DWIGHT IS SURPRISED, SORT OF

You're kidding me. Michael chose Ryan as his right-hand man in the Senate now? What a silly thing to do. Ryan. I couldn't help him, of course. I'm Regional Manager of Dunder-Mifflin, it's responsible work.

I worked under Michael for about twelve years. I would've done anything for him. And I'm useful-I have to have my hands registered as deadly weapons at local police stations when Angela and the boy and I travel.

Fourth degree black belt. Sometimes the cops laugh at me-A sheriff in Boise, Idaho wet his pants laughing when I came to register my wrists...we were down there for a Persian cat club expo-Angela's thing-but I did my duty.

I've sent Michael several, really numerous e-mails and letters with counsel on the issues he really should pursue. But he's his own man. I thought it was very cruel when Al Franken made fun of Michael on C-Span. You have to present authority, and Michael is a bit wishy-washy. I am amazed sometimes that he ran the branch for so long, so few of his subordinates, his minions-they didn't respect him.

And I have a cousin in the Colorado militia-the one in Colorado Springs. They've gotten a lot of press from what I call Pravda-NBC.

And I told Michael that I could have Cousin Wolfgang get his troupe to endorse him, but Miss Gibbs, who preceded Ryan, I guess, wouldn't allow kind of leadership is that? I'd have Miss Gibbs horsewhipped, have Ryan horsewhipped. I may bring corporal punishment into the office. Michael spanked his errant nephew, who was interning here once though, and of course there was an unnecessary lawsuit. Such a shame.