Author's Note: OH MY GOD! I'm watching and typing at the same freaking time and…and…Auggie's doing the REPORTER chick? Duudde! I thought she and Arthur would have a thang but apparently… Oh, my fuckin' god! I…I… I...I'm speechless with shock and I'm also fangirling it up because that man…that man is sex on a stick covered with honey and bacon with a sweet ass apartment. And now his ex is in the game? Oh my wow. I love this show! I really do but…damn.

Um, yeah. So, I'm going to type the next chapter while I'm watching. Yes, that's exactly what I'm gonna do. I…wow. Duudde… the episode was awesome. It just got done and it's my favorite so far. It's definitely going to be played over and over again on my OnDemand. Jesus, that man, that wild sexy man… but he's not with Annie and well, this chapter will make up for that…

He's not the leak, he's plugging the leak! *insert Quagmire leer here* I'm sorry! I had to go there! I'm sorry! Just read! Oh my God…

Disclaimer: "Honestly, it's not mine!"

"So, you guys ain't married for reals? Coulda fooled the shit outta me. You guys…you're like my ma and dad, only younger, cooler, and you get to shoot people."

Annie couldn't help but laugh and Carmine gave her a shaky smile as he put his suitcase on the couch. He still looked like a Guido but a softer one, a reformed one. He had on dress pants instead of Bermuda shorts, a button down instead of a skintight tank, and no gel in his hair. He still had the shades, a faux tan and the unfortunate techno music addiction. He was sweet, though. And very willing to help them out. That was what mattered.

"We just started dating yesterday but we've been best friends for like 8 months."

"That's how ya do it. You gonna hook up, do it with your best friend because they already know how fucked in the head ya are." Carmine praised with an approving nod.

"Damn right." Auggie agreed as he plopped down onto the love seat next to her. "We're good. Here's your secure phone. You need us, you use that. Don't lose it. Sleep with it if you have to."

"Got it, man. A'ight Annie, lemme get it right. You're Princess, he's William, y'all are newlywedding it up on the Shore. I'm supposed to be your ambassador to where the party at, "accidentally" makin' it known that I'm back in action to my fam and the fuckers they've hired to end me. After they do that, y'all and this Wilcox dude that's joinin' the game later on is gonna bust 'em, take down the Company, and I'll live happily ever after in witness protection without bowling ball holes in my head."

"That's the game plan but sometimes…well, when Annie and I work together, things tend to go left a little. You're not going to die. You won't. We're not letting that happen but…"Auggie trailed off, trying to phrase their "Lucy and Ethel" mayhem in a way that wouldn't scare him.

Carmine had more balls than the average informant. The straight up truth would do.

"You're probably going to have to run for your life, get your ass kicked, jump out of a moving vehicle, kiss and/or fuck strangers and piss off the local pigs while waiting for bail and bleeding all in the name of domestic and international tranquility." Annie finished bluntly. "Sorry."

Auggie did a face-palm but was shaking with silent laughter, making her elbow him.

Carmine absorbed her words and then gave a "who gives a shit?" shrug.

"Add some jack, a hot tub, and some Flo Rida and you've got a typical Friday night in the life of Carmine."

Now it was her turn to face-palm.

/

She hadn't put on a bikini since Sri Lanka.

She could still rock one with the best of them but until the Fire, there had been a block. The same block that held her back from moving on, the same block that was gone now…

"I can't see you but I know you look hot. Mmm…you feel hot too…" Auggie murmured as he wrapped his arms around her from behind.

"Down, boy." she wheezed as his hands slipped under the blue top.

He growled and continued stroking her as he attacked her ear.

"H-heel…we-we're supposed to…we're supposed to be… oh, god…what are we supposed to be doing?"

"Forgot. I have a better idea, though…"

Surrendering, she turned around and devoured him, bringing her legs up around his waist. Auggie slammed her into the wall and they kissed fiercely, messily, passionately, clawing and impatient to get at each other. It was like a drug between them. One good thing about being in a tiny little bikini again was that it made it very easy to get things started. All he had to do was undo three knots and chuck her tiara (breaking a lamp in the process) and she was naked and wanting and…

A wordless yell of pleasure ripped out of her throat as he plunged right into her, not even bothering to remove his trunks. Auggie was an animal in the bedroom, pleasing and frightening her at the same time. She could barely keep up with him and sometimes she feared that she wasn't enough for him, that he'd get bored with her…

"If I'm not allowed to think too much while we're fucking, then you're not either!" he hissed while sinking his teeth into her throat.

Thinking bad, thrusting, screaming, clawing, and hanging on for dear life good. Got it. Ooh, Auggie…

His kisses were hot and demanding, making her want to melt into a puddle of goo. While panting for air, she found his ear and moaned three words that used to mean nothing but pain…

"I love you."

He shuddered and nuzzled her shoulder, pressing reverent open mouthed kisses to her collarbone even as he moved deeper, harder, faster. Her nails clawed him like a kitten, making him growl and moan in pained pleasure…

"I love you so much, Auggie…"

A particularly deep thrust made her eyes roll back into her head and her nerves misfire…

"…love you, too. Love you so much, Annie…scares the hell out of me…"

"M-me too. N-not enough to…oh, fuck…run, though…Aug...Auggie…Auggie, I'm gonna… oh, god…yes, y-yes…ohhhh, Auggie…!"

Her screams undid him and he let out a sob before succumbing, filling her to the brim and then some. They hit the floor with a dull thump and she hissed as her head knocked into the wardrobe.

"You okay?" he panted.

"Mm-hm."

"Did you ever remember what we were supposed to be doing?"

"Fuck it. We're newlyweds. Beach isn't going anywhere…"

And even if it was…well, Auggie was much better to be around anyway.