After lunch Mason, Eddie and I decided to go back out into the snow but wouldn't be skiing this time. It took some convincing but we managed to persuade Lissa and Christian to come with us. It was still pitch black but the lights above us made it almost seem like day. Mason suggested we all make a snowman. We all agreed and the boys went off to go make the body while Lissa and I wondered around to find the decorations.

"How is your magic going?" I asked quietly.

"Its still on lock because of those pills but I can feel it and I have this constant urge to use it," she said.

"But you still can't right?" I asked just making sure.

"No I can't," she responded.

"You do know it was for your own good?" I asked hoping she didn't secretly hate me for what happened.

"Yeah, you were right. I was out of control. I just had so much anger and I couldn't stop thinking about how much I hated how my life was going and that almost brought me to… to," she hesitated.

"To cutting," I finished. She nodded and looked down looking guilty. "Have you ever done it before?" I asked.

"No. I was never like that. The only reason I was going to in the first place is because of the anger and the darkness growing inside me. If you didn't stop me I don't know what I would have done so thank you," she said. I remember the day perfectly. It was just after a shopping trip where we bought dresses for some dance at the school. Lissa had come back fine but she met with Christian and they had a fight. I was at training with Dimitri at the time but was pulled into her head just as she brought out the blade. I ran to her room and snatched the blade out before she could break the skin. She thrashed at me to get it back. Dimitri had followed me and held her back until she grew week and passed out. I immediately reported it to the nurse, which had made Lissa hate me. She ignored me and for a time I never thought she would forgive me. She did as soon as the issue with Victor was over and agreed to go on medication that would lock her magic until she was stable.

"I'm sorry I reported it. I should have just talked to you and let you work it out for yourself," I said.

"No, you were right. I needed help and the only way I could get that help is from an adult. Honestly, you did the right thing. I was just too stubborn to see it," she said and hugged me.

"Lissa you could never be as stubborn as me," I said and hugged her back. We walked back with sticks, pinecones, and seeds in our hands for the snowmen, but when we got back there was no snowman. There were only footprints on the snow. I started to panic. What happened? Where were the others? I stood protectively in front of Lissa dropping all the decorations. I heard a branch crack and just turned my head when we were attached. A snowball hit my face. Hard. I coughed the snow out of my throat and plunked away the water in my eyes. Laughing roared from the bush beside us. I smirked and walked over to the bush and shook the tree beside it, causing a blanked of fresh snowfall on top of it. Mason and Eddie shot up out of the bush and shook the snow off them.

"That's revenge," I said crossing my arms across my chest.

"Oh come on Rose. Admit that you had fun. Not everything has to be so serious," said Mason.

"Where's Christian?" asked Lissa. Eddie, who had just finished shaking off the last of the snow, walked over to Lissa.

"He went back to the lodge. He asked us to tell you he will be meeting with his aunt. You can go join him if you want."

"Sure. I will leave you guys alone then. Eddie, do you want to come?" she asked. I knew what she was doing. She was trying to get me and Mason together alone.

"No, I'm good here. I haven't spent much time with Rose. I need to check out her skills," he said and winked at me.

"Okay well, you guys have fun. I'll see you later," she said and she walked off.

For the next hour, we had a snowball fight. I was hit a few too many times in the face but got back at them both every time. We walked back to the lodge after a while. Eddie ran ahead saying he had to go meet with a friend and help him out with his girl friend. They were going through a rough patch apparently. Mason and I walked alone. We talked like friends do nothing about this felt like a date. Until I slipped on an icy part and fell over and he slipped, trying the help me, and landed on top of me. We both laughed and he looked into my eyes. He was lying on top of me pinning me to the ground and after a while, he stopped laughing and leaned in and kissed me. It was a soft kiss, gentle and sweet; my eyes were open with surprise. He had kissed me. I didn't know what to do. I promised Lissa I would try but I couldn't forget Dimitri. God this was nothing like the way Dimitri kissed me. His kisses made my soul come alive. Made my skin tingle where he touched me. Made a fire blaze within my heart and made me feel alive. Truly alive. With him, I felt the best feeling I could ever imagine and yet we could never be together. Mason pulled away and looked disappointed like he had read the wrong signal, which maybe he did. It didn't matter now. With one last thought of Dimitri and the love I had for him, I pushed all thoughts of him away into the bottom of my heart where they would have to stay, and I reached up bringing Mason back to me and his lips back onto mine. It wasn't the same but it was nice and I would try. Maybe I could be happy even if it wasn't with Dimitri. I would always love him in one way but that didn't mean I couldn't learn to love another. We walked back hand in hand and I made my way to my room to get changed for dinner.

Dinner was nice. Mason and I had left the kiss a secret from the others for now. After dinner, we had all made our way to the lounge where we could all hang out together but then we ran into someone coming down the hall.

"Tasha what's wrong?" asked Christian reading the worried expression on her face.

"There has been another Strigoi attack," she said.

"Wait What? Where?" I shouted frantically.

"A Drozdovs house was attacked by Strigoi. There were more strigoi than the last time. No survivors," said Tasha. "Everyone's meeting now in the hall to discuss what to do."

"I have to find my mom," I said and bolted out toward the hall before anyone could protest.

The hall was buzzing with people. Their faces were frozen with fear. I spotted my mom with Dimitri talking to Alberta and Kirova. I ran up to them and waited for them to finish before I bombarded them with questions.

"Mom," I said and she turned around to face me.

"Rose," she said as she saw me. I pulled her into a hug. She still wasn't the loving motherly type and wasn't used to showing affection but she did hug me back.

"What happened? I heard about the strigoi attack but I need to know details," I said.

"Rose, this is classified information. I don't think I should be telling you," she said releasing me from the hug.

"She has a right to know. She was there the day we discovered the Badica attack. She knows more than any one else and she knows about the humans helping the strigoi," said Dimitri coming to my rescue again. My mother looked at him and then turned back to me and nodded. She told me everything about the attack. Like Tasha said, there were no survivors.

"So humans did help?" I asked. My mother nodded.

"Yes, more broken wards. This attack was almost identical to the Badica attack only bigger and more deaths," she said and I nodded.

"Can I see the list?" I asked. Dimitri nodded and handed me a clipboard with a list of names. On the list were the family itself, the guardians and the staff working in their home. I knew none of them, but how would I? As I was reaching the end one name did stick out to me. Rinaldi. That name sounded so familiar.

"Dimitri," I whispered looking up at him. I handed him the clipboard and pointed to the name. "Who is this?" I asked.

"She was one of the Drozdovs maids. Julia Rinaldi. She is Mia's mother," he said. My heart fell.

"Oh no," I said and again I bolted out to find Mia.

It took me a while but eventually, I found her hanging in the corner by an indoor water feature, curled up into a ball, sobbing into her knees. I walked over to her and she looked up and groaned.

"What are you doing here?" she spat out like poison aiming to hit me. "Have you come here to gloat?" she asked sounding wounded.

"I have come here to try to help," I said and sat down beside her. She turned away from me.

"Like you would want to help me," she laughed out.

"Look, Mia, I know we have had our problems but honestly I wouldn't wish this on you. This is the worst thing that could ever happen to a person. I just want to try to… I don't know. Try to make it better even though I can't," I said and she turned to face me. Her eyes were red and bloodshot. Her doll like face was red and splotchy and had tear stains decorating her cheeks like spider webs.

"You can't help me. And, you shouldn't want to. You hate me. And I hate you," she said and turned away again.

"Come on Mia. This isn't hate. This is regular teenage girl bitchiness. Everyone grows out of it. One day we will probably be best friends. Maybe that could be tomorrow if you just open up to me," I said gently.

"You wouldn't understand," she said still refusing to look at me.

"I understand more than you know," I said. "I haven't lost my mother true, but I have gone from having a nice family to having no family to only having my mom. For a while I felt alone."

"It's not the same," she sobbed.

"True. But I still had someone who was a mother to me and I lost her. I lost the only person I thought was my family to discover that a complete stranger was my real mom. Even though my adoptive mother lied to me and kept what I really was a secret, she still raised me and cared for me. I only met my real mother a few months ago and only recently has she been able to hug me without pushing me away."

"How did you deal with losing your adoptive mother?" asked Mia, with her back still to me.

"I didn't lose her exactly," I started. "I haven't told anyone this but after Dim- Guardian Belikov had told me he thought I was really a dhampir, I had called up my mother so she could come and tell me the truth. When she came she told me everything but before anything else could happen the alchemists kicked down my door and took me away. My mother betrayed me. And that was the last time I ever saw her, or ever will."

"So what happened after that?" she asked. It was a hard story that I didn't like to repeat but I liked that I had taken her mind off her mother even if it was for only a little while.

"I was taken to court and locked in a jail cell. A trail was set up and eventually, it was agreed that I would get the chance to become a guardian and if I didn't the alchemists could take me away to be locked away. They don't like when things don't go their way. If it were said that a dhampir was an alchemist they would believe that I had corrupted everyone. If I could prove that I could be a guardian and live life as a regular dhampir then they couldn't touch me. If I failed they would lock me away from any other Alchemist so I could never corrupt anyone else again," I said.

"That sounds tough," said Mia but something about the way she said it told me she didn't care about my life story right now.

"So are you finally going to open up to me?" I asked. She sighed and turned around to face me.

"All my life I have lived below the Royals. I had no royal blood I was just a regular Moroi. My mother had done everything to make me look up to standard of the Royals. I had joined their group and had power. I had everything she wanted for me and yet I couldn't stop. When you came and you and Lissa became friends and started gaining popularity I felt threatened. I couldn't let my place be take away so that's why I was so mean to you both. I just wanted to keep my place at the top and make my mother proud and yet everything I did was something that would make her so disappointed in me," she explained and I listened with an open mind. "She was the only one that was always there for me. She worked hard shifts to pay for my school and the fake designer clothes that kept me at the top. She was my best friend and I told her everything, even the hard parts. She understood me and forgave me every time. Now she's gone and I feel so broken. I feel like a part of me is missing and I don't know how to replace it," she said.

"You can't," I said. "She was your mother. There will never be anyone like her to you. Do you have a father or siblings?"

"Yeah my dad works at court," she said.

"You could go to him. Being with family might help," I said but she shook her head.

"No. I called him; he said he doesn't want me there until after the strigoi situation has been fixed. It's too dangerous," she said.

"That does sound reasonable," I said.

"I know," she said. "I just need to be with people who will understand, you now?" I nodded.

"Then stay with me or talk to Lissa. She doesn't hate you, she never did and she has been through the exact same thing. She has lost her whole family and she is better now," I said.

"Yeah because she had you," she started. "Even if she had slot her family she was never alone. She had you and you are bonded. You will always understand what she is feeling and how to help. I don't have any friends."

"Yes, you do. You have me and Lissa and our small group. We are not much but I promise we will all be there for you," I said. She looked me in the eyes as if checking to make sure what I was saying was true. A moment later she flung herself at me, wrapped her small arms around my frame, and sobbed into my chest. I hesitated for a moment before I hugged her back and stroked her hair.

She really was a nice person hidden behind her own insecurity. She has been through so much and all I want for her is to feel safe and feel like she is not alone. No one deserves to be alone.