is. And then suddenly you're at her side all the time, and she's all attached to you. Even there at the end, it was you she protected, you she ran to, and you she tried to wake when she was afraid. Not to mention it was you she credited with believing in her, and she was happier then than I've ever seen her."
"I know," Dick said, surprised. "Is that what's worrying you?"
"Man, look at it from my perspective!" Cyborg said, exasperated. "For years, nothing. Then, bam, she trusts you, talks to you, smiles at you, even hugs you! If you hadn't kissed Starfire in front of me in Tokyo, even I would have sworn you two had a thing for each other!"
"No, you're wrong. There is something very important between us, it's true, and she did take special notice of me when Trigon came. But the thing you've got to understand is that the reason it was always me she ran to, and not you or Beast Boy or Starfire, was because I was the only one she could be sure of."
"Raven trusts us! She could be sure of us!" Cyborg pointed out defensively.
Robin held up a hand, motioning him silent.
"Think about it this way, Cy. Your whole life, somebody tells you that you are to be feared and hated. You are cursed from the moment you open your eyes to be alone, to be despised, to be the bringer of ultimate evil. And then it happens. How would you feel? Raven was raised to believe that once Trigon rose, no one would ever care about her again. I know Raven trusts us all, but it's a fragile trust built on years of pain and fear and loneliness. So when she was at her most isolated, when she most needed a friend that would go against what she had been told her whole life, the only person she could be absolutely sure wouldn't reject her was…"
"The one whose mind she could read," Cyborg finished, nodding.
"Exactly. She knows my thoughts and my heart as well as I do, better sometimes. She could see there in my mind as clear as day that I would help her and believe in her, not reject her. She could be sure of me in a way she couldn't with you all, not without actually invading your minds as well. That's why it had to be me that saved her, because in all that fear, she could only trust me. Because she could know for a fact that she was safe with me even if she still feared everyone else."
"I get it. When little Raven protected you before she came back to herself at the end of the fight, she was really trying to protect the idea that someone believed in her, along with the one person she felt safe with. It wasn't you the person she was trying to save, not exactly, but the hope itself that somebody cared about her, cared enough to save her. You were the embodiment of that hope she had for all of us."
"And that's what gave her the strength to fight back, with all of our help, not just mine. That's precisely it!" Dick was relieved. He still felt guilty about letting Raven's feelings and fears right out into the open without her express permission, but it was probably better that than let his friends go thinking the wrong thing about their relationship.
"Okay man, I can buy that. So you and Raven are…?" and he trailed off, winking.
"Just friends. Or, maybe more like brother and sister. But it's all platonic, believe me."
"You have no idea how glad I am to hear that, dude!" came a familiar voice. A figure moved out of the shadows, where Robin could have sworn there were only shadows and a few bugs before.
"Beast Boy? You were listening this whole time?" Robin demanded. Cyborg laughed.
"Sorry, man. I didn't want to fool you! But BB here wouldn't leave me alone unless I asked you while he could listen in."
"I wanted to make sure you were telling me the truth," Beast Boy protested. He looked sheepishly at the Titan's leader. "I was afraid that he wouldn't tell me the whole story, if he wanted to spare me, you know. If there wasn't any chance for me…I mean…"
"We understand, Beast Boy," Robin patted him on the shoulder kindly. "I think we've all been there. But rest assured, there's nothing between me and Raven except a couple of brainwaves."
"Do you…?" his voice squeaked as he fidgeted nervously. "Do you think maybe Raven feels something about me? I mean, you can read her mind, right?"
"Not quite," Robin answered gently. "I just get flashes of her feelings or thoughts, unless I'm trying really hard, and even then, it's not easy to sort everything out." The green changeling visibly deflated with a sigh. Robin smiled and continued, "But I do know that I think you'd be very good for her, even if she's not ready to see it yet."
"Yeah, you know, you might be the only person I know who could put a little light into Raven's dark world, little tofu-eating runt that you are," Cyborg joked, standing up and bopping Beast Boy on the head.
"Hey!" he squawked. Then, his face going slack with surprise, "You-you mean it? You think I could help her?" The bionic Titan nodded and Beast Boy's voice turned wistful. "I'd like that. I like seeing her happy. I mean, really happy. And if I could help her be happy, then even if she didn't want me for other things, at least she would be okay, and that's all I really care about, Raven being okay…" Beast Boy trailed off into a stuttering, blushing idiot, remembering that he was not alone with his thoughts. Both Cyborg and Robin were grinning at him with wide, teasing, friendly expressions.
"I…think I'm just gonna go now, okay? Bye!" and Beast Boy was off like a shot.
"Are you sure this is such a good idea?" Dick asked Cyborg.
"A good idea? Maybe, maybe not," he answered. Then he fixed his human eye on Dick, seeming to see more than he did when Robin hid behind his mask. "But just like with you and Star, it's right even if it isn't smart. Right for everybody."
"Even you?"
Cyborg smiled. "Yeah, even me. This team's the only family I've got. Of course I want to see you all happy." Then he glared. "But don't ever let me catch you in the backseat of my car with Starfire or you're gonna get it, bro."
Dick laughed. "Deal."
"So, what now?"
"Well, we should probably regroup and see if we can figure out what the Metabreed are doing teaming up with Slade. But it'll take a few more hours for the computer to finish running its scans. Until then, just get ready for the next fight, I guess."
"Well, then I'm going to see if I can calibrate my sonic cannon to be even more unfriendly for Ebon," Cyborg decided, heading towards the workshop.
"Good idea."
"Hey, Dick?"
Dick looked up, still not quite used to being called by his proper name. "Yeah?"
Cyborg smiled at him over his shoulder. "Go see your girl. You look like you could use some cheering up."
"I…yeah. I think I will." With a smile that he hoped wasn't as shy as it felt, he added, "Thanks."
But even as he walked off, feeling more at ease in heart from talking about something other than Slade and his own dark thoughts for a while, Dick wondered at himself.
"If Raven can trust me because she can read my mind, I can trust her. And if I trust her, then I can trust the team. But even Raven doesn't trust Batman. I was so sure he was proud of me before. I don't want Slade to be right, but what happens if he is?"
-==OOO==-
With the end of his last meeting of the day, Bruce Wayne put in a call to Alfred.
"Yes, sir?"
"I'm going out from here. I've got a lead I want to track down myself."
"Understood, sir," Alfred replied. Then, after a brief pause, "Shall I alert Master Dick or Master Tim?"
"No," Bruce shook his head. "No, I don't want them involved yet."
"Very good, sir."
As he cut the connection and strode to the part of his office that served as a false front against the hidden bunker behind it, considered the disapproving hint in Alfred's words. Alfred would never say so except when both in person and in private, but Bruce always knew when Alfred thought he was making a mistake.
"The mistake," he told himself as he slid out of the persona of Bruce Wayne and into Batman, "would be in letting that man anywhere near my city or my boys ever again. Nobody threatens what is mine to protect. Nobody."
In a matter of minutes, Batman was on the hunt.
-==OOO==-
Beast Boy didn't hesitate. He didn't dare. If he didn't go – now – he might not go at all. And somehow it helped not being on his own territory for this. If he crashed and burned, he felt pretty sure it would be easier to go back to the Tower and forget it had ever happened and leave his broken heart in a gloomy mansion in Gotham City.
He knew Raven had left her room and was elsewhere in the house without checking his communicator – somehow, ever since Trigon, Beast Boy had always been able to find Raven. Whether that was him tracking her with scent as many animals did or something else didn't really matter. All that mattered was his pounding heart as he pushed open the big wooden door to a library. Raven sat, floating in midair, looking out two-story windows at the approaching dark over the eastern sea.
"Rae…Raven?" he called quietly.
"Go away, Beast boy."
"No, I want to talk to you about something." Finding his courage, he stepped closer and actually moved around her so he could peer up at her.
Raven's eyes were closed and her face was composed. "I already know what you think you want to talk about."
"Oh, you-you do?" he felt his heart drop into his toes.
"Yes."
"Um, are you sure?"
"You want to tell me that you have feelings for me."
Raven's eyes opened and she fixed her clear, straight gaze on Beast Boy. The changeling gaped at her, seized with half a desire to run and half to make a joke. Somehow, he held still.
"Don't look so surprised. I am an empath, you know," Raven told him. Her voice wasn't unkind, but her expression was closed and unreadable even to him.
Beast Boy shifted his weight from foot to foot. "Oh. Okay. Um, so…what do you think?"
"You know I can't let this happen." The unreadable expression went even colder somehow.
Beast Boy charged ahead. "What do you mean?"
"I already found out once that I can't do this. I can't do feelings like affection or…love. It's too dangerous, for me and for everyone else. I won't risk it," Raven said.
Beast Boy clenched his hands into fists, remembering Malchior all too well and hating him. And also hating himself for making that whole situation worse. He had to set things right or he might miss his only chance. Without thinking, he blurted out whatever came to mind.
"But it doesn't have to be dangerous this time! I'm not some creepy dragon who's going to try to destroy you! I'm not Trigon! I…I couldn't hurt you. Not you." The last came out as a whisper and he dropped his eyes to the floor. "I couldn't hurt you, Raven," he repeated.
"Yes, you could, but that's not the point. I just can't, Beast Boy." Something in Raven's tone was so warm he looked up quickly – quick enough to spot the briefest thaw to softness in her face before she regained her own control.
Beast Boy pounced on it. "Wait…does that mean you DO have feelings for me? That you do feel something and can't let yourself? Or do you really just think of me as a friend.?"
"Just…a friend, Beast Boy. That's all." Raven closed her eyes.
"I don't believe you."
She sighed. "You don't have to believe me. This is what I'm saying and this is how it's going to be."
"But why? When we could both be happy?" Something was changing, something was happening, Beast Boy could feel it. He knew Raven wanted him to back down, but he stubbornly refused to give up. Not this time. Not on her.
"You don't know we would be happy. It's not worth the risk." Her tone was flatly even and Beast Boy hated it.
He actually took a step forward, close enough that he could have touched her. But instead he spoke from the heart. "Yes it is! It's always worth the risk! Isn't that why we became heroes in the first place, so that people could live their lives, could find happiness, without bad guys ruining it for them? Just because our job is to make sure other people get to find love doesn't mean we can't do it, too!"
Raven's face didn't crack and she didn't open her eyes. But she dipped ever so slightly in her levitation.
Beast Boy pressed on. "You know I'm right, Raven. Isn't it worth a try?"
"No, it's not."
Suddenly Beast Boy was afraid. Afraid of what he didn't know. But he wasn't afraid of rejection this time, not of losing a person he cared about. This fear was much more present than that, much more immediate. Somehow, even if he didn't understand it, he was afraid for Raven. And that meant he would do anything.
"Please, Raven. Please think about this," he begged.
"I have, Beast Boy. I have made my decision. I'm sorry."
Abruptly Raven floated up, phasing through the ceiling with a flash of power. Beast Boy could have followed her, could have chased her down, but instead he stared at the spot where she had disappeared. Where he felt pretty sure he had seen a crack in her composure – and behind that crack had been pain. Whatever reason Raven had for her answer, it wasn't one she wanted to give, Beast Boy was sure of it. And if that was true, then he had to trust her reason, but never believe in it.
Whether she could hear him or not, he said to the empty space, "…I won't give up on you. I promise, Raven. I'll never give up on you."
-==OOO==-
Starfire sat perched on the counter. "I believe I now understand why we have the chores," she said.
"You mean Dick makes you wash dishes, too?" Tim asked, rubbing at some splashed soapy water on one cheek with the dry part of his sleeve.
"Master Dick was always highly disciplined," Alfred said with a small smile. "And he understood well the value of hard work that is both meticulous in nature and mundane in craft."
Starfire tipped her head. "Cyborg once attempted to build us a robotic maid to clean up our many messes. Robin was quite upset and said that we all shared in the responsibility for our home. Is this what he learned from you?"
"I certainly would be flattered were that the case," Alfred replied, "but I believe that was instilled in him long before he ever came into this house."
"Did you know Robin's parents?" Starfire wanted to know.
Tim cringed, and Alfred spoke quickly. "I did not, I am afraid." Then, almost too casually, "If I may ask, Miss Starfire, why do you still refer to Master Dick as Robin?"
Starfire frowned. "Have I done something wrong?" She leaned out to peer at where Tim was staring hard at the sink. "I am sorry if I have not understood another Earth custom."
"It's okay," Tim said, his back tight and ramrod straight. "I'm just…I got used to being the only Robin here, I guess."
"I suppose I did not consider that Robin is anyone but Robin," Starfire said. "I am Starfire, and Raven is Raven. And Cyborg…" She stopped. "Does Cyborg have another name? I know that Beast Boy does."
"Would I be correct in supposing that among your people a warrior goes by one name only?" Alfred asked.
Starfire nodded. "To adopt another name would be to show cowardice and shame."
"Ah. There are those like yourself and like Miss Raven who have only one name and no fear of it being known. But there are also those like Master Bruce who would not wish their identity as Batman to be linked with their life as Bruce Wayne. Master Bruce can do much more good when his foes do not know where to find him. I believe you have had your own troubles when your enemies came for your home."
"And Robin was like this as well? Hiding his true name and his home to keep safe?"
"As well as to protect Master Bruce himself," Alfred said. "Imagine the danger to them both if someone thought the way to hurt Bruce Wayne or Batman was to hurt the boy who went to the local high school under the name Dick Grayson."
"I believe I see," Starfire said, forehead creased. She looked at Tim. "I am sorry for confusing you. But Robin…my Robin," she corrected, "I have only known as Robin. It is who he is."
"No," Tim shook his head. "Dick is the real person. Robin is who he becomes when he wears the mask."
"You're wrong," Starfire crossed her arms. "Even when he does not wear the mask, he is still Robin. If anything, it is Dick Grayson who is the false identity. Even asleep or hurt or out of uniform, he is always Robin."
Tim looked at Starfire carefully. "I think you might be right," he said. "I wonder if that's a good thing."
"If you ask me," Alfred put in, "I believe it does not matter. I know him as Master Dick for I knew him before he had become Robin. But you are correct that he is the same driven, loyal, courageous defender of all that is right no matter his guise. He did not adopt 'Robin' falsely – rather, I believe he embraced it in himself fully."
Tim wiped his hands on a towel. "And me?"
"You, Master Tim," Alfred looked at him, "are always Tim even when you are Robin. But you are also much younger than Master Dick was when he first began in this battle. I believe only time shall tell in the end which is the stronger in you – Tim or Robin."
Suddenly Starfire was struck by a question. "And which is Batman?"
Alfred looked away, but he answered her. "Master Bruce was not always Batman. He became Batman when he was very young, and now it is Bruce Wayne who is the mask." Then he fixed his eyes on Tim. "But it is Master Bruce who is your father, not Batman. And you must not forget it. It is the only thing that keeps him from becoming lost in himself."
Alfred dipped his head politely to the pair who were exchanging glances and left the kitchen. Outside, he put a hand on Dick's shoulder where the young man was leaning against the wall – listening and thinking.
"You know it better than Tim," he said softly. "You know Master Bruce needs you to be his son just as Batman needs a Robin at his side. It gives them both something to protect – and love."
"Yeah," Dick said through a dry throat. "Yeah, I know."
"Do not doubt yourself, my boy," Alfred told him. "And do not doubt Master Bruce. You are both too stubborn to be beaten by the shadows of doubt."
Dick sighed. "I'll try, Alfred."
"That has always been enough," Alfred replied stepping away. But his gaze never left Dick's eyes. "It has always been enough for me, and it has always been enough for your mentor."
"Which one?"
Alfred smiled slightly. "Both of them, Master Dick. Both of them."
-==OOO==-
Cyborg was just finishing tinkering with a portion of his cannon when there was a beeping from the main computer console. He set down his tools and made his way over.
"Looks like some kind of alarm," he said. Spotting the flashing button, he pushed it.
Suddenly a chilling, familiar voice filled the cave.
"Hello, Robin. It seems your former master has lost his way. I would be happy to return him to you, for a price. You know what I want. Meet me on the roof of the old Gotham train station. I won't order you to come alone because you'll merely disobey me. But I will not be alone, either. You have one hour before I let my associates take their own revenge."
Cyborg punched the built-in Titans communicator in his arm. "Titans! We got serious trouble here! Slade's got Batman!"
