I'm still here I promise!


Blaine groaned as he collapsed face first into his bed on Wednesday afternoon. Ever since the three cheerleaders had joined glee club, they'd been working the whole club into an early grave. It was like having three Coach Sylvesters constantly telling them to push themselves harder while scrutinising every step they took. They were rude and ruthless and often forgot that the club was made up of humans who, incidentally, were limited to human capabilities.

The worst part though was that they were starting to look a whole lot better as a group and though he hated to admit it, it was obvious that it was because of the girls' input. Yet, due to their military-style leadership, glee club was far from gleeful.

Furthermore, Mr Schue had missed the last two rehearsals – something about Rachel offending his dance moves, Blaine wasn't really paying attention – and Rachel was growing more and more irritated with the new members. Blaine couldn't make his mind up as to whether it was because she felt entitled to leadership of the group or if it was because Finn just so happened to be dating one of the cheerleaders, Quinn. He suspected it was probably both.

The doorbell rang and Blaine groaned deeply into his pillow; he'd forgotten that Kurt was coming over for tutoring that day. With a considerable amount of effort, he managed to haul himself off the bed and stumbled downstairs.

Kurt looked a whole lot better than Blaine felt and Blaine was surprised by his sudden desire to just slam the door in his face and go take a nap.

But then that would be rude.

Disguising the fact that he felt like crap as best he could, Blaine reluctantly invited him inside before making his was back upstairs.

Kurt remained quiet until they made it to Blaine's bedroom. He took a seat on the bed before finally talking. "What I said on Monday," he said so quietly that it took Blaine a moment to realise that he was even talking at all, "I meant it. Really." Kurt was nervous, he realised.

"You mean…" Blaine trailed off uncertainly.

"I mean that I do care about you."

"But you care about your reputation more, obviously," Blaine countered. He was tired and not just from glee club, he was tired of everything, including Kurt and his endless mind games. Kurt's gaze didn't falter, his eyes suddenly hard and cold.

"I care about myself, of course. You could say that my reputation is an extension of that," Kurt said without breaking eye contact. "If it's selfish of me to just want to get through High School alive then fine."

"I never said that you were selfish," Blaine pointed out slowly, slightly weary after Kurt's outburst. Kurt paused as he contemplated Blaine's words before sighing heavily and hanging his head.

"I came here to apologise properly and all I'm doing is getting defensive," he said feebly. Blaine stayed standing, unsure what exactly to do in such a situation. Kurt looked up again slowly, his eyes meeting Blaine's again. It was then that he realised that he would never get over just how blue they were, like freshly polished gemstones, and the fact that his eyebrows were furrowed slightly in sorrow made it almost impossible to look away. "I am sorry that I treated you the way I did…and probably still do. And I'm sorry that I keep hurting you even though I'm trying so hard not to. I've…I've kind of built up these walls and I deflect pretty much everyone with sarcasm and cutting remarks and you…you just seem to…I don't know what it is about you but you just bypass those walls so easily and to be honest that scares me so much. I find myself caring about you and that scares me too."

"Kurt – "

"And I just want to be a good person but if I even acknowledge you at school then I know people will talk and I'm not strong enough to deal with it like you do. I don't want to be the person that I am but I've forgotten how to be anything else." Kurt let out a choked sob as he finished followed by a breath of relief. Blaine could see just how much better he must have felt after getting all of that off his chest. He found himself sitting next to Kurt on the bed, pulling him into a one armed and slightly awkward hug as if on auto-pilot.

"I'm sorry," Kurt murmured as he slung both of his arms around Blaine's neck. Blaine had no idea what to think. He still wanted to hate Kurt and to just extract him from his life but their threads were far too tangled to separate them by that point. Without thinking, Blaine turned to hug Kurt back, full on, with both arms. The longer they stayed, arms interlocked and just breathing in each other, the more Blaine begun to feel like he could definitely get used to this. All he wanted was to stay there and never leave. His heart pounded against his ribs so hard that he was sure Kurt could have probably felt it against his own chest. But it also somehow felt safe; it felt like home.

"You know," Blaine begun slowly, an idea suddenly forming in his mind, "Santana, Quinn and Brittany all joined glee club and they're all still head bitches as far as the rest of the school is concerned." Kurt tilted his head and pulled back slightly to get a better look at Blaine, his expression confused. "You could join too," he suggested, his tone lilted with cautious optimism.

"They're spying on you," Kurt said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"W-what…?" Blaine stuttered, taken aback by Kurt's deadpanned reply while processing the information.

"Coach Sylvester made them join so they could take your club down from the inside," he clarified though Blaine wasn't quite sure if he understood.

"But…why?"

"She hates you. Well, not you, but the club and Mr Schuester in particular."

"Okay," Blaine deliberated slowly, drawing the word out while he considered his original idea. "You could still join. In fact, this could be better. Tell Coach and the other Cheerios that you're spying too!"

"Blaine, what makes you think I even want to join glee club?" Kurt countered with a playful smile. It wasn't mocking, and Blaine can't help the spread of his grin at the ease they suddenly had with each other.

"Because then you could acknowledge me at school without people talking," Blaine said, repeating Kurt's worries from before.

"Blaine – "

"Please?" The more he turned the idea over in his mind, the more Blaine realised just how much he wanted Kurt to join, to share this thing with him. Kurt looked torn, mouth opening and closing as he tried to form a reply before relenting with a sigh.

"Okay," he agrees with a fragile smile before sucking in a heavy breath. "Okay," he repeats, as if mentally preparing himself.

Blaine's arm was still wrapped loosely around Kurt's shoulder, so he pulled him into one last quick embrace just to say thank you before pulling away swiftly and rising to his feet.

"We should probably start studying," he suggested while pulling out the chair from under his desk. Kurt sniffled softly and nodded, taking the spare seat besides Blaine.

"Thank you," he whispered softly. "Even after all the crap I make you put up with, you're still the nicest anyone has ever been to me. I still haven't made up my mind as to whether that makes you a genuinely nice guy or just an idiot."

"Probably a little of both," Blaine said with a laugh but before he had a chance to elaborate, Kurt leaned forward and a pair of soft, slightly damp lips pressed firmly against his cheek. They were gone an instant after and Blaine turned his head to see Kurt smiling contently. Blaine pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose as he blushed and ducked his head while Kurt unloaded his books onto the desk as if nothing had happened.

What did just happen? Kurt kissed him on the cheek, that was simple enough but why had Blaine gotten so flustered? He realised then that that was the first kiss between them that Kurt had initiated while sober. Even if it was just a peck on the cheek, Blaine can't contain his jubilation.

They had finally begun studying shortly after that, though it was less studying and more Kurt doing his homework while Blaine checked over his answers. They were almost all correct and Blaine felt a swell of pride in his chest. It wasn't as though Kurt didn't understand the topics – in fact he was far more intelligent than Blaine had ever given him credit for – he just never bothered to listen in class. Blaine had to wonder whether this was through his own doing or if it had anything to do with the peer pressure he had to deal with.

Kurt finished the last question of his chemistry homework with a satisfied smile and, after Blaine checked it over, put the books back into his messenger bag.

"Is it okay if I stay to do some other homework?" Kurt asked, eyes wide and trusting, "I hardly have any time as it is to get this stuff done and if I'm going to be joining glee as well then that just divides my time up even more."

"Absolutely, that'd be fine!" Blaine replied enthusiastically. His mind reeling from the fact that Kurt was seriously going to join glee club. Kurt smiled as he pulled out some more books and hastily got to work. Blaine – having no homework left to do – decided to read through some chapters in his text book. They worked mostly in silence, only interrupted by an occasional question from Kurt, asking for clarification on something. Nevertheless, the silence was comfortable, as of they'd been doing this after school for years.

There was one thing nagging at Blaine, however. They had finally settled their differences and come to some sort of mutual standing point where they no longer had to argue over trivial things every time they conversed, but where they friends? Were they more than friends? Less? Blaine wanted to bring it up, but he didn't want to be faced with an answer like last time. Sure, things had changed since then but was it enough? He understood why Kurt was the way he was. He wanted to be mad at him for not wanting people to know that he associates with someone like Blaine but he just couldn't. He knew Kurt's reason and he knew that it made sense despite the fact that it did hurt.

He just needed to be grateful for what he did have with Kurt. It might not be labelled as one thing or another but their relationship was still something at least.


It came as no surprise to Blaine when Kurt didn't say a word to him during school the following day. Instead, there were brief moments of eye contact and fleeting looks that, to those unknowing, were undetectable. It was almost exciting in a way: to have this secret that no one could know about. It felt like he was the only one who was truly allowed to know the real Kurt.

Glee club rehearsals were to be held at lunch that day. Blaine finally allowed himself to get excited as he made his way over to the choir room, hoping with his entire being that Kurt would turn up. Most of the club were already seated when Blaine arrived though he took note of the fact that Quinn, Santana and Brittany hadn't arrived yet. Mr Schue had also failed to turn up yet again, leaving Blaine to wonder if he was even interested in being their club director anymore.

Blaine took a seat next to Mercedes in the front row though he didn't participate in the conversation she was having with Tina. Instead, he kept his eyes focused on the door, willing his heart to stop beating so fast. He had no idea why he even cared so much but he did. He wanted Kurt to walk through that door and every moment that he didn't was agonising.

The familiar red, white and black of the McKinley High cheerleading uniform caught Blaine's attention faster than he would care to admit when the three girls finally entered the room. Blaine's eyes stayed trained on the door and there was no way he could suppress his grin the moment Kurt stepped into the room after them.

He was nervous, Blaine could tell, but Kurt wasn't about to let a roomful of people know that. He held himself confidently and maintained a bored looking expression. Blaine offered and encouraging smile and Kurt blinked in his general direction, which Blaine guessed meant he acknowledged it.

"Kurt's joining the club," Quinn said by way of explanation when people began questioning his presence.

"He can't just join, he needs to audition," Rachel challenged, rising from her seat.

"We're the closest thing to an actual, experienced director this club as ever had right now and we already know how well a performer Kurt is. Be grateful we're not kicking any of you out." Santana countered. The four cheerleaders stood menacingly at the front of the class and Mercedes groaned beside him.

"What's wrong?" He asked quietly.

"They are," she said incredulously.

"Kurt's not so bad…" Blaine replied, almost too defensively as Mercedes eyed him suspiciously. "I mean he hasn't actually done anything yet so…" Mercedes sighed.

"They're up to something, I know it. Why else would they all suddenly be so interested?"

Blaine couldn't help but feel guilty because they were up to something. Kurt had told him that they were trying to bring their club down but there was nothing he could do about it. If he told the others what Coach Sylvester and the girls were doing then he'd have to explain how he knew and that would only make Kurt go right back to hating him again. He sat quietly, making a mental note to keep an eye on them and to intervene as soon as things started to get out of hand.

Santana, Brittany and Kurt all took a seat at the back of the room, the rest of the club reluctant about having a new addition but no one saying anything further on the subject.

"Now since Mr Schue is evidently no longer interested in directing this club," Quinn stated, followed by a pointed look in Rachel's direction, "We've already talked to Dakota Stanley, Vocal Adrenaline's choreographer, and he's agreed to help us out. All we need to do is raise the money to pay him so this Saturday, we're going to hold a car wash and everyone has to pitch in." The whole club groaned as Quinn finished her announcement. Blaine used the opportunity to sneak a quick glance behind him at Kurt. A ghost of a smile flit across his face the moment their eyes met and Blaine turned back to the front. It wasn't much, but it was enough.