Author's Note: I'm back on fanfiction! Hooray! Hoorah! Anyway, so here's an update!

Also, warnings about Yaoi, hmm. And cracktasticness. (That was broken English.)

With more than enough Lotz and Kai for one chapter... Go thank Sneer and Kai19 if you're not rushing. Or check out their stories.


The next morning, bright and early, Lotz had decided to let Naruto sleep in, leaving the lad a vague and hastilly written note.
Lotz HATED mornings but the problem had been solved by simply not sleeping the night before. He did it often enough not to be overly affected by it.
Luckily, Kai had chosen a tree close to the building his companions would be spending the night in and Lotz made his way over silently to the sleeping young man.
Lotz crouched down in the branches near his target and studdied him with a bright grin. Heehee, Kai's hair had gotten a little messy sleeping in the tree and was falling loose from it band. 'Bed hair, kinda sexy. I wonder what it might look like after...' The grin grew.
Lotz didn't know if the dragon boy could sense him and quite frankly HE DIDN'T CARE!
Without further ado Lotz dropped himself into the older (much older!) boy's lap and yelled cheerily, "Mornin' KAI!"

Kai's eyes snapped open, instantly awake as usual. He looked at Lotz and smiled a little. "Mornin' to you, too." Stifling a yawn with his hand, he came to a horrible realization. "Oh man, I gotta go bathe. I forgot to do it last night... Too much stuff happenin'." Honestly, he was embarrassed to no end that he forgot, but hoped he didn't look too stupid. "Ya wouldn't happen to know where the bathhouse is around here, would ya?"

Lotz blinked a moment before grining widely! "Only too well..." In fact, said baths had been invovled in the incident that was part of the reason he was afriad to come back to Suna, "Follow me, please!" He lept off Kai and lead him to a near by bath house that was conviently (for who?) empty during this time of day. It was actually not open yet but that did little to discourage Lotz who merely climbed over the fence.

Kai could easily figure out why they were jumping the fence. He had done it before. Sometimes he had to steal things, he needed to earn money somehow! Easily he leapt over the fence and landed near a pile of towels left out for customers that morning. With a grin, he grabbed one. "Thanks, Lotz. An' I'm gonna need this." He also grabbed a bar of soap and headed to the showers, stripping and taking down his hair before scrubbing himself clean. He then brushed his teeth and headed back out to the baths, his towel wrapped around his hips. "A nice hot bath. Haven't had one of 'em in a while. Usually just bathe in the rivers or somethin'. Anythin's better than nothin'!"

At this point Lotz was half already semurged in the steeming waters, hoping Kai would notice the red tinted water floating around his blonde head. 'Oh Venus, Nobody. Drop. THE SOAP!' Once he felt he was a little more in control of himself, Lotz completely submerged himself in the water before resurfacing. He shook his blonde spikey out, tossed his head back and allowed the golden hairs to rest against his long, tanned neck before leaning back against the low stone rim of the bath, arms spread wide.

"Hey listen," Lotz began, keeping his head tilted back and eyes closed, "I've been thinking. There really no reason to be in such a hurry to leave. I thought you might like to have breakfast. I know this nice little family owned place here in Suna that makes these great fish tacos with gadoubo soup. You want?"

Kai's eyes glazed over at the thought of fish, then he shook his head to snap himself out of it. "If it's fish, no way am I sayin' no. But I thought you were in a hurry to get outta here. Ya didn't seem to be fond of the Tanuki-boy. He's not bad, though he probably scares some humans. But he's a former jinchuuriki, so he has a reason." Kai looked at Lotz, leaning back against the side of the tub, his arms propped up on the sides. "At least he's a better Kazekage than his old man. That ass threw me out anytime I came near the place. He thought I was gonna convince the brat to release Shukaku on their village, and didn't allow fish in the village since he thought it might keep me away. And now this one's actually allowin' places to serve fish!"

Lotz blinked trying to proces all the information he had just recieved... Nope, still lost, "What? But I just saw the bastard yesterday! He was with the dog-girl, right? I didn't see no Tanuki-anythings anywhere..."

Kai raised an eyebrow and looked back at Lotz. "No, that was Gaara: The Tanuki-brat. He used to be the container for Shukaku, the one-tailed tanuki. His dad was the former Kazekage. That guy's dead now, an' so Gaara's the one in charge. He's the one who's apparently datin' the dog-girl."

After a few seconds of floundering around in the hot water, Lotz resurfaced and leaned against the stone rim. "That was his SON!?" Lotz yellped pulling his head up from bewteen his arms, "Hades's balls! He looks just like his old man! I had no freakin'' idea!" Lotz sighed but seemed to pick right up and turned to his companion. Ahh, the advanteges of haveing an extreme bi-polar disorder, "Oh well. All the better. Prehaps his son won't be such a hard ass and let me stay a little longer. Hey! Can I wash your hair? Please!?" He pleaded, giving Kai the sad kit (baby fox) eyes.

Not used to getting such an offer, Kai just blinked at him. "Ya wanna... wash my hair? Why? An' yeah, Gaara's a lot better'n his old man. He used to be a psychopathic murderer 'til Kyuubi-boy straightened him out. So I think he's more lenient." Not sure what to do, Kai turned his back to Lotz so he could wash his hair if he really wanted to, without making it too obvious. After all, if it was meant as a joke or something, he didn't want to look stupid.

"Yaysorz!" exclaimed Lotz. He lathered same shampoo onto his hands and ran it through Kai's hair, being careful with his long, painted nails and taking time to message the scalp, smiling all the while.

Kai tensed up when Lotz began washing his hair, not sure what to do or expect, not used to people doing this for him. Eventually, though, the feeling became very soothing and he closed his eyes, relaxing a little as he allowed his hands to rest on his lap, since he still didn't trust the towels provided, and would rather not make an idiot of himself, especially not in front of someone whom he just met the day before. "Out of curiosity... why are ya so happy to be washin' my hair?"

Kai appearently hadn't noticed that Lotz, vain and glorious being that he was, hadn't bothered with a towel at all! Lotz grinned happily, slightly humming to himself. Even purring a little.

"Heehee, what? You have nice hair. Doesn't your girlfriend do this for you?" asked Lotz.

Confused, Kai looked over his shoulder at Lotz. "Girlfriend? What girlfriend? I've been single for a long time now. An' even when I wasn't, they never washed my hair for me." Still a little confused, he looked back in front of him, adjusting his towel again to make sure he was still decent. "I usually just washed it myself. They didn't usually bathe with me, either, but there was the rare times they'd get up the courage to do so."

Lotz just smiled, "Really? Wow! I thought you'd be beatin' them off with a chair. So no girlfriend, huh? Why not? Any reason?" He asked, now messaging the base of the skull, 'Easy Lotz, you haven't even taken him out to eat for Athena's sake. Oooh, but he's right there in front of me...' Lotz nearly whimpered at his thoughts but covered it up with a purr. Kai really had nice hair and Lotz breifly entertained the thought of cuddling up with Kai's head. But at the moment it was soapy so he could wait till it was clean and dry. Lotz grinned.

Suddenly, Kai sent him a grin over his shoulder. "Very simple reason: I got tired of people just wantin' me cuz of how I looked, an' cuz of my bein' a demon. The whole 'I slept with a biju!' thing, ya know? So, I stay away from villages, an' if I have to go in 'em, I take on my chibi form. They won't mess with me if they think I'm just a kid. Though I do sometimes get perverts hittin' on me, but I can fight 'em off easily." He relaxed more at the massage he was getting, a pleased purr-like sound coming from him.

'I hadn't even thought of that...' Lotz frowned a little, 'Is that what I'm doing? No, I know better then to be attracted to demonic power...'

'And yet you're still feeling one up?' part of him said sarcastically.

'SHUDDUP!'

'So are we?'

'Huh? Just hitting on him 'cause he's got a nice bod'?' Lotz let his eyes roam over the young man in front of him, 'Maaaaybeee... heehee...' Lotz grinned and then frowned a little at the thought . 'Oh, who cares! It's not like I'm asking him to marry me!' Lotz smiled again at taking the excuse of washing the top of Kai's head to get the him to lean slightly into Lotz's tanned chest, snuggling the dragon-boy just a little bit.

"But what do you do if they DO hit on you in chibi form?" Lotz teased, "That ever happen to ya? I bet ya make a cute kid."

"... Are you purring!?" Lotz asked excitedly.

Kai laughed, his eyes closing as he leaned against Lotz, relaxed and still making that quiet purring noise. "It does happen, like I said, I do get perverts messin' with me when I'm like that. I outrun 'em if I can, usually after makin' sure they're hurt too bad to follow me. Sometimes, if I wanna just shock the hell out of 'em, I turn back into this form, or even my slightly demonic form, an' they run screamin'." Kai realized what was just asked, and blinked, a slight blush appearing. "An' I'm not purrin'! I don't purr." With that, he tried to force himself to stop making the purring noise.

"You are! HAHAheee!" Lotz grined at the other males discomfort, "Awww... don't be like that!" Lotz gave him a slight hug of reasurance... REALLY! That's all it was! "I think its cute," Lotz said and then started purring a little himself. He then returned to washing the ends of the hair, "OK. So you've had a few girlfriends. What about men? Any boyfriends?" Lotz asked causually.

Kai relaxed again, after tensing up from the hug, not used to receiving them, the quiet purr returning. "I said I'd had lovers before, I never said they were all women. I've had a few male lovers. My last one was male, actually. Women got on my nerves so easily. Ya sleep with 'em, an' suddenly they expect ya to do anythin' they want ya to." With a shrug, he smiled and tilted his head slightly so Lotz got a spot that caused him to purr slightly louder and shiver a little. "Sorry, that felt good, couldn't help myself."

"Oh, don't be sorry! It's my pleasure!" Lotz said, trying to keep the leer out of voice. "So which do you prefer?" Lotz asked, looking for that spot again. 'Found it!' Lotz grinned. (1)

With another shiver, Kai leaned into the touch, purring still and smiling. "I prefer men, I think. They can protect themselves, they don't cling to me every second of the day like women tend to do, an' they don't expect me to do stuff for 'em all the time. So I try to avoid women completely when in this form. That's why I'm glad I haven't had to put up with many women in this village."

Lotz grinned like the perv he was, "That's nice to know, friend. But not really what I meant when I asked what you prefered. If it's not too personal. Here, lean your head back in the water so I can wash the suds out."

Kai blinked over his shoulder at Lotz in confusion. "Then what did ya mean when ya asked what I preferred?" Kai allowed himself to be moved around, but ended up leaning forward so he could make sure to get all the suds out, due to habit and not really thinking, too busy trying to figure out what Lotz meant, but still watching him.

Kai bent forward, denying Lotz the chance to run his fingures through the man's hair but make up for it with a marvolous view of his not quite concealed dick. 'Give me strength!'

"What I meant, lad, was do you prefer to uke? Or seme?" Lotz smiled slyly.

Surprised, Kai straightened, his hair mostly rinsed out. "Well, I don't mind either, but I suppose I prefer bein' the uke. I mean, I make all my own decisions an' have total control all the other times, so I guess it's nice not to have to be in total control for once. So yeah, uke." Annoyed with the soap still on the top of his head, Kai started cupping water in his hands to pour over himself.

'He took that rather well...' Lotz smiled, walked up to Kai with a wet towel, and finished washing away the remaining suds on top. "Heh, you have nice eyes," he said looking the other in the face, "So how longs it been since... you know?" He wiggled his blonde eyebrows.

Kai smiled at Lotz when the suds were gone. "Thanks. For the help an' for the compliment. An' as for how long... well, let's see... about 17 years. It would be longer, but there was that one time in the woods with that guy..." With a shrug, Kai grins. "I was seme that time, though. How about you? Ya got any current lovers? With your looks, I'd be surprised if ya didn't have a few of 'em in different villages, waitin' for ya."

That sly smile was back on Lotz face again, "Nothin' worth mentioning. But I'm workin' on it. And thank you for the flattery."

Lotz left the towel on Kai's head and stepped back some. He took a glance up at the rising desert sun and decided it was time to go. Lotz stepped out of the bath in all his bronzed naked glory, not even thinking about the clear view this gave the dragon-boy. But it was only fair really.
Lotz grabbed a towel but instead of covering himself up he used it to dry his wild blonde hair. He slung the towl over his shoulders as he looked over at Kai.

"So? Breakfast? My treat." Lotz smiled.

Kai looked up at his face, trying to appear that he hadn't been staring, and nodded. "Sounds good to me. After all, ya promised me fish." At the reminder of his favorite food, he climbed out of the baths and back over to the pile of his own clothes, removing the towels (not really thinking about it) and uses a fresh towel to dry off, his back to Lotz, before pulling on his pants, proving that, yes he does go commando, before turning back to Lotz, still shirtless and combing out his hair. "So how far away is this place we're goin' to? Do you think it'll be open by now?"

Lotz, who was by now alread dressed, really he didn't wear much aside from the jewelry used to take up space on his arms, neck and ears, and stood waiting for Kai. 'He has. No. UNDERWEAR! Oh Loki. If I could just get my hand down- NO! Focus! Besides, it's not like you don't go commando all the time.'

'Yeah, but I've never wanted to jump my own ass before.'

'So what? You plan to jump yourself in the near furture.'

'I play my cards right and we wont have to now will we...' (2)Lotz turned around to hide the evil smirk on his face.

He placed his hands in his pokects and started walking off. "No, it's not far, and it should be open by now." He answered as they began walking down the strees as people began coming out of their homes. The sun wasn't up yet and the air was fairly cool but promised an intense heat later on so many were going to take advantege of it while it lasted.

As they walked Lotz glanced over at Kai, "So what do you do? For a living I mean. Are you a ninja?"

'I wonder if Naruto's awake yet?' Lotz's eye glazed over some and his features softened just thinking about his little brother who he would finally have with him, 'And instead of spending the morning with him I'm out hitting on a freakin' demon! A DEMON!'

Kai shook his head, walking along by Lotz calmly. "No, as a biju, I'm not allowed to join any village, let alone learn jutsu. I can't be a ninja. So, I simply travel around, sellin' things I find in other villages, like weapons and such. It's not much, but it's somethin' to keep me from bein' bored. Once the boredom sets in, it's only a matter of time before ya go insane, an' I like my sanity intact." Glancing at the tower, he grins. "I'm guessin' after breakfast you're gonna go start the fox-brat's trainin'? He should be up by then. I heard he likes to sleep in. Ya can even stop an' get him some ramen. He'll be your best friend for life after that." He smiles at Lotz before looking at the place he led them to, eyes glazing over slightly at the idea of fish.

"That's okay. I usually like to sleep in too. But we'll worry about that some other time. Look, there's the place," he said pointing ahead.

They walked into a samll restruant with a sailors theme despite the lack of ocean in the desert," Here, let me order. I promise you'll like it. Shoot me if you don't."

While they waited for their food, Lotz looked across to the dragon-hottie in front of him and placed his elbows on the table and his head in his hands, "So? You ever steal anything?"

Kai laughed and blushed a little. "Well, yeah. I've had to before. I'm not an endless supply of money, after all. As a biju, I don't really need it. But I need somethin' to keep me busy. Plus, I love the thrill of the chase if they try to catch me. I can't help it. It's in my blood. Run, hunt, fight, kill. I gotta do it sometimes."

Kai looked excited when the food arrived. "I knew I could trust ya! Ya made some really good choices!! I really owe ya for this one!"

Lotz was careful to hide the suddenly evil smile behinde hands and gold bangs, 'This is just TOO perfect. I'd almost beleive he really was a ninja. Or at least gettin' paid for this...' Lots looked up then and the evil, greedy look from before all but melted. He was stuck somehwere between nervousness and amusment at the look of pure joy as Kai enjoyed the seafood dishes. It really was good food but... 'He's kinda like Naruto and his ramen...' Lotz was completely unware of the kind smile that made it way to his face.

"Hey! Save some for me! Oh, never mind. Waiter, another oder of... everything I just ordered, pretty much. And some of your special salsa while your at it." He turned to Kai," You gotta try this stuff with the salsa. Toni does wonders with the stuff. Bastard still won't tell me what."

"So, what do you usually do in your spare time. And how do you know my- know Naruto?" Lotz asked.

Kai grinned up at Lotz from his food, licking his lips to make sure he got the last bits of flavor before speaking. "In my spare time, I travel, swim, check up on the containers, those kind of things. An' that's how I know the fox-boy. Me an' Kyuubi used to know each other, so when I found out he got sealed up, I decided to see the kid for myself. Kept him from drownin', too. Apparently some sick fuck from the village had the whole 'kill the demon' idea an' tossed him in the river. I got him back, though. He still runs away screamin' from any body of water he sees...

"An' ya don't have to hide it, I picked up on the hints. I won't tell anyone, though. Ya probably gotta reason for keepin' it secret. An' it's not my business, really. So long as the kid stays alive, I'm good." Smiling, Kai went back to his food. "An' I really do owe ya for the food. Just name it. An' if this salsa's as good as ya say, I might end up havin' to owe ya double!"

Lotz's expression darkened, "...How much have you figured out? Ah! Speak of the devil! Here's the salsa. Can I get some whisky too, please? In a glass. Thanks, sweetness." He winked at the waitress, before turning back to the dragon-boy.

'Fuck! What does he know and how!? Heh, like I was subtle. But still...'

Kai sighed and began to talk quietly, wanting to respect Lotz's privacy. "How ya act around him when ya think no one's watchin', the way ya carried him last night, the fact that ya seem so eager to train him, ya look so much alike, an' that slip-up just now confirmed it. Like I said, not like I plan on tellin' anyone. It's between you an' him." Deciding to try the salsa, Kai's eyes widened slightly. "I do not owe ya double. I owe ya triple!" Kai smiled happily at Lotz, but made sure not to devour the salsa out of respect for the other.

Lotz leaned back in his seat, "You saved my little brother, for that I owe you alot," He smirked then, "but I may hold you to that last one. So... you ever skip on a bill?" He asked while admiring his black painted, long nails.


REVIEW, PLEASE!!

(1) This is where Sneer mentions, "Is it me, or does Lotz seem a bit saner around Kai?" And Kai says back, "Yeah, he does... and Kai seems more relaxed and talkative. Weird, huh?"

(2) Sneer says, "FYI, extrme bi-polar disorders often result in a mild version of schizophrinia called schizo-technical. So thats why Lotz thinks in first, second, and third person. Sometimes all three, and has conflicting priorities and interest."