I bore through the pages of what I'd come to do with my life, ripping out what pages has no meaning; an artist with his works. I was resolute to do only somewhat better, however miniscule it was in hindsight. I sought out a reason, a meaning for the life I was given. Seldom had I thought about it, only seeming to be a bother then. For what reason had I been given the right to soar, while others merely watched from the earth below?
I made up my mind on one thing, I was going to walk in the darkness and stare into its abyss. If what was reflected resembled a monster, I would slay it, if it shown a changed being I would walk with conviction. The latter basically inconceivable, for I bore no will to change. I was going to the District Seven hospital, I was going to see her. The girl with which has no spirit.
Though the incident had died out of public view, there were still many at this hospital that bore a grudge against myself. I felt overwrought at the eyes glued on my presence. "Uh… may I visit um… Yuno Akatsuki?" The words came out in ridicule, butchered by my anxiety. The looks of contempt I received were deserved, and surely more than anticipated. The receptionist motioned down the hall to the elevator. The nervousness I felt burned its way deep in my core. Recalling the words of my friends from earlier in the day.
"It's just something… something I have to do on my own, whatever the consequence." I had discussed the subject long and tirelessly with the both of them. Mina contented my actions,"But!" She had been strongly against the idea from the beginning, saying I did not need to do it. Sato held his arm in front of her, "We understand, we believe in you."
I approached the door, choking down a lead bullet as I made my way towards the door. I knocked twice lightly, closing my eyes tight. A petite voice answered,"Come in." The door slightly ajar, I stepped into the room. Feeling alienated within an instant. Her eyes in a soulless resonance with my presence, not taking them away for a second.
The girl was my age, probably sixteen, she was small overall, had medium length amber hair, and wore glasses. Thinking of what I'd done to such an innocent person was enough to make me want to purge my insides out. I could not bare the sight of death on someone once so pure. It haunted my core, the etching still engraved on my heart. "What are you doing here?" Her question knives in my being. Why are you here? Why are you here? WHY ARE YOU HERE?
"I… I want… to make this right…" The words felt selfish, irresolute. "I know I have no right… I don't deserve to be where I am today when you've been in this condition for all these years…"
I had taken away her ability, shattered her spine in seven places, and caused incomprehensible damage to her capacity to think. Nothing I could have ever said or done would be enough to give way to forgiveness on her part. Before I came into her life, she was able to glide across the surface of any material. It was beautiful to watch, thinking back on it. Though at the time I cared not about it.
She remained silent, watching me, as I plead my soul bare. "I know you could never forgive the things I've done, and I don't blame you. I was selfish, willing to hurt others to get what I wanted." I wasn't sure what to say, more and more I felt ridiculous with each breath. I felt my face grow bright and hot, and I wanted to leave.
I turned to exit the room in defeat, interrupted mid-step, "You don't ask for forgiveness, so what did you want to gain from coming here?" "I wasn't even sure," I let the words ease out, "I just felt, deep down I could never begin to forgive myself if I didn't come to see you."
Her eyes soften a slight amount. "I forgive you," my heart nearly stopped, "I know what you did was never an act of malice, but a desire for power. I was just an obstacle, a means to an end as it were."
I was absolutely unnerved, "Wh-what did you say?" She left out a soft sigh, "I forgive you, you were wrong then, but I feel holding a grudge is pointless. I accepted the fate I was brought to live in, disheartening as it was. It's been a long time since it happened. I only knew one thing was true, I would not forgive you if you did not want to forgive yourself."
I felt hot tears stem down my red cheeks, quickly wiping them away. "Go ahead, let it out, tears are proof that you still have enough love for the world to shed them."
Time had passed after that, slowly giving way to ease on my heart. I was there for what seemed like a few hours. We talked about our lives, how much we've changed over the years, and what we aimed to do in the future.
"I just lack a conviction that drives me, I feel like I don't know why I'm here, what reason I have to live." "If you ask me, I don't think it should be why you live, more of, what you live for. What you do with the gifts you've been given. As long as you do that I will accept your way of life, well that and, not doing evil." We laughed and smiled, the first real smile I've had in such a very long time.
The weather was beginning to look of heavy precipitation, and a squall following. Down the hall I could hear a vaguely familiar voice humming a tune I thought I recalled. "Yuuuuuuuno! How are you do-" the voice cut off upon vision inside the room. A bouquet of flowers thrown down and the voice was furious.
"I knew someday the time would arrive, but I never expected here, of all places!" I turn to see whom the anger belonged to and had been thrown outside the room with violent force by a hooded person. "You have no right to be here, Aru Valentine!"
