A/N: Hello! I've been neglecting my second favorite couple...Youko and Sei. Here is a, well I don't really know what to call it. It's not dark, but it's on the somber side...a little reflection and character study. Thanks for the reviews...you guys never fail to light up my day! ENJOY
p.s. If you haven't already, go check out Tekiru's "The Lillian Interviews."
Letters
"The seasons always change. And life will find a way."
--- "Wintersong" by Ingrid Michaelson and Sara Bareilles
Unbeknownst to anyone, Sei spent most of her free time in college writing. True, there was the necessary writing that you just couldn't forego in college—term papers, lab reports, long apology emails to professors and TAs for missing a lecture—but that was not the type of writing Sei allotted a lot of her precious free time into.
She wrote creatively. She wrote with an open mind, a stream of consciousness (and sometimes vulgarity), and a crappy ink pen from the pack she bought on sale. She wrote her heart out. Her fucking heart out.
Much rambling found its way onto Sei Satou's papers. She would start with a random topic, often musing about an event that occurred in class or a moment she witnessed while walking to her dorm or something that she would just find striking as she went on about her life. Her digressions led to other completely unrelated topics and by the sixth page, a whole plethora of topics were—criticized, lauded, mused about, dissected, hated, understood—covered, for a lack of a better word.
She attempted poetry, only to find that she had no amore for lines and rhymes and structure. She also failed epically on her first try, which might have contributed a little to the abandonment of poetry and rhyme schemes.
Sei wrote many questions—a whole array of them. Some were as plain and simple as 'why did I take this goddamn class?' while more complicated questions like 'why am I here?' were also squeezed in, between complaints about professors and the crappy weather.
Several pages of stories wound up on Sei's collection. Tales from her younger days were described—like a brawl with a certain dekochin in front of the school building. She also wrote fondly of her memories as a member of the Yamayurikai—many moments like sexually compromising hugs were ever so artistically described. She wrote about her uncertain future—her desired future. A career. A car that actually worked (Sei firmly believed it was the car and not her nor her driving that was the problem). A home. A home cooked dinner (shared with someone). A warm bed (shared with someone). A life, preferably one shared with someone.
She wrote many addressed letters, knowing well that that the addressee would never receive the said letter. She wrote to Shimako, asking her about her Buddha crazy petite soeur and, more importantly, the new strength she had somewhat pulled out of letting the strange, hot tempered, and opinionated girl into her life. She wrote letters to Yumi, giving her sexually compromising hugs in words (with Sachiko hitting her a second later), and then asking her about her life now. There was no use passing on wisdom or advice—Sei had said everything that Yumi needed to hear from her before she left Lillian. She wrote to the dekochin once or twice, asking her about the size of her forehead and her husband.
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She never wrote to Youko.
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She could never find the words to say. Hell, she didn't even know what to say. She had attempted to start a letter, writing 'Youko,' on top of a piece of paper, before blanking out and realizing that that letter was never going to be written. She developed a habit of folding the failed letters into paper cranes, and by the end of her fourth year, Sei had over five hundred folded paper cranes, each one with 'Youko,' buried deep inside the creases.
(Optional ending if you're feeling a little happy today :D )
"Sei!"
"Holy Jesus! Youko, you're home early—"
"Can you explain to me why we have five hundred and thirty-one paper cranes laid out on our bed? No, 'I got bored' doesn't cut it, and yes, I counted."
