Chapter 9
The morning passed and afternoon soon came. Ethan had managed half a sandwich and had been pushed with fluids all day to help his body cope with the chemo. Cal had come back not long after Lily had left looking refreshed and more awake than when he had left earlier in the morning.
A little sooner than the boys were hoping, the doctor popped his head around the curtain followed by a nurse pushing the machine in behind him. Seeing it Ethan's face dropped.
"We're going to get you set up. This will slowly release the drugs into your system over two hours ok? I'm not going to lie. As you know the side effects can be quite distressing and…"
"Don't." Ethan interrupted the doctor. "I don't want things explained, I already know."
Cal looked at his brother, normally mild mannered it was unusual for Ethan to interrupt like that. "Hey…come on. He's doing his job."
"It's totally fine. I will just get this attached to your cannula like so." He spoke doing as he had stated. "There you go, I will be back soon to see how you are doing."
Once he'd left Cal sighed. "So this is it then…"
"Yes. I'm aware of that fact thank you." Ethan snapped.
"Woah." Cal stood up and frowned. "What's with the sudden attitude problem?"
Ethan just sighed and shook his head. "I don't know… I'm sorry. I'm just scared."
You're bound to be scared. It would be worrying if you weren't but you need to try and remember who is here to help you." Cal told him.
"Lily came up earlier." Ethan smiled changing the subject. "I told her to watch out for you."
"For me? I'm not the one that is ill Ethan." Cal laughed slightly.
"No, I know. You don't understand how hard it gets Cal. You can't be here every minute of every day. You know that." Ethan told him. "Lily is going to make sure you look after yourself since I can't."
"I appreciate your concern Ethan but I really am fine." Cal shook his head. "I'm untouchable."
"Untouchable? Cal you're not superman." Ethan warned him.
"I wasn't claiming to be." His brother responded quickly.
"So none of this bothers you?" Ethan asked pointing at the needle in his arm.
"Of course it does Ethan. Don't be stupid, if I could swap places I would." Cal sighed.
"Yeah, you would. You wouldn't have to deal with the outfall. You'd just have to lie there and be looked after." Ethan rolled his eyes.
"I would swap so that it was me suffering! Not you!" Cal finally snapped. "Don't be all high and mighty with me Ethan because you've been where I am. I will cope in different ways to you and I will do it my way. You're my little brother, not my dad!"
Ethan stared at him. "Just go Cal."
"What no? I'm not leaving you in this state…" Cal shook his head.
"I said leave Caleb!" Ethan spoke firmly.
Not wanting to wind his brother up any more Cal did was he was told and left before heading down to the ED.
Once down in the ED, Cal headed straight for the staffroom putting the kettle on.
"I thought you were going to stay with Ethan? He's having chemo isn't he?" Lily spoke coming into the room after seeing Cal head in there.
"He told me to leave him." Cal informed her grumpily.
"What happened?" Lily asked.
Cal just shook his head.
"He shouldn't be on his own…" Lily sighed.
"You go up then." Cal turned to look at her.
"I can't. I'm on shift." Lily told him.
"What's going on?" Honey spoke as she entered the staffroom.
"Cal has left Ethan up there on his own, he is having his first round of chemo." Lily told her clearly annoyed at Cal.
"Well I could go up?" Honey suggested.
"Could you? I will come once I have finished here." Lily smiled at the young nurse which was rare.
"Of course." Honey smiled back and grabbed her bag before going up.
Lily took one last look at Cal and gave a tut shaking her head. "Call yourself a brother." She spoke before leaving and slamming the door.
Almost the same second the door slammed shut Cal launched his cup against the wall causing it to shatter loudly spilling hot coffee on the floor.
"Doctor Knight! Control yourself!" Connie spoke seeing him through the window she had come to the door and opened it quickly.
"Sorry. I'm sorry." Cal spoke realising what he had done and bent down to pick it up and carelessly managed to cut himself. "Damn it." He muttered as he quickly looked at his hand to see blood beginning to pour from his thumb.
"Be careful for god sake." Connie shook her head and pulled him over by the sink grabbing some paper towels and pressing it onto his hand. She looked at him shaking her head. "You need to pull yourself together."
"He is always on my back… telling me to grow up and take responsibility but when I do he is telling me to go and enjoy myself." Cal explained. "I can never win."
"Your brother is very unwell. He wants to make sure you don't get ill trying to be with him every waking minute." Connie told him.
"I've never been able to do right by him. I walked away from him when Mum got ill and now he thinks I can't deal with hi being ill." Cal sighed.
"He doesn't want you to walk away from him again Cal, that isn't hard to see." She spoke taking him to sit down. "A while back one of the doctors I worked with got very ill, with cancer. He is Grace's father actually. Anyway, he coped by pretending it wasn't happening and just acting like normal until one day he collapsed. He had an infection. He was fine in the end don't worry I'm not trying to scare you. All I am saying is that his way of coping was to treat patients. Ethan's way of coping is to look after you. The smallest bit of normality goes a long way."
"But Ethan looking after me shouldn't be normal…" Cal shook his head.
"Now isn't the time to try and change that." She told him. "Come on with me, you need a dressing on that hand."
Upstairs Honey had managed to find oncology and after asking a nurse located Ethan. She found him lay on his side propped up slightly with a sick bowl under his chin.
"Hey…" She spoke softly and went over to him swapping the used bowl for a fresh one before putting her hand on his back. "Just came to see how you were feeling."
"Very nauseas." Ethan managed before he found himself retching again.
"Yeah I've worked that out." Honey spoke whilst rubbing circles on his back until he was done. "Do you want some water?" she offered.
"Please." Ethan nodded and straightened himself up on the bed. "This is just after an hour…"
"It will help you in the long haul though." Honey smiled cheerfully and handed over a cup of water which caused Ethan to smiled even if he didn't want to.
"Thanks, Cal send you up?" He asked sipping the cold liquid.
"No, I said I would. Lily was telling him off and she said she couldn't come up so I said I'd keep you company." Honey smiled sitting down. "Ahw, you look aweful. Bless you."
"Yeah, thanks Honey. Cancer does that to you." Ethan shrugged.
"Oh I don't mean that in a bad way, obviously it's not good either but… you know what I mean don't you?" Honey confused herself.
"I'm not sure I do but thanks all the same." Ethan couldn't help but chuckle.
"It's good to see you with a smile on your face though." She winked.
"Thank you Honey." Ethan smiled and let his eyes close clearly exhausted.
Honey for once read the signed and sat in the chair pulling out a magazine and began to read while Ethan rested.
I'm telling you now, I will NOT be doing a Honey and Ethan pairing. I just thought that of the people left other than Cal and Lily, Honey would be the next likely to visit him. Thoughts? xx
