I fell asleep for a while, drifting off in Phil's lap, and when I woke up Phil was gone and the house was quiet. I sat up with a yawn. I didn't know how long I had slept for but I felt refreshed. I spotted a twenty pound note on the bed side table, along with a note from Phil.
Gone out now, we'll probably be back late. Peej says to make yourself at home and feel free to use the consoles and everything. I left money for pizza. have a nice evening :)
Phil xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I couldn't help but smile a little as I stood up and stretched, wandering out into the kitchen and pouring myself a drink. I did as PJ had said and made myself at home, turning on my laptop for the first time in days, sticking the TV on and ordering a pizza. Once I had food I put on a film and took one of Phil's jumpers from his bag, snuggling up in it and relaxing, checking my twitter and tumblr and youtube subscriptions and not paying much attention to the film. I felt a little more secure now that we weren't staying in a hotel and mine and Phil's names couldn't be traced. PJ and Jamie both seemed nice, and had an impressive collection of games and films. I certainly felt less on edge here, as it was in a slightly less busy part of London and there were no hotels near, so my parents wouldn't suspect it at all. Besides, my parents thought we were in Manchester so we were safe. I played some games, watched a few more films and raided the fridge, and got into bed just after midnight. I took my jeans off but kept Phil's jumper on; it was warm and fluffy and a little too big for me and it smelt like Phil, and it was just comforting. It was the next best thing to having Phil actually there with me.

I didn't resent Phil for going out, as he'd had a stressful past few days and it wasn't his fault I couldn't come. It was good to have a little time apart anyway. We used to spend a lot of time together, but not non-stop like this, just for a few hours a day and I often slept round his, but I had to go home so my parents didn't worry. It was nice to spend so much time with Phil all at once, don't get me wrong; I had always hated those every-other nights when I had to sleep on my own, but being with him non-stop had been a little straining for us, especially as I was so anxious and probably really annoying, and we were both so tired and on edge. In fact, we had coped pretty well considering the circumstances. I loved Phil, an unbelievable amount, and I couldn't even imagine what it would have been like to have had to break up with him of my own accord. I was sure I would have had a breakdown within a few days, and have called him before the week was through. We were safe here, and it was nice to be able to hold Phil's hand in public and go out for dinner with him... Things that normal couples did. I could even kid myself that we were the same age.

I didn't care that Phil was so much older than me, and in fact five years wasn't even that much. Phil was comfortable with us and so was I, so I didn't see why it should be anyone else's business. I loved him and he treated me like an adult, which was a nice change from being babied by my parents and talked down to by my friends. Phil understood me. He got that my anxiety wasn't my fault, wasn't just me 'looking for attention'. He knew how to calm me down. Unlike almost everybody else I'd ever been with it wasn't about looks or how drunk they were, or how willing they would be to make out for a while so I could escape my friends, with Phil it was so much deeper than that. It was the way he was so caring and the way he told me he loved me and the way he knew exactly what I was feeling and how to make me feel better if I was scared or upset.
It was the way he looked at me, that made me feel like I was important to him, like I was his everything. That was something I'd never even come close to experiencing before.

I tossed and turned for a little while, trying to get to sleep, but I didn't feel very tired any more. I eventually gave up and went back on my laptop for bit. For several hours I was sat up on youtube, and I finally tried to sleep again and three am, with little success. I was just about to go and stick another film on when I heard the front door open and loud voices. Phil appeared a little while later, unsteady on his feet. I stayed where I was, having found myself half asleep. "Shh, shh, Dan's asleep." Phil called to the others in a stage whisper, even though he was making most of the noise himself. "Aww, he's so adorable when he's asleep, aww look at him." he cooed from the doorway. I still didn't move, trying to hide the little smirk on my face. Phil was so cute when he was drunk. I heard PJ call something to him from the other room about more drinks. "No, I'm fine..." he said, the slur obvious in his voice. He stumbled into the room and I felt a dip in the bed behind me a few moments later, and then his arms around me. He was trying his best to stay quiet so as not to wake me, but he let out the occasional giggle. "Dan," Phil said in another one of those whispers that practically echoed around the room. "Yeah?" I mumbled. "Are you awake?" he asked, and I chuckled a little. "Yep. Did you have a good time?"
"Yeah it was great! We saw this band play - you have to come with us next time, they were awesome." he paused for a bit. "Did I wake you up?" he asked after a silence.
"No, I was having trouble sleeping anyway. I don't like sleeping on my own."
"Aww," Phil pressed a clumsy kiss to the side of my face, "Well now you don't have to sl- is this my jumper?" he got distracted mid sentence. I bit my lip, going a little red.
"Yeah. It's comfy... and it smells nice." I muttered. He laughed quietly.
"You're so sweet." he said, tilting my head round to face him and kissing me. I twisted round a little to make it easier. I screwed my face up at the alcohol on his tongue, and pulled away quickly. "How much did you drink tonight?" I asked with a little smile, nudging my forehead against his.
"A bit," Phil giggled. "I wish you could've come with us."
"Nah it's ok, you deserve a break from me anyway." I said quietly. I pressed a short kiss to Phil's soft, pink lips. Phil sighed. "Don't say that, you know I don't mind. How are you feeling anyway?" he asked, looking closely at me, his eyes slightly unfocused.
"Fine. A lot more relaxed." I said, stroking his hair softly. He nodded and smiled. "Good."
We heard PJ stumbling by on the other side of the closed door, and Jamie shouting something to him. "Did you tell those guys... why we're really here?" I asked quietly. Phil shook his head. "I told them we're going on a trip together. I don't know whether to tell them or not... I mean, I trust them, I just don't think we should just tell everyone and anyone. I don't know, what do you think?"
"I don't mind. If you can trust them then they should know the truth, they are letting us stay here after all."
"Yeah, I guess..." Phil said quietly. "I don't know how they'd react though. You didn't see Jamie's reaction to the whole age thing."
I frowned, "What happened... I heard you tell him and he did the 'oh' thing."
"Yeah, well he kept giving me these looks, then tonight after he'd had a few drinks he brought it up again..."
I sighed, leaning my head on his chest. "What did he say?"
"Well at first he was going on about how it was illegal and I could get into trouble for it... Then he said it must be weird for me because surely if the age difference is that big you're not as mature as me and we couldn't have much in common." Phil sniffed. I frowned, hugging him.
"It's bullshit Phil, you know that."
"I know, I love you, I just want to be able to be like... A normal couple, without people trying to talk me out of it."
"It's ok... only another year and a half." I said, before realising that wasn't a lot of comfort. That was still a long time. Phil sighed. He still seemed a little upset. "Is everything ok?" I asked. He was quiet for a minute or so.
"Jamie somehow came to the conclusion that I don't care about you and that I'm just using you for sex." he blurted out.
We were both quiet for a while longer. Eventually I spoke. "But you're not. We both know that." I laughed nervously.
"Of course I'm not, it's just... I don't like thinking that that's what everyone thinks about us."
"They don't, I bet most people don't think twice about it. Five years really isn't all that much."
"I know, I just... I hate it, hearing what people think about us... about me. He said if I wasn't PJ's friend he'd call the police."
"Well then he's an idiot and needs to mind his own business. It doesn't matter what other people think if we're happy, right? Unless... I mean, are you happy?"
"Yeah, of course I am. It's just... I thought we would be more accepted away from your parents and everything."
"You're... are you having second thoughts?" I asked, barely daring to voice the question.
"No, they're not second thoughts, Dan. They're things I've always been worried about. I'm just starting to wonder if this whole running away thing is worth it. Surely it would be easier to just go back... I bet your parents are worried sick about you."
I stared at him through the almost total darkness, his eyes the only distinguishable feature. I mumbled something inaudible and turned back around, blinking back tears. He arms slid cautiously round my waist a few minutes later, and we lay there in silence for a while. I had difficulty sleeping even now that Phil was here.