I discovered Danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil. Guess what I'm doing!

Dan - Dave

Phil - John


=PSYCHO THOUGHTS=

"Hello, internet." Dave waved at the camera, "Yeah, this one's gonna be a little weird..."

Reasons Why Dave's a FAIL~! ! (yay)

"Do you ever have elaborate daydreams about your friends or family dying horribly or feel the urge to throw yourself off of a high place or at a random moment, become aware that you have the power to kill?" He looked downright murderous for a few seconds, "Because I do."

He raised his hand in a halt motion, "Before you call the cops on my sweet ass, let me explain! I can't be the only one with these thoughts..." Dave then coughed something that suspiciously sounded like 'Gamzee'. "Like, I'll be daydreaming and then my mind goes off the deep end into some stupidly terrifying scene..."


Dave was playing his DS before suddenly thinking, What if I was in a plane crash?

Later on while mixing some ill beats, What if a bear got in my house?

He was eating some Doritos and drinking apple juice even later still when, What would happen if John had a heart attack?


"And then I imagine it in detail from start to finish, almost like a bad acid trip Lewis Carol would have while writing Alice in Wonderland." Dave concluded.


Dave was sitting next to Jade on a plane while playing his DS when he heard the pilot say, "Please turn off all electronic devices."

"Fat chance, man," He sneered, "I'm in the middle of a gym battle."

Moments later, an engine blew out.

As everyone was screaming and crying, Jade asked, "Was it really worth it, Dave?!"

"Hell yeah, Harley. My Riolu evolved." Dave answered, still playing the game even though he was falling to his death. Jade gave him a dirty look.


There was a knock on the door, which John went down to answer. "I hope the pizza is finally here! The delivery's late..." He obliviously opened the door and promptly shrieked, beginning to run. A bear was running at his heels.

He made it up the stairs where Dave innocently asked, "Is the pizza here? I'm fuckin' starving."

"RUN, BITCH, RUN." He ran right past him.

Blinking, he looked back at John, wondering at his out of character cursing. He noticed the bear when it was too late.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH! MY FACE!"


"Look man, I think you've had enough Doritos." There won't be any more for me! Dave added in his head.

"Heh, one more won't kill me." John then ate one more Dorito. He started to clutch at his chest, a shocked look on his face.

"What's wrong? John?!" Dave stared in horror as his bro sank to the floor. "Oh shit, I never learned how to do CPR!" John wasn't breathing.

Dramatic music began to play from an invisible source as Dave knelt beside his now dead best friend. "No! His death is on my hands!" He shook his fists, screaming, "WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?"


"Then I spend the next five minutes looking shell shocked," He paused, waiting for the gasps, "Yeah, I know, but even a cool kid like me can't withstand being traumatized by their own amazing brain."


Dave's mouth had parted a little and his eyebrows furrowed over his widened eyes, though you couldn't see them through his shades. The caption saying, CONGRATULATIONS appeared underneath as Zelda music played.

"Are you okay?" Rose inquired. Dave had just been starintg off into space when this strange look crossed his face.

"Huh?" He looked back at her. Rose gave him a curious look. He reached over and took her hand. "Did I ever tell you how much you mean to me?"

"... What?" Now Rose was thoroughly confused.


"But what's crazier is when I think about how easy it would be to murder someone. Yeah..." Dave rubbed the back of his neck, turning his eyes away from the camera.


Dave was sitting in the subway, casually texting when his eyes were drawn to Vriska, who was talking on the phone in her annoying voice while standing at the edge of the platform, by the tracks. "Terezi, why did you unfriend me on Facebooooooook?"

Dave glared at her darkly. I could push her.

"What?" A little angel on his shoulder (that looked suspiciously like John) exclaimed.

I'm not going to. But I could.

Vriska shot him a disgusted glance before going back to her conversation.

Right now, if I wanted to, I could just push her. And she would die.

She was examining her claws, seeming to ignore Terezi.

Dave glared harder. John the Angel looked a little worried and freaked out.

... But I'm not going to.

"Phew!"


"You obviously never will but..." Dave looked the slightest bit spooked, "you realize in that moment that you have the power over life and death."


Karkat handed Dave a knife, "Hey fuckass, go put this back while I finish the food."

Dave glanced down at the knife and then at Karkat's turned back. I could kill you. I could kill you right now; I could totally stab you. I won't do that, cause I'd never do that to you Karkitty but... I could.

"Hey, nookwhiff!" Karkat waved a hand in front of his face.

"Huh? Oh yeah, the knife." Dave then put it away, safe and out of reach.


"And then there are those times when I get the uncontrollable urge to self destruct." Dave said, "Like once, me and my Bro were playing gameboys while sitting on the roof of our apartment and as I was staring into the endless stream of dickwads below, he goes like, "you wanna throw it into the street?" and I was like "for some weird as fuck reason, yeah.""


Dave was at the top of his apartment. A little devil on his shoulder (that looked suspiciously like Rose) was saying, "Do it, do it! Jump off!"

=Existential Crisis=

"Okay, so the other day I tweeted." Dave said, nodding to camera and taking a sip from his rubix cube mug.

~My youth is slipping away as time slips like a torrential waterfall through my fingers towards inevitable death~

"And a lot of you guys were like, wut." Dave poker faced, "So here's my explanation. An existential crisis is when you start questioning the meaning of existence."

The camera began to zoom in.

"Your mind sinks through a black hole to the center of the universe, and you're falling through a spiral of thoughts on fun topics like:

"The inevitability of death!

"The crushing depression of knowing that everyone is and will inherently die alone.

"The absurd meaninglessness of the universe and, as far as we know, there is no reason for or purpose to human existence..."

He shrugged. "Yeah..."


Dave was getting himself some apple juice when he suddenly wondered, Why do I exist? After a moment of thought, he muttered, "Life is pointless..." He let his precious apple juice fall to the counter and slowly slid into a fetal position on the floor.


Dave was pumped. He had just gotten done making some ill beats and was about to update Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff. Life was good until he suddenly realized, "One day me and everyone I love is going to be dead..." He sank to the ground.

Moments later, John found him laying face down on the floor, sprawled out. It didn't look like he would be moving any time soon. John stared for a few seconds before turning around and leaving.


So yeah, I took my favorite two videos. Hope you enjoyed! Next chapter is AmzingPhil.