She needs this baby, needs all that it represents.

The look in her sister's eyes when she had made the offer had confirmed her decision. The medical procedures had stripped it of some of its romantic idealism but the hug they had shared when pregnancy was confirmed restored her faith.

And from that moment, she had never been alone. She had spent more time with her sister than she had since they were kids, more time with her brother in law than she had ever spent. She wanted them to experience every step of the journey from the scans and blood tests to the morning sickness and swollen ankles; from the first fluttering kick to the strange distortions in her belly that revealed the presence of a fully formed foot. After all, this baby was theirs.

And when she was not with them she was at work; Deakins beaming like he was the proud father, Ron treating her with reverence, and Bobby... well, was Bobby.

And even when she was alone, she was not. Because everywhere she went she carried a passenger, one that was determined to make its presence felt as it inflicted her with heartburn and fatigue, as it stretched her stomach and subtly reshaped the rest of her small frame. Inflictions, yes, but there were also the blessings of the bubbling of its hiccups, the strange flip flops in her belly as it shifted position and in those moments she would smile that secret special smile she had seen on others and had thought would never be hers.

And as the months had passed a little resentment, a little frustration kicked in. She couldn't find a comfortable place on her hip for her holster, had to sit down at every opportunity and that made her feel even smaller. She was desk bound and had to watch with envy and a little bitterness as another detective took her place at Bobby's side, a place she had fought hard for him to recognise.

Then came the longing for this to be over, and the interminable wait for labour to begin.

And labour, when it came, was just that; fucking hard work. But the reward... oh, the reward! She sees the tears in her sister's eyes, sees her hands twitching to reach out and gently asks;

"Just give us a moment, will you?"

Then there is just her and her son. She stares, hypnotised by baby blue eyes, and her mind goes on a dreamy journey of first steps, first words, first days at school, first girlfriend...with Joe as the doting dad at every phase. Journey complete, fantasy fully indulged; she looks again... at her nephew and calls her sister, her family back in.

She watches the new family, their journey beginning and she knows she will be there for all those moments. She settles back into the pillows and feels an overwhelming sense of satisfaction, of achievement, of pride, of fulfillment. And a small edge of smugness; after all, this was something her brilliant partner could never do...

It was a relief to finally be alone.

She had needed this baby, but her sister needed him more.