Chapter 9 - The Last Day of Freedom
Wheeler groaned. His mouth felt dry and his head was throbbing.
"Good morning Yankee." A familiar voice said from very close by.
The American groaned again "Not so loud."
Linka chuckled. "You have a hangover."
"Don't be daft, you know I don't drink Babe." Wheeler croaked. "I must be coming down with something."
"Da, a hangover. Mishka said Ivan was giving you vodka." She told him. "Can you move please I am being squashed."
"Mishka? Ivan?" he groaned again as he rolled off her. "Oh the party! He did? I don't remember that… in fact, I don't remember getting back. I hope I didn't make too much of an idiot of myself?"
"Nyet, I think Grandmuska enjoyed the strip tease, she said you had a very nice body." Linka said with a straight face. "I think Nina was a bit embarrassed when you started dancing though."
"Very funny." Wheeler told her. "No way I did any of that!" But his eyes showed that he wasn't sure.
Linka shrugged, having terrible trouble keeping a straight face. "If you say so."
"Can I ask you something?" Wheeler asked as his senses began to return.
"Da." She smiled at him
The American smiled back and said, "Why are sleeping in your clothes with your blouse undone?"
"You ripped it open and then fell asleep on top of me." Linka replied conversationally.
Wheelers face paled and he sat up too quickly so that his brain felt like it banged against the sides of his skull. "Oh God Babe, I'm so sorry! Did I hurt you?"
"Nyet." Linka said soothingly, rolling onto her side and rubbing his arm. "You could not undo the buttons and got impatient."
Wheelers eyes opened wide and he stared at her. "Run that past me again?"
The Russian laughed and batted her eyelashes at him, "You really do not remember?"
Ever quick to catch on, Wheeler slid back down the bed and tucked an arm around her, pulling her towards him. "Remind me?"
Linka chuckled and shook her head but didn't pull away. "You promised me a new blouse by the way."
"I thought you weren't going to ask me for things?" he grinned.
Linka gave him a saucy look, "Oh I think it is okay for me to ask you to replace the clothes you rip off."
"Cool, can I rip off a few more then?" he leant closer.
"Nyet." She told him laughing. "Behave yourself."
Wheeler grinned but his eyes were troubled. "I really didn't do anything… violent or anything did I?"
Knowing that his concern stemmed from his fathers drunken behaviour she made haste to reassure him. "You are not violent Lyubov moya and I know you would never do anything to hurt me. You were like a sulky child but I did not feel threatened, in fact it was quite adorable."
The young man relaxed and kissed her forehead. Then after a moment. "I must have been adorable if you were letting me undress you…?"
"Da, too bad you do not remember." She said cheekily, disentangling herself and getting up. Then she took off the remains of her blouse and put her dressing gown on. Pausing and turning back as she reached the door, she asked curiously, "Wheeler… are you really a virgin?"
"I told you that?!!" he exclaimed in alarm.
She nodded. "Then it is true?"
Looking slightly horrified at the prospect of answering her, especially since he didn't want to lie, "Does it really matter?"
"Nyet, I always thought you were not so it does not make a difference… I just want to know the truth." The beautiful girl told him.
Wheeler rolled his eyes and then laughed with a shrug. "I don't have any secrets from you. It's true." Then he added quickly. "But I've still done way more than you!"
"I am not sure that is something you should be proud of." Linka pulled a face.
"Yeah well anyway… Tell anyone and I'll deny it." Then he winked.
The Russian giggled. "Your secret is safe with me Yankee." She told him before leaving to get washed.
At breakfast, Grandmuska had put Wheeler's mind at ease by telling him that she had not heard him come in. He looked at Linka and said, "I knew you were lying." Causing her to fall into a fit of giggles. After that, the Russian planeteer headed over to her friends house to help with the wedding preparations, leaving Wheeler to amuse himself around the house.
Not knowing what to do, the American asked Linka's grandmother if there was anything she needed help with. The old woman appreciated both the help and the company and the day went by quickly.
Linka returned at dinnertime with the news that since Mishka would be spending the night at Ivan's house, Nina was staying Ilyanna.
Wheeler - who had risen at her entrance to give her a hug and a kiss on her temple - asked, "Didn't you want to stay too Babe?"
The Russian shook her head as she returned his embrace. "I will go back in the morning to help them get ready but they do not need me there tonight." The truth was that though the young girl had wanted to stay with her friends, she didn't want to be apart from Wheeler while things were unsettled between them, especially when they were getting on so well.
"He has been an angel Linka, I would not have gotten so much done without him." Her grandmother told her, making Linka smile.
"He has his uses." She agreed, still nestling against him, and received a kiss in her hair.
They spent a cosy evening in front of the television. Grandmuska chatting amiably with them from the comfort of her armchair, and Linka curled up against Wheeler on the settee, his arm holding her in place. The wind planeteer was more relaxed than she had ever been and it showed. No longer feeling like she was on display, Linka was both affectionate and playful towards her American companion and her Grandmother caught the two friends gazing lovingly at each other on several occasions.
When it was time for bed, Linka got ready first and sat reading until Wheeler joined her, and then chatted happily with him as he sorted out his clothes and turned out the light.
The fire planeteer got into bed beside his fair friend and regarded her in the pale light streaming through the window.
"What?" She asked dubiously as she saw the look in his eyes.
Wheeler grinned. "Two nights ago you were worried about sharing a room with me and now it's like we've really been together for years."
"Is that good or bad?" she asked with a slight chuckle.
"It's great!" He held out his arms for her to cuddle into and they settled down to sleep.
After a while Wheeler said, "Lin…"
"Mmmm?" She replied sleepily.
There was a pause as if he were considering his words and then, "Yesterday, when I said about having a normal life and starting a family, you looked… I don't know, not happy I guess. Was that just because we were pretending to be together, or… do you really not like the idea?"
Linka snuggled closer. "It is not that. You said you were not sure if it would be possible for us to have a family and I think you are right. I cannot see how Gi and I can safely have children and remain planeteers… you and the other boys could have families though, if you do not wait for me…" It wasn't a question but her words hung in the air, waiting for some sort of response.
Wheeler was stunned, despite his earlier assertion, he'd never really thought about what having children would mean for the girls and how much harder it would be if he and Linka wanted them together. Gi at least would have a partner to look after them after she had recovered, but with both of them as planeteers... After a moment he said, "Having children is an extension to a relationship Babe, not the reason for it. I'd rather never have kids than have them with someone I don't love."
"I was not suggesting that you should." She defended.
"Yes you were." He told her in his no nonsense voice, making a smile spread across her face, but his next words wiped it away again as his own insecurities kicked in. "But I guess the same goes for you. I mean you'd have a much better chance of a normal life without me for a partner, so maybe you really should think carefully before you give me an answer when we get home."
Linka didn't say anything so he added, "I mean I want you to be with me more than anything, but I don't want you to feel obligated to be with me. The last thing I want is to make you unhappy..."
His words seemed to create a chasm between them in the awful silence that followed.
The wind planeteer was too hurt by his apparent change of heart, to hear what he was really saying. "I will think about it." Linka said quietly, before turning over so that her back was to him.
Taking her response to mean that it did make a difference to her, Wheeler gently retrieved his arm and turned away, so that they lay back-to-back with a narrow gap between them, unable to get farther away from each other in the small bed.
When Wheeler awoke on the morning of the wedding, Linka was already gone.
The American dragged himself out of bed, feeling far worse than he had with the hangover. Neither a shower nor breakfast made him feel any better and Grandmuska had to ask him three times when he was going to get ready, before he heard her. "I'm not going, Lin doesn't need me there, it'd just be too awkward."
"You have had an argument." The old woman said knowingly. "But trust me Wheeler, it will be a lot harder to make up with Linka if you do not go, she will be very angry."
The young man shook his head and stirred his half eaten porridge in its bowl.
Grandmuska sighed. "What did you fight about?"
"We didn't fight, she just doesn't want to be with me… I can't fool myself any longer and I can't let her settle for me just because the guys round here have got her convinced there's something wrong with her." The fire planeteer said, still staring through his breakfast.
Grandmuska frowned, she didn't want to believe him but there was a possibility that he was right and she didn't want to raise false hopes if Linka had decided that their relationship was wrong.
After a few minutes he said. "I think it'd be better if I went home. I'll go pack, Gi can come back for Lin when she's ready to leave." He rose and headed for the bedroom, while his 'girlfriends' grandmother headed for the phone.
Linka had been quiet and thoughtful since she arrived at Ilyanna's house, but the girls had been unsuccessful in getting her to talk while she helped them with their hair and make-up. Finally her old friend had had enough. "Okay so you and Wheeler had a fight, maybe you should go home and make up with him and then come back?"
Surprised, a blushing Linka stammered out half a response until she realised they weren't impressed. Looking down, the wind planeteer said quietly. "There is no point in going home." And even Linka wondered if she was just talking about the house she grew up in.
"Did he shout at you?" Nina asked. "Mishka does not shout often but when he does it makes my heart feel like it is shrinking."
Linka shook her head. "We shout all the time, that does not mean anything. He was serious, which with Wheeler is far more disturbing."
Ilyanna moved to sit next to her on the window seat. "So what did he say?"
"That he thought that I would be happier without him." Linka struggled to keep her voice steady and her eyes dry. "He said he still wanted to be with me, but that I should not feel obligated to stay with him and why would he say that if he did not want me to let him go? I guess he realised I am not worth the effort."
Both her friends immediately disclaimed at Linka's statement but she shook her head, shaking them off and forcing her feelings aside. "You should not worry about me, I will be fine. Ilyanna it is your wedding day, you should be thinking of Ivan."
Before Ilyanna and Nina could protest again, the formers mother entered. "Linka, your Grandmother is on the telephone, I will help here now."
The planeteer thanked her and headed downstairs, her stomach doing summersaults at the possibilities. "Da Babushka?"
Grandmuska smiled, thinking that her grand daughter must be very distracted if she was calling her grandmother, rather than her usual term of endearment. "Wheeler is miserable, he does not think you want him at the wedding."
"He is welcome to attend the wedding." Linka replied, keeping as much feeling out of her voice as possible while the ache in her chest grew worse.
"I see." The old woman sighed. "I had hoped he was wrong, but perhaps it would be better if he went home after all."
"He is leaving?" Linka said so faintly, her grandmother only just picked up words.
The old woman's smile returned. "Da and I think it for the best, he does not deserve to feel like he is not good enough."
"What?" Linka gasped, the receiver trembling in her hand. "I never said that!"
"He said that you would settle for him…" Grandmuska prodded, sure that her young relatives temper would be ignited.
She was right. "Put him on." Linka exclaimed indignantly.
Wheeler came to the phone reluctantly, but he wasn't prepared for the tirade that awaited him. "Hey."
"How dare you say that I would settle for you? Or for anyone?" She began, trying to keep her voice below the level where it would carry to her friends in the bedroom upstairs. "I have been asked out by everyone from farmers to princes. I could be with anyone I chose but I refuse to be with someone I do not care for. I wanted this to work, I cannot help it if the only guy that I have ever actually thought of that way acts like an idiot half the time, jealous and possessive one minute and insisting that he is not good enough for me the next..."
The silence when she stopped was deafening and stretched on too long, making Linka think for a moment that he had gone, but then he spoke and there was a smile in his voice. "I love you too."
The Russian planeteer laughed, more with relief than amusement. "Does this mean you are staying?"
"Yeah." He told her, then. "Our first argument, huh?"
She did laugh with amusement then, "Hardly."
"Okay, our first argument as a couple." Wheeler corrected himself.
"Not quite." she told him quietly.
Wheeler sighed, "We're perfect for each other, can't you see that?"
"Da, that is why you were going to leave!" Linka exclaimed.
The American tried to explain. "I was going to go home because I thought you didn't feel the way I do and I couldn't deal with it. Trouble is Babe I'm never going to be okay with it whether you tell me now or when we go home."
Feeling much better for his reassurances, Linka perched on the telephone table and cradled the phone against her ear. "The question was never how I felt, but whether we could make it work together, and I am still not convinced of that. If Grandmuska hadn't called me, you would have left..."
"And spent the rest of my life between being miserable and trying to get you to forgive me." He said quickly and sincerely, then pleaded. "Lin just give us a chance, for real? Please?"
"You have been waiting all this time, cannot you wait a few more days?" Linka asked. "To make me happy?"
Again Wheeler sighed. "I don't get why it makes a difference... But I will wait as long as you need me too."
"Spasiba." She said affectionately. "I will see you soon."
"Okay." And she knew he was smiling again.
There was silence, then the Russian said. "Be a gentleman and hang up first."
Wheeler laughed, "Ladies first Babe."
Linka pulled a face, though he couldn't see. "Do not be late." She hung up and headed back upstairs, her face glowing with happiness.
