Welcome back! I didn't forget about you guys, and I am certainly NOT abandoning ANY of my stories. Everything I've started, I will finish posting.

Anyway, welcome back! I know it's been awhile, so my apologies. But, here we are again. Thanks for all of the reviews, follows, and favourites.

Now, I know I should be posting a proper recap (like I usually do), especially since it's been a LONG while, but quite frankly, I'm just really eager to post something again, so rather than giving the usual version, here's a crappier recap (don't let its crap-tacular-ness deter you from reading, I swear I try to write my stories a little better than that):

LAME RECAP: Andy's an awesome poker player, who outwits Oliver, Sam, and her dad in a game of poker. Her scumbag boyfriend runs with the wrong crowd and, as a result, so does Andy. Consequently, she finds herself participating in some less-than-legal activities, namely (but not limited to) the use of an unknown drug (ironically, the drug I chose happens to be one that has been mentioned a lot in the news recently as a result of overdoses, etc... that will come up more in the next few chapters). Despite being little more than acquaintances, Sam bails Andy out on numerous occasions. But, when he refuses to help her - in an attempt to get her to smarten up on her own - Andy ends up spiralling downward, until she hits rock bottom. She was given the date rape drug at a party, and is now suffering from withdrawals from her drug addiction in the comfort of Sam Swarek's place because she's still on the outs with her father. While left alone, Andy stumbles upon the pills that she's addicted to and is left debating just how badly she wants the pain and sickness to go away.

Also, if you've never read any of my other stories, and you hate the use of the present tense, let me just say that this is the ONLY story that I have ever used the present tense in. I actually originally wrote this story in the past tense, but switched it over to the present before posting each chapter. I actually HATE using the present tense, but I wanted to try something a little different. Regardless, I do like the ending of this story, so try to bear with me!


Less than an hour later…

Drawing in a deep breath, his fingers curl around the doorknob, his heart hammering twofold in his chest as he starts to turn the smooth metal. It's the same feeling of adrenaline pumping through his veins as when he's on the job, gun drawn and perp lurking in the shadows. Except, this time, it's because of the teenaged girl who has taken up residence in his home.

With a quick shake of his head and a choked laugh, Sam finally pushes the door open, mentally chiding himself for second guessing his decision because deep down, he knows that setting Andy up with an internship at the station is an accomplishment. Something good. Really good. But, that doesn't stop him from feeling anxious, not knowing how she'll react. Wondering if she'll just pick up and go, or if she'll tough it out and really strive to get better. And it's that unknown – the absolute feeling of uncertainty – that scares him… Because her next move will dictate her future, her desire to change, and to be something more than an addict.

His mind briefly flashes back to the last few days, to what he's learned about her. To what he's seen. And while, thus far, she's proven that she's serious about getting better – about getting her life back on track – he's seen enough addicts and heard enough stories to know that at any moment, things can change.

Letting out a long breath, he hesitantly steps into his place, silently praying for her to be asleep so that he can have just a little more time to figure out how to break the news to her. Even a few more minutes might do; hours would be better though. Days, most definitely. Hell, he isn't sure he'll ever be ready, and not just for this conversation, but for this role, the responsibility… Andy McNally. Already, his head is spinning and he's finding it difficult to maintain control. Instead of feeling calm and cool, something about her has him on edge, feeling a little off-kilter and more than a little over-protective. Maybe even a little irrational? Anxious? Definitely unbalanced though. And, quite frankly, it unnerves him. But, he can't help it. He wants to help her. Needs to. She just has to let him.

As he takes another step inside, he spots her and, unfortunately for him, finds her awake and sitting – or rather, slouched over – in the stool behind his kitchen counter.

A series of curses run through his head as his eyes peruse her, noting the clear exhaustion in her body and her stark white face. She looks worse than when he left, and that troubles him. Oliver had said she was doing okay when he called earlier, but she looks anything but okay at the moment.

"Hey," he says a little cautiously. "What are you doing up?"

Andy glances over at him, but her eyes don't linger long, and as he watches her, he isn't even sure that she's fully aware of his presence. She seems a little dazed. Unfocused.

"McNally?" Sam slides off his shoes and heads toward her, stopping only when he's right beside her. When she doesn't acknowledge him further, he knows that something is definitely wrong. "Andy?" he tries again, this time swiveling the stool until her knees hit his thighs.

Still, no real acknowledgement.

Palms on either side of her face, he slowly tilts her head upward. "What's wrong?" His tone is unusually soft, but his worry is clear. Alarm bells are sounding in his head. Even when she was experiencing the worst of the withdrawal symptoms, she was more responsive. In fact, the only time he's really seen her like this is when she's scared... when she's hiding something. "Don't shut me out."

Her gaze finally slides upward and the sudden moisture in her eyes nearly has him stepping back, stunned. But, he stays, forcing his feet to remain firmly planted in front of her, and gently wipes the tears away as they start to fall. "Talk to me, McNally," he whispers, his tone pleading.

It's awhile before her eyes seem to come back into focus, before she even attempts any kind of response.

"I…" Her voice is weak and just like her body it's shaking. "I…" A sob escapes her, swallowing up her next words.

Taking her in his arms, Sam holds her close, running one hand up and down her back in a soothing motion.

"I don't know if I can do this," she croaks, practically collapsing into his embrace as another wave of emotion crashes over her.

His hand falters for a split second before it continues to trail back down her spine. This is exactly what he was afraid of. The lack of commitment. Backing out. "You're almost there," he says quietly, his left hand unconsciously tightening its hold on her as his right one moves with just a little more purpose, as if his touch can impart some of his own strength to her. "Just another day or two and it will start to get better, okay?"

She closes her eyes, her head pressed against his chest as her tears stain his t-shirt. "I thought I could do it. I thought..."

"Hey," he says, finally releasing her so that he can settle his hands on her clammy face again. "McNally, you can do this. You're gonna do it, and I am gonna help you. I'm gonna be here every step of the way, okay?" He draws in a steadying breath as he waits for some kind of response, preferably some type of affirmation that she hasn't given up.

The nod she gives is barely perceptible, but it's all he needs.

"It's harder… a lot harder than I ever thought it would be," she whispers, now staring just off to the side.

"I know," Sam replies. "But you're not in this alone." Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, he gives her a small smile. "If you really wanna change, you will. And, it is hard and it will be for a little while longer, but you're strong, McNally. Don't doubt that." When she starts to shake her head, he directs her attention back to his face, but again, she quickly averts her eyes. "You ever doubt that, ever think that you can't do this, you look to me. Got it? Because if you're serious about changing your life, then that's what we are gonna do. Together. But, you need to be sure because if I'm gonna help you, there's no going back."

Andy draws in a shaky breath, but waits a moment, then slowly raises her eyes, letting them settle on his chin for a few seconds before allowing them to trail upward to meet his brown orbs, this time of her own free will. "I don't wanna go back," she breathes.

"Good." His smile grows, until she opens her mouth again.

"But... there's, umm... there's something I need to tell you."

He stares at her in silence, his mind racing with all of the things she might say. And, based on her facial expression, it isn't going to be good, and that only makes his worry bump up a notch.

"I only wanted something for my head," she begins, her teeth nervously biting down on her lower lip. "I didn't mean…"

His smile fades completely, his face paling as understanding begins to settle in. She found the pills, or somehow got ahold of some type of drug. "McNally…?" As her name tumbles from his lips, he takes a small step back, frantically searching her face and body for signs that he may have missed before.

Nothing.

Eyes flicking back to hers, he anxiously waits.

With a trembling left hand, Andy reaches for his right one, then deposits a small package into it.

Sam continues to stare at her face, even after her hand falls away, needing a few more seconds before he can even think about looking down. His heart is beating so quickly it feels like it's going to jump right out of his chest. Did she just erase all of the progress she'd made over the last few days? Had she cracked? Caved? Had he made a mistake by leaving her? His face contorts into a grimace, his eyebrows furrowed, as the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach grows.

"I didn't know… I swear, I..."

Sam's gaze reluctantly slides down to his hand, both desperate and fearful to discover what rests in the palm. But, a split second is all it takes for relief to flood through him, as he counts the number of pills. "You didn't take any." The corners of his mouth twitch upward as he recounts the pills, but he isn't completely at ease yet. "You..."

"Part of me wanted to... to take them.. at least one," Andy admits, brown orbs full of guilt. "Just to make everything stop hurting and…" She shakes her head. "If you hadn't come back just now, I don't know how much longer I could have held off."

Sam pockets the drugs, trying to remind himself that he needs to proceed with caution because, sure, she found the drugs and was tempted, but she still didn't take them. "The thing is..." He pauses and runs his tongue over his lips to wet them. "The thing is," he repeats, this time running a hand through his hair. "Being tested this early on and being able to resist… it's big, McNally. Your body is still craving the drug, badly too. But, you didn't take it. You may have wanted to, may have thought that you couldn't hold out much longer, but you did. You resisted. You didn't give into that temptation, and that's a really good thing."

"It doesn't feel good," Andy argues, as she reaches up to rub her temples.

His lips curl upward again. "It will."

Seeing her start to sway on the stool, he reaches for her and slowly scoops her up.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking you to bed," Sam replies automatically.

A small, rather weak laugh escapes her. "And here I thought you didn't want to sleep with me, Sam Swarek...?"

He freezes mid-turn, his entire body going tense. "What?" he chokes out.

"It's a joke," she replies, as she lowers her head to his shoulder and snuggles into him. "Remember in the parking lot at 15 Division? You know, what Oliver said about guys wanting to sleep with me…? And I said that you don't, but now you're taking me to bed…" She let out a loud yawn. "Really killed the joke there, Swarek."

With a small chuckle, he shakes his head and completes the turn. "You're really something, you know that McNally?" he says as he carries her back into the guestroom, still recovering from her bout of boldness.

Once there, he gently sets on her on the bed and moves to pull up the blanket, but as he does so, she reaches out and grabs his hand.

"Thank you."

Sam merely nods before tucking her in and leaving the room, deciding to tell her about the internship later. After all, one big hurdle is enough at a time, right?


A few hours later...

Andy groans as she opens her eyes, the light from outside causing her to squint.

"How are you feeling?"

She jumps at the sound of Sam's raspy voice, her head snapping to her left to find him sitting in a chair beside her bed.

"Sorry," he mutters, looking a little sheepish as he holds his hands up apologetically.

Ignoring the apology, she asks, "Are you sure things are supposed to get better?"

Rather than offering any kind of verbal response, he instead hands her some pain medication and a glass of water.

"Thanks," she says, gratefully accepting both. Once done, she sets the glass on the nightstand, then looks back at him, noticing the creases in his forehead. The worry. Nervousness. "What's wrong?"

He hesitates.

"Sam?"

"I want you to tell your dad." He says it without looking at her. He can't.

Andy's eyes widen in disbelief, positive that she misheard him because there is absolutely no way that what she thinks she heard can be real. "What?"

"Good father or not, he does care about you and… I think he deserves to know."

"No."

"Andy…"

"No," she repeats firmly.

Sam sighs. "Look, I think if you tell him, you'll be less likely to relapse." Not only that, but while she was sleeping, he kept asking himself if he could really do this on his own. If they could do it on their own. After all, even with Oliver in the loop, helping her get her life back on track was going to be a huge task. And, if they had to worry about Tommy finding out, then things would only be more complicated. He just had to somehow get her to agree and, right now, he suspected his chances of winning the lottery were greater. Still, he had to try. "Please?"

"That's not… No." She shakes her head again. "He's…"

"You want help, right?"

"Telling my dad isn't going to help," she argues. "He's already an alcoholic. What do you think he's gonna do if he finds out about this?"

"That's not what I asked."

She gapes at him. It's clear that she couldn't have made it through the last couple of days without Sam's help, but what he's asking is just plain ridiculous. She can't tell her dad; he'll kill her. "I do, but... I can't. I can't do it."

"You can."

Andy rubs her eyes with the palms of her hands, her entire body tense with stress. Then, with a deep breath, she pushes herself up off the bed, forcing herself to stay upright despite how weak she feels. "Thanks for… for everything, but I…"

"Don't walk out the door." He can hear the hint of panic in his own voice, but he knows that if she leaves, she won't come back. She'll fall back into her old lifestyle, her addiction, and she might very well wind up dead.

Tears prick her eyes again. "I can't tell him. I'm sorry, I just can't."

Though he wants to reach out for her, Sam remains seated, knowing that she has to make the final decision. He can't force her to stay. He can't force her to do anything. He can ask, but she has to be the one to decide. "I need you to trust me, McNally."

"I do, but this…"

"Scares you," Sam suggests. "And it should. It needs to. If nothing about this situation terrified you, then we'd have an even bigger problem on our hands."

"He'll kill me," Andy whispers.

"He'll help you, and maybe it will convince him to get help too." He slowly rises to his feet and holds his hand out to her. "Will you trust me, McNally? Will you do whatever it takes to get better?"

Her eyes flick from his hand to his face and back down again, wondering if he might be right. Maybe her dad will finally get the help he needs, if she gets help too. Still, the thought of confronting him terrifies her. "How… how am I supposed to tell him?"

"Ease the blow," Sam says after a moment of silence. "Tell him you're serious about getting your life back on track."

"He won't believe—"

"Tell him you'll be working at 15 Division over the summer, as an intern."

Andy's eyes widen. "You want me to lie to him? Lie about one thing, but tell him about… about this…?"

He shifts uncomfortably under her gaze. "It won't be lying."

Confusion flits across her face. "But…?"

"I talked to Boyko," Sam says slowly, studying her face the entire time to try to get a read on how she's taking the news. "He's willing to take you on as a summer intern. It will mean you'll have to sign a confidentiality agreement and fill out some other paperwork, but—"

"Boyko agreed to that?"

Sam feels his lips twitch upon hearing the disbelief, even hope, in her voice. "He did."

"And… and you did that for me? You…" She falls silent as moisture fills her eyes, feeling more than a little overwhelmed. Any other day it may have irked her that he'd gone behind her back and made a big decision about her life, especially without talking to her about it first. But, not today. After all he's done for her the last few days, she's feeling a little mind-blown, and although she's still feeling a little groggy, she's positive that she'll appreciate the gesture even more once her mind clears and she's back on her feet. "Why?" she chokes out the question.

"I had my fair share of screw-ups as a teen," Sam admits. "Probably would've landed myself in jail, but I had a run-in with a cop who saw something in me that nobody else really did. And, for the last few years, he's kept me in line. Even became my training officer and helped make me the cop and person that I am today." He pauses and looks her in the eye. "Everyone needs help sometimes, McNally. There's nothing wrong with that. But changing, it isn't easy. And what you're doing now is probably one of the most difficult things you'll ever do. And, you might wanna give up sometimes... it's normal to feel that way every once in awhile, but you've just gotta remember that you're not alone."

Biting down on her lower lip, Andy draws in a shaky breath, then finally places her hand in his. "You're a good man, Sam Swarek," she says quietly as her eyes rise to meet his, a small but rather shy smile tugging at her lips. "And… you're a really good friend."

The corners of his mouth curl upward upon hearing the admission, one that he was sure she'd never make. But it gives him hope. These words, they make him wonder if maybe she'll finally stop shutting him out now, and maybe, just maybe, he can finally help her move forward. Help her change.

"Oliver's lucky to have you in his life," Andy adds, her voice barely a whisper. "And so am I."

Before he realizes what's happening, she releases his hand and steps toward him, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his shoulder. His entire body freezes for a moment before he hesitantly wraps her up in his own arms, a strange sense of contentment washing over him as he feels her body relax against his.

Friends... with a woman. A woman who isn't his sister. Who isn't his co-worker, Noelle. This woman. The one who has an uncanny ability to read him, who he hardly knows, yet still somehow manages to make him so angry and… scared. Who makes him smile. Makes him so furious. And so bloody confused...

Glancing down at the top of her head, he suddenly finds himself feeling alarmed as realization truly dawns upon him and his mind starts to grasp what it all means... After all, helping her largely requires being around her. And, her acknowledgement that they're friends, means...? He isn't sure. Regardless, it has his mind reeling because after all this time trying to convince her to let him help, he's left wondering not just how to follow through with that, but something far more perplexing, in his mind anyway... Just how the hell is he supposed to be friends with a woman?


Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think.

Unfortunately, this is only a fraction of the chapter, but I wanted to get something up for you now, rather than waiting even longer, so hopefully this helps tide you over a bit. My next updates will likely be to Madness, Haunted, or Rewind, Restart.

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