Part 9
Amy let the pen drop from her hands as she rose her fingertips to her temples. She massaged them, her eyes closed as she tried to turn her thoughts to writing a rock-solid brief for the up-coming case. Yes, Jonesy was probably meant to be doing this, but she had decided to let him go early. He and Susie were really making a go of things this time; maybe it was her and PJ that had become their inspiration.
Warm arms wrapped around her shoulders, as all too familiar lips made their way up her neck and along her cheek. A playful smile spread across her face as she let herself be romanced by PJ Hasham…the man she planned to spend every morning waking up beside, the man she wanted to be with forever.
It had been a little over a month since PJ's heart attack, and the long hospital nights that had ultimately weakened her painful resolve. He had been out of hospital for a little less than a week, and although he hadn't returned to work, he seemed to be spending most of his time drifting around the station and watching over his colleagues' shoulders. When Sophie decided that PJ would be fit for duty, he would take up a CI posting in Mt. Thomas, something that not even Falcon-Price could deny him. Amy and Jonesy hadn't worked out exactly how they planned to squeeze a third desk into their office, but they knew they'd think of something.
A familiar whistle came from the muster room as the uniforms caught sight of PJ and Amy's embrace. It was usually Joss or Alex who led the cheering whenever they locked lips – perhaps because they were the only two single officers left in the team these days.
Amy closed her eyes as she let herself fall into the warmth that was her new life with PJ. It felt as though she had been reborn through her relationship with PJ, and was becoming a new person. It had also brought about new changes in the Mt. Thomas Police Station.
Just days after Amy had let herself go with PJ; she had received word that Susie and Jonesy had hooked up again for the trillionth time. Amy knew that they'd make it now, now that the things that had once torn them apart mattered so little. Whenever Jonesy had to go out on a case, he'd take special care to ensure it was Susie who got to come with him, and Amy knew exactly what they got up to in the CI car. Not that she could blame them…as long as they weren't disrupting normal work, they were generally allowed to go at it as much as they liked.
In recent days, Amy could help but notice that Matt and Kelly seemed to be closer than ever before. The pair would always be volunteering for extra patrols and night surveillance operations, often just for the privacy of the patrol car. At first, Amy had been quite entertained with watching Alex and Tom's exasperation at the idea that two Constables were sneaking around together, but there was no way of stopping them. Now, neither seemed to care. They weren't as skilled at hiding away for secret kisses as Susie and Jonesy. Amy had lost count of the times she would go to grab a cup of coffee and walk in on Matt and Kelly half-undressed in the station mess room.
Even Tom seemed to be moving on. It had been a bit of a joke between PJ and Amy when they first discovered his newfound relationship with Chris Riley, but the joke had lost it's appeal once they'd realised that it was no different from them. Good friends becoming good lovers.
Amy stood up from her desk and wrapped her arms around PJ's neck, letting their lips meet. She was sure that she could taste the seafood they had been eating at lunchtime as she heard applause from the muster room increase as Matt and Kelly returned from one of their 'secret' rendezvous'. It wasn't long before Tom ended what had been a long phone conversation – with Chris, no doubt – and stormed out into the main station, instantly silencing his younger charges. Amy and PJ broke away to watch as Tom sent Kelly and Joss out on patrol, much to Matt's disdain and mumbled something under his breath about in-office relationships as he retreated back to his office.
Amy laughed as she turned back to PJ, smiling more broadly than she could ever remember smiling in her entire life. Eighteen months, she could never have imagined falling into PJ's arms. Yes, she had admired him, and she had respected him, but she hadn't cared for him. It was funny how much things could change.
Even though they had been together for little over three weeks, Amy still couldn't say the L-word. She still couldn't just look him in the eye and tell him that she loved him. As much as she knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with PJ, and as much as she knew that they had been brought together for a reason, she refused to use that one four-letter word.
She couldn't tell PJ she loved him when love created an image in the back of her mind of the pain and hurt her uncle had inflicted years before. Not when it still made her want to hide under the covers of her bed at the mere thought.
No, she wouldn't tell PJ she loved him until she could hear the word and the first thing that came to mind would be PJ's loving face, and the feeling as she lay in his arms every morning before they had to get up and face the real world.
Not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but some day she would have the courage and the conviction to wake up and curl further into his arms, and she would say the three words that would seal their relationship forever. Just three little words that meant more to them than to anybody else in the world.
One day, Amy knew, she would tell PJ that she loved him, and she would mean it. It would come from deep in her heart and would signal a new beginning. It would be the first day of true freedom, where she would finally shed the cocoon of pain that her uncle had brought to her and emerge a butterfly, and would dance up into the sky with PJ at her side.
And the best would have finally come.
Heartache, more or less, so useless, all the heartache
But when the flood of sudden tears came down
We smiled and stood our ground
And the laughter we'd been counting on
It finally came around
And the best is yet to come
This is only the beginning
And we've only just begun
To realise the best is yet come
